Jaded

[GaryChildress]

Sometimes the real world intrudes upon a person and there are things more important even that a WitP turn. Suddenly WitP looses all its luster. There are times when nothing seems to matter anymore. I look at my computer and it merely blends into the background of every other object of little importance in the world.

My thoughts are too focused on other events, going on at work. My job is in jeopardy. But it's more than that. A good friendship with my boss is in jeopardy. I feel like she crossed the line trashing me in the annual evaluations. What's worse is I can't even argue with her. Everything she wrote is true. I suppose there are things more important than friendships. Anyone is disposable when it comes to a job, even ones close friends.

Or perhaps I have betrayed her. She depends upon me to look good to her superiors. But I just can't pull it off anymore as I could once do. Now I am down to difficult choices. Do I stay with the company, beating a dead horse as it were, and continue to make my boss/friend look bad? Or do I go and find another job where I may be of more value, but one which will likely remove me from the the world inhabited by my boss/favorite person in the whole world.

It's the most cruel choice I've yet come upon in life. Its agonizing me to no end. Either way I loose something of immeasurable value. If I stay I will likely destroy my boss' good standing with her managers. If I go I'll likely never see her again. I can only remember the good times we had together, times which will likely only fade off into fond memories of the past.

In life precious things come and go. Some are the most precious things in the world. It's difficult to let them go even when I must. I look at my computer and it sits there. Somehow it's not the same object of imemnse entertainment it once was. Nothing is. Everything just sits there, books, music, computer gadgets of all sorts. None of them can rescue me. I could travel to the far corners of the Earth and the difficulty would find me wherever I run. There is no escape from the inevitable.

Sorry VSWG, I'll get you the turn when I can. [:(]

[scott64]

[X(]


Things will get better Gary

[dtravel]

Quit now and find a new job.  You can work well with a boss but you can never truely be friends with one.  You are obviously unhappy in your current job and from personal experience I can tell you that once you reach that point it doesn't get better.  Get out now while you might still be able to get a recommendation and reference (although from what you say it may already be too late for that).

[jwilkerson]

Sounds like a sad story. But as we get older, the truth of the statement (attributed to Heraclitus) "The only constant in the universe is change" becomes more evident, and more difficult to fathom. Either way, you face change, that is the tough part. The past will be a memory, perhaps painful at first, less so later.

[Grotius]

Hang in there. I can understand that a computer game might seem unimportant now. But I do think games are an important part of life; they keep us young. It doesn't have to be WITP, but I do think you owe it to yourself to keep some light stuff in your life.

[aztez]

Just hang in there. If there is one thing I have learned about life than it is the fact that things will eventually turn for good [:)]

[Ron Saueracker]

I'm with the dtraveller. Bail now. Trust me, it will be the right choice in the long run Gary.

[1EyedJacks]

Perhaps start by looking @ what you want in life. What type of work would you like to do? What job would be an enjoyable challenge? And then start looking.

When I was 35 a friend gave me some sound advice:

Life is short - enjoy it. Find a job or type of work that you enjoy doing - something that's almost like play. When you feel down do something nice 4 someone else but don't tell anybody else what you did - keep it a secret <grin>.

Don't jump ship until you are ready 2 jump ship. Take you time and move when it's best for you to move. Keep giving your best @ work. And if your boss is really your friend she will understand.

[Ron Saueracker]

ORIGINAL: 1EyedJacks

Perhaps start by looking @ what you want in life. What type of work would you like to do? What job would be an enjoyable challenge? And then start looking.

When I was 35 a friend gave me some sound advice:

Life is short - enjoy it. Find a job or type of work that you enjoy doing - something that's almost like play. When you feel down do something nice 4 someone else but don't tell anybody else what you did - keep it a secret <grin>.

Don't jump ship until you are ready 2 jump ship. Take you time and move when it's best for you to move. Keep giving your best @ work. And if your boss is really your friend she will understand.

That too! Well said 1 EYE! Basically, screw the world! It's not a race...we all reach the finish and we can't take crap along after the fact...and I doubt there are any bragging rights or 1st class compartments at the end of the line! Just enjoy the ride and accept that some folks started way ahead of the start gun! Many of those tarts end up as losers anyway...

Party on....[:D]

[Gen.Hoepner]

I perfectly understand you as my boss is probably one of my oldest and best friend i have( i know her since we were 14). We've been even going out togheder few years ago. And i understand how you do feel, cause very often i feel the temptation to bail out and find a new job where i'm not so involved, humanly speaking, with my boss.
Friendship and work are things that cannot be joint easily, but if she's a true friend of yours she'll understand your choice of going away, and probably it will be a good thing also for her. I think if the role of the job-subordinated friend is tough, probably the role of your (and mine)boss is even tougher...try to think how they feel when we make mistakes and we need to be punished...if we weren't friend probably it will be easier for them too...
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[Thilo]

Inform her about your dilema. When she is a friend, she will understand and try to help.
Can you change in your company? Is it large enough for this? An internal change would help enlarging the network of both you and your boss, thus creating a win-win-situation. Thus, she would be more inclined to support you.
If you find no support, scratch her from your list of friends.

It's always easy to give advice from a remote point, but you will have to find the decision yourself. Everything written here can only be regarded as initiation for consideration of the matter from different points of view.

Wish you success with your decision.

[VSWG]

No need to be sorry, Gary, this is certainly more important than a computer game. Do whatever it takes to get a level head again, and then make a decision. Talk about it with some friends / family members, I'm sure they can help you.

And don't rush a turn in our PBEM just because you think you are obliged to sent me another turn, WitP can wait.

[Yava]

Don't worry man, find another job and things will get better... trust the people that have spoken here, but also take some advice from your family members or some other friends...&nbsp;[:)]

[Raverdave]

Thilo hit the nail on the head......TELL HER about your dilema.....maybe there is another door that is open to you which you are not aware of, either way two heads working on a problem are better than one.&nbsp; And if you do need to move on at least the reason for doing so will be out in the open.
Best of luck mate.

[wworld7]

It sounds like it is time to move on to another postion (either in or out of your company). Once that is done you may still be able to keep your friendship with you fomer boss.

I wish you the best in your voyage.

Flipper

[Sonny]

Get out. I had a slightly similar situation and stayed longer than I should have. It almost drove me crazy and in the end caused bad blood for between us. Just not worth it.[:(]

[m10bob]

She depends upon me to look good to her superiors.

What exactly are YOUR priorities?
You may be carrying a dead horse.
If your "friend" is a "friend", she will neither use you nor abuse you....
Remora need the shark they ride, but it is the shark that moves.....
To thine own self...be true.............[:-]

[Admiral DadMan]

To qoute a line from Amityville Horror, "GET OUT...."

[Drex]

Change is good. I have left previous situations and thought all was lost only to find out it led to better things. It sounds like you are burned out in your present position. A new employer can breathe new life, new motivation. Look on it as an adventure. Don't let depression get the better of you.