Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[sprior]

I run a piece of software that "clicks" on this drivel every few seconds. I doubt anyone actually reads most, or indeed any, of it.

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: sprior

I run a piece of software that "clicks" on this drivel every few seconds. I doubt anyone actually reads most, or indeed any, of it.

Hey! I am NOT a piece of software! Occasionally I can be hard-ware. Despite the name-calling I will continue to click this AAR at every login!

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

I'm also going to guess there weren't any women aboard.

Only vistors when alongside.

I invited my neighbours Dave and Margaret to a cocktail party on board. Margaret was dressed in a rather fetching above the knee dress and 3 in heels. She took one look at the ladder down the main access hatch and said, "I can't go down there". Mr Gallant (me!) says "It's okay, I'll go ahead of you and put your feet on the steps." "No," came the reply, "You don't understand, I'm not wearing any knickers".

Wait, didn't the Royal Navy use submarines for commando operations?*


*Are there 2 "m"'s in "commando"?

[thegreatwent]

quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

quote:

I'm also going to guess there weren't any women aboard.



Only vistors when alongside.

I invited my neighbours Dave and Margaret to a cocktail party on board. Margaret was dressed in a rather fetching above the knee dress and 3 in heels. She took one look at the ladder down the main access hatch and said, "I can't go down there". Mr Gallant (me!) says "It's okay, I'll go ahead of you and put your feet on the steps." "No," came the reply, "You don't understand, I'm not wearing any knickers".



Wait, didn't the Royal Navy use submarines for comando operations?

Yes. Kilts however, are no longer authorized kit.

[Cap Mandrake]

******************Jan. 22, 1943(c)***********


Lautem: 170 men of 3rd Marine Par Bn capture the joint. If JJ was kind enough to leave some Av Gas and Fish Head Soup cans around, we can fly in some P-40's and aviation support and send in the Marine Regt and engineers lolling about to the South...otherwise we will need to fast transport in some suppries first.

Kopeang: The carriers should be about 200 M SSE of Koepang. There was no LYB air attack. Colorado goes in tonight unless the airfield is packed with bombers. Maybe Washington too.

Namlea: A few LCT's are headed there with naval support troops...they were not attacked by air.

Derby: 2nd day in a row ground attack missions were scrubbed and switched to commander choice. This is called recon by not bombarding. It means JJ is gone.

Kendari: Good intel there now. 60+ fighters. They don't want that one flattened too.

Bathurst: I sent some oilers there for "safety". D'oh. Miss bankhead "takes two up the chuff".


Sub attack near Bathurst Island at 77,122

Japanese Ships
SS I-166

Allied Ships
AO Tallulah, Torpedo hits 2, heavy fires, heavy damage
SC-750

[witpqs]

Kopeang: The carriers should be about 200 M SSE of Koepang. There was no LYB air attack. Colorado goes in tonight unless the airfield is packed with bombers. Maybe Washington too.

If Koepang is packed with bombers then every big gun ship available should hit it tonight!

[sprior]

"takes two up the chuff".

Kinky

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: witpqs

Kopeang: The carriers should be about 200 M SSE of Koepang. There was no LYB air attack. Colorado goes in tonight unless the airfield is packed with bombers. Maybe Washington too.

If Koepang is packed with bombers then every big gun ship available should hit it tonight!

Actually, you are right. What I should have said is if Maumere (next door in the Sundas) is packed with bombers. [:)]

I excpect some mines..so I have a few small minesweepers headed in. JJ may also send in his SCTF near Endeh so we will need sone kind of surface group as well.

[Chickenboy]

Bump to avoid page two purgatory for the World's Worst AARTM

[Cap Mandrake]

Well, I got my 9+G desktop running again..or rather the guy from HP did. He had to change out the hard drive and the motherboard...which means..I have no AE. SG took her laptop to work so I have no AE..even though the turn is here.

This is more annoying than waiting for the turn. I will have to write another email to Matirx....my dog ate my AE.

In other news I went down to Laguna with SG this weekend for brunch. Fantastic weather, so we dined out on a balcony at Rockin Fish, drank Broody Marys with shrimp the size of robsters and people watched. Nobody in Laguna knows there is a recession on. Either that or they are very good at faking it. I saw 6 different Ferrari convertibles...really. I saw a 1990 ish Testarosa 512M with those wicked side panel vents. It had to stop at the stoplight like eveyone else. He was probably headed to the pawn shop.

Lots of people out with their dogs. There was a very curious dichotomy. Two droups of dogs. There was the Shi-tzu group, all white. This included the full-bred Shi-Tzu's and the Shit-a-poo hybrids. These were all being walked by well-groomed and very stylish men.

Then there were the Pit Bulls with chains that could hold up the Golden Gate bridge. There were more Pit Bulls than Ferraris and there was nothing in between. A few of the owners had shaved heads and tats (as one would expect) but most of the Pit Bulls were being walked by women (none of them had shaved heads). Wierd. Not sure what cultural inference to draw from this. Probably rescue dogs. Maybe women from the isle of Lesbos like Pit Bulls.

[Cap Mandrake]

Here is Sappho. She wrote "sappy" poems that appealed to women. That apparently makes her a Lesbian from Lesbos. Not sure if she liked golf. No Pit Bulls to be seen. We can also conclude she was not a PETA member. She is kinda cute...in that Hellenic way.

Also note that either the guy who built the garden wall was on acid or the painter needs to take a perspective class.

I wonder how Lesbos is doing in wwII(c).

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Here is Sappho. She wrote "sappy" poems that appealed to women. That apparently makes her a Lesbian from Lesbos. Not sure if she liked golf. No Pit Bulls to be seen. We can also conclude she was not a PETA member. She is kinda cute...in that Hellenic way.

Also note that either the guy who built the garden wall was on acid or the painter needs to take a perspective class.

I wonder how Lesbos is doing in wwII(c).

What do you suppose the post on the carved bust is for? The one about where his arm should be?

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Well, I got my 9+G desktop running again..or rather the guy from HP did. He had to change out the hard drive and the motherboard...which means..I have no AE. SG took her laptop to work so I have no AE..even though the turn is here.

This is more annoying than waiting for the turn. I will have to write another email to Matirx....my dog ate my AE.

In other news I went down to Laguna with SG this weekend for brunch. Fantastic weather, so we dined out on a balcony at Rockin Fish, drank Broody Marys with shrimp the size of robsters and people watched. Nobody in Laguna knows there is a recession on. Either that or they are very good at faking it. I saw 6 different Ferrari convertibles...really. I saw a 1990 ish Testarosa 512M with those wicked side panel vents. It had to stop at the stoplight like eveyone else. He was probably headed to the pawn shop.

Lots of people out with their dogs. There was a very curious dichotomy. Two droups of dogs. There was the Shi-tzu group, all white. This included the full-bred Shi-Tzu's and the Shit-a-poo hybrids. These were all being walked by well-groomed and very stylish men.

Then there were the Pit Bulls with chains that could hold up the Golden Gate bridge. There were more Pit Bulls than Ferraris and there was nothing in between. A few of the owners had shaved heads and tats (as one would expect) but most of the Pit Bulls were being walked by women (none of them had shaved heads). Wierd. Not sure what cultural inference to draw from this. Probably rescue dogs. Maybe women from the isle of Lesbos like Pit Bulls.

Big enough to hold AE.

[BBfanboy]

After our sweet Sapphos ripped off his arm when he tried to touch her, she felt sorry for him and attached what passed for a prosthesis in those days. Good thing we can't see what she did to the front of the guy. [8|]

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Here is Sappho. She wrote "sappy" poems that appealed to women. That apparently makes her a Lesbian from Lesbos. Not sure if she liked golf. No Pit Bulls to be seen. We can also conclude she was not a PETA member. She is kinda cute...in that Hellenic way.

Also note that either the guy who built the garden wall was on acid or the painter needs to take a perspective class.

I wonder how Lesbos is doing in wwII(c).

So sort of like the ancient version of those sparkly vampire books? [X(]

[Cap Mandrake]

************Plan for Night Jan 23 and the always pleasant 24th**************


Koepang: Recon reports 22 bombers and 65 fighters at Koepang with airfield damage at 45%. Time to rough them up a bit. First in...maybe..will be two YMS under the command of LtJG Walter "Double Shamrock" Kelly about 200 mi out. [&o] If Koepang has CD guns it won't be pretty. He may also run into the Jap DD's loitering at Endeh. If they survive, they can clear mines for the BB's. Next up will be HMAS Hobart and USS Nichols a Fletcher crass. A skimpy force, yes, but we don't have enough DD's and Capt. Howland, the pleasant Australian chap in charge is only supposed to drive off any light JJ surface groups that show up, not engage in slugfest. Next up may be Colorado to light up the airfield, although Washington may get there first owing to her superior speed (she is about 120 mi back).

Minesweeprs sweep the mines, light SCTF removes bad guys, BB's bombard he airfield, shutting it down and breaking crap and then everyone goes back to Darwin to celebrate....what could possibly go wrong?

Lautem: We own it but the only supplies were a couple of crates of dried copra and some 1938 copies of The Racing Form in Portuguese. The idiots picked War Admiral over Seabiscuit. The carriers are going to move NE of Lautem and cover the landing of a Marine Regt, Marine Def Bn and some AA. 40
P-40E's were flown in and some aviation support will transport in by air from Saumlaki. APD's with suppries are headed up from Darwin.

Supplies and aviation support arrive on time. 35 P-40's flying cover, ASW in place, Portland and 3 DD's for surface duty at Lautem to cover the transports, carriers standing off one hex for CAP to slaughter any poorly escorted bombers that launch from Koepang or Kendari. What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

************Plan for Night Jan 23 and the always pleasant 24th**************


Koepang: Recon reports 22 bombers and 65 fighters at Koepang with airfield damage at 45%. Time to rough them up a bit. First in...maybe..will be two YMS under the command of LtJG Walter "Double Shamrock" Kelly about 200 mi out. [&o] If Koepang has CD guns it won't be pretty. He may also run into the Jap DD's loitering at Endeh. If they survive, they can clear mines for the BB's. Next up will be HMAS Hobart and USS Nichols a Fletcher crass. A skimpy force, yes, but we don't have enough DD's and Capt. Howland, the pleasant Australian chap in charge is only supposed to drive off any light JJ surface groups that show up, not engage in slugfest. Next up may be Colorado to light up the airfield, although Washington may get there first owing to her superior speed (she is about 120 mi back).

Minesweeprs sweep the mines, light SCTF removes bad guys, BB's bombard he airfield, shutting it down and breaking crap and then everyone goes back to Darwin to celebrate....what could possibly go wrong?

Lautem: We own it but the only supplies were a couple of crates of dried copra and some 1938 copies of The Racing Form in Portuguese. The idiots picked War Admiral over Seabiscuit. The carriers are going to move NE of Lautem and cover the landing of a Marine Regt, Marine Def Bn and some AA. 40
P-40E's were flown in and some aviation support will transport in by air from Saumlaki. APD's with suppries are headed up from Darwin.

Supplies and aviation support arrive on time. 35 P-40's flying cover, ASW in place, Portland and 3 DD's for surface duty at Lautem to cover the transports, carriers standing off one hex for CAP to slaughter any poorly escorted bombers that launch from Koepang or Kendari. What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

Nothing can go wrong ... as long as your SOSUS net picks up his I-Boats. You did remember to buy SOSUS from M&M, didn't you???

[Cap Mandrake]

**********FOB Mai Tai, Papaete, Jan. 22. 1943(c)***********



Fleet Admiral Mandrake: <on phone>...Yeah, that's right, Lautem. We aren't getting any Jap sub reports.


...........


Fleet Admiral Mandrake: Banda Sea contract? What the Hell are you talking about? Lautem is on freakin' Timor. Are you trying to tell me Timor isn't in the Timor Sea?


.........


Fleet Admiral Mandrake: Just the South side? How the Hell do you keep any customers, amigo? <slams down phone and turns to naval attache>

The man is a ******* shark but if he says only the South side of Timor is in the Timor Sea then he is probably right. The annoying this is we need the product, look what happened to Bankhead, taking two up the chuff like that. Call him back tomorrow. Tell him we want a 20% discount on the Banda Sea. Call it a "second sea discount".

Naval attache: Right boss. 20% <turns to leave>

Fleet Admiral Mandrake: <calls out> And Lucha! Don't let him sell you any golf course investments, do you hear me?

[Cap Mandrake]

I am getting emails from three different UC campuses AND my good buddy the Chancellor to remind me to vote myself a tax increase in Novemeber. Sure pals, I'll get right on it.[8|]


The streetwide fight with the HOA just took a hilarious turn. The fight started when the HOA approved the subdivision of an existing lot on our street into EIGHT different lots. Naturally, this wan't very popular with the owther homeowners on the street because it would have almsot doubled the number of homes. We fought back like honey badgers. In order to throw up an obstacle, one of the neighbors claimed it was to unsafe to turn left from our street and adding more homes would make the danger worse. They hired an engineer who decided he was right...the Streetsigngruppenfuhrer at the HOA puts up a Right Turn Only sign.[:@]

This is immensely annoying so, even without a formal consensus, everyone just ignores the sign. [:D]

Well, the Gruppenfuhrer finds out and is not very pleased. So the little *-hole appropriates some HOA money to dig up the pavement and extend the center island of our street out further and put a curve in it angled to the right fairly sharply so as to force compliance with the Gruppenfuhrer's edict. It is probably a $10-15K dollar job with the landscaping. The only problem is can't go out quite far enough (for safety reason) so anyone not driving an 18 wheeler can still easily make the left turn. In true revolutionary spirit, everyone has completely ignored him again. [:D]

Meanwhile, the County has told the owner of the parcel to be split that they want a $1m EIR. [:D]

I'm sure there will be reprisals. Most likely Mr. Chang is going to get reamed for putting up a stucco wall around his 5000 sq ft putting green. Poor bastard. He's going to be making a trip to Gestapo HQ soon.

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I am getting emails from three different UC campuses AND my good buddy the Chancellor to remind me to vote myself a tax increase in Novemeber. Sure pals, I'll get right on it.[8|]

Me too. Well-from one UC campus. Even though I haven't lived there in 17 years. You know what, Cap'n? I think I'll send some money to the campaign to raise your taxes in CA in November. That should get them off my back.