Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

By ra way, again. You sent the save file and not the endsave to Road Admirar Nerson.

Sorted mush, sorted.

Ah, a vendor problem then?

[CaptDave]

ORIGINAL: Andav

Look at it this way. It could be worse. I'm sure "revenue agents" are WAAAY above lawyers and congressmen.

Since I know princep01 this is really funny. He really is a nice guy for "one of those". [:D]

Wa

That's good to know. I'm an enrolled agent, meaning I'm one of those authorized to go to battle with these fine folks. I don't have any dealings in Texas, yet, but my office colleague does. Right now, the three biggest a******s she's working with are all in Texas -- even the one in New York isn't as much of a pain!

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: CaptDave

ORIGINAL: Andav

Look at it this way. It could be worse. I'm sure "revenue agents" are WAAAY above lawyers and congressmen.

Since I know princep01 this is really funny. He really is a nice guy for "one of those". [:D]

Wa

That's good to know. I'm an enrolled agent, meaning I'm one of those authorized to go to battle with these fine folks. I don't have any dealings in Texas, yet, but my office colleague does. Right now, the three biggest a******s she's working with are all in Texas -- even the one in New York isn't as much of a pain!

Well, everything is big in Texas. I guess that includes their a******s too. [8D]

[Cap Mandrake]

I once had my own personal IRS agent working for me. [:)] He was nice but his office furniture was really crappy. [:)]


Now, the Franchise Tax Board.......that is another matter entirely. I am pretty sure they work on commission.

[Chickenboy]

From Satan?

[CaptDave]

Yeah, we in Washington (the real one, not the one on the east coast) have a healthy disrespect for the goons we have to work with at the Franchise Tax Board, too.

(Funny, when I was growing up I always wondered what the heck the Franchise Tax Board was, besides a stupid name. They had a small, windowless office in an industrial area in San Mateo.)

[Cap Mandrake]

*************Out Lady of Perpetual Guilt Armenian Orthodix Church, Gilroy, Calif.***********


<two men standing>

Older gentleman with big eyebrows: Thank you so much Father for contacting my son.

Father Kerkorian: Think nothing of it Mr. Yossarian. It was a pleasure.

Older gentleman with big eyebrows: Father, do you think he is in Limbo?

Father Kerkorian: That is more of spiritual than a literal space, Mr. Yossarian. My guess is Oz.

Older gentleman with big eyebrows: Oz? Do you mean Oz is real, father?

Father Kerkorian: It is a matter of some theological debate. What say we have a nip of Wild Turkey?

[Cap Mandrake]

*************Ternate Community Airport, Ternate, Lesser Sundas, Feb. 1, 1943(c)*************


Maj. Applebaum, 503rd PIR: Environmental Impact Report my ass. Who are you kidding? You people shit in the woods.

Chief Sulatotuchowabunga (translates roughly to "Chief Shit-in-woods"): <Smiles confidently and extends open palm. Behind him are 4 of the biggest warriors on Ternate, several reaching 5ft 6> Two sousand.

[Cap Mandrake]

**************Bali Hai Club, Darwin, Feb. 1, 1943(c)***************


Man in fine linen slacks <on phone>:..Sulawese? No, Sulawese is not in the Lesser Sunda Package, General.

...

Man in fine linen slacks <on phone>:..Now, hold on there, General. You were warned about Ternate. It's not our fault your guys forgot to move the sea planes. The information was delivered on time. I'm not trying to tell you your business General, but it seems you need to shorten your cycle time.

...

Man in fine linen slacks <on phone>:..No, not bicycle time, General, "cycle time", it's a business term from the manufacturing sector. You really should think about one of our educational and team building seminars they are quite good. Interactive lectures, sunset BarBQ. beach volleyball, paintball. They are quite good.

.....

Man in fine linen slacks <on phone>:..Great! I'll have my guys contact your guys. Now, on this Sulawese business. That is going to be the Sulawese Update.

...

Man in fine linen slacks <on phone>:..Yes, "update". "Up" as in "up" and "date" as in "date".....

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

**************Bali Hai Club, Darwin, Feb. 1, 1943(c)***************


Man in fine linen slacks <on phone>:..Sulawese? No, Sulawese is not in the Lesser Sunda Package, General.

...

Man in fine linen slacks <on phone>:..Now, hold on there, General. You were warned about Ternate. It's not our fault your guys forgot to move the sea planes. The information was delivered on time. I'm not trying to tell you your business General, but it seems you need to shorten your cycle time.

...

Man in fine linen slacks <on phone>:..No, not bicycle time, General, "cycle time", it's a business term from the manufacturing sector. You really should think about one of our educational and team building seminars they are quite good. Interactive lectures, sunset BarBQ. beach volleyball, paintball. They are quite good.

.....

Man in fine linen slacks <on phone>:..Great! I'll have my guys contact your guys. Now, on this Sulawese business. That is going to be the Sulawese Update.

...

Man in fine linen slacks <on phone>:..Yes, "update". "Up" as in "up" and "date" as in "date".....

And "update" is code for "up-price"....

[zuluhour]

Maybe M&M could get your boys in the outback one of these new fangled transport aircraft;





I stared at this thing for about five minutes at the Aerospace place and all I could think of was some guy lighting the fuse and the guy in this thing goes shooting around the sky like a baloon running out of air at a birthday pary.[:D]

[BBfanboy]

They were a bit difficult to handle because of the small control surfaces and the attack profile - 10 ft off the water at 500+ knots! One sneeze and you are a waterspout . AFAIK only one ever hit a US ship - a DD - but it blew it to smithereens - wherever that place is - must be a Greyjoy name because I can't find it on the map. [:'(]
Biggest reason for their non-success is that the Betty bombers carrying them were detected far away and fighters shot them down before they got within launch range. Rockets can be such fuel guzzling pigs!

[Cap Mandrake]

Stayed up to midnight on Monday watching a Breaking Bad marathon. I just kept booting up episode after episode on Netflix. I was aware I was displaying features of dependency but I couldn't stop myself, which is ironic, considering the subject matter. [:)] It was evident something big was going to happen....and it did. [:)]

SPOLER ALERT FROM PREVIOUS SEASON



Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding...ding, ding,BOOM [:D][:D]


Brilliantly written.

Oh, yeah...the war.


***************Feb 1, 1943(c)******************


The Sundas, Lesser, Greater and Fair to Midland..and Timor and Sulawese and Creverand: On their way back to Sydney, the carriers sweep around Ceram in a brilliantly unpredictable route to maximize air cover from land and to utilize land based ASW aircraft to scour the water for...............D'oh!


Sub attack near Kofiau at 79,106

Japanese Ships
SS I-173, hits 4, heavy damage

Allied Ships
CV Yorktown, Torpedo hits 1, on fire
CA Wichita
CL St. Louis
CLAA San Diego
DD Clark
DD Cummings
DD Meade [:@]

[Cap Mandrake]

No CAP over Manado again. Don't think there are significant bombers either.

Morning Air attack on Manado , at 75,99

Weather in hex: Overcast

Raid detected at 35 NM, estimated altitude 18,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 10 minutes


Allied aircraft
B-17E Fortress x 10
P-40K Warhawk x 1


No Allied losses
JJ is reconstituting the CAP over Koepang. We dont have enough heavies to shut everything down at the same time.


Morning Air attack on Koepang , at 68,116

Weather in hex: Light rain

Raid spotted at 33 NM, estimated altitude 12,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 11 minutes

Japanese aircraft
Ki-61-Ia Tony x 9



Allied aircraft
B-17F Fortress x 6
B-24D Liberator x 6


Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-61-Ia Tony: 1 destroyed
A6M2 Zero: 2 destroyed on ground

Allied aircraft losses
B-17F Fortress: 5 damaged
B-24D Liberator: 3 damaged



Japanese ground losses:
6 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled



Airbase hits 6
Airbase supply hits 1
Runway hits 10

Looks like some of the heavies opearating over Kendari need to move back to Koepang.

Morning Air attack on Kendari , at 70,106

Weather in hex: Light cloud

Raid spotted at 19 NM, estimated altitude 13,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 6 minutes

Japanese aircraft
no flights


Allied aircraft
B-24D Liberator x 54


Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-44-IIa Tojo: 1 destroyed on ground
A6M3a Zero: 1 destroyed on ground

No Allied losses

Japanese Ships
xAK Erie Maru, Bomb hits 1, on fire
PB Fuji Maru, Bomb hits 1, and is sunk
xAK Hokuriku Maru, Bomb hits 1, on fire
xAK Madras Maru, Bomb hits 1, on fire

Japanese ground losses:
5 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled



Airbase hits 5
Runway hits 18
Port hits 4

[BBfanboy]

I'm no expert on IJA aircraft, but aren't Tojos way more dangerous than Zeros and Tonys? He didn't seem to have any Tojos at Koepang but you did get one on the ground at Kendari. Just send some P40K to sweep Koepang and get easy kills/experience??

[Cap Mandrake]

I think the uber-sweep code was tweaked in the last patch...to the benefit of the defense. In that sense, I'm not so sure P-40K's vs Tonys would be an "easy kill"


Also, with Lautem still level 1, I dont think we can reach Koepang with P-40K's. No sweep from level 1 airfields.

[Cap Mandrake]

NO SWEEP FOR YOU!

[sprior]

A briefing room at Kandy House:

Our Hero: Good afternoon gentlemen, I'm here to tell you we're about to embark on the largest combined operation attempted by the allies thus far...

<voice from the back> Ships and submarines sir?

Our Hero: Oh, it's you Carrington-Smythe. No, I mean soldiers, you know pngoes, brown jobs. I think there might be some crabs too. Oh and Yanks. Now listen to me, and I mean this, you are not to take our colonial cousins legless and get them tattoo-ed with white ensigns or the union flag. Is That Clear?

Our target gentlemen is Ben Colon here <points at map>. We will be landing 4 army divisions and a brigade. This is friendly territory, we are liberating dyke-diggers, they will be eager-beavers to help us and won't clam up when asked questions.

Carrington-Smythe: Oh very good sir! You got dyke, beaver and clam into the same sentence!

Our Hero: What are you on about man? What's funny about dykes? They're all over my uncle's Norfolk estate.

C-S: Oh I say sir, steady on. My sister and Princess Elizabeth are land girls.

Our Hero: Are you comparing the princess to a drainage ditch? See me after.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior
Our Hero: What are you on about man? What's funny about dykes? They're all over my uncle's Norfolk estate.

Norfolk too? Bloody Hell. I thought it was just Soho.



Questions:

1) Does "Our Hero" have a name? [:)]

2) Can you explain to us, delicately, what a "Land Girl" is.

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: sprior

A briefing room at Kandy House:

Our Hero: Good afternoon gentlemen, I'm here to tell you we're about to embark on the largest combined operation attempted by the allies thus far...

<voice from the back> Ships and submarines sir?

Our Hero: Oh, it's you Carrington-Smythe. No, I mean soldiers, you know pngoes, brown jobs. I think there might be some crabs too. Oh and Yanks. Now listen to me, and I mean this, you are not to take our colonial cousins legless and get them tattoo-ed with white ensigns or the union flag. Is That Clear?

Our target gentlemen is Ben Colon here <points at map>. We will be landing 4 army divisions and a brigade. This is friendly territory, we are liberating dyke-diggers, they will be eager-beavers to help us and won't clam up when asked questions.

Carrington-Smythe: Oh very good sir! You got dyke, beaver and clam into the same sentence!

Our Hero: What are you on about man? What's funny about dykes? They're all over my uncle's Norfolk estate.

C-S: Oh I say sir, steady on. My sister and Princess Elizabeth are land girls.

Our Hero: Are you comparing the princess to a drainage ditch? See me after.

I tried being a dyke digger once but I wasn't getting anywhere. Decided to stick with the eager beavers and take up clam digging instead.