Tutorial text suggestions

World in Flames is the computer version of Australian Design Group classic board game. World In Flames is a highly detailed game covering the both Europe and Pacific Theaters of Operations during World War II. If you want grand strategy this game is for you.

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Greyshaft
Posts: 1979
Joined: Mon Oct 27, 2003 1:59 am
Location: Sydney, Australia

Tutorial text suggestions

Post by Greyshaft »

Observations about the tutorial text. These may already have been addressed...

T2 p2 second last para
"And her border with Italy..." starts partially indented. Is this a new para? Question whether to start a sentence with the word "And"

T2 p2 last para
"Guess which path the Axis chose for their attack" needs a question mark.

T2 p8 second para
"The major ports that are adjacent..." is partially indented.
Final sentance in that para starts with a "And"

T2 p11 second para
"Because of the restrictions.." is partially indented.

T2 p12 third para
"There are other mant details..." typo?

T2 p123 last para last sentance
Starts with "And". (I guess we have different writing styles - I won't mention that point again.)
Last sentence ends abruptly "...rear areas are devoid of combat units is"

T2 p14 first para
"especailly" typo?

T3 p6 second para
"Turku..." is partially indented.

T3 p9 second para
Do you want to hyphenate "... an on map naval unit..."

T4 p2
The graphic of the Wavell counter is out of vertical alinement with the others.

T4 p4 first para
"...and ROM is Rumania ..." perhaps spell the country as Romania to match the counter?

T4 p4 second para
"...gun barrell..." typo?

T4 p5 third para
"For example..." is partially indented.

T4 p6 fourth para
"That is..." is partially indented.

T4 p5 fifth para
"... 2 ski div.s and elite ..." typo?

T4 p7 second para
"...when trying to build up your land force depends." Perhaps add" ... on a number of factors."

T4 p8 first para
"...so most hexes have only 1 unit." perhaps worth pointing out which hex has more than 1 unit. I couldn't spot it.

T5 p6 second last para
"Light and Heavy cruisers (Biloxi and Seydlitz) can carrying..." singular syntax?

T5 p6 last para
"Finally, only marines units..." singular for marines?

T5 p10 last para
"All tolled.." should be "All told..."



/Greyshaft
Shannon V. OKeets
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RE: Tutorial text suggestions

Post by Shannon V. OKeets »

Thanks. I made most of the corrections you pointed out.

Starting a sentence with 'And' is poor English but I think it adds to the sense of being in a conversation.

Likewise I only changed "depends." to "depends...".

The hexes with more than 1 unit are identified in the next 2 sentences of that paragraph.

The "partial indents" are due to my insisting on 2 blanks after each period. When the spacing on the line is just right, one blank ends a line and one starts the next line. I'll probably fix the code to identify those special cases and remove the leading blank [someday].
Steve

Perfection is an elusive goal.
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