Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

Onime No Kyo · Post by **Onime No Kyo** » Wed Mar 16, 2011 2:28 pm

Thats an interesting notion. What if El Rufo is the guys nickname....which he received after an unfortunate incident in HS involving clandestine ingestion of sleeping pills....[X(]

CaptDave · Post by **CaptDave** » Wed Mar 16, 2011 5:10 pm

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So I was out walking the quadripedal house destroyers the other night and this woman pulls up in a white Escalade.

Woman in a white Escalade: Excuse me, have you seen a lost dog?

Me: No, I haven't, what does he look like, I'll keep my eyes open.

Woman in a white Escalade: Oh, he's a Papillon, like this one.

Me: <I now notice a small pair of mammalian eyes and a puff of fur peeking out over the door> OH. <I don't have the heart to tell her that I thought she was talking about an actual dog instead a hamster cross. Jerry the rabbit was 3x the size of this thing and he STILL got killed by the bobcat. The big owl that prowls the neighborhood skies at night could take this thing easily. Then there are the coyotes. I don't even think a mountain lion would bother with the thing. I keep up the charade>

What is his name?

Woman in a white Escalade: Oh, he's "Big Boy".

Big Boy? Holy crap! No wonder the thing is lost. He is probably tired of all the teasing from the neghborhood dogs. I imagine he has rolled in left over meat and is sitting on the golf course, shivering, waiting for the coyotes with his eyes closed.

What's even worse for Big Boy is that "papillon" is French for "butterfly." The poor dog has been embarrassed to death!

fcharton · Post by **fcharton** » Wed Mar 16, 2011 7:05 pm

ORIGINAL: CaptDave
What's even worse for Big Boy is that "papillon" is French for "butterfly." The poor dog has been embarrassed to death!

It is also the name of a famous brand of Roquefort cheese. Not sure this would be better news for Big Boy, though (but it sure would tell something about her owner taste for food).

Cap Mandrake, if you do find the dog, I suggest you don't hand it back to her mistress, but find a dog shrink, a psycho-vet, or whatever they call those Veterinarians Psychiatrists. Poor big boy certainly need all medical help it can get its paws on.

Francois

anarchyintheuk · Post by **anarchyintheuk** » Wed Mar 16, 2011 7:29 pm

I would also check for any hoa rules concerning the return of emasculated dogs to their owners. Don't want to run afoul of any hot asian hoa presidents . . . unless, of course, you do.

Cap Mandrake · Post by **Cap Mandrake** » Wed Mar 16, 2011 7:41 pm

...

Moondawggie · Post by **Moondawggie** » Wed Mar 16, 2011 11:44 pm

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: fcharton

Not to mention that the actual Spanish word for "company" calls for the feminine article. I don't even know what the say. Is calling something "El Rufo Company" a marketing decision?

If "rufo" is a masculine, and the -o ending suggests so, this is actually legit. Means "company of the roof", "el" goes with rufo.

Aha! They worked hard and several times were still working at night WITHOUT LIGHTS about 7:30 when I got home. I would not want to be the liability guarantor of El Rufo Company.

Uh, I hope that you checked with the state of CA contracting board to make sure their license and contributions to the state's UI and SDI were current:

Otherwise, if they were on your roof, and fell off, YOU were liability guarantor!

It's so bueno to be a rich doctor with deep pockets, verdad? You have all the frre time in the world to check out contractor's licenses, and subsequently consult at length with your personal defense attorney, then testify in court about how you "assumed" that based on the solid name "El Rufo Company" that it categorically had to be a legitimate, established firn serving the community for at least 100+ years. Who would think otherwise? [8D]

witpqs · Post by **witpqs** » Wed Mar 16, 2011 11:51 pm

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

Uh, I hope that you checked with the state of CA contracting board to make sure their license and contributions to the state's User Interface and Strategic Defense Initiaive were current:

I had no idea roofing was so technical! [:D]

Chickenboy · Post by **Chickenboy** » Thu Mar 17, 2011 1:17 am

ORIGINAL: fcharton
Cap Mandrake, if you do find the dog, I suggest you don't hand it back to her mistress, but find a dog shrink, a psycho-vet, or whatever they call those Veterinarians Psychiatrists. Poor big boy certainly need all medical help it can get its paws on.

Hey...I'm a psycho vet. Well, sometimes.

I can 'dog whisper' as well as any of 'em I guess. And it goes a little something like this..."Psst...hey little doggie...have mommy bring lots of money to the next session....m.o.n.e.y..."

Moondawggie · Post by **Moondawggie** » Thu Mar 17, 2011 2:42 am

ORIGINAL: witpqs

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

Uh, I hope that you checked with the state of CA contracting board to make sure their license and contributions to the state's User Interface and Strategic Defense Initiaive were current:

I had no idea roofing was so technical! [:D]

Well, maybe not exactly "technical" but quite "bureaucratic:" Unemployment Insurance and State Disability Insurance.

You can't have too many rules and regulations applying to homeowners, you know!

fcharton · Post by **fcharton** » Thu Mar 17, 2011 5:20 am

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy
Psst...hey little doggie...have mommy bring lots of money to the next session....m.o.n.e.y..."

Calling Big Boy Papillon "little doggie" might not do him a favour, and calling Cap Mandrake "mommy" might have unpredictable results (but you never know).

Francois

Cap Mandrake · Post by **Cap Mandrake** » Thu Mar 17, 2011 5:43 pm

I was taking the quadripedal house destroyers out for a walk last night and they almost pulled my arm off going for a skunk. Damn thing had an attitude too. It stared us down for a bit and then casually walked up into the tennis pro's yard.

Then I remembered Big Boy. What if he has (had) black and white coloring and that was a male skunk.....and the skunk <shudders> had his way with Big Boy?

The lady in the white Escalade put up some signs..."LOST PAPILLON, NAME: "BIG BOY" (but he won't answer to that name)". The signs are gone now. That could be a really happy ending, or it could be Big Boy came home as a gacked up owl pellet. Either way, I hope Big Boy is at peace.

Cap Mandrake · Post by **Cap Mandrake** » Thu Mar 17, 2011 5:45 pm

..

Onime No Kyo · Post by **Onime No Kyo** » Thu Mar 17, 2011 8:59 pm

Are there a lot of skunks in your neighborhood who speak like Charles Boyer? [:D]

rtrapasso · Post by **rtrapasso** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 2:26 pm

[>:] [>:]

Cap Mandrake · Post by **Cap Mandrake** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 2:53 pm

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

[>:] [>:]

Seriously..we are waiting on Admirar Rord Nerson, me thinks. Probably one of those time dilation things caused by all the radiation in the atmosphere...or he could be chopping wood again.

sprior · Post by **sprior** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 2:55 pm

Or he could be watching the rugby

Cap Mandrake · Post by **Cap Mandrake** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 3:11 pm

*************USAAF Pilot's Union Local 1, Suva, Aug. 1, 1942**********

Hirsute Treasurer:...11 thousand, 4 hundred 87. Damn, these dues really add up. <takes ledger to make entry>

Union Boss in fine linen slacks: What the Hell are you doing, Yossarian, you crazy son of a bitch?

Hirsute Treasurer: I was going to put in the total.

Union Boss in fine linen slacks: I think you made a mistake. <he scoops a large portion of the money into a briefcase> Count it again.

Hirsute Treasurer: Milo, you crazy son a bitch, are you trying to get us arrested?

Union Boss in fine linen slacks: HAHAHAHAHH! Oh, Yossarian, you altar boy, you kill me. We are DEAD, remember? If the CID guy comes by we just show him the condolence letter to your dad. What is he going to do? That would be the worst example of double jeaporday since the signing of the Magna Carta.

Hirsute Treasurer: Magna Carta?

Union Boss in fine linen slacks: Yossarian, Yossarian, you really should have paid attention in history.

Hirsute Treasurer: I did. I paid attention to Mary Jane's breasts.

Union Boss in fine linen slacks: And where did that get you?

Hirsute Treasurer: There is something to be said for living for the moment.

Union Boss in fine linen slacks: That is what we are doing, living for the moment. Now count it again..........

Cap Mandrake · Post by **Cap Mandrake** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 3:13 pm

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

Are there a lot of skunks in your neighborhood who speak like Charles Boyer? [:D]

Huh-HUH! Sank heaven for leetle papeeYOHN, eh?

Cap Mandrake · Post by **Cap Mandrake** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 3:17 pm

ORIGINAL: sprior

Or he could be watching the rugby

Probably the only guy watching rugby right now in Colorado is Richard Reid. [:)]

You need one of the 500 chanel satellite things to even find it.

EDIT: I actually enjoy watching rugby. Who is playing now?

Onime No Kyo · Post by **Onime No Kyo** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 3:19 pm

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

[>:] [>:]

Seriously..we are waiting on Admirar Rord Nerson, me thinks. Probably one of those time dilation things caused by all the radiation in the atmosphere...or he could be chopping wood again.

I was looking around my units and one of the Brit commanders (dont recall what unit) had a middle name of "Royd". Chinese mother, perhaps? [:D]

Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

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