At dawn we slept...in the cab on the way back from Olongapo

[Will_L]

ORIGINAL: RangerJoe

He should paint his house like this one.

Darn it, I told them not to give you my address! [;)]

[durnedwolf]

No round spots of dead grass; must not own a dog?

[capmandrake2]

Some chowderhead spilled coffee on my keyboard and then there was a pandemic caused by Winnie Xi Pooh and then my Israeli contractors flaked on me and then one of my neighbors complained about the contractors Port-a-Potty and asked if anyone had any Christmas lights for it so I made a sign that said "Kelly's Place--Free Drinks" and put Chicom Christmas lights on it so the biotch stopped complaining on social media but the HOA complained about the lights so I wrote a complaint letter to the HOA and got the entire HOA management company fired...well...they WERE fired but there may have been other reasons.

Then the county building inspector came in and demanded sensors on the new lights so now the lights go off if you take too long a shower but not much chance of that because the new Calif compliant shower heads have bushings to lower the flow rate to two gallons a day so you feel like you are on a Russian warship that needs a tow ship in the convoy and has low water pressure.

The inspector also demanded I replace all my wood casement windows. There are at least 36 large double windows and many custom sizes and then you have to repair the smooth stucco and repaint. I don't even want to THINK about the cost of that idiocy. My gas heating bill is $80 a month in the Winter with a gas dryer and stove and water heaters. Those guys are detached from reality.

[BBfanboy]

Good to see you back in your 195 page AAR in which you officially can claim 4 posts, cap! [:D]

One thing about windows I found out over the years - glass can get brittle from sun (presumably UV) so it is more prone to break from a minor bump. That was my only consolation when my dog used the rocking chair in front of the window to try and get a look at a dog going by outside! [:(] But the triple pane replacement window didn't sweat in winter like the former double pane did. [:)]

Yes, we rearranged the furniture thereafter.

[capmandrake2]

Well, I don't dislike the new high tech windows, I just can't afford putting 35 of them in right now. I used up my entire HELOC on the remodel.

I bought so many expensive bathroom vanities Wayfair gave me a special commercial ordering contact and number. I think I raised the GDP of Vietnam by 2% on my own.

[capmandrake2]

The Vietnamese make the most beautiful vanities...and there is no bamboo in sight either. I guess the trees started to grow back after the Agent Orange wore off.

[capmandrake2]

I made a nice map but I can't post yet because they don't trust me yet. [:)]

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: capmandrake2
they WERE fired but there may have been other reasons.

Inquiring minds want to know!

[witpqs]

BTW, welcome back to pseudo-earth, dude!

[capmandrake2]

ORIGINAL: witpqs

ORIGINAL: capmandrake2
they WERE fired but there may have been other reasons.

Inquiring minds want to know!

Well, this isn't the entire HOA board, this is just the outside HOA management company. My guess it was a performance issue. The Untergruppenfuhrer that said my plants were too brown just disappeared and they never took down her voice mail or email and nobody ever checked it either. They had a physical office but you had to slide stuff under the door because they never answered to the door either. [:D]

In fairness, telling people their plants are too brown is not a thankful job but they had a special passive-aggressive "customer service" approach. In an HOA this size there are probably 50 cranky sarcastic bastards like me. In fact, it would probably be a pretty fun club to join.

[witpqs]

You should find some bushes that are naturally brown and plant those.

[anarchyintheuk]

My life has purpose again.

[witpqs]

You found some brown bushes?

[anarchyintheuk]

If not horticulture, then this aar.

[capmandrake2]

*************Behind the Gates Get Off My Grass Social Club and Covert Action Society*******


Fleet Admiral Mandrake: I'm Fleet Admiral Mandrake and I hate all the f****** corksoakers at the HOA with every fiber of my soul.

Crowd consisting of 12 crusty old bastards and 1 burnt out Sea Hag: WELCOME MANDRAKE!

[capmandrake2]

************Behind the Gates Get Off My Grass Social Club and Covert Action Society*******

Fleet Admiral Mandrake: Some time back, I paid the bloody bastards $50 to approve my roof remodel and do you know the corksoakers denied it because it was too "flammable"?

Society Members: OHHHH NOOO!

Fleet Admiral Mandrake: So what do I do? <looks slowly from left to right around the room to enhance tension> I appeal!

Society Members: THAT's TROUBLE! TROUBLE RIGHT HERE IN RIVER CITY!

Fleet Admiral Mandrake: So do you know what I do? <late on period pause> I provide evidence the new roofing material is Class A fire rated. And what do they do? <pregnant pause> I 'll tell you what they do.......they tell me it is REJECTED ON A(E)STHETIC GROUNDS!

Society Members: <the entire crowd rises indignation> TO THE BATTLEMENTS!

[RangerJoe]

ORIGINAL: capmandrake2

Some chowderhead spilled coffee on my keyboard and then there was a pandemic caused by Winnie Xi Pooh and then my Israeli contractors flaked on me and then one of my neighbors complained about the contractors Port-a-Potty and asked if anyone had any Christmas lights for it so I made a sign that said "Kelly's Place--Free Drinks" and put Chicom Christmas lights on it so the biotch stopped complaining on social media but the HOA complained about the lights so I wrote a complaint letter to the HOA and got the entire HOA management company fired...well...they WERE fired but there may have been other reasons.

Then the county building inspector came in and demanded sensors on the new lights so now the lights go off if you take too long a shower but not much chance of that because the new Calif compliant shower heads have bushings to lower the flow rate to two gallons a day so you feel like you are on a Russian warship that needs a tow ship in the convoy and has low water pressure.

The inspector also demanded I replace all my wood casement windows. There are at least 36 large double windows and many custom sizes and then you have to repair the smooth stucco and repaint. I don't even want to THINK about the cost of that idiocy. My gas heating bill is $80 a month in the Winter with a gas dryer and stove and water heaters. Those guys are detached from reality.

I am sure that you can get someone to send you some good showerheads . . .

[capmandrake2]

ORIGINAL: RangerJoe

ORIGINAL: capmandrake2

Some chowderhead spilled coffee on my keyboard and then there was a pandemic caused by Winnie Xi Pooh and then my Israeli contractors flaked on me and then one of my neighbors complained about the contractors Port-a-Potty and asked if anyone had any Christmas lights for it so I made a sign that said "Kelly's Place--Free Drinks" and put Chicom Christmas lights on it so the biotch stopped complaining on social media but the HOA complained about the lights so I wrote a complaint letter to the HOA and got the entire HOA management company fired...well...they WERE fired but there may have been other reasons.

Then the county building inspector came in and demanded sensors on the new lights so now the lights go off if you take too long a shower but not much chance of that because the new Calif compliant shower heads have bushings to lower the flow rate to two gallons a day so you feel like you are on a Russian warship that needs a tow ship in the convoy and has low water pressure.

The inspector also demanded I replace all my wood casement windows. There are at least 36 large double windows and many custom sizes and then you have to repair the smooth stucco and repaint. I don't even want to THINK about the cost of that idiocy. My gas heating bill is $80 a month in the Winter with a gas dryer and stove and water heaters. Those guys are detached from reality.

I am sure that you can get someone to send you some good showerheads . . .

Yes, that is the (partial) solution. The problem is the mixer valves also have flow restrictions.

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: capmandrake2

ORIGINAL: RangerJoe

ORIGINAL: capmandrake2

Some chowderhead spilled coffee on my keyboard and then there was a pandemic caused by Winnie Xi Pooh and then my Israeli contractors flaked on me and then one of my neighbors complained about the contractors Port-a-Potty and asked if anyone had any Christmas lights for it so I made a sign that said "Kelly's Place--Free Drinks" and put Chicom Christmas lights on it so the biotch stopped complaining on social media but the HOA complained about the lights so I wrote a complaint letter to the HOA and got the entire HOA management company fired...well...they WERE fired but there may have been other reasons.

Then the county building inspector came in and demanded sensors on the new lights so now the lights go off if you take too long a shower but not much chance of that because the new Calif compliant shower heads have bushings to lower the flow rate to two gallons a day so you feel like you are on a Russian warship that needs a tow ship in the convoy and has low water pressure.

The inspector also demanded I replace all my wood casement windows. There are at least 36 large double windows and many custom sizes and then you have to repair the smooth stucco and repaint. I don't even want to THINK about the cost of that idiocy. My gas heating bill is $80 a month in the Winter with a gas dryer and stove and water heaters. Those guys are detached from reality.

I am sure that you can get someone to send you some good showerheads . . .

Yes, that is the (partial) solution. The problem is the mixer valves also have flow restrictions.

Oooo - sounds like a prostate removal is needed ...

[capmandrake2]

I remember one time in college I went into the men's room at the administration building and I'm in there to take a leak and I am surrounded by a bunch of big shot senior faculty standing at urinals who must have just got out of meeting or something...and it sounds like Mozart's Horn Concerto powered by methane and hydrogen sulfide. Trombone section and then tubas and then the French horn solo...[:D]

The poor bastards all needed a roto-rooter and here I am an 18 year old who could probably reach low earth orbit with a couple of beers and the right trajectory and it was everything I could do to not laugh at loud.

I'm sure they were thinking "Smug asshole, we should stop admitting kids with autism"