Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[Grollub]

God I can't say this too many times - I simply love these forums [:D]

[Smeulders]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Guys;

This is Mrs. Mandrake. The "Captain" isn't going to be around for a while. Unbenownst to me he was "laying pipe", there was a loud noise and he staggered inside with a piece of plastic pipe sticking out of his forhead. I figured I would take a break from Farmville and Facebook to tell you. In lieu of flowers please send money.

He couldn't tell me his password but he is such an old goat that he pretty much uses the same password for everything. Now I am going to read through this and make sure he didn't say anything bad about me. I am beginning to think the prenuptial was a bad idea.

Mrs. Mandrake


PS. I spelled "prenuptial" wrong but so does everyone.

Dear Mrs. Mandrake,

Your reputation preceeds you on this forum.

Please let us know if you are in need of any services whilest your husband is in hospital. I'm somewhat certain that there are a goodly number of forumites that are more versed in 'laying pipe' than your husband that live in So.Cal. With the friendly and open nature of so many of these gents, I'm sure they'd be happy to help out around your home in the interim.

Best wishes always,

Chickenboy.

Is it a coincidence that I was reading an onion article on "laying pipe" but a few hours ago ?

[Cap Mandrake]

Dear Chickenboy;


Thank you for your kind offer. Fortunately, the doctors don't think Captain Mandrake's epic pipe-laying ability will be affected. It seems the PVC glue didn't stick to the titanium plate he has in his skull.

I was somewhat unhappy to learn that my Christams gift didn't have the ceramic band because the bastard told me it did.


Mrs. Mandrake


PS...he asks that "Johnny Jap" (whoever that is) please send the turn

[dekwik]

Hi Mrs. Mandrake:

I hate to break it to you but the Cap seems to be a less than ideal husband. I'll save you some time (and the need to wade through a lot of drivel). Just look up post 3160 and 3138 or starters. And there's plenty more where that came from.

Now it seems to me that a woman of your talents should be treated a little better than that. Kinda Special. Like a lady. I've a business trip planned to SoCal next week. What say you and I hook up for a few hours? I know a really nice Italian place. Checkerboard table cloths, Chianti bottles with the candles in them. Fishing nets on the wall. Very classy. I'm a good listener.

PS. I'm a SWM, mid forties, height proportionate to weight (way more athletic than most of the guys posting in this forum).

PPS. please send picture.

PPPS. I'm not sure who that Johnny J character is, but Cap seems to know a lot about him.....

[Itdepends]

I'm a bit worried about you guys- does laying pipe mean something of a sexual nature over your way?
Because here it means ........how can I put this delicately...... extruding a prodigous quantity of solid waste from your nether regions, preferably in on contiguous section.

[bigred]

ORIGINAL: Itdepends

I'm a bit worried about you guys- does laying pipe mean something of a sexual nature over your way?
Because here it means ........how can I put this delicately...... extruding a prodigous quantity of solid waste from your nether regions, preferably in on contiguous section.

Yes, I would recommend definitions be established for "pipe laying " versus "bottom dwelling".

[sprior]

We REALLY need a turn.

[Cap Mandrake]

OK...I'm back. Docs said I should be more careful laying pipe.

Anything happen while I was gone?

Say, I don't suppose anyone said anything about that watch I bought Stalker Girl for Christmas? She is asking a lot of questions.

[khyberbill]

What watch?

[Roger Neilson II]

Where's the emergency button for 'SEND A TURN NOW'?

Roger

[Roger Neilson II]

Aha, found it.....

[Cap Mandrake]

SANTA MARIA, MADRE DE DIOS!

I just read back a bit. You guys are a bunch of animals! If the Hyenas ever had a fraternity they would kick you out for moral turpitude.

I had this big WITP/AE LAN party and sleepover planned with three big screens to play The Pacific, punch, camouflage party favors even hired some Andrews Sisters impersonators. That is SOOOOOO cancelled. I am really quite disappointed.

[Cap Mandrake]

I am sending an email to Admirar Rord Nerson now to see what the problem is.

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

OK...I'm back. Docs said I should be more careful laying pipe.

Anything happen while I was gone?

Say, I don't suppose anyone said anything about that watch I bought Stalker Girl for Christmas? She is asking a lot of questions.

This watch?

"I got something for ya. [Holds up watch] This watch I got here was first purchased by your great-grandfather during the first world war..."

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Itdepends

I'm a bit worried about you guys- does laying pipe mean something of a sexual nature over your way?
Because here it means ........how can I put this delicately...... extruding a prodigous quantity of solid waste from your nether regions, preferably in on contiguous section.

No.

Round these parts, such activities are referred to as, 'dropping kids off at the pool, cutting wolf bait, heaving a Havana, dropping a log or taking a dump'. For those Trekkies in the audience-'going to Uranus to fight the Klingons' is a suitable missive.

Hope this helps.

[Cap Mandrake]

Come on Admirar Rord Nerson. We need your help, prease.


I wonder if they have a position for English/American translator at the UN? The potential for a diplomatic incident due to misunderstanding is significant.

[Alfred]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Come on Admirar Rord Nerson. We need your help, prease.


I wonder if they have a position for English/American translator at the UN? The potential for a diplomatic incident due to misunderstanding is significant.

Not before San Francisco 1945.

You could try League of Nations. They might have a vacancy for an English translator but will definitely have no vacancy for an American translator due to absolutely no demand for Americanese at Geneva.[:)]

Suggest you try British embassy at Washington. Perhaps they could assign someone from their equipment purchasing or Lend Lease co-ordination team to help out with the translating.

Alfred

[Cap Mandrake]

Maybe a screenshot will calm the savage beasts.

[Cap Mandrake]

Even Jap merchantmen are dangerous. I cant figure out where their tanker traffic is.

[Alfred]

Have you tried back tracking from where the ambergris was found. Taking into account the currents, tides, wind blah blah, they could find the whales. Where the whales are, there should be Japanese harpooners. See if you can find a Captain Ahab, he will be particularly motivated in the search.

Alfred