Men Are Just Happier People

[ravinhood]

ORIGINAL: Dave Briggs

ORIGINAL: ravinhood

After going thru life and now 51, I really don't understand the reasoning behind men getting married?? You couldn't pay me to marry another woman for a lifetime. It totally disrupts your lifestyle when you get married. More or less though women brought all this upon themselves with civil rights, equal rights and wanting a penis. lol

What's wrong with women wanting a penis? I've given mine to many of them.

LOL ROFLMAO [:D]

[KG Erwin]

OK, guys, it's Mother's Day weekend, so it's time to consider sending cards (and perhaps late child-support payments) to the mothers of your known children. [:'(]

[Brigz]

ORIGINAL: JudgeDredd

ORIGINAL: parusski

ORIGINAL: parusski

My life is only complicated when my wife is home(she travels about 5 months a year). No wonder men do sooner than their wives.

I must stop typing after too many shots of Bushmills Irish whiskey.

I meant to say "NO WONDER MEN DIE SONNER THAN THEIR WIVES."

Were you drinking Bushmills whilst typing a reply to correct a typo whilst inserting a new typo and stating that you should stop posting whilst drinking Bushmills? lmao

Definately FUBAR.

[a white rabbit]

ORIGINAL: Dave Briggs

ORIGINAL: KG Erwin
Face it guys, we are all whipped, to a greater or lesser degree. So, all this macho posturing is simply puffing up our feathers. The women hold all the cards, and that's just the way it is.

Yeah, maybe, but the key is not to let them know it. The funny thing is, they complain all the time about how guys act, but if your don't act like a guy, they won't respect you. So it all boils down to the same old thing... damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

..wot 'e said..

..mind you, s'easier as a farmer, what you're really married to is your land (or Mother Nature), and, err and, the human-she comes somewhere just above your favourite bitch and brood mare in the voting...

..after all, they can't cook breakfast, nor do accounts..[8D]

[Brigz]

This has probably been posted before but I ran across it recently and it is appropriate.

[JudgeDredd]

I've seen that loads, Dave, but it always makes me chuckle!

[robpost3]

[:D] goes along with this:
HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN EVERY TIME
Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, hone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice for, ply, accessorize, leave, return, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, show equality for, spackle, oblige, fascinate, attend, implore, bawl, shower, shave, trust, grovel, ignore, defend, coax, clothe, brag about, acquiesce, aromate, fuse, fizz, rationalize, detoxify, sanctify, help, acknowledge, polish, upgrade, spoil, embrace, accept, butter-up, hear, understand, jitterbug, locomote, beg, plead, borrow, steal, climb, swim, nurse, resuscitate, repair, patch, crazy-glue, respect, entertain, calm, allay, kill for, die for, dream of, promise, deliver, tease, flirt, commit, enlist, pine, cajole, angelicize, murmur, snuggle, snoozle, snurfle, elevate, enervate, alleviate, spotweld, serve, rub, rib, salve, bite, taste, nibble, gratify, take her places, scuttle like a crab on the ocean floor of her existence, diddle, doodle, hokey-pokey, hanky-panky, crystal blue persuade, flip, flop, fly, don't care if I die, swing, slip, slide, slather, mollycoddle, squeeze, moisturize, humidify, lather, tingle, slam-dunk, keep on rockin' in the free world, wet, slicken, undulate, gelatinize, brush, tingle, dribble, drip, dry, knead, puree, fluff, fold, blue-coral wax, ingratiate, indulge, wow, dazzle, amaze, flabbergast, enchant, idolize and worship, and then go back, Jack, and do it again.

HOW TO SATISFY A MAN EVERY TIME

Show up naked.

[Brigz]

ORIGINAL: robpost3

HOW TO SATISFY A MAN EVERY TIME

Show up naked.

I also heard:

Show up naked... with beer and pizza.
(I mean, what are you gonna do after the first five minutes are up?)

[robpost3]

ORIGINAL: Dave Briggs

ORIGINAL: robpost3

HOW TO SATISFY A MAN EVERY TIME

Show up naked.

I also heard:

Show up naked... with beer and pizza.
(I mean, what are you gonna do after the first five minutes are up?)

Cheese and crackers, you are right!
That is one of the most scared trines there is...auk...thanks for saving this heathen[:D]

[Arctic Blast]

Well, the beer and pizza is more of a 'special occasions' kinda thing.