A white-haired man walks slowly to the mailbox. There are 4 pieces of mail, all routine save for the last, which is a well-traveled envelope with a return address that says, "Bal Hai Club, 69 Fremantle St., Perth, Australia".
He sets his jaw and looks at the horizon. After a moment, he tears the letter to shreds.
***************Employee Meeting, Bali Hai Club, Perth, Jan 17, 1943(c)**************
Man in fine linen slacks:....Right, so next Wednesday we push off for Darwin..train to Townsville, then a drive to Normanton, then a boat. Travel expenses on me and the Jap subs have moved off to the North..as I am told <he winks at Yossarian>. Darwin is a nice town. Lots of Marines. They drink a lot and tip well. I have already made the appropriate liason with the Shore Patrol. Idi, I think you will be fine, Darwin is actually owned by the US now. Any questions? Ok...that's all I got. Let's knock 'em dead tonight. <the group begins to disperse>
Wait, Yossarian, you crazy SOB, help me tape up this shipment. <they begin to work on some boxes>
Hirsute man: <takes out a book of which there are hundreds of copies> "What Do the Norse Gods Mean to You; A Beginner's Guide" by Thor Heyerdahl. "Thor", you gotta be kidding? Who buys this crap?
Man in fine linen slacks: You would be surprised Yossarian, you culturally insular clod. <he pastes a large shipping label on one of the boxes. It reads "Amazon Booksellers, a Division of M&M Enterprises">
Hirsute man: Say, Milo, I need your advice.
Man in fine linen slacks: Fire away, amigo.
Hirsute man: Well, it's my pops. He won't return my letters.
Man in fine linen slacks: He thinks your dead, you crazy SOB.
Hirsute man: Yes, but I'm not dead.
Man in fine linen slacks: Ergo this conversation. You know, there are certain fringe benefits to be being dead. The Army can't throw you in Leavenworth. It would be double jeopardy. Hey, why do't you just go back and see him. You can't be AWOL, you are dead. I'll give you a sabatical.
Hirsute man: Yeah, I thought about that, but it's his ticker. I'm afraid it will kill him.
Man in fine linen slacks: Yossarian, what did you say the family priest's name was? In Gilroy, I mean.
Gorong: Yeah, I don't know where that is either. Ceres was supposed to be covering the landing of engineers at Boela. Fortuantely, part of the carrier CAP was overhead.
I wonder if one of these Betty jockeys was that guy in the cartoon. Not a very good job of "avenging", was it?
Morning Air attack on TF, near Gorong at 81,112
Weather in hex: Clear sky
Raid detected at 36 NM, estimated altitude 10,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 12 minutes
Japanese aircraft
G4M1 Betty x 13
Allied aircraft
Martlet II x 1
F4F-4 Wildcat x 13
Japanese aircraft losses
G4M1 Betty: 7 destroyed, 1 damaged
Port Headrand: Another milk run for the Bollingbrokes. No attack on Amiral Lord SPrior's cruiser force either. Like he said, "We raugh at them! <spits on ground>"
Morning Air attack on Port Hedland , at 57,129
Weather in hex: Heavy cloud
Raid detected at 34 NM, estimated altitude 8,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 11 minutes
Allied aircraft
Beaufort V x 27
Beaufort VIII x 19
Bolingbroke IV x 11
B-25C Mitchell x 50
B-26 Marauder x 6
B-26B Marauder x 14
Katherine/Darwin Corridor: The road is now open and both Katherine and Daly are drawing suppries. JJ 20th Div is being destroyed. We keep telliing them they should give up but it's the Kool-aide thing.
Ground combat at 75,127 (near Katherine)
Allied Shock attack
Attacking force 5898 troops, 63 guns, 406 vehicles, Assault Value = 493
Defending force 1251 troops, 21 guns, 13 vehicles, Assault Value = 19
Boela: Mopping up. Honestly, there is really no need for the Koreans to throw themselves off the cliff like this. They could just surrender and then move to LA in '46 and open up a liquor store. The Naval Guard boys would never get visas, of course. They would have to go to Tijuana and try to get across there. Plenty of gardening opportunities in 1950's LA suburbia, though. I wish they would look at the bigger picture. We don't hav any fish head soup but some fried spam would probably do them good.
Ground combat at Boela (80,110)
Allied Deliberate attack
Attacking force 305 troops, 12 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 27
Defending force 422 troops, 0 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 2
My first wife's grandfather used to own a nice little place in Santa Monica with a nice back yard. He worked as a bellman and then a security guard at Warner Bros and he owned a half-million dollar house free and clear in Santa Monica. He used to complain about his real estate taxes...$280 dollars a year! [X(][:@] Great guy, though. [:)]
He had a Japanese gardener who was just as old. This was long after the boys from Morelia had replaced 99.99% of the Japanese gardeners.
They were like an old married couple. Funny as Hell. They argued about the garden every time Mr. Matsumoto came to do the yard. That's how they addressed each other, Mr. Matsumoto and Mr. XXXXXXX. [:)]One time, my grandfather-in-law trimmed the beautiful old Camelia bush on his own. This thing was about 12 ft tall and would produce hundreds of flawless white blossoms every February. Every leaf was a rich dark green. I don't think a leaf ever fell off the thing. It was like the freakin' slow movement of the Pastoral Symphony. It could bring tears to your eyes it was so beautiful.
When Mr. Matsumoto found out. Hory Crap! Shita hitta fan!
"Mr. XXXXXXXX! Why you cut brossoms? Rook what you do to Cameria!"
