Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[BBfanboy]

Re: Col. Nicholson:
Oh goody - maybe they'll make a movie about it - The Parkade on the River Kwai. [8|]

Edit - to make the reference back to the Col.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Have not heard anything about a Halloween party this year. She might have a French maid's outfit.

I'll let you know.

This time-pictures or it didn't happen.

Help me to understand. I am to go to a party at a neighbor's house with Stalker Girl...take surreptitious pictures of Pocahantas Girl during a wardrobe "malfunction", probably with a flash because it will be at night....and then post them on the internet without permission?

What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

[Cap Mandrake]

************Admiral's Daily Briefing, FOB Papaete, Feb. 5, 1943*********


Fleet Admiral Mandrake walks into room, surprising everyone. They quickly put down their Bloody Mary's and assume a business-like posture.

Moana: Admiral, we weren't expecting you.

Fleet Admiral Mandrake: Well, it's MY damn briefing, isn't it?

Lucha: Sure boss, it's just that..well you know.

Fleet Admiral Mandrake: You think the Japs are going to give you a warning?

Moana: In Tahiti, sir? You really think they mean to attack here? Isn't that why we have the HQ's here?

Fleet Admiral Mandrake: No, it's to be able to move North or West quickly if we are needed. Also, the girls are cuter than the ones on Tanna.

Lucha: Beasts is what I hear.

Fleet Admiral Mandrake: Yeah, that's what I heard too. Well, shall we start?

Moana: Yes, sir. <opens notes> There were several USN submarine attacks in the Sundas....

Fleet Admiral Mandrake: No, no, NO! Not that! Let the staff handle that. I want to talk about a nightmare I had. I dreamt I was attacked by a midget nurse. Nasty little bitch with fangs and a starched white uniform too. <shudders>

Moana: That must have been very frightenting, sir?

Fleet Admiral Mandrake: Nearly scared the living crap out of me, but I'm over it. What I want to know is what does it mean?

Moana: Mean, sir?

Fleet Admiral Mandrake: yeah. "Mean"....for operations and shit like that.

[Cap Mandrake]

*****************Feb 5, 1943(c)**************

What are likely empty LYB transports trying to escape Westward from Kendari around Sulawese are spotted and Allied subs are vectored in.

Sub attack near Swatow at 81,63

Japanese Ships
xAKL Gyoun Maru, Torpedo hits 1, on fire, heavy damage
xAKL Saiho Maru
xAKL Buyo Maru
xAKL Nichizui Maru
PB Seki Maru #3

Allied Ships
SS Growler



SS Growler launches 6 torpedoes at xAKL Gyoun Maru
Growler bottoming out ....
PB Seki Maru #3 fails to find sub, continues to search...
PB Seki Maru #3 fails to find sub, continues to search...
PB Seki Maru #3 fails to find sub, continues to search...
PB Seki Maru #3 fails to find sub, continues to search...
PB Seki Maru #3 fails to find sub, continues to search...
Escort abandons search for sub


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ASW attack near Makassar at 64,107

Japanese Ships
PB Kyo Maru #11
SC Ch 12
xAP Montevideo Maru
xAK Tenshinsan Maru
xAK Miyadono Maru
xAK Asuka Maru
PB Shonan Maru #1

Allied Ships
SS KIX



SS KIX is sighted by escort
KIX diving deep ....
PB Shonan Maru #1 fails to find sub, continues to search...
PB Shonan Maru #1 fails to find sub, continues to search...
PB Shonan Maru #1 fails to find sub, continues to search...
PB Shonan Maru #1 fails to find sub, continues to search...
PB Shonan Maru #1 fails to find sub, continues to search...
Escort abandons search for sub


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sub attack near Tokara Retto at 100,63

Japanese Ships
xAK Unkai Maru #3, Torpedo hits 1, heavy damage
xAKL Eiwa Maru
xAKL Taisoku Maru
PB Konei Maru

Allied Ships
SS Peto

Wait, I just realized Tokara Retto can't be in the Lesser, Fair to Midland OR the Greater Sundas. Maybe it's in the Atlantic or the Alaskan Inland Warerway? Come to think of it, I'm not sure where Swatow is either.

[Cap Mandrake]

New Scotland: Remember that place? Half the ship and plane losses for the entire war occurred in the waters off New Scotland and now it is a backwater. Go figure. Allied air forces on New Scotland consist of some oil-leaking P-40B's and a squadron of SBD's

14th NZ Brigade is brought in from Norfolk Is. on a couple of 10 kt rust buckets to augment the USMC Regt. It will be enough to take Noumea.

Ground combat at Noumea (115,160)

Allied Deliberate attack

Attacking force 7674 troops, 133 guns, 61 vehicles, Assault Value = 297

Defending force 1685 troops, 12 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 59

Allied engineers reduce fortifications to 3

Allied adjusted assault: 260

Japanese adjusted defense: 82

Allied assault odds: 3 to 1 (fort level 3)

Allied Assault reduces fortifications to 3

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), forts(+), morale(-), experience(-), supply(-)
Attacker:

Japanese ground losses:
198 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 14 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 6 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Guns lost 4 (1 destroyed, 3 disabled)


Allied ground losses:
47 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 11 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled


Assaulting units:
3rd Marine Regiment
14th NZ Brigade

Defending units:
61st Naval Guard Unit
46th JNAF AF Unit

[Cap Mandrake]

***************07:40, Feb 5, 1943(c), aboard Unkai Maru #3***************


As the sun rises a spectacular vista of glaciers and forrested peaks is backlit in gold and lavender.


Cpt Ugaki: <excitiedly> ROOK MEN! KIRRER WARES!

[Cap Mandrake]

My neighbor 2 doors up the street hired a personal trainer. I don't fault him for that but he has narrow street frontage so the guy parks in front of my house and puts a big sign by his car that reads "Fitcore Gym on Wheels".

What if someone thinks I need a trainer? [:-]

He is quite a big guy. 350 at least. Buys or leases a new BMW 7 series every year. I think he is having a midlife crisis because he just got a new all black 640i with smoked windows and black wheels. Very nice machine but I bet he makes a grunting sound when he gets in.

One time I was out gardening and a bobacat ran down his driveway. He ran after the poor thing with an axe screaming, "MOUNTAIN LION! MOUNTAIN LION"

Big Neighbor: Did yu see that? A mountain lion?

Me: Yeah, thaks for keeping the neighborhood safe.

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

************Admiral's Daily Briefing, FOB Papaete, Feb. 5, 1943*********


Fleet Admiral Mandrake walks into room, surprising everyone. They quickly put down their Bloody Mary's and assume a business-like posture.

Moana: Admiral, we weren't expecting you.

Fleet Admiral Mandrake: Well, it's MY damn briefing, isn't it?

Lucha: Sure boss, it's just that..well you know.

Fleet Admiral Mandrake: You think the Japs are going to give you a warning?

Moana: In Tahiti, sir? You really think they mean to attack here? Isn't that why we have the HQ's here?

Fleet Admiral Mandrake: No, it's to be able to move North or West quickly if we are needed. Also, the girls are cuter than the ones on Tanna.

Lucha: Beasts is what I hear.

Fleet Admiral Mandrake: Yeah, that's what I heard too. Well, shall we start?

Moana: Yes, sir. <opens notes> There were several USN submarine attacks in the Sundas....

Fleet Admiral Mandrake: No, no, NO! Not that! Let the staff handle that. I want to talk about a nightmare I had. I dreamt I was attacked by a midget nurse. Nasty little bitch with fangs and a starched white uniform too. <shudders>

Moana: That must have been very frightenting, sir?

Fleet Admiral Mandrake: Nearly scared the living crap out of me, but I'm over it. What I want to know is what does it mean?

Moana: Mean, sir?

Fleet Admiral Mandrake: yeah. "Mean"....for operations and shit like that.

If said little white nurse [as opposed to LYB?] held an enema in one hand and a colono-scope in the other, the last line of your briefing is prescient...[:'(]

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Have not heard anything about a Halloween party this year. She might have a French maid's outfit.

I'll let you know.

This time-pictures or it didn't happen.

Help me to understand. I am to go to a party at a neighbor's house with Stalker Girl...take surreptitious pictures of Pocahantas Girl during a wardrobe "malfunction", probably with a flash because it will be at night....and then post them on the internet without permission?

What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

By Odin, you're right. Piece of cake.

[zuluhour]

Go infrared; then you can tell desire levels.[:D][:D]

ps. Geeeez Cap your in box is full, I can't send my personal best camera angle.[:D]

[Argos]

"You know black and white would just capture the moment so nicely"

[Chickenboy]

Cap'n 'n Spry:

Bump from page 2 purgatory.

I can't believe I'm actually going to ask you both a question about your game. I apologize in advance to your readers for this departure from the inanity.

Anyways, I was wondering if you could comment on the comparatively early air superiority you've seemingly achieved. I'm puzzled because your opponents 1. Aren't noobs and 2. Are playing scenario 2, a very benevolent setup to the Japanese. Yet, for the past several months A2A losses are smartly in your favor and I am seeing a plethora of antiquated airframes (A6M2s? Limited N1K1-J involvement? Few Ki-61a, etc.), few upgraded aircraft and surprisingly small numbers of fighters resisting your air war.

What's going on with your Jap opponents? Surely, they can field a better team than they're doing? Are they 'playing' you and allowing you greater gain than you should? It's like it's quiet...almost too quiet.

Your thoughts?

[Cap Mandrake]

This is something I have wondered about as well.

There are perhaps several factors

1) Our massive, throbbing cerebra

2) Problems with the home front in the Japans. Maybe they are making Honda lawnmower engines instead of aircraft engines.

3) Coordination issues between LYB commands

4) Very heavy ground losses of LYB airframes. I realize this doesnt usually affects pilots.

5) Very aggressive use of Allied heavy bombers with concentration of forces (Oz for eg.)

6) I believe the LYB's are using LRCAP very aggressively, resulting in fatigue losses to pilots.

7) effective use of Allied air HQ's

8) Getting there firstest with the mostest

9) Two gigantic, protracted, Stalingrad-like battles (New Scotland and Port Hedrand) with heavy air losses on both sides. This may have dented LYB pilot pools more than Allied, even in scenario 2?

10) Failure of Japan to buy appropriate air raid warning riders on intelligence contracts.

11) Underutilization of the Grand Wizard of the KKK as a valuable air defense consultant.

12) Luck

13) Inadequate dietary fiber causing hemorrhoids among LYB commanders.

[Cap Mandrake]

BTW...it's official. No Halloween party at PG's house this year.


The good news is I won't have to chase SG around to keep the Jello shooters under 15

Last year PG had her Mayan hand out the Jello shooters. She did not approve. Every time a woman guest would take a shooter she would moan, "Ay senora!"

I don't know if she thought it was a waste of good tequila (it was) or if she thought there was sexual innuendo in the way the gals were sucking them down (I am pretty sure there was) or if she was worried she would have to clean up blue Jello barf (she didn't as far as I know).

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

This is something I have wondered about as well.

There are perhaps several factors

1) Our massive, throbbing cerebra

2) Problems with the home front in the Japans. Maybe they are making Honda lawnmower engines instead of aircraft engines.

3) Coordination issues between LYB commands

4) Very heavy ground losses of LYB airframes. I realize this doesnt usually affects pilots.

5) Very aggressive use of Allied heavy bombers with concentration of forces (Oz for eg.)

6) I believe the LYB's are using LRCAP very aggressively, resulting in fatigue losses to pilots.

7) effective use of Allied air HQ's

8) Getting there firstest with the mostest

9) Two gigantic, protracted, Stalingrad-like battles (New Scotland and Port Hedrand) with heavy air losses on both sides. This may have dented LYB pilot pools more than Allied, even in scenario 2?

10) Failure of Japan to buy appropriate air raid warning riders on intelligence contracts.

11) Underutilization of the Grand Wizard of the KKK as a valuable air defense consultant.

12) Luck

13) Inadequate dietary fiber causing hemorrhoids among LYB commanders.

[:D][:D] Completely forgot about the Grand Wizard! Perhaps you should counter with a contract for Harry Potter's services ... tell him to bring Emma Watson for, um, research purposes.

[moore4807]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

BTW...it's official. No Halloween party at PG's house this year.


The good news is I won't have to chase SG around to keep the Jello shooters under 15

Last year PG had her Mayan hand out the Jello shooters. She did not approve. Every time a woman guest would take a shooter she would moan, "Ay senora!"

I don't know if she thought it was a waste of good tequila (it was) or if she thought there was sexual innuendo in the way the gals were sucking them down (I am pretty sure there was) or if she was worried she would have to clean up blue Jello barf (she didn't as far as I know).

[:D][:D][:D] ahhh, I get it! The country song references!!!
"Tequila makes her clothes fall off" "The more I drink the better you look", but I have'nt a clue about the Blue Jello barf though, must be some obscure label...[:'(]

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

This is something I have wondered about as well.

There are perhaps several factors

1) Our massive, throbbing cerebra

Um...what's next on your list of differentials, Cap'n?

2) Problems with the home front in the Japans. Maybe they are making Honda lawnmower engines instead of aircraft engines.

I must confess that I've never thought of the advantages of having a 1200HP Nakajima Ha-35 lawnmower engine. That would be...cool. [8D]

3) Coordination issues between LYB commands

Have you seen any other manifestations of poor coordination between IJA and IJN activities (beyond aircraft)?

4) Very heavy ground losses of LYB airframes. I realize this doesnt usually affects pilots.

While his ground losses have been brutal, they've been on largely antiquated to older modeled aircraft. By February, 1943(c) in scenario 2, he should be approaching Tojo IIc, Ki-61d, N1K1-J, A6M5, D4Y1/2 and B6N1 deployment. Have you seen these aircraft anywhere, let alone destroyed on the tarmac?

I'm thinking that there must be some issues with your opponent's R/D or home industries.

5) Very aggressive use of Allied heavy bombers with concentration of forces (Oz for eg.)

Yes, he got pasted on the ground in Australia, but I see that as more of a manpower / LCU loss than a permanent setback in the air.

6) I believe the LYB's are using LRCAP very aggressively, resulting in fatigue losses to pilots.

OK. That could certainly have an effect.

7) effective use of Allied air HQ's

Como?

8) Getting there firstest with the mostest

Ayup.

9) Two gigantic, protracted, Stalingrad-like battles (New Scotland and Port Hedrand) with heavy air losses on both sides. This may have dented LYB pilot pools more than Allied, even in scenario 2?

What are your monthly replacement rates at this time? IIRC, IJNAF and IJAAF replacements in scenario 2 are on the order of 940 apiece *starting at the onset of the war*. Lots higher than scenario 1. Were your massive battles ever attritting IJNAF and IJAAF at the rate of ~1900 pilots per month?

ETA: These figures are quarterly replacement numbers, so please amend my previous comments by a factor of three. IJAAF and IJNAF pilot losses need to be on the order of 633. Have you been consistently getting that?

10) Failure of Japan to buy appropriate air raid warning riders on intelligence contracts.

Surely they have someone that can provide them with such? I'm surprised that M&M hasn't had some competition on the secondary market for directly competing services. The Dutch are an industrious sort, why isn't there some direct competition for the Red White and Blue?

12) Luck

By Odin, you're on to something here! [&o]

13) Inadequate dietary fiber causing hemorrhoids among LYB commanders.

At least pronounciation shouldn't be a problem. Not like Shigerrosis.

[MateDow]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Surely they have someone that can provide them with such? I'm surprised that M&M hasn't had some competition on the secondary market for directly competing services. The Dutch are an industrious sort, why isn't there some direct competition for the Red White and Blue?

Yes but that would just cause confusion. Two countries with red, white and blue??!?

There should be an alternative that wouldn't be as confusing.

Canadians - Red and white
Germans - Red, white and black
Russians - Just plain Red

Hmm, even there, there aren't a lot of differences.

Maybe the Swedes can start an Ikea franchise early and add radar to build-it-yourself furniture?

[Cap Mandrake]

***************IJA Fierd Hospitah, Port Hedrand, Feb. 5, 1943(c)**************


Ordery: Thata sevety six with dysentery, Major. Whata happen?

Chief Surgeon: Nota sure. Prorry Shigerrosis, Samonerra, Campyrobacter or E. cori.

Ordery: "E. cori"?

Chief Surgeon: No, nota "E. cori", I say "E. cori". Bettah check fish head soup.

[Walloc]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

[I must confess that I've never thought of the advantages of having a 1200HP Nakajima Ha-35 lawnmower engine. That would be...cool. [8D]

Well some one beat u too it, well almost...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Suid63Hs ... re=related

Rasmus