From here to...well...it SEEMS like an eternity

[Cap Mandrake]

*********Area Combined Headquarters, Southwestern, Fremantle, July 28, 1942***********

Gen. Blamey: Wing Commander, what have you to soften up the two Jap brigades near Geraldton?

Wing Cdr., Hoslwich, RAAF, Allied Air Boss for Perth/Fremantle ACHq: Sir, as we are to lose 19th Bomber Group, I could spare the two Dutch B-25 groups, No. 18 RAAF, also with the B-25, No. 13 equipped with the Beaufort and No. 14, flying Hudsons. No. 113, RAF, equipped with Wellingtons should be arriving from Ceylon in 2-3 days. They will take some time as the aircraft are crated. Not counting the Wellingtons, that is nearly 100 medium bombers.

Gen. Blamey:Splenid! See to it. Now, General Savige, what is your situation?

Gen Savige, in command Allied land forces, Perth: Sir, we have identified two full Jap divisions in line on the Moore River positions, 16th and 38th. He is well equipped with artillery but all enemy counterbattery fire has essentially ceased. Our best guess is this is a supply issue. On our side, 3rd Division are chomping at the bit. 22nd Brigade is at about 50% TO&E but are keen to take revenge for Singapore. British 29th Brigade are quite green but are well led, in my opinion. The left Ceylon on such short notice, they were not equipped with maps of the battle area. We have had to scramble a bit with maps from petrol stations and the like.

Gen. Blamey: Splendid!. 13 and 27 Brigades as well as 3rd Armoured are just North of Geraldton and are opposed by two Jap brigades plus various support elements. 1st Divison have nearly arrived Geraldton by rail.

Gen Savige: I'm sorry sir. Did you just say "rail"?

Gen. Blamey: Yes, yes, of course. Does that surprise you?

Gen Savige:<pauses briefly to make some quick political calcualtions> Why, no. I suppose it doesn't, sir.

Gen. Blamey: Splendid! Anyway, when 1st Division have detrained, I have ordered them along with forces already present to push the Jap off their beach lodgement. There shant be any rescue by sea, green dot on the map or not.

Gen Savige: Yes sir, their landing there was rather unsporting.

Gen. Blamey: Unsporting! I'd say it was rather a bloody war crime. The Prime Minister was quite perturbed after the promises I made him. Anyway, I'd say we are damn neat to having 100,000 of the enemy in the bag. I shall want your group to be ready to go, in echelon, after 1st Division push off.

Gen Savige: Yes sir!

Gen. Blamey: Splendid! By the way, how is the spay and neutering plan going?

[Cap Mandrake]

..

[Cap Mandrake]

This is one of the reasons. The Buckland Hill Battery. [:)]

[Cap Mandrake]

Or this. One of two 9 inch guns at Overshill Battery. BTW, this isn't in the OOB at the start, but may have been added later in the war.

[Cap Mandrake]

Cool map for fighter pilots over Darwin (1944). Note it shows where a beach landing of aircraft is possible.

[Cap Mandrake]

********Main Aerodrome (nicknamed Swiss Cheese Field), Port Moresby, 06:50, July 31, 1942*******


Sargeant Sysiphus is groaning and cursing as he and another of the repair crew struggle to put a pin in a damaged segment of tread on one of the 3 last remaining serviceable bulldozers. The crew have been working all night repairing bomb damage to the runway and he has orders to get all equipment under cover by 07:00. He isn't going to make that deadline. Even worse, the runway still looks like a moonscape. He glances at his watch between curses. "God Damned Army!" An air raid siren begins to whine just as the socket wrench slips and he donates his knuckles to the war effort. "GOD DAMNED ARMY BULLDOZERS!"

[rtrapasso]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

..

[:D] [:D] [:D]

Gen. Blamey: Splendid! By the way, how is the spay and neutering plan going?

These are really funny in juxtaposition... [X(] [:'(]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

Gen. Blamey: Splendid! By the way, how is the spay and neutering plan going?

These are really funny in juxtaposition... [X(] [:'(]

I have a feeling "neutering" of Allied airmen would be a drain on morale. Handing out free condoms is probably better.

[Cap Mandrake]

************Red Cross Meal Tent, Ledo, July 28,1942******************


Perky Red Cross Volunteer in crisp apron serving stewed tomatoes: <He is an Anglican Priest. He smiles empathetically at a rather dishevled looking soldier> Welcome to beautiful Ledo, son, would you like some stewed tomatoes on this fine morning?

Soldier: Oh, bugger off Padre! <he looks disparagingly at the tomatoes and moves on down the line. The volunteer is clearly hurt>

Second Volunteer: <leans toward the man in apron and says quietly> I shouldn't worry about that. He's from 2nd Mountain Artillery. They are just back from Myitkinia. They are all like that. It's the place that does it. You'll get used to it. <leans forward with a ladle full of chipped beef for another soldier> Salted beef son?

Second Soldier: Looks like ******* monkey meat to me. Sod it!

[Cap Mandrake]

***********Officer's Club, 90th BS(M), Wellington, August 2, 1942****************


Milo: I am worried Yossarian.

Yossarian: How so?

Milo: Well, it's the Japs.

Yossarian: Are they trying to kill you too, Milo?

Milo: No, on the contrary, it's just the opposite.

Yossarian: I am confused, Milo, you crazy SOB. Wouldn't that normally be a good thing?

Milo: Yes, normaly, but part of M&M corporate strategy is the advocay of panic and irrational behavior. The panic buyer is our friend.

Yossarian: I still don't see where the Japs come in.

Milo: Well, it now looks like the bastards AREN'T going to invade NZ.

Yossarian: The Bastards! I have never thrusted them, myself.

Milo: Oh, neither have I, of course, but I have been able to reach agreement in the past via "alignment of incentives" <makes air quotes>. M&M shipbuilding has just layed 3 new keels for icebreakers at Pitcairn. And these were on spec too, we have no contracct. I was counting on the Japs taking South Island and driving Allied shipping toward the Antarctic ice shelf. Now what am I going to do with them? Plus, it dashes any hope of a Yossarian's Home orphanage in Wellington.

Yossarian: The BASTARDS!

Milo: Yes! The Bastards! <the sound of ice being crushed by two heavy duty starter motors is heard>

Yossarian: The Bastards! By the way, how is the campaign going?

Milo: I think we have Gilroy sewn up but there is a problem. It seem the Flt. Lt. can't be Vice President. He is not from America. It's in the Constitution.

Yossarian: The Bastards!....That is not all he is not from, by the way.

Milo: Hmmm?

Yossarian: Never mind. It's a long story. What are you going to do?

Milo: Do you want to be Vice President?

Yossarian: I thought I was already?

Milo: No, I mean of the United States.

Yossarian: Oh! I thought I was going to be Sec. of State?

Milo: I just promoted you. <the Chief brings over a couple of Margaritas> Thanks Chief. Can you give one to the Secret Service guys too? <turns back to Yossarian> TO THE TICKET!

Yossarian: TO THE TICKET!

[MightyPaladin]

I don't post often, but the crack the Philippino pilot made about the Wirraways made me spit soda on my keyboard, thought I would share [:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: MightyPaladin

I don't post often, but the crack the Philippino pilot made about the Wirraways made me spit soda on my keyboard, thought I would share [:D]

Hope the keyboard still works [:)]

Here is a picture of the chap. He will be lucky to make it through the war with those yellow fatigues.

[BrucePowers]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

********Main Aerodrome (nicknamed Swiss Cheese Field), Port Moresby, 06:50, July 31, 1942*******


Sargeant Sysisphus is groaning and cursing as he and another of the repair crew struggle to put a pin in a damaged segment of tread on one of the 3 last remaining serviceable bulldozers. The crew have been working all night repairing bomb damage to the runway and he has orders to get all equipment under cover by 07:00. He isn't going to make that deadline. Even worse, the runway still looks like a moonscape. He glances at his watch between curses. "God Damned Army!" An air raid siren begins to whine just as the socket wrench slips and he donates his knuckles to the war effort. "GOD DAMNED ARMY BULLDOZERS!"

Just got finished rereading M*A*S*H again. Are Hawkeye, Trapper and Me Lay going to show up for the Port Moresby Open?[:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Just got finished rereading M*A*S*H again. Are Hawkeye, Trapper and Me Lay going to show up for the Port Moresby Open?[:D]

Crickey! Can't I steal anything around here without someone noticing?
[/quote]

********Swiss Cheese Field, Port Moresby, 08:30, August 3, 1942*******

Sargeant Sysiphus surveys the North end of the runway with real satisfaction. There were no Jap bombers yesterday, just a couple of Zeroes. With this respite, his crew had 1/4 of the runway repaired. RAAF C47's made 8 sorties yesterday from Cooktown with no losses. Even a few Catalinas were bringing in much needed supplies. This was no accdent. A daring raid by B-24's from Cairns had, by all reports, devastated Jap aircraft at Lae. Now, if they could just get a break in the weather, they just might get the runways open again. The repair was now a 24 hr affair, in 12 hr. shifts. As one of his crew wheeled one of the last drums of diesel fuel into place, his heart sank. The familiar siren began to wail again....

[Cap Mandrake]

*******SIC (Seance Information Center), SouthPacHQ, Wellington, NZ, August 3, 1942*********


Capt. Yossarian (in favorite Lemba Voodoo outfit): <the lights are subdued, there is a curious herbal scent in the room. A paisley tablecloth covers the table, but is partly covered by black velvet. After muttering some incomprehensible incantations, Yossarian throws his cup of bones onto the felt. He closes his eyes and joins hands with Adm Ghormley and Wing Cmdr. Hicks, RNZAF. He opens his eyes with a start as if he has seen a terrifying vison. The two officers lean forward in anticipation>

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh....Uhhhhhhhhhh....Ohmmmmmmm.....Radio emissions are detected near Tokyo! <Ghormley looks askance at Hicks and knits his brow..Yossarian looks intently at a slender bone which lies at right angles to a shorter bone>

Oyyyyyyyyy!....The Amami Oshima fortress is on Amami Island...<Ghormley sits more upright and seems quite annoyed>

Aiiieeeee!.....The Camranh Bay Force is at Camranh Bay...<Ghormley makes a groaning sound>

I feel a presence! Oyyyyyyyyy! There are 273,842 men at Sasebo!

Adm Ghormley: OK, THAT'S IT! <stands up and leans close to Yossarian> Are you sure it isn't 273,843? This is crap!

Capt. Yossarian (in favorite Lemba Voodoo outfit): Sir, you have broken the circle. I can't check on it when the circle is broken.

Adm Ghormley: If this keeps up, the circle won't be the only thing broken around here. I was being sarcastic you dumb ass. From a military standpoint it DOESN'T MATTER whether there are 273,842 or 273,843 men on Sasebo. And the Amami Fortress is on Amami Island? What kind of supernatural force is required to divine that? It is a fixed fortification, son! It isn't going anywhere! Next you will be telling us the White House is in Washington.

Capt. Yossarian (in favorite Lemba Voodoo outfit): <looks at bones> I can't see that sir.

Adm Ghormley: <violently upends the table and sends little bones all over the SIC> FORGET ABOUT THE WHITE HOUSE, YOU IDIOT! WHAT ABOUT THE JAPANESE ARMY YOU SAID WAS PLANNING FOR DUNEDIN? WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY? AND THE JAP CARRIERS? WHERE ARE THEY? THAT IS WHAT I NEED TO KNOW, YOU IMBECILE. RADIO EMISSIONS AT TOKYO! RADIO EMSSIONS AT TOKYO! OH, WOE BETIDE US! WHAT SHALL WE DO? YOU ARE SO FIRED! GET OUT OF MY SIC!

Capt. Yossarian (in favorite Lemba Voodoo outfit): You don't want to hear about the engineer regiment on Paramushiro Jima, sir?

Adm Ghormley: OUT! GET OUT! NOW! DON'T COM'E BACK UNTIL YOU HAVE SOMETHING SOLID ABOUT THE KIDO BUTAI! GOD DAMNED WASTE OF MY TIME! HOLDING HANDS? CHRIST, I TOOK A BIG CHANCE ON THIS! THEY ARE PROBABLY HAVING A GOOD CHUCKLE OVER THIS AT PEARL EVEN NOW. GET OUT NOW! Hicks, you are in on this as deep as I. I need you to keep your mouth shut. <turns to Yossarian> WHAT PART OF "GET OUT" DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?......

[qgaliana]

I might add I love "Sgt Sysiphus".
&nbsp;
Can't recall, did he make an appearance in WWIIa?

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: qgaliana

I might add I love "Sgt Sysiphus".

Can't recall, did he make an appearance in WWIIa?

I am sure he was in the war somewhere. Now he has found himself dead square center in the bloody bulls eye of it.[X(]

**************Swiss Cheese Airfield, Port Moresby, 07:55, August 4, 1942************


Another long night, another 12 bomb craters repaired. As soon as the compactor had made its last pass, the tarring crew moved in. The Sargeant's strategy was to work from the North end of the runway in order to open just enough for a laden C-47. The weather was cool enough that the transports could land over the freshly oiled and sanded repairs after only two hrs., provided the Helens or Bettys didn't pay a visit. Despite his fatigue, he was satisfied. His crews knew what to do and the incramental progress they were making every day buoyed everyone's spirits. Even better, there had been no air raid siren yet today. Unguarded optimism can be a dangerous thing, but misplaced optimism was not the only dangerous thing about this morning. A sound of the atmosphere above his head being torn apart against its will intruded on his thinking. This was followed by a tremendous explosion with secondaries near one of the the AAA batteries not 200 yds away. As he climbed off the tarmac, a fresh coat of tar and sand on his fatigues, he looked seaward and, through a thining mist he saw perhaps 20 enemy ships moving into position. Yellow-orange flashes erupted from many.

"HOLY SHIT!"

[BrucePowers]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Just got finished rereading M*A*S*H again. Are Hawkeye, Trapper and Me Lay going to show up for the Port Moresby Open?[:D]

Crickey! Can't I steal anything around here without someone noticing?

[/quote]

You caught me with that 2 days after rereading the book for about the 5th time in 20 years. I love that book and the sequel M*A*S*H Goes to Maine.

[USSAmerica]

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Just got finished rereading M*A*S*H again. Are Hawkeye, Trapper and Me Lay going to show up for the Port Moresby Open?[:D]

Crickey! Can't I steal anything around here without someone noticing?

You caught me with that 2 days after rereading the book for about the 5th time in 20 years. I love that book and the sequel M*A*S*H Goes to Maine.

[/quote]

I've never read the book, but I own the movie, and "that guy who was on the Partridge Family" and his jeep in Japan immediately came to mind. [:D]

[BrucePowers]

In this case, the book and the movie were the same.[:D]