From here to...well...it SEEMS like an eternity

[bradfordkay]

Can't seem to get those New Yorkers to work much harder...

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: bradfordkay

Can't seem to get those New Yorkers to work much harder...

Precisely! You have a natural business instinct, sir. What is needed is a workforce not accustomed to Union work rules.

[rockmedic109]

The Pentagon {War Department} pays $600 for toilet seats and $400 for hammers without the benefit of M&M's accounting. Thinking about what they can do with M&M would be enough to send a GAO accountant into the nearest bar for a couple shots of mood stabilizer {giving them a stroke when they learn that M&M owns the bar}.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: rockmedic109

The Pentagon {War Department} pays $600 for toilet seats and $400 for hammers without the benefit of M&M's accounting. Thinking about what they can do with M&M would be enough to send a GAO accountant into the nearest bar for a couple shots of mood stabilizer {giving them a stroke when they learn that M&M owns the bar}.

Not to mention the patent to the favorite local drink.

Goodly sized night fight off Auckland. Text to follow.



KEY:

A Japanese surface force of one CL (Yubari) and eight DD's closes on the Huaraki Gulf NE of Auckland with the ostensible purpose of attacking Allied transports debarking the 32nd Inf Div. Available to oppose them are the venerable Nevada, 5 DD's (including some acncient 4-stackers) and the cruisers Vincennes, Atlanta and Nashville. The Americans concetrate on the Northerly passages to the gulf, the Jellicoe Passage to the West of Lesser Barrier Is. and the Craddock Channel to the East which are the most likely approaches to be used by the Japanese. Shore batteries in the area are ordered to hold fire lest they damage friendly ships at night. The Japanese either have not previously spotted the heavier American force or are confident in their night-fighting ability.

1) Emerging from the silhouette of Northland hills to their starboard, the Japanese squadron is sighted first by Nashville and Atlanta from 3000 yds. Familiar with the topography from daytime patrols, the American ships have the range quickly. Though 3rd in line, Murasame is backlit by the moon and is first targeted. Nashville scores hits on her first volley and Atlanta on her second. Vincennes and Nevada struggle to find the range and clearly identify targets. The Japanese commander, now aware of the supeior firepowere arrayed against him orders the employment of his greatest strength, the Long Lance torpedo. While Murasame absorbs hit after hit, he orders a "battle turn around". As the column turns one by one to head North, they fire their starboard torpedoes at the American capital ships less than 3000 yds distant.

2) Desron 5 begins its torpedo attack and attacks, with gunfire, a number of Japanese ships, now lit with searchlights from Atlanta and shore batteries. Failing to anticipate the change in Japanese course, all the USN torpedoes miss.

3) Murasame, now seriously damaged, falls out of line to starboard. Shigure is also burning as is Mutsuki.

4) Atlanta is hit amidships by a single torpedo, suffering serious damage, but still able to make 15 kts.

5) Nevada is also hit by a torpedo, but the torpedo bulge does its job and she does not suffer major damage. Vincennes and Nashville cover the retreat of Nevada and Atlanta, scoring some hits on the retreating Jap column.

6) Yudachi and Sagi now burning. The USN is winning the gunnery battle.

7) The Japanese fire more torpedoes at the pursuing USN DD's, hitting and nearly sinking both USS Pope and USS Smith. Both DD's make harbor later.

8) The Japanese make smoke and break off to North.

[Moondawggie]

Looks like a lot of torps running free in those dark waters! [X(]
 
 

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

Looks like a lot of torps running free in those dark waters! [X(]

Beware the Long Lance. Key added.

[DuckofTindalos]

Supoib work as always, Mandrake!

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Terminus

Supoib work as always, Mandrake!

Thanks...<goes to look up "supoib">

In the classical sense, the USN won the battle as the enemy gave up the "field" and the transports were saved. In terms of ships out of action or requiring shipyard time, the IJN won. If their goal was to drive off surface forces protecting the transports, they succeeded there too, but 32nd ID is safely ashore now.

Of course, the sun hasn't come up yet. And it will come up tomorrow...bet your bottom dollar.

[Cap Mandrake]

The time is 04:30, June 23, 1942. Ground struggle to load torpedoes aboard the 12 operational Beauforts of No. 9 Sdrn, RNZAF and an equal number of Beauforts of No.1 Sdrn, RAAF, which had been transferred to Auckalnd only two weeks earlier in anticipation of a big Jap push. Across the field, the apron is lit up with USAAF groundcrew arming 28 B-17E. As there is likely to be no CAP over their tragets, a RZNAF Kittyhawk squadron at the nearby fighter strip is also being armed in the anti-ship role. A RAAF Kittyhawk squadron will provide top cover.

By 08:20, No. 9 RNZAF have found the damaged Murasame not 100 miles from the Jellicoe Passage. She breaks in half after being struck by a single torpedo. At 08:50, No. 1 RAAF find the dmaged Yudachi and her escort, Mutsuki traveling in a pair, 200 miles North of Auckalnd. Four of their 12 torpedoes hit their marks. Yudachi takes 3 and promptly sinks. Mutsuki suffers one hit and is seen burning heavily. The nearby Kittyhawks also attack Mutsuki but score no hits. Meanwhile, the heavies find Yubari and her escorts 250 miles away. Attacking from 10,000 feet, they find the largely undamaged ships more difficult, landing only one bomb on Yabari. A second, afternoon raid on Yubari, also scores one hit, leaving her afire but not mortally wounded. Only two B-17's are lightly damaged by flak. All other Allied aircraft return safely. Jubilant air crews have evened the score. Two Jap DD's are confirmed sunk and a third likely to sink. Yubari will be in the shop for a while. A "death zone" of 200 miles around Auckland for Japanese shipping without fighter cover is clearly demonstrated.

[/PROPAGANDA]

[Cap Mandrake]

************Anteroom of the Office of the Sec. of the Navy Knox, June 23, 1942***************

A serious fellow in an expensive suit and shoes greets a young man he has never met. The younger man is well cast for the part, well muscled with a broad brow. He looks like he could drive rivets all day. The older man introduces himself, "I. Dunn Cheatham, Esquire. Are you the one they sent down form Actor's Studio?"

"Yes sir."

"Are you ready? We will be meeting the Secretary shortly."

"Well Mr. Cheatham, I was wondering if you could tell me what my motivation is."

"MOTIVATION!? What the Hell do you mean motivation? You motivation is $200. THAT is your motivation! I'll wager that is more money than you have seen in a month."

"No, I meant why is my CHARACTER here?"

"Oh, well, can't you guys speak English? I asked them to brief you. Here is the deal. You are a shipyard worker from Pitcarin. You are here representing the boys at the yard. They have chosen you as a spokesman. You are here to ask a favor of the Secretary of the Navy."

"Very well, but why not send a real worker?"

"Do you have any idea how far away Pitcarin is? Besides, it's dangerous. Lastly, I'm not sure any of them can actually form a complete sentence"

"Ok, that helps. Can you tell me more about them?"

"They are the descendants of Fletcher Christian and his lot. You know, Clark Gable, Charles Laughton."

"Ah, yes. I thought Gable played it too rogueish, if you know what I mean?"

"Look, you are not playing Fletcher Christian himself. You are the product of several generations of inbreeding and social isolation with a breeding stock of malcontents and sociopaths."

"Hmmm. That works." The young man goes off to an interior window and begins making faces in the reflection and making odd vowel sounds, "ooooooooaaaaaaaaaaeaeaeaeuuuuuu".

"F***** actors", the lawyer says to himself. After some time, they are ushered into Sec. Knox's office. He sits behind a beautiful antique desk. After introductions, the young actor makes his plea. Even Cheatham is impressed. The accent seems perfect, a mixture of working class 19th Century England and a lot of cocconut milk. He speaks with a curious mumble which causes the listener to lean forward, straining to understand. "Damn, this kid was worth $200", Cheatham says to himself. Knox seems impressed as well.

When the young man has finished his plea, Knox clears his throat, then speaks, "Young man, you present a very compelling case. Where is Pitcarin? Is that on the Elizabeth River? I should like to visit some day".

Cheatham senses danger and speaks up, "No sir, it is somewhat West of there."

"West, you say? Hmmm, in any event, I am afraid I cannot grant your request to rename the new Enterprise the "Fletcher Christian". We are allied with the Brits, you see, and it would simply not do to name a major USN vessel after a Royal Navy mutineer. On the other hand, the President has directed me to offer a program of corporate sponsorship of the ship
in order to show the committment of American industry to the war effort. For example, the flight deck of the Enterprise will be called the Ford Motor Company Flight Deck and will have 15 foot logos fore and aft. Mr. Ford was so pleased he made a $100,000 contribution to the President's reelection campaign."

"Ahhh", Cheatham thought, "the touch! Very nice, no formal quid pro quo. Plausible deniability. Very clever, much more so than dealing with the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce or even the Mexican government. It made him feel proud his tax dollars were at work." He made a quick calcualtion and reached for his breast pocket, "Sec. Knox, you have reminded me, thank you. Mr. Minderbinder of M&M Shipbuilding has directed me to donate $10,000 to the President's reelection camaign". Cheatham begins writing the check.

"Excellent! Most excellent! Make that out to the Committee for the Advancement of Social Harmony. That's C-A-S-H. Say, Minderbinder, that sounds familiar. Isn't there some third party candidate named Minderbinder?"

"No relation, sir", Cheatham answered as he wrote. He was good at lying, of course. After 25 years of practice, it required no conscious effort, like breathing.

"Minderbinder...hmmm... odd name that. It sounds..well..you know..well, never mind", Sec Knox caught himself, his political training kicking in.

"Yes, odd name", Cheatham answered as he handed over the check.

Knox looked at a ledger and thought out loud, "Hmmm...Officer's wardrom. No that wouldn't do. Westinghouse has the steam turbines, RCA has the radar mast...hmmm...how about the starboard after fuel bunker? The Fletcher Christian fuel bunker!"

"Perfect!", Cheatham exclaimed, "we'll take it". "The boys at Pitcarin will be very pleased."

"Wonderful, now if you gentlemen don't mind", he stood and began escorting them to the door. As he did,he turned to the young man and asked, "You do have a curious way of speaking. Not to be too personal, but do you have something in your cheeks?"........

[rtrapasso]

[:D] [:D]
So, did he still look like this:

[Cap Mandrake]

C***! That was WAY too easy. I suppose it was the bit about something in the cheeks. Damnit!

[USSAmerica]

Yep.&nbsp; [:D]&nbsp; The mental picture was already forming, with the quiet mumbling.&nbsp;
&nbsp;
Sign me up for sponsorship of Elevator #1.&nbsp; [;)]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: USS America

Yep. [:D] The mental picture was already forming, with the quiet mumbling.

Sign me up for sponsorship of Elevator #1. [;)]

Anything with exterior signage will run you mid to high five figures.

[qgaliana]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: USS America

Yep. [:D] The mental picture was already forming, with the quiet mumbling.

Sign me up for sponsorship of Elevator #1. [;)]

Anything with exterior signage will run you mid to high five figures.

5 figures! In 1942 $$$!!! [X(]

How much for the elevator shaft? [:'(]

[rtrapasso]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

C***! That was WAY too easy. I suppose it was the bit about something in the cheeks. Damnit!

Well, it took me a while after i read it (just sorta popped into my head) ... i wouldn't say it was that easy... but yeah, it was the cheeks. [:D]

EDIT: Actually, the Fletcher Christian business also was about 40% responsible.

[rockmedic109]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: USS America

Yep. [:D] The mental picture was already forming, with the quiet mumbling.

Sign me up for sponsorship of Elevator #1. [;)]

Anything with exterior signage will run you mid to high five figures.

At those prices, I might be able to pay for a handle of one of the toilets {Shows me as a landlubber}.

[Cap Mandrake]

We are still waiting for Admiral "Killer King" Tabpub to get back from France (where, it is hoped, by me, that he is not taking a course in the Art of Surrender). The Japs are all lathered up, suffering a severe case of invasion interruptis. Sure I could have gone on alone, taking control of SouthPac, but by waiting, if everything goes into the cespool, I can blame it on Tabpub.


Meanwhile, I may have discovered the neighborhood blockwart. You may recall my effort to "out" my neighbor and my search for garden gnomes failed to prove my suspicions. An encounter I had this week with a slightly more distant neighbor has led to believe that my efforts were displaced. What if there is no blockwart? What if I am really looking for an ally to a blockwart? Call him L’informatore.

Tuesday, I was walking my two labradors on the horse trail. In the interests of efficiency and so that I might enjoy my Tanqueray and Tonic and exercise at the same time (in the evening when I walk the dogs), I have them lashed to my waist with 3/8 in airplane cable. Though freeing my hands to carry enchanting adult beverages, this apparently has the unintended effect of making the dogs seem like bloodthirsty beasts. A young woman was approaching us on a narrow portion of the trail. I could tell she was afraid of the dogs even though the worst thing that might have happened to her was a muddy paw print on her sweats as one of the dogs stood on its hind legs to great her. I chose to take a slight detour onto a neighboring street to let her pass. I glanced at the sign which read "Via ...." but thought nothing of it. If it has said ".......strasse" I might have been concerned, but we are conditioned here to Spanish names. Still, it does occur to me now that "Via" is also Italian. Hmmmmm?

I took a few steps up the street and a late-model SUV with heavily smoked windows began to slow as it approached. The windows seemed much thicker than they need have been. Odd. The passenger side window began to disappear into the door frame and the vehicle stopped. With a voice that had seen 5 lifetimes of cigarettes the driver called out "Aaaay". Just like that. I'm not kidding. No "H" sound. I approached. He didn't sound like he was from around here. Perhaps he was lost?

He looked like a character from the Sopranos. You know, thickly muscled but well insulated after many an indulgant repast. He wore a sports jacket from the 1970's that seemed to bulge assymterically on the left. I imagined he had a nickname like "jimmy the fish" or "tommy nine toes". When he spoke again, he did nothing to dispel the backstory I was forming.

"Aaay. I don't want those dogs cra****g on my lawn. I just picked up two big t***s yesterday and that ain't happened before." He held up his fingers of the left and right hand about 12 inches apart like a fisherman telling a tall tale. I'm not kidding, either. He really said "t****s". A teenage girl in the passenger seat rolled her eyes in embarrassment. Perhaps she was a grandaughter or the daughter of a trophy wife. He was at least 40 years older than she. Anyway, back to the t***s. I could see his thinking. Two t***s, two dogs, QED.

Sure, he was annoying, but caution was called for. He had a formidible organization behind him, the "Family", La Cosa Nostra, also known as the Homeowner's Association. i I was innocent of his charge, of course, but I had no "doggie bag" with me. He could make trouble. Big trouble.

I answered immediately, "Ah, I can see you are a man af great erudition and breeding, a natural consort to Kings and Queens." His scowl deepened after the insult penetrated his thickened skull. He began to reach under his jacket......ah, who am I kidding? That's not what really happened. I might have said, "Hey how is the cement business?" or even "Aaay paisano". Instead I merely explained I had not been on the street before and expressed my sympathy about the inciddent with the t***s.

He grunted back in recognition and pulled away. For the rest of the walk, I held the dogs tightly and scanned the bushes ahead and to my sides for a telltale reflection off a telephoto lens. I don't think I was followed, but I have checked every day since for a letter from the HA entitled "pet excrement violation" or some such thing. So far, nothing, but I am sure it went into my dossier.

[Alfred]

Cap Mandrake,
&nbsp;
Two labradors!&nbsp; Excellent choice.&nbsp; Are they black and svelte?
&nbsp;
May I suggest that you proceed on roller skates and allow yourself to be towed by the labradors.&nbsp; Without needing to concentrate on planting your feet, you will be able to better enjoy your Tanquery and Tonic.&nbsp; Also if you do spot a telephoto lens you will be able to move away at greater flank speed.
&nbsp;
Alfred
&nbsp;

[rtrapasso]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

We are still waiting for Admiral "Killer King" Tabpub to get back from France (where, it is hoped, by me, that he is not taking a course in the Art of Surrender). The Japs are all lathered up, suffering a severe case of invasion interruptis. Sure I could have gone on alone, taking control of SouthPac, but by waiting, if everything goes into the cespool, I can blame it on Tabpub.


Meanwhile, I may have discovered the neighborhood blockwart. You may recall my effort to "out" my neighbor and my search for garden gnomes failed to prove my suspicions. An encounter I had this week with a slightly more distant neighbor has led to believe that my efforts were displaced. What if there is no blockwart? What if I am really looking for an ally to a blockwart? Call him L’informatore....

... So far, nothing, but I am sure it went into my dossier.

Mandrake's unspoken message to the Homeowner's Association: