Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[Cap Mandrake]

*************Nov 21, 1942(c), Bali Hai Dance Club, Perth************


RN Officer (please subsitute whatever defamatory or mocking jackspeak term would be appropriate here): <stands on bar stool> LADS! LADS! May I have your attention please? Thank you. Right, here is the matter. We are looking for merchantmen crew to volunteer for a supply run to Port Hedland. It is a matter of great importance to our lads fighting there. I am sure I don't have to remind you of that. Now, we estimate there will be a soupcon of risk, but that is why we are asking for volunteers. What say you all? <quiet...even the music has stopped> Anyone? Well then, I am authorised to procure TWO free drinks for any man who will volunteer! <a roar rises immediatley and there is a great rush of men toward the bar>. THERE IS THE FIGHTING SPIRIT LADS!

[BrucePowers]

So how's the 32nd....?

[sprior]

[quote]THERE IS THE FIGHTING SPIRIT LADS! [/quote

Tots all round!*

*Not small children

[sprior]

[quote]THERE IS THE FIGHTING SPIRIT LADS! [/quote


Tots all round!*

*Not small children

[sprior]

I can't type now, I knew that bottle of Chateau de Chassallay was a good idea.

[BrucePowers]

[:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

THERE IS THE FIGHTING SPIRIT LADS! [/quote


Tots all round!*

*Not small children

Well, here is the good news. You may have had trouble typing but you DID NOT have double vision. You really did post this twice. That is why you saw two copies. You also managed somewow to get your signature pic inside the quote box[:)]

[vicberg]

Mandrake, you are missing your calling.  Take all of these 200,000 (OMG) posts and write a book.  "From the Bali Hai Dance Club, An Alternative History of WWII."  It would be a best seller.  Absolutely hilarious reading.  I know you are already writing a book, I believe.  But I think I read that somewhere 100,000 posts ago.  Sorry if I don't go back through them

[perkinh]

ORIGINAL: zuluhour

ignore the boobs in the corner

Is that a Lucky Strike in her left hand?

Dang...Hot, a smoker, and i bet there is a tramp stamp somewhere.

[moore4807]

Hmm, after careful review...ahem I must conclude that the right hand (note- clubbing aound thumb)is NOT hers therefore the left hand would also belong to a Marty Feldman type hiding behind her and her hands therefore must be suitably engaged behind her...maybe even manacled? [:D][;)][:D]

[sprior]

after careful review

Nope, still haven't seen any hands.

[sprior]

almost hilarious reading

There, fixed it for you.

[sprior]

21st Nov 1942

No attacks at PH today. Good-oh!

[BrucePowers]

Are your fingernails getting shorter due to all the hanging on?

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

21st Nov 1942

No attacks at PH today. Good-oh!

Yes. They will need to rest after the 600 disrutpions in air attacks on the 20th and the 3800 casualties in their ground attack of the same day.

Yamato is standing by to pound our boys and they are hitting us with Betty raids. Curiously, except for the two piddling night raids, not one single combat sortie was flown by our air boys over PH today. I think they were called off because of the Tojos. I am thinking we may need to put a couple of BB's at risk to shut down the airfield again. I will try some more night raids tonight and maybe a commander susbstitution and switching the P-38's to escort.

[Cap Mandrake]

I was thinking about this. I wonder if the fact that we have no retreat route is the reason our units withstood a 3:1 attack without retreating.

[Alfred]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I was thinking about this. I wonder if the fact that we have no retreat route is the reason our units withstood a 3:1 attack without retreating.

A bit more complicated. Page 197 of the manual deals with retreats. I understand you are time poor and therefore rarely have time to peruse the manual, so I'll quote verbatim a reslevant section.

"If a unit is (sic) tries to retreat, but cannot, it will be checked for elimination. Many factors are checked including morale, fatigue, experience, leadership, and terrain (for atolls). Troops on atolls will be eliminated if put in conditions that would require retreat in other terrain. Once elimination is triggered, if the defender is Allied, the force will surrender...."

Ok I lied about verbatim when I added (sic) but I swear the rest is ... well except for the ellipse at the end too.

Alfred

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I was thinking about this.

Wow. I mean wow. Just blown away by this. [X(]

Lord Admiral-are you OK with this novel development?

[Cap Mandrake]

Advice of Counsel: Someone asked about the absence of "fart jokes". This is quite an astute observation. There seemed to be quite a lot of that in WWII(b)(1), but, as noted, they have been largely absent from this "After Action Report" (hereafter referred to as "AAR"). This has been purposeful. In light of the possible passage of the Internet Copyright Act, which may include some retroactivity language, I have advised my clients to refrain from the use of such jokes. A recent discovery of looted material from the Baghdad Museum has yielded a "Writ of Mirth" from one Mordecai of Ur from 4236 BC.

"The bearer claims all rights to the use of wind of man and beast, to include it's musical note, objectionable essence, making of flame or silent but deadly habit, in all matters of mirthmaking until the end times."

This very comprehensive claim, if provenance is proven, would open up innumerable opportunites for litigation. On the basis of Y chromosome studies, there may be as many as 150,000,000 direct descendants of Mordecai of Ur, who is said to have been something of a brigand and philanderer.


I. Dunn Cheatham III, Esq/

* An example of prohibited material from WWII(b)

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Alfred

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I was thinking about this. I wonder if the fact that we have no retreat route is the reason our units withstood a 3:1 attack without retreating.

A bit more complicated. Page 197 of the manual deals with retreats. I understand you are time poor and therefore rarely have time to peruse the manual, so I'll quote verbatim a reslevant section.

"If a unit is (sic) tries to retreat, but cannot, it will be checked for elimination. Many factors are checked including morale, fatigue, experience, leadership, and terrain (for atolls). Troops on atolls will be eliminated if put in conditions that would require retreat in other terrain. Once elimination is triggered, if the defender is Allied, the force will surrender...."

Ok I lied about verbatim when I added (sic) but I swear the rest is ... well except for the ellipse at the end too.

Alfred

There you have it! Sir Alfred, Knight of the Kentishmen and official scribe and barrister to King Arthur himself, has spaken.* It is all the Parchisi sets and pin-up pitcures of Miss Grable that keep our boys going.


* It might properly be "hath doth spaken" or maybe "doth hath spake" or even "done spake". I'm not really sure but you get the point.