Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: sprior

there is something to be said for being able to order out for pizza.

Especially if you've been treated to food prepared by RN cooks.

So every meal is not a banquet? [X(]

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

OK...I get it. It was my niece that added her as a freind. Santa Maria! That was crose one.

Good one! Now you have a cover story.

"No Honey, I went to Hooters because my niece's friend needs a letter of reference for college."

...

"Humanitarian? Yeah, that's it, Honey. Humanitarian!"

[Cap Mandrake]

Pen and watercolor picture of HMS Warspite I did a while back (in WWII(a), I think). An imagined night battle around Soerabaja. Beautiful ship. I think I lost the full size original. Too bad.


Alas she is no longer with us in WWII(c)

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: witpqs

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

OK...I get it. It was my niece that added her as a freind. Santa Maria! That was crose one.

Good one! Now you have a cover story.

"No Honey, I went to Hooters because my niece's friend needs a letter of reference for college."

...

"Humanitarian? Yeah, that's it, Honey. Humanitarian!"

The picture that accompanies the notification is quite impressive. Maybe she needs an employment physical...err..never mind.


This reminds me of a story. I may have told it before but the dementia is getting a bit denser so I am not really sure.

I was supposed to play in this golf tournament and drinking weekend with my brothers alcohol-swilling friends. I had to no-show but my next younger brother shows up late for the golf so he takes my badge which says "Dr. Mandrake". He grabs a golf cart, a six pack and heads off to catch up. When he gets to the 9th hole there is food (sort of) and a really attractive stripper in a bikini. He is not exactly timid so in a bout 20 seconds he is talking to the stripper and after a few seconds of small talk he complements her ample bosom.

Stripper: Are you a doctor?

Mandrake Sib: Why yes, I'm a plastic surgeon.

Stripper: Oh, do you know Dr Zzyzzx? He did my surgery.

Mandrake Sib: Yes, of course, he's in my call group. What approach did he use?

Stripper: He put them in through my arm pits. <she raises he arm and shows a tiny scar>

Mandrake Sib: Fantastic! I must complement him. Do you mind if I examine you?

Stripper: Sure, Dr. Mandrake! < she flips up her bikini top to reveal a gravity defying pair>

Mandrake Sib: <at this point even he is taken aback but he plays through and begins "examining"> ummmhmmm, yes, very nice. No scarring. Great outcome.

<Finally, one of the other golfers and announces loudly>

"Mandrake, you liar, you are an architect."

The young lady flips her top down and slaps the living crap out of him......

[Cap Mandrake]

Went to a restaurant/bar in Dana Point and there was this little short guy (about 5 3 in his boots) with an Elvis hair cut. He had a karaoke machine and he would sing Elvis, Neil Dimamond, Johnny Cash and Tom Jones and such. The guy must have had 20-30 groupies there...65+ women. I couldn't drink because I was on call for the second GD weekend in a row. Of course, nobody else felt obligated to abstain.


So he gets to "Why, why, why, Delilah" and the groupies go wild. He's shaking his bootie and we he gets to the chorus part he sings "Why, why, why Delilah?" and all the groupies shout back in the next bar (musical bar) "You whore, you slut, you skank!" [:D]

Then he sings "Why, why, why Delilah" again and they do the back up vocals again. Funny as Hell.


So here is the question. Do all Tom Jones impersonators get this when they do that song?

[Cap Mandrake]

Up through the Moluccas. There are 3 big JJ airbases of concern now that Ambon and Sorong are reduced. In there Northern Moluccas there is Davao to worry about (on Mindanao).

Kendari can be reached from Saumlaki with all the heavies and even B-25's. Manado can be reached from Saumlaki with B-24's and B-17E's with reduced bomb load. Boela would extend the range even further.

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: witpqs

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

OK...I get it. It was my niece that added her as a freind. Santa Maria! That was crose one.

Good one! Now you have a cover story.

"No Honey, I went to Hooters because my niece's friend needs a letter of reference for college."

...

"Humanitarian? Yeah, that's it, Honey. Humanitarian!"

The picture that accompanies the notification is quite impressive. Maybe she needs an employment physical...err..never mind.


This reminds me of a story. I may have told it before but the dementia is getting a bit denser so I am not really sure.

I was supposed to play in this golf tournament and drinking weekend with my brothers alcohol-swilling friends. I had to no-show but my next younger brother shows up late for the golf so he takes my badge which says "Dr. Mandrake". He grabs a golf cart, a six pack and heads off to catch up. When he gets to the 9th hole there is food (sort of) and a really attractive stripper in a bikini. He is not exactly timid so in a bout 20 seconds he is talking to the stripper and after a few seconds of small talk he complements her ample bosom.

Stripper: Are you a doctor?

Mandrake Sib: Why yes, I'm a plastic surgeon.

Stripper: Oh, do you know Dr Zzyzzx? He did my surgery.

Mandrake Sib: Yes, of course, he's in my call group. What approach did he use?

Stripper: He put them in through my arm pits. <she raises he arm and shows a tiny scar>

Mandrake Sib: Fantastic! I must complement him. Do you mind if I examine you?

Stripper: Sure, Dr. Mandrake! < she flips up her bikini top to reveal a gravity defying pair>

Mandrake Sib: <at this point even he is taken aback but he plays through and begins "examining"> ummmhmmm, yes, very nice. No scarring. Great outcome.

<Finally, one of the other golfers and announces loudly>

"Mandrake, you liar, you are an architect."

The young lady flips her top down and slaps the living crap out of him......

[:D][:D][:D]

He needs better friends. [:D]

[Argos]

The friends were probably bitter they didn't get asked in for a consult...

[desicat]

At Army Air Corps Fighter Command a Full Bird Colonel was sweating profusely as he looked over the grease board displaying the recent damage his forces had inflicted on the Japanese air bases.

A jumpy Major assigned to Intelligence was briefing the Colonel, the Colonel was worried.

Colonel; "Both airfields wrecked? That is Sorong!"

The Major looked down, not sure if the Colonel was serious. "But Sir, isn't that what we were trying to do?"

Colonel; "How could so few bombers cause so much destruction? Those airfields must be shorter than they look, aerial reconnaissance photo's look Sorong!"

The Major let out a long breath, what was the Colonel talking about? The tension in the room kicked up a notch; "Yes Sir.?!?."

Colonel; "Darn right Major, Now we need to take care of those escort range devils!"

Major; "Bealzebob?"

Colonel; "Stop repeating me son!" The Colonel shook his head in disgust, looked at the grease board and muttered "Sorong" to himself. As he turned to ask the Major a question the door slammed and the Major was gone. He signed a warrant out for the Majors arrest that evening.

The next morning the Major was found in his tent by the MP's, he had done the honorable thing. Colonel; "I knew I was right, the MP's found him dead - dead drunk! Worst intel officer I have ever seen. Sorong Bealzebob Gorong!" The faces of the assembled Officers remained blank as the Colonel continued to mumble to himself, a psych team from Sydney took the Colonel away the next day.

[Cap Mandrake]

*********************SouPac Amphibious Operations Steering Committee, Plenary Session, Jan. 18, 1943(c)************


Chairman: Right, so it's agreed, we do Namlea then Lautem, right?

Col. Corleone: G2 advises Fak Fak first, sir, on Dutch New Guinea

Chairman: Why is that, Colonel?

Col. Corleone: I think chiefly for entertainment value, sir. We all need a good Fak Fak. Alliteration....it rhymes with "Ack Ack"...the whole nine yards, sir......

[desicat]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*********************SouPac Amphibious Operations Steering Committee, Plenary Session, Jan. 18, 1943(c)************


Chairman: Right, so it's agreed, we do Namlea then Lautem, right?

Col. Corleone: G2 advises Fak Fak first, sir, on Dutch New Guinea

Chairman: Why is that, Colonel?

Col. Corleone: I think chiefly for entertainment value, sir. We all need a good Fak Fak. Alliteration....it rhymes with "Ack Ack"...the whole nine yards, sir......

********* Brisbane Combined Allied HQ - Tiny Office in Logistics ***************

Washed out Flight Lt Reeves: "Damn that Lord Admiral Sprior! If he hadn't of caught me with that stripper at the golf course I wouldn't be in this predicament!"

Stripper: "Did you really quit flying to become a Doctor?"

Lt Reeves rubbing his cramping hands: "You had to have a bonfire, half the maps of the South Pacific up in smoke! What do I know about geography? Sprior takes the good ones and you and I are left to fill in the rest by hand for those idiotic Americans."

Stripper: "My friend Kendari dated a Marine once...she woke up drunk and sore...."

Flt Lt Reeves: "Shut your Yap...Hey, that's a good one..Y-A-P. I'll stick YAP in the Caroline Islands, they'll never know.

[Cap Mandrake]

Disaster Strikes!



No, not the LYB's..it was the big black labrador who knocked over my new 600 hp computer and now it is making funny noises[:@]

Also the DL window for AE is over. I sent an email to matirx..I am NOT buying another copy on principle.

[Cap Mandrake]

Black crow dead on balcony. Probably means something.

West Nile? Zombie apocalypse? Climate change?


Maybe he just had Avian ADD (AADD) and wasn't looking.

[Cap Mandrake]

Did I mention the fridge side of the SubZero isn't working now? He probably broke something while dislodging all the dust from the coils and heat exchanger.


I had an xray on Friday and the tech says, "Are you still in practice?" [:@]

I am not naturally the conspiratorial type..but still.....

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
it is making funny noises[:@]

The laborador? Shouldn't you have that checked out?

[Crackaces]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
it is making funny noises[:@]

The laborador? Shouldn't you have that checked out?

The Ambiguous Antecedent ... [8D] Of course the laborador might be sensing the high frequency sounds of an impending hard disk crash [:'(]

[moore4807]

[:D][:D][:D] And now he's gone on record as to what caused the damages.... Section 33 paragraph II line 4 "any damages incurred by pets or organic life voids all express or implied warranty..."[:D][:D][:D]

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Black crow dead on balcony. Probably means something.

West Nile? Zombie apocalypse? Climate change?


Maybe he just had Avian ADD (AADD) and wasn't looking.

The TV news would have you believe that birds never died before West Nile Virus. Then again, maybe that's why there are so many birds...

[Cap Mandrake]

How much you want to bet HP put a shock sensor in the thing?

As for the dog making funny nosies...that was Pinhead after she drank a full bottle of Maalox.

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

How much you want to bet HP put a shock sensor in the thing?

As for the dog making funny nosies...that was Pinhead after she drank a full bottle of Maalox.

Not sure the latter would qualify as 'funny' noises. I'd characterize that more as 'terrorizing noises designed to elicit an immediate removal from the house'.