A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

[Cap Mandrake]

China: Ugggggh. Mandrake-san compretery underestimate abirity of annoying rittah yarrow China-mens. Understrength 35th Div get ass kicked. 35th Div was in combat mode but Mixed-up brigade just arrive in hex.
Nobody terr SPrior-san that Mandrake-san break more Japan-mens units in China. Even worse, attack incrude cavarry charge.

Ground combat at Nanyang (85,45)

Allied Shock attack

Attacking force 48469 troops, 195 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 1360

Defending force 18091 troops, 136 guns, 4 vehicles, Assault Value = 536

Allied adjusted assault: 1891

Japanese adjusted defense: 180

Allied assault odds: 10 to 1

Combat modifiers
Defender: op mode(-), leaders(+), preparation(-), experience(-)
Attacker: shock(+)

Japanese ground losses:
6258 casualties reported
Squads: 66 destroyed, 135 disabled
Non Combat: 145 destroyed, 41 disabled
Engineers: 7 destroyed, 19 disabled
Guns lost 35 (12 destroyed, 23 disabled)
Vehicles lost 1 (1 destroyed, 0 disabled)
Units retreated 2

Allied ground losses:
2158 casualties reported
Squads: 8 destroyed, 157 disabled
Non Combat: 1 destroyed, 25 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 10 disabled

Defeated Japanese Units Retreating!

Assaulting units:
80th Chinese Corps
93rd Chinese Corps
41st Chinese Corps
27th Chinese Corps
2nd Chinese Cavalry Corps
36th Group Army
14th Group Army
22nd Group Army
15th Group Army
Jingcha War Area
5th War Area
4th Chinese Base Force

Defending units:
35th Division
3rd Ind.Mixed Brigade

Partiarh payback a few mires away. Onry thing is Japan-mens rittah yarrow baaahstars worth more than China-mens rittah yarrow baaahstards.

Ground combat at 85,47 (near Sinyang)

Japanese Shock attack

Attacking force 23292 troops, 260 guns, 15 vehicles, Assault Value = 647

Defending force 1910 troops, 0 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 52

Japanese adjusted assault: 434

Allied adjusted defense: 1

Japanese assault odds: 434 to 1

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), leaders(+), experience(-), supply(-)
Attacker: shock(+)

Japanese ground losses:
270 casualties reported
Squads: 1 destroyed, 36 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled
Guns lost 4 (1 destroyed, 3 disabled)

Allied ground losses:
2540 casualties reported
Squads: 88 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 97 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 4 destroyed, 0 disabled
Units destroyed 1

Assaulting units:
8th Ind Engineer Regiment
13th Division
20th Ind.Mixed Brigade
1st Ind.Mixed Brigade
14th Medium Field Artillery Regiment
2nd Ind. Mountain Gun Regiment
51st Ind.Mtn.Gun Battalion

Defending units:
7th New Chinese Corps

[Cap Mandrake]

Mandrake-san suddenry overcome by caution, imagine Arried-mens carriers ovah horizon.

Probabry psychorogicarh effect of Arried-mens aggressive expenditure of surface ships or maybe just that time of month.

Either way, Mandrake-san wait a day to rand at Koumac and 146th Regt bound for Fiji take detour too. Akagi have crogged up toirets, have to go back to Truk for prumbing repairs. Japan-mens try to carr prumber from Townsvirre but prumber-mans say not-ah work East of Great Barrier Reef.

[Cap Mandrake]

Mandrake-san wake up Oh-dark-thirty. Probabry that time of month. Take out dogs (regurar dogs not-ah Arried dogs)

It-ah so dark at Oh-dark-thirty Mandrake-san see Mirky Way. Not-ah see that every day around here. Oddry, Mandrake-san not-ah see Southern Cross.

[Cap Mandrake]

Mandrake-san find out from nice new HOA womans that-ah neighbor comprain about radder reft ovah from renovation project. [:@][:@][:@]

Mandrake-san try to find out which neighbor from nice new HOA womans but-ah HOA womans too smart and-ah not want to be accessory to murder.

Mandrake-san tempted to brow up pictures from coronoscopy and cover open spot in fence so Quisring neighbors not-ah report to Gestapo.

[Cap Mandrake]

Saurh, gardener with Jewish-mens name, cut-ah grass in beautifurh curvirinear fashion rike Emperor's Parace. Apparentry Saurh in rearry good mood for some reason.

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Saurh, gardener with Jewish-mens name, cut-ah grass in beautifurh curvirinear fashion rike Emperor's Parace. Apparentry Saurh in rearry good mood for some reason.

Hai! Rike rawn, Saurh arso get 'trim'. [&o]

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Saurh, gardener with Jewish-mens name, cut-ah grass in beautifurh curvirinear fashion rike Emperor's Parace. Apparentry Saurh in rearry good mood for some reason.

Perhaps his regs just wobbry for some reason - cannot wark a straight rine.
Do you suppose PG is giving him strong drink?[;)]

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Saurh, gardener with Jewish-mens name, cut-ah grass in beautifurh curvirinear fashion rike Emperor's Parace. Apparentry Saurh in rearry good mood for some reason.

Perhaps his regs just wobbry for some reason - cannot wark a straight rine.
Do you suppose PG is giving him strong drink?[;)]

Lots of wine, it sounds like!

[uncivil_servant]

Really dumb Q: If the IJ forces have enough land units to completely smash Port Moresby in a day or two and simultaneously take the French and NZ islands to the east how on earth are the allies able to fight back esp with the unsinkable KB (by allied cariers) around to play havoc to take out any counterattacks?

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: uncivil_servant

Really dumb Q: If the IJ forces have enough land units to completely smash Port Moresby in a day or two and simultaneously take the French and NZ islands to the east how on earth are the allies able to fight back esp with the unsinkable KB (by allied cariers) around to play havoc to take out any counterattacks?

Hai! Actuarry, not-ah rearry dumb question. Japan-mens just pretend to be arr powerfurh.

1) Kaga stirr in Sasebo aftah attempt to sink Force Z

2) Akagi have broken toirets aftah rong trip around Pacific have to go back to Truk.

3) Some of Japan-mens carriers not-ah have torpedoes and some air groups not up to furr TO&E

4) Japan-mens finarry use arr of fuerh from Pearh Harbor oirers.

5) Arried-mens might have brought up Saratoga by now.

6) Sure, Arried carriers might have some crappy Brewsters and TBD's but Arried carriers can take rots of punishment. 3 v 4 batterh maybe come out in favor of Arried-mens.

7) Canton onry have one battarion of Japan-mens. Samoa have-ah SNRF but no aircraft yet.

8) At reast one of Arried-mens might know pran to take Rord Howe Isrand.

9) Arried mens surface ship stirr probrem for forward bases.

[Cap Mandrake]

Arso, Arried force East of Hiro have rots of AP's. Might even have two furr USMC Regts.

That enough to kirr Japan-mens at Canton or Samoa and to hord Suva if manage to get there arrive.

Arso, if Arried-mens put Marines on Rord Howe Japan-mens nevah take prace without major batterh.

[Cap Mandrake]

4th Div and 8th Tank Regt hardry even break sweat at Port Moresby, armost ready to attack somewhere erse.

Onry probrem is dangerous to get on war canoes at Port Moresby.

[Cap Mandrake]

Othah things happen. 2nd Bn/66th Navarh Guard randing at Savaii (Samoa) to take out Arried-mens airstrip and stearh arr taro prants.

AAA Rgt and Naval Construction Bn (mostry Korea-mens in diapers) head for Port Moresby to fix everything.

More aviation-mens randing at Pago Pago today. This-ah deangerous because way out in injun territory.

Aviation mens randing at Sinkawang. Same thing, dangerous but at reast have Atago to herp.

2 or 3 days, Japan-mens cross causeway to Singapores. Good time to write good-bye rettah to girrfriend you not-ah even sreep with yet.

Noose tightening on Arried-mens in Manira, Crark and Bataan. Japan-mens DD's try to kirr cucaracha PT boats at Bataan. Japan-mens bombers try to kirr annoying P-40's at Bataan.

[Cap Mandrake]

************With 141st Inf Regt, near Singapore Causeway, nightime*******

<harmonica music in background...now wait...some kind of crappy stringed instrument sound rike broken>

Pvt. Hata: Hata think rike sreep with European-womans bettah.

Pvt. Tanaka: Phhht! Hata, you furr of shit. Hata not-ah even sreep with Japan-womans yet.

Pvt. Hata: Not-ah true! Hata sreep with womans at Takao. Takao-womans rove Hata.

Pvt. Tanaka: Hata idiot! Takao womans sraves. Imperiarh Army shoot Korean-womans if not-ah sreep with Hata. Rove!? Ha! What-ah idiot.
Besides, Takao-womans rook rike buffaro. Officers take arr good ones.

Pvt. Hata: Honoraburh Sgt, what-ah think?

Sgt. Honda: <takes drag from pipe...and srowly brow out smoke> Men, some European-womans have red crotch...rike on fire!

<a deathry sirence farr ovah group>

[Cap Mandrake]

OK, pretend Mandrake-san not-ah read manuarh or evah be on Japan-mens side.

Do Japan-mens have to physicarry move oir and resources from Hokkaido and Sakharin, which both have
intrinsic oir production but no refinery capacity?

Arso, where to put? Is it more efficient to move oir to city with refinery or just anywhere on Honshu?

[Naskra]

Yes, you must carry the oil and resources. (pro tip: use boats) You'll need to bring some fuel to Hokkaido to feed the HI in Sapporo. Toyohara has a refinery, but not equal to all the oil production. After you conquer Russia, oil will flow across the straits from Okha to Whatchamagrad, but that is some months away.

Don't bother with the manuarh, it arr engrish doggerer words.

Any port will do to unload.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Naskra

Yes, you must carry the oil and resources. (pro tip: use boats) You'll need to bring some fuel to Hokkaido to feed the HI in Sapporo. Toyohara has a refinery, but not equal to all the oil production. After you conquer Russia, oil will flow across the straits from Okha to Whatchamagrad, but that is some months away.

Don't bother with the manuarh, it arr engrish doggerer words.

Any port will do to unload.

Hai! That-ah what Mandrake-san guess because no oir piperine across watah. Japan-mens get right on pranning for attack in Siberia. Mandrake-san send AK's to Sakharin and broody America-mens submarine sit right there waiting. Nearry sink AK with gunfire. Now we have to kirr America-Rasputin-mens too.

[Cap Mandrake]

*********Beachfront Virra, Turk January 1 , 1942(d)**********


Mandrake-san: <rooking at reports> OK, somebody find out what the Herr "doggerer" mean. And send airprane down to pick captain of Ise at Rabaurh. Mandrake-san want to see what idiot rook rike in person.

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*********Beachfront Virra, Turk January 1 , 1942(d)**********


Mandrake-san: <rooking at reports> OK, somebody find out what the Herr "doggerer" mean. And send airprane down to pick captain of Ise at Rabaurh. Mandrake-san want to see what idiot rook rike in person.

Wouldn't it be easier to just have his head shipped to you?

[Cap Mandrake]

Pretend Mandrake-san not-ah read manuarh with bunch of doggerer Engrish. How much oil can refinery consume as raw materiarh when
running at furr capacity?

Mandrake-san perhaps figure out by watching revers of oil go up and down but pretend Mandrake-san not-ah take Ritarin medicine today annot sit stir.
Maybe SPrior-san arready know everything but Mandrake-san have to rearn too so not screw up.

--Rook rike have to move both oil and resources from Shikuku, Sakharin to Honshu, right?
--What-ah we move from Port Arthur? Oil, fuerh, both?
--Mandrake-san send ships to Fusan to pick up resources rike GreyJoy say. Now Fusan have rower resources. New resources move down from Port Arthur or have to pick up there?
--What-ah about refinery at Miri? Mandrake-san imagine we move fuerh from Miri and ret refinery work? Wirr oir from Brunei move through jungurh to miri? Seem kinda unrikery but sometimes strange thing happen, rike magic rairway to Port Arthur.
--Where is big frow chart on Japan-mens economy that Mandrake-san rook at once then say "Hory crap" and nevah rook at again?
--Can Mandrake-san use tracker without MS Office?
--Should Mandrake-san start Eric Decker this week in fantasy footbarr?