At dawn we slept...in the cab on the way back from Olongapo

[Alfred]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Wait a minute, are you saying Australians weigh more than Africans? If they are Ethiopians it is probably true

Well ... you do remember the size of the "Champion Swimmer for Life", and he was most definitely African even if he thought there was some connection with the Last King of Scotland.

Alfred

[Sardaukar]

Well....

[Cap Mandrake]

Did I do the 13th of May? Here is a summary.

Lots of small Jap TF's milling about off the NW tip of New Guinea so I send some SBD's..and 15/18th of a Marine SBD squadron gets murdered by an unbelievable number of Zekes ....<facepalm>..the carriers are back.

Oh, yeah....Bataan AF decline to 40% runway damaged so I sent in what we had and just murdered the bombers over Clark.

In the meantime, the LYB's night attacked Cagayan (wah crime) and then pulled in every fighter they had to Manila and shot down 7 B-24/Liberators

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Sardaukar

Well....

Is that phtoshopped?

[Cap Mandrake]

**********************May 14, 1943(e)*****************

PI, the big show: Due to the (so far) succcesful unloading of a 4000 ton AK at Bataan, the supply is up 50% to 12K...and the "Create PT boats" light goes on. [:)] The complacent LYB's were unloading at Subic, which is really just a cab ride away.

Night Time Surface Combat, near Subic Bay at 78,76, Range 10,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
PB Toshi Maru #2
xAK Kiso Maru, Torpedo hits 2, and is sunk
xAK Kusuyama Maru
xAK Mayasan Maru, Shell hits 1, Torpedo hits 3, and is sunk
xAK Chinkai Maru, Shell hits 2
xAK Surakaruta Maru, Torpedo hits 2, and is sunk

Allied Ships
PT-105
PT-106
PT-107
PT-108
PT-109
PT-110

[Cap Mandrake]

There are only half a dozen RAAF Hudsons at Davao. Clearly, they are attacking on the "bearing" and don't know if our bombers were at Cagayan or Davao[:)]

[Cap Mandrake]

They attack Cagayan too and this actually works

Night Air attack on Cagayan , at 79,89

Weather in hex: Partial cloud

Raid spotted at 39 NM, estimated altitude 12,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 14 minutes

Japanese aircraft
G3M3 Nell x 9

Allied aircraft
no flights

Japanese aircraft losses
G3M3 Nell: 2 damaged

Allied aircraft losses
B-24D1 Liberator: 4 damaged
Liberator II: 1 damaged

Airbase hits 4
Runway hits 7

[Cap Mandrake]

Wait...maybe I am confusing the 13th with the 14th? Doesn't matter. It's not like it's a historical document or anything.

Morning Air attack on Clark Field , at 79,76

Weather in hex: Light cloud

Raid spotted at 38 NM, estimated altitude 9,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 10 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M5 Zero x 9
Ki-21-IIa Sally x 3
Ki-21-IIb Sally x 47
Ki-49-IIa Helen x 27

Allied aircraft
Kittyhawk III x 7
A-36 Mustang x 4
P-40K Warhawk x 10
F4U-1 Corsair x 3

Japanese aircraft losses
A6M5 Zero: 5 destroyed
Ki-21-IIa Sally: 2 damaged
Ki-21-IIb Sally: 7 damaged
Ki-49-IIa Helen: 1 destroyed, 3 damaged

No Allied losses

Allied ground losses:
6 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled

Airbase hits 20
Airbase supply hits 2
Runway hits 22

[Cap Mandrake]

Yes, even after a second Vodka tonic I can see a pattern.

Morning Air attack on Clark Field , at 79,76

Weather in hex: Light cloud

Raid spotted at 15 NM, estimated altitude 7,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 4 minutes

Japanese aircraft
Ki-43-IIb Oscar x 18
Ki-48-IIa Lily x 3
Ki-49-IIa Helen x 18
Ki-51 Sonia x 18
Ki-61-Ia Tony x 3

Allied aircraft
Kittyhawk III x 6
A-36 Mustang x 4
P-40K Warhawk x 10
F4U-1 Corsair x 3

Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-49-IIa Helen: 1 destroyed, 3 damaged
Ki-51 Sonia: 1 damaged

Allied aircraft losses
F4U-1 Corsair: 1 destroyed

Airbase hits 8
Runway hits 9

Aircraft Attacking:
17 x Ki-49-IIa Helen bombing from 6000 feet
Airfield Attack: 4 x 250 kg GP Bomb
3 x Ki-48-IIa Lily bombing from 6000 feet *
Airfield Attack: 2 x 100 kg GP Bomb
18 x Ki-51 Sonia bombing from 6000 feet
Airfield Attack: 4 x 50 kg GP Bomb

CAP engaged:
VRF-5F with F4U-1 Corsair (3 airborne, 0 on standby, 0 scrambling)
3 plane(s) intercepting now.
Group patrol altitude is 17600 , scrambling fighters between 0 and 17600.
Raid is overhead
No.76 Sqn RAAF with Kittyhawk III (5 airborne, 0 on standby, 0 scrambling)
5 plane(s) intercepting now.
1 plane(s) not yet engaged, 0 being recalled, 0 out of immediate contact.
Group patrol altitude is 19580 , scrambling fighters between 8120 and 19580.
Time for all group planes to reach interception is 18 minutes
1 planes vectored on to bombers
18th FG/12th FS with A-36 Mustang (3 airborne, 0 on standby, 0 scrambling)
3 plane(s) intercepting now.
1 plane(s) not yet engaged, 0 being recalled, 0 out of immediate contact.
Group patrol altitude is 15100 , scrambling fighters between 6000 and 15100.
Time for all group planes to reach interception is 22 minutes
3 planes vectored on to bombers
35th FG/39th FS with P-40K Warhawk (3 airborne, 0 on standby, 0 scrambling)
3 plane(s) intercepting now.
Group patrol altitude is 19580 , scrambling fighters between 0 and 19580.
Raid is overhead
2 planes vectored on to bombers
18th FG/44th FS with P-40K Warhawk (2 airborne, 0 on standby, 0 scrambling)
2 plane(s) intercepting now.
5 plane(s) not yet engaged, 0 being recalled, 0 out of immediate contact.
Group patrol altitude is 19580 , scrambling fighters between 6000 and 11000.
Time for all group planes to reach interception is 61 minutes
4 planes vectored on to bombers



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Morning Air attack on Clark Field , at 79,76

Weather in hex: Light cloud

Raid spotted at 9 NM, estimated altitude 8,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 2 minutes

Japanese aircraft
Ki-21-IIa Sally x 6

Allied aircraft
Kittyhawk III x 5
A-36 Mustang x 3
P-40K Warhawk x 9
F4U-1 Corsair x 1

Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-21-IIa Sally: 3 destroyed, 2 damaged

No Allied losses

Aircraft Attacking:
2 x Ki-21-IIa Sally bombing from 6000 feet *
Airfield Attack: 2 x 250 kg GP Bomb

[RangerJoe]

You dilute your vodka with a tonic? Is it sick? Why not dilute it with grape juice, orange juice, or lemonade?

[Cap Mandrake]

So the dryer isn't working and everyone living her free of rent just puts the dryer on for 60 minutes to compensate. Madre de Dios! Am I the only one who paid attention in physics? The badly misnamed "utility room" would make a better bomb shelter if you just had some canned chile or freeze-dried strogonoff down there because the damned thing is about 15 ft underground and badly misnamed "dryer vent" has to climb about 15 ft and seems to have been designed by M C Escher because it make about five 90 degree turns on the way up.

The last time this happened, nobody seemed to know what was happening so I had to climb behind the dryer with a ladder and clean out the vent hose by myself. So I get about 2 lbs of wet lint and God know what out of the hose and go to bar dip myself out of the hole while making a grunting sound...and then I realize SG talked me into stands for the dryers so you don't have to bend down when loading the dryer...but the top is several inches above your shoulders so you can't "bar dip" yourself out unless you are under 25 ..plus there is a cabinet over my head. I'm f'ing stuck. I try to walk my feet up the wall but there is no room.

Everyone else was asleep in the house because I am the only one who gets up early on the weekends because everyone is a deadbeat. I consider my options...solve this like a man or scream for help. This is a difficult decision. I cry for help from the bomb shelter but nobody can hear. Plan B.

Mercifully, the staff has left a 12 inch pair of channel locks on the washer so I try to disconnect the hoses. There are 5 years of calcium deposits...no go. I squat down and consider my fate...that of a skeleton found behind a dryer. Here is the problem: the washer hose connections are on the right and the dryer vent on the left but SG has deviously asked the installers to put the washer on the left because it is "more natural" to move the washed closed from the left to the right. [:-] IT'S A TRAP! I squat down in despair again but a voice calls out.."You can DO IT, Fleet Admiral! Move the dryer!" I carefully walk the dryer out to the limits of the gas line...because...guess what..there is no valve. If I disconnect the thing I will die of something..asphixiation or crispy critter..I carefully squeeze myself out between the washer and dryer with my legs like Charlie Chaplin..and it was my chest not the belly that was tight before you say anything...then..it happens..I'M OUT!

AS GOD IS MY WITNESS, I WIL NEVER GET BEHND A DRYER AGAIN!

[RangerJoe]

Sweet Pea, my female cat, when she was maybe 5 months old was looking for a dark den (she still does this) and went into a closet in the old apartment where the electric hot water heater is located. She went into the tight corner and could not get herself out. I had to remove everything from the closet, tilt the hot water heater towards me and using my right foot to tap on the wall to get her out. I had to stuff things into the holes so she could not get back there again because she still wanted to go there! So at least you are smarter than a female cat!

BTW, to protect your household from fires, you should clean that thing out at least once a year. Have a younger and a more agile person do this - especially if they are living rent free. Otherwise, they can wash their own clothes somewhere else and dry them somewhere else.

PS: If they don't like that idea, don't forget to tell them that the toilet makes a nice dishwasher for their plates that they eat from. Have a different color/pattern for them and keep them somewhere else. Only use rubber gloves to handle them. [:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: RangerJoe

You dilute your vodka with a tonic? Is it sick? Why not dilute it with grape juice, orange juice, or lemonade?

Well, orange juice is for the morning. You know what is REALLY good is shots of ice cold vodka with chilled fresh-squeezed watermelon juice.

One time I went a drug-company junket to a bar at the top of the Staples Center where the Lakers play. It was so cool. Too bad Michael Moore ruined all of that.

Anyway, what you do is buy a handle of booze and then a bikini-clad hottie comes out and mixes it with whatever you want. So, a 750 ml bottle of Grey Goose is $400 but the watermelon juice is FREE!

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So the dryer isn't working and everyone living her free of rent just puts the dryer on for 60 minutes to compensate. Madre de Dios! Am I the only one who paid attention in physics? The badly misnamed "utility room" would make a better bomb shelter if you just had some canned chile or freeze-dried strogonoff down there because the damned thing is about 15 ft underground and badly misnamed "dryer vent" has to climb about 15 ft and seems to have been designed by M C Escher because it make about five 90 degree turns on the way up.

The last time this happened, nobody seemed to know what was happening so I had to climb behind the dryer with a ladder and clean out the vent hose by myself. So I get about 2 lbs of wet lint and God know what out of the hose and go to bar dip myself out of the hole while making a grunting sound...and then I realize SG talked me into stands for the dryers so you don't have to bend down when loading the dryer...but the top is several inches above your shoulders so you can't "bar dip" yourself out unless you are under 25 ..plus there is a cabinet over my head. I'm f'ing stuck. I try to walk my feet up the wall but there is no room.

Everyone else was asleep in the house because I am the only one who gets up early on the weekends because everyone is a deadbeat. I consider my options...solve this like a man or scream for help. This is a difficult decision. I cry for help from the bomb shelter but nobody can hear. Plan B.

Mercifully, the staff has left a 12 inch pair of channel locks on the washer so I try to disconnect the hoses. There are 5 years of calcium deposits...no go. I squat down and consider my fate...that of a skeleton found behind a dryer. Here is the problem: the washer hose connections are on the right and the dryer vent on the left but SG has deviously asked the installers to put the washer on the left because it is "more natural" to mover the washed closed from the left to the right. [:-] IT'S A TRAP! I squat down in despair again but a voice calls out.."You can DO IT, Fleet Admiral! Move the dryer!" I carefully walk the dryer out to the limits of the gas line...because...guess what..there is no valve. If I disconnect the thing I will die of something..asphixiation or crispy critter..I carefully squeeze myself out between the washer and dryer with my legs like Charlie Chaplin..and it was my chest not the belly that was tight before you say anything...then..it happens..I'M OUT!

AS GOD IS MY WITNESS, I WIL NEVER GET BEHND A DRYER AGAIN!

Yet another successful struggle to save a seemingly doomed WITP-AE unit! The game within the game continues - there will be more struggles ...

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: RangerJoe

You dilute your vodka with a tonic? Is it sick? Why not dilute it with grape juice, orange juice, or lemonade?

Well, orange juice is for the morning. You know what is REALLY good is shots of ice cold vodka with chilled fresh-squeezed watermelon juice.

One time I went a drug-company junket to a bar at the top of the Staples Center where the Lakers play. It was so cool. Too bad Michael Moore ruined all of that.

Anyway, what you do is buy a handle of booze and then a bikini-clad hottie comes out and mixes it with whatever you want. So, a 750 ml bottle of Grey Goose is $400 but the watermelon juice is FREE!

Could you ask her to mix you up a 'slippery nipple'? Bonus points for asking for this with a straight face.

[anarchyintheuk]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: RangerJoe

You dilute your vodka with a tonic? Is it sick? Why not dilute it with grape juice, orange juice, or lemonade?

Well, orange juice is for the morning. You know what is REALLY good is shots of ice cold vodka with chilled fresh-squeezed watermelon juice.

One time I went a drug-company junket to a bar at the top of the Staples Center where the Lakers play. It was so cool. Too bad Michael Moore ruined all of that.

Anyway, what you do is buy a handle of booze and then a bikini-clad hottie comes out and mixes it with whatever you want. So, a 750 ml bottle of Grey Goose is $400 but the watermelon juice is FREE!

Well, you've taken scurvy off the table. What works for scrofula and the vapors?

[Cap Mandrake]

********************May 15, 1943(e)*********

Another big attack at Clark, 2 days in a row. This attack is 1:2 with equal KIA's but 3x as any IJA disablements.

[Cap Mandrake]

*********************May 16, 1943(e)*************

PI: PT boats from Bataan sneak up on Jap tankers at Lingayen.

Night Time Surface Combat, near Lingayen at 79,75, Range 9,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
PB Toshi Maru #2, Shell hits 3
xAK Kusuyama Maru, Torpedo hits 2, and is sunk
xAK Chinkai Maru, Torpedo hits 2, and is sunk

Allied Ships
PT-111
PT-112
PT-113
PT-114

No way to rearm them so we just send the back to pool when the return to Bataan

[Cap Mandrake]

Allied planes begin to return to Bataan AF after the runway is partly patched but some staff idiot forget to increase the range to 1.

Morning Air attack on 51st PA Infantry Division, at 79,76 (Clark Field)

Weather in hex: Severe storms

Raid spotted at 36 NM, estimated altitude 11,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 10 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M5 Zero x 3
Ki-21-IIa Sally x 3
Ki-21-IIb Sally x 30
Ki-43-IIb Oscar x 30
Ki-48-IIa Lily x 4
Ki-49-IIa Helen x 8
Ki-51 Sonia x 18
Ki-61-Ia Tony x 5

Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-21-IIb Sally: 5 damaged
Ki-49-IIa Helen: 1 damaged
Ki-51 Sonia: 1 damaged

Allied ground losses:
46 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 5 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled

[Cap Mandrake]

Morning Air attack on 57th PS Infantry Regiment, at 79,76 (Clark Field)

Weather in hex: Severe storms

Raid spotted at 40 NM, estimated altitude 8,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 12 minutes

Japanese aircraft
Ki-49-IIa Helen x 19

Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-49-IIa Helen: 1 damaged

Allied ground losses:
14 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled

Aircraft Attacking:
19 x Ki-49-IIa Helen bombing from 6000 feet
Ground Attack: 4 x 250 kg GP Bomb



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Morning Air attack on 57th PS Infantry Regiment, at 79,76 (Clark Field)

Weather in hex: Severe storms

Raid spotted at 18 NM, estimated altitude 7,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 5 minutes

Japanese aircraft
Ki-21-IIb Sally x 18
Ki-43-IIb Oscar x 15
Ki-61-Ia Tony x 5

Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-21-IIb Sally: 5 damaged
Ki-21-IIb Sally: 1 destroyed by flak

Allied ground losses:
28 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled

Aircraft Attacking:
18 x Ki-21-IIb Sally bombing from 6000 feet *
Ground Attack: 2 x 250 kg GP Bomb



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Morning Air attack on 11th PA Infantry/C Division, at 79,76 (Clark Field)

Weather in hex: Severe storms

Raid spotted at 20 NM, estimated altitude 9,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 6 minutes

Japanese aircraft
Ki-43-IIb Oscar x 15
Ki-49-IIa Helen x 12
Ki-61-Ia Tony x 5

Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-49-IIa Helen: 5 damaged

Allied ground losses:
44 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 5 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled