Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Argos

..."plus not one, but TWO Bn., commanders."

I can say with the voice of experience on this matter that there is where the problem started. (Hazmat truck? Meth seems unlikely as recent cooking 'advances' have allowed for a lot more do it your self coverage of supply needs. Seems like somebody was showing the flag in the spendy neighborhoods ahead of ballot initiative time...)

Just like drinking events with Engineers, Lawyers, or Doctors you can never have an even number of same ranked commanders if you don't want the event to end in one of the following- 1)arguments, 2)confusion, 3)tears. With an odd number (other than 1 of course, unless meds are indicated) they tend to turn on each other and fight for dominance leaving the rest of society to carry on.

DAMN! I didn't even THINK of the political angle! I bet you are right. There is a big ballot (tax) inititative coming up. Also, the whole neighborhood just got hit with a $150 "fee" for the state fire authority.

Dead things on trucks/equipment that get stored in station are generally a bad long term idea. If the building gets warm and you stand in the right spot we have a truck that still, after 5 years, smells like a herd of deer hit at 65mph (this was the single most 'Deliverance' like call I have ever run - I'm getting PTSD symptoms just mentioning it).

Yeah, I can't really blame the animal control guy for tossing the skunk on the hill (although there is the potential rabies angle). Just thought it was funny they had to call another truck in.


The Hazmat truck was literally awesome. Awesome graphic design. Spotless. Wheels were Armor-Alled. I am pretty sure there was some Homeland Security money in it. I don't think they even opened 1 compartment on the thing. I think your "Great White Fleet" idea is right on.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
I am hoping no mammal woul stoop that low.

You know this is an election year, doncha? Certain political candidates running for office would eat their young. Some dead skunk is no worse than kissing babies, dude.

Politicians are not true mammals. They sully the Book of Mammalia with their extremist views. [;)]

[Argos]

There is a yearly grant program that distributes about 1 billion dollars to emergency responders based on political connectedness of department and how frightening a story your grant writer can come up with related to a particular risk. Hazmat trucks manufacturing companies are a primary benefactor of this largess as you can work in responder safety and decontamination for the public in mass casualty/terrorist events into one truck.

The trouble with them is finding a use after you get one to show that you haven't been wasting the money thus jeopardizing future grant awards so you try to dispatch them to anything that might remotely be related to what they were built for. IE that big house might have a pool/hot tub and might have chems stored and we might use enough water to potentially flush the chemicals and harm the surrounding habitat for the endangered Giant Mandrake Lab Mix (known for its delightful early morning song). The air supply and lots of crews on a big house are probably a good call - although ten is a bit much for full time depts unless everybody needs to pad their run logs.

Fire trucks with splashy graphics/flames painted on are a bit of a warning sign of a possible grant award (or that one of your FFs also works in an auto body shop).

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Argos

There is a yearly grant program that distributes about 1 billion dollars to emergency responders based on political connectedness of department and how frightening a story your grant writer can come up with related to a particular risk. Hazmat trucks manufacturing companies are a primary benefactor of this largess as you can work in responder safety and decontamination for the public in mass casualty/terrorist events into one truck.

The trouble with them is finding a use after you get one to show that you haven't been wasting the money thus jeopardizing future grant awards so you try to dispatch them to anything that might remotely be related to what they were built for. IE that big house might have a pool/hot tub and might have chems stored and we might use enough water to potentially flush the chemicals and harm the surrounding habitat for the endangered Giant Mandrake Lab Mix (known for its delightful early morning song). The air supply and lots of crews on a big house are probably a good call - although ten is a bit much for full time depts unless everybody needs to pad their run logs.

Fire trucks with splashy graphics/flames painted on are a bit of a warning sign of a possible grant award (or that one of your FFs also works in an auto body shop).

Yes...this is the old notion of use it or lose it. It's the same reason why, at the end of the budget year, the city government hires a contractor to put in center islands right where people want to turn. Then, 4 months later, the same contractor hires his brother-in-law to do curb cuts and saw up the concrete of the freaking center island that he just put in...because some lawyer for the "disabled" sued the city for wheechair access under the ADA..even though you would have to have a death wish to cross there...despite the fact the crossing light has been adjusted to 45 seconds to meet code...because now the ******* traffic is backed up 2 miles and the drivers are ready to kill each other and aren't about to let a guy in a wheelchair cause them to miss a light.

I forgot to mention that the landscape contractor gets paid to put in alll new plants because the curb-cut guys sawed through the irrigation line and the water spilled into the storm drain for 3 mos and all the plants died of anti-water poisoning. Also the city gets sued by the EPA because the water leak washed too many road solvents into the storm drain and they have to hire the original contractor's son-in-law (who has a Hispanic surname but is blonde) to excavate 3 million cubic yds of creek bed and truck the soil out to the desert because they were in violation of the Riparian Natural Watery Protection Act of 1981.

[BBfanboy]

Whaaat! No Act to protect the fragile desert scorpion ecosystem???[:-]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy

Whaaat! No Act to protect the fragile desert scorpion ecosystem???[:-]

It's Indian land. When the EPA guy showed up they scalped him and sent the hairpiece back to EPA HQ. [:)]


Then they covered up the 1 ppb benzene "fill dirt" with asphalt for the casino parking lot and used the money they made for accepting "toxic waste" to run advocacy ads to keep the casino open.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy

ORIGINAL: zuluhour

Hey, How much for a weekend gettaway at the Mandrake estate???? I can't get any damn entertainment around here!![:D]

[:D]
Hey - remember the early "Flying Toasters" screen saver? It seems it has been updated to the "Flying Modem" screen smasher!

I think I was imprecise. We got in a fight BECAUSE she turned my modem in to the recycler guy. [:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

*************Feb 14, Varentines Day***************

Sorong: Way to go Orange!

ASW attack near Sorong at 82,107

Japanese Ships
SS RO-67, hits 21, on fire, heavy damage

Allied Ships
DD Tjerk Hiddes

Payback by RO-62

Sub attack near Sorong at 82,107

Japanese Ships
SS RO-62

Allied Ships
CL Columbia, Torpedo hits 2, heavy damage
DD Tjerk Hiddes

Ouch! Columbia at 67% flotation damage. I hope she can make it back to Boela. 6th Marine Regt ashore.

[Cap Mandrake]

Sulawese: Unloading of troops at Sidate going well. Nothing bad happened. LYB fighters are abandoning Manado again.

[Cap Mandrake]

[font="Courier New"]FROM: PICKEREL
TO: COMSUBPAC
DATE: 07:20:14:02:43 ZULU

HAVE ENGAGAGED 4 ENEMY DESTROYERS IN LIKELY ESCORT ROLE STOP CONTACT 125 NM ENE BILLITON IS STOP TARGET COURSE UNKOWN END[/font]

[Cap Mandrake]

ASW attack near Billiton at 52,91

Japanese Ships
DD Hatsuyuki
DD Shirayuki
DD Ushio
DD Oboro

Allied Ships
SS Pickerel, hits 3

Hmmmm? Pretty nice equipment just motoring around off Billiton.

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ASW attack near Billiton at 52,91

Japanese Ships
DD Hatsuyuki
DD Shirayuki
DD Ushio
DD Oboro

Allied Ships
SS Pickerel, hits 3

Hmmmm? Pretty nice equipment just motoring around off Billiton.

It's opening day for the bluefin tuna [Ahi?] season. Gotta support the Japanese economy somehow, since you are sinking most of his xAKs and TKs.

[Cap Mandrake]

Port Hedrand: This....

Morning Air attack on 5th Division, at 57,129 (Port Hedland)

Weather in hex: Moderate rain

Raid detected at 39 NM, estimated altitude 9,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 13 minutes


Allied aircraft
Beaufort V x 17
Beaufort VIII x 18
Bolingbroke IV x 10
B-17E Fortress x 4
B-25C Mitchell x 46
B-25D1 Mitchell x 2
B-26 Marauder x 5
B-26B Marauder x 9


Allied aircraft losses
B-17E Fortress: 1 damaged
B-25C Mitchell: 2 damaged

Japanese ground losses:
441 casualties reported
Squads: 3 destroyed, 4 disabled
Non Combat: 7 destroyed, 48 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled

Then this....

Morning Air attack on 24th Infantry Regiment, at 57,129 (Port Hedland)

Weather in hex: Moderate rain

Raid spotted at 15 NM, estimated altitude 9,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 5 minutes


Allied aircraft
Beaufort V x 8
Beaufort VIII x 9


Allied aircraft losses
Beaufort V: 1 damaged

Japanese ground losses:
63 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 10 disabled
Non Combat: 1 destroyed, 4 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Guns lost 2 (1 destroyed, 1 disabled)

Then this...just missed 1:1 with a shock bonus. Those LYB's are tough SOB's

Ground combat at Port Hedland (57,129)

Allied Shock attack

Attacking force 20952 troops, 481 guns, 764 vehicles, Assault Value = 599

Defending force 35981 troops, 378 guns, 203 vehicles, Assault Value = 800

Allied adjusted assault: 300

Japanese adjusted defense: 346

Allied assault odds: 1 to 2 (fort level 3)

Combat modifiers
Defender: forts(+), leaders(+), disruption(-), experience(-)
supply(-)
Attacker: shock(+)

Japanese ground losses:
1899 casualties reported
Squads: 22 destroyed, 96 disabled
Non Combat: 24 destroyed, 22 disabled
Engineers: 4 destroyed, 9 disabled
Guns lost 25 (17 destroyed, 8 disabled)
Vehicles lost 8 (7 destroyed, 1 disabled)
Units destroyed 2


Allied ground losses:
841 casualties reported
Squads: 15 destroyed, 63 disabled
Non Combat: 2 destroyed, 74 disabled
Engineers: 3 destroyed, 16 disabled
Guns lost 22 (7 destroyed, 15 disabled)
Vehicles lost 100 (26 destroyed, 74 disabled)


Assaulting units:
2/5th Armoured Regiment
2/11th Armoured Car Battalion
640th Tank Destroyer Battalion
637th Tank Destroyer Battalion
22nd (East African) Brigade
2/10th Armoured Regiment
32nd Infantry Division
2nd British Division
7th RAN Base Force
14th USN Naval Construction Battalion
2nd Medium Regiment

Defending units:
65th Brigade
5th Division
24th Infantry Regiment
6th Guards Division
4th Ind. Engineer Regiment
66th Infantry Group
30th Fld AA Gun Co
16th Army
22nd Air Flotilla
9th Field AF Construction Battalion
77th Infantry Regiment
51st JNAF AF Unit
9th Ind.Hvy.Art. Battalion
4th Infantry Regiment
56th Engineer Regiment
21st Ind. Engineer Regiment
2nd Ind.Art.Mortar Battalion
Yokosuka Assault SNLF /2



They took heavier casualties but the attack really disrupted Br. 2nd Div and dinged up the M-10's. We are up against the "Immortals"

[Cap Mandrake]

*****************120 nm N Truk Lagoon, Feb 14, 1943(c)*************


USS Cachalot is recovering the body a downed Japanese aviator entangled in his chute. Curiously, there is a briefcase handcuffed to hs wrist...........

[Cap Mandrake]

*************Seaplane hangar, FOB Mai Tai, Papaete, 21:30, Feb 14, 1943(c)**************


FAM: Well, I'll be damned. It actually said for Rord Admirar Nerson on the outside?


Moana: Yes sir.


FAM: Anything on the inside?


Moana: Mostly crab-eaten, but there was this "Kaga is ready"


FAM: Kaga, that's a ship, right?


Moana: An old feudal provence and a ship, yes?


FAM: Did we damage Kaga, the ship not the provence?


Moana: Yes sir, in the 32nd Naval Battle of Port Hedrand.


FAM: Right, so they either threw this chap to the crabs on purpose and left us this little tidbit to scare us and just happened to drop him in the path of one of our subs or he really did crash and the crabs ate everything but this little bit.


Moana: Yes sir, looks that way.


FAM: Smells like a taro garden with too much pig shit to me, but I guess we better tell Admiral Lord SPrior.


Moana: Yes, sir. I'll need the 4th rotor then.


FAM: Ah, yes <reaches into pocket> That reminds me, what are those NAACP guys doing?


Moana: They are still outside of your office singing "We Shall Overcome".............

[Cap Mandrake]

Wyndham (this is in Oz): After some attention-getting from B-24's, Australian reserve units attacked the LYB's who don't realize they are walking dead yet.

Ground combat at Wyndham (70,127)

Allied Shock attack

Attacking force 8012 troops, 75 guns, 470 vehicles, Assault Value = 530

Defending force 5867 troops, 68 guns, 196 vehicles, Assault Value = 134

Allied adjusted assault: 522

Japanese adjusted defense: 241

Allied assault odds: 2 to 1 (fort level 3)

Allied Assault reduces fortifications to 1

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), experience(-), supply(-)
Attacker: shock(+)

Japanese ground losses:
17 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 4 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Guns lost 6 (1 destroyed, 5 disabled)
Vehicles lost 20 (3 destroyed, 17 disabled)


Allied ground losses:
136 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 18 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 5 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled
Vehicles lost 15 (4 destroyed, 11 disabled)


Assaulting units:
4th Armoured Brigade
3rd Motor Brigade
2/7th Armoured Regiment
3rd Army Tank Brigade
Wyndham RAAF Base Force

Defending units:
7th Ind.Tank Brigade
6th Air Defense AA Regiment
80th JAAF AF Bn
21st Air Flotilla
3rd Provisional Base Force

[Cap Mandrake]

China (this is in Asia): There was also this cataclysm of arms near Chungking....and we lost....close call on the 2:1


Ground combat at 77,43 (near Chungking)

Japanese Shock attack

Attacking force 57965 troops, 556 guns, 111 vehicles, Assault Value = 1886

Defending force 45234 troops, 278 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 1347

Japanese adjusted assault: 1729

Allied adjusted defense: 714

Japanese assault odds: 2 to 1

Combat modifiers
Defender: experience(-), supply(-)
Attacker: shock(+)

Japanese ground losses:
6287 casualties reported
Squads: 49 destroyed, 456 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 59 disabled
Engineers: 1 destroyed, 46 disabled
Guns lost 24 (1 destroyed, 23 disabled)


Allied ground losses:
7207 casualties reported
Squads: 319 destroyed, 170 disabled
Non Combat: 593 destroyed, 103 disabled
Engineers: 17 destroyed, 18 disabled
Guns lost 46 (18 destroyed, 28 disabled)
Units retreated 12
Units destroyed 1


Defeated Allied Units Retreating!

Assaulting units:
36th Division
59th Infantry Brigade
110th Division
13th Division
4th Ind.Mixed Brigade
32nd Division
14th Medium Field Artillery Regiment
52nd Ind.Mtn.Gun Battalion
15th Ind.Medium Field Artillery Regiment
12th Army
29th Ind. Engineer Regiment

Defending units:
69th Chinese Corps
91st Chinese Corps
50th Chinese Corps
76th Chinese Corps
1st New Chinese Corps
55th Chinese Corps
42nd Chinese Corps
200th Chinese Division
15th Chinese Base Force
38th Group Army
15th Group Army
25th Chinese Corps
1st Construction Regiment

[Cap Mandrake]

Mandrake Jr. caused big boo boo to hamster car due to confusion about meaning of red and green

Mandrake have to rent crappy GMC POS with lawnmower engine. Meanwhile Mandrake Jr. driving 5 series.

Mandrake pray to Tatonka big white buffalo (herbivore not raidal engine fighter).


"Our father Tatonka, who art in happy hunting ground....damn Mandrake not remember rest" <makes Domincan baseball player good luck sign>

[zuluhour]

"Mandrake have to rent crappy GMC POS with lawnmower engine. Meanwhile Mandrake Jr. driving 5 series."

I'm not sure I have this right, Jr causes problem, Sr suffers the ultimate penalty of driving 21st century K car while Jr rides in MILF catcher? I really have to stop by for the weekend, far better than the beach trip we have planned![:D]

[witpqs]

Mandrake Jr. no rent car for self?