Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[Walloc]

ORIGINAL: witpqs
Why is she talking to her ex?

A possible clue.... [:D]

Gratz on making post number 7500!

[khyberbill]

I had no idea there were so many kindred souls on the subject of dihydrogen monoxide, the dioxin of our generation.

Here is a clip from Penn and Teller to get dihydrogen monoxide banned.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xi1LU45Nip0

[sprior]

I now realize real life is different from the internet.

Yes, in real life all the females are mostly dressed.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

I now realize real life is different from the internet.

Yes, in real life all the females are mostly dressed.

Oh sure, I suppose you want us to believe you never had Kate Upton come over to your house and dance around in a skimpy bikini?

[sprior]

Who said she had a bikini on?

[Chickenboy]

[X(] The Englishman finished a sentence with a preposition! [X(]

[sprior]

Okay -

Who said she was wearing a bikini?

or

Who said she had on a bikini?

[sprior]

It's that time in her life when every girl must choose a carrer so I took the DU to the armed forces careers office:

First Question: Army, Navy or Air Force?
DU: Navy of course! (That's my girl)
Second Question: Can you swim?
DU: Don't you provide ships?

[Cap Mandrake]

This is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I will not put.*





* Attributed to Sir Winston...the truth which there is some doubt of

[sprior]

Sir Winston Rubbnot?

[Cap Mandrake]

The Apache wanted 51% ownership of a new casino in Tucson and they wanted the codeword for OBL in the Seal Team 6 op changed from "Geronimo" to "Custer" in exchange for Admirar Rord Nerson. We found these demands too great so Admirar Rord Fabertong is going to do the rest of the turn after he gets back from a midnight performance of Rocky Horror Picture Show.

After a few days, we anticipate the ransom demands for the Admirar will moderate.

[sprior]

Poster in Pilots' Briefing Room on Irrustrious:

Simple rules for the Fleet Air Arm



1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is,
unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.

5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can
actually watch the pilot start sweating.

7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.

8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the
plane again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.

11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small
probability of survival and vice versa.

12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the
opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.

15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience
before you empty the bag of luck.

17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.

18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion
coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.

20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.

22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to appeal.

24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

It's that time in her life when every girl must choose a carrer so I took the DU to the armed forces careers office:

First Question: Army, Navy or Air Force?
DU: Navy of course! (That's my girl)
Second Question: Can you swim?
DU: Don't you provide ships?

There's a stout-hearted lass. Is it bad form to outwit the recruiter?

[sprior]

I think she's decided nursing is more her thing.

[sprior]

Real Story:

Missile Compartment, HMS Resolution, somewhere at sea

MC Patrol: Chief, what's a pun?
Me (MC Supervisor): A pun is a play on words
MC Patrol: Don't all plays have words?

[Cap Mandrake]

My cousin was a USAF nurse. I think she retired in her early-mid 40's as a Major after 20 years. Hasn't worked since. Not married either. No kids. As I recall she played kinda rough as a kid and liked pants. Not sure why I mentioned that but there you have it. I think RN's automatically get a commission.

Her dad had been a Colonel in the USAF and was at the Bravo test as an engineer. Man that guy loved to drink.

Do you think this is enough filler? Maybe Admirar Rord Fabertong is back from Rocky Horror, has his make-up off and is working on the turn?

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Sir Winston Rubbnot?

Didn't he go to St. Custard's?

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Okay -

Who said she was wearing a bikini?

or

Who said she had on a bikini?

or

She is from Bikini and wears nada.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Real Story:

Missile Compartment, HMS Resolution, somewhere at sea

MC Patrol: Chief, what's a pun?
Me (MC Supervisor): A pun is a play on words
MC Patrol: Don't all plays have words?

But you kept the launch key when you went to the head and such....right? You didn't let Mr. Patrol have it, did you?

[Cap Mandrake]

LYB air losses through the end of 42 (almost). Their stubborn stand is costing airframes. Seems like many more losses on the ground than necessary. The ground seems to be the only place to kill a Nick.