Men Are Just Happier People

[Brigz]

A female friend sent this to me. Yeah, it's pretty cool being a guy.

Men Are Just Happier People

What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Graying hair adds attraction. Wedding dress~$5000. Tux rental~$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.

[JeF]

All true. Well, quite. [:D]

Love it. Thanks Dave.

JeF.

[JudgeDredd]

Yep - makes sense

[Twotribes]

Notice most of the "things" that make women's lives complicated are a matter of Choice? They chose to obsess over petty things then get huffy cause men don't.

[Twotribes]

Men don't expect others ( especially other men) to guess what they mean. We don't assume every comment is a veiled dig on our weight or looks either. If we want something we ask for it or get it ourself, we don't couch our question in cryptic nonsense and then get upset when the other person doesn't "figure" out what we really meant. We don't set our friends and spouses up with misleading questions or comments either.

If we are mad about something we don't pretend we are not and get madder and madder cause no one has figured out we are already mad. If someone upsets us we either forget it or tell them, we don't brood about it and plot revenge unless they figure out we are mad.

[JudgeDredd]

ORIGINAL: Twotribes

...We don't assume every comment is a veiled dig on our weight or looks either...

...If we are mad about something we don't pretend we are not and get madder and madder cause no one has figured out we are already mad...

I'm afriad that is very much part of my genetic makeup. [&:]

I am exactly like that and I feel sorry for my wife for having to put up with it. [&o]

[parusski]

My life is only complicated when my wife is home(she travels about 5 months a year). No wonder men do sooner than their wives.

[SMK-at-work]

Men die sooner than women because it is the only way out.

[fatehunter]

you sad sorry men.

i have completely figured out my wife and now about five minutes thought and half an hour of effort and she is totally happy, sated and loving.

it's so easy.

I offer a course. It's only $443982qu40398.00

[ravinhood]

And we don't withhold sex when we are mad either.

Men die sooner than their wives because they want to.

[KG Erwin]

So, the real reason we enjoy wargames so much is that we can wantonly destroy un-named and impersonal banes to our existence, with the full knowledge that our wives/ girlfriends are indestructible.

Get used to it, guys. We are now, and always have been, the weaker sex. Once you realize this, but meanwhile perfect the art of diplomacy/manipulation, you will live a MUCH happier life. It's the toughest mix of gaming/reality you will ever play.

Face it guys, we are all whipped, to a greater or lesser degree. So, all this macho posturing is simply puffing up our feathers. The women hold all the cards, and that's just the way it is.

[Brigz]

ORIGINAL: KG Erwin
Face it guys, we are all whipped, to a greater or lesser degree. So, all this macho posturing is simply puffing up our feathers. The women hold all the cards, and that's just the way it is.

Yeah, maybe, but the key is not to let them know it. The funny thing is, they complain all the time about how guys act, but if your don't act like a guy, they won't respect you. So it all boils down to the same old thing... damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

[KG Erwin]

ORIGINAL: Dave Briggs

ORIGINAL: KG Erwin
Face it guys, we are all whipped, to a greater or lesser degree. So, all this macho posturing is simply puffing up our feathers. The women hold all the cards, and that's just the way it is.

Yeah, maybe, but the key is not to let them know it. The funny thing is, they complain all the time about how guys act, but if your don't act like a guy, they won't respect you. So it all boils down to the same old thing... damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

Dave, are you currently married?

[Brigz]

ORIGINAL: KG Erwin

ORIGINAL: Dave Briggs

ORIGINAL: KG Erwin
Face it guys, we are all whipped, to a greater or lesser degree. So, all this macho posturing is simply puffing up our feathers. The women hold all the cards, and that's just the way it is.

Yeah, maybe, but the key is not to let them know it. The funny thing is, they complain all the time about how guys act, but if your don't act like a guy, they won't respect you. So it all boils down to the same old thing... damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

Dave, are you currently married?

Been divorced for many, many years but I am "attached" currently. Not the same as being married but I seem to prefer it. I seem to have suffered permanent damage from my first marriage. Also, bare in mind that this is primarily a "guys" forum so a lot of what I say about women is probably 50% BS and needs to be taken with a large grain of salt. I love women and am quite aware that you can't put much past them. They know what's going on. As a matter of fact one is reading this right now and slowly shaking her head back an forth with arms folded. Uh....gotta go now.

[Zap]

Dave Briggs, i caught the spirit of your post only thing is I'm on a low sodium diet no grains of salt for me.[:)]

Good fun thanks.

[parusski]

ORIGINAL: parusski

My life is only complicated when my wife is home(she travels about 5 months a year). No wonder men do sooner than their wives.

I must stop typing after too many shots of Bushmills Irish whiskey.

I meant to say "NO WONDER MEN DIE SONNER THAN THEIR WIVES."

[parusski]

ravinhood I think you are correct. We do want to die sooner to escape the nagging. Good observation.

[ravinhood]

After going thru life and now 51, I really don't understand the reasoning behind men getting married?? You couldn't pay me to marry another woman for a lifetime. It totally disrupts your lifestyle when you get married. More or less though women brought all this upon themselves with civil rights, equal rights and wanting a penis. lol

[Brigz]

ORIGINAL: ravinhood

After going thru life and now 51, I really don't understand the reasoning behind men getting married?? You couldn't pay me to marry another woman for a lifetime. It totally disrupts your lifestyle when you get married. More or less though women brought all this upon themselves with civil rights, equal rights and wanting a penis. lol

What's wrong with women wanting a penis? I've given mine to many of them.

[JudgeDredd]

ORIGINAL: parusski

ORIGINAL: parusski

My life is only complicated when my wife is home(she travels about 5 months a year). No wonder men do sooner than their wives.

I must stop typing after too many shots of Bushmills Irish whiskey.

I meant to say "NO WONDER MEN DIE SONNER THAN THEIR WIVES."

Were you drinking Bushmills whilst typing a reply to correct a typo whilst inserting a new typo and stating that you should stop posting whilst drinking Bushmills? lmao