From here to...well...it SEEMS like an eternity

[qgaliana]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

Sgt. Sysiphus: That little thing? Yes, it heads to a rum still, but it dead ends. Would you like some rum sir?

Cpt. Prometheus: Thanks, Sgt., but I can't. It's the liver, you know.

[:D] [:D]

Good to see someone was paying attention in Mythology 101 [:)]

I was just thinking you finally found some use for a classical education [:D]

[BrucePowers]

Grammer and rhetoric.[:)] There's always a use for grammer and rhetoric[:'(]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: qgaliana

I was just thinking you finally found some use for a classical education [:D]

Cool! Now the list includes crossword puzzles, competing on Jeopardy and After Action Reports!


I have not found it much use in meeting women.

[Moondawggie]

By any chance were Captain Binghampton and Ensign "Tim Conway" aboard the Santa Ana as well?  With Ernie Borgnine and his crew now in the theater, Milo is going to face some serious competition!  [:'(]
 
BTW, what was McHale's Boat?  PT-103? 

[Cap Mandrake]

..(Previously posted date was wrong)

[bobogoboom]

Go Ausies i agree with the earlier people this war is getting realy good. Were you able to get any fragments out of PM?

[rtrapasso]

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

By any chance were Captain Binghampton and Ensign "Tim Conway" aboard the Santa Ana as well?  With Ernie Borgnine and his crew now in the theater, Milo is going to face some serious competition!  [:'(]

BTW, what was McHale's Boat?  PT-103? 

[X(] [:-] -
It was PT-73!! [:'(]

[Cap Mandrake]

*********Operations Room, beneath Admiralty HQ, London, August 21, 1942*******


First Sea Lord, Sir Dudley Pound surveys a huge map of the North Atlantic and Mediterranean from an elevated chair. He works his way through a stack of papers to be signed. An assistant approaches with a telephone.

Assistant: Sir, it's Lady Pound.

Sir Dudley: <takes phone> Hello dear. What is the matter?

Lady Pound: Dudley, I am glad I caught you. I just received some frightful news from Elizabeth. It seems......

<Sir Dudley feels his attention waning. He is instead drawn to the wooden model of Ark Royal. She is escorting a large convoy toward Gibraltar where the German submarine threat will rise. A young woman who, curiously, is the replacement for Yossarians's "girlfriend" (you know, the one he was never with in the "Bibilical sense"..that one), stands at attention near the map table, one hand pressing a headphone to her ear. Her uniform is perfectly pressed and her hair neatly tucked under her cap. In the other hand, she grasps a long stick shaped like a pool bridge. At some signal over the headphone she leans forward to reposition the Ark Royal convoy. Gibraltar is nearly in the center of the map so it requires an athletic move on her part.>

......Dudley, are you listening?

Sir Dudley: Yes dear.

Lady Pound: Did you not hear me then? It's your nephew, Reginald. He has gone missing in the Indian Ocean. Elizabeth said something about a "catastrophic canopy failure during inverted flight,whatever that means. <at the precise instant that Lady pound is finishing her news, the Ark Royal Girl leans forward pushing Ark Royal toward Gibraltar with the pool bridge and lifting her opposite leg for balance. They are no ordinary legs. They are long and young and tan and lovely. As she strains forward it occurs to Sir Dudley there is room to pass a snifter of Dramabuie between them. For an ephemera, he catches a glance of her undergarments and the unmistakable Union Jack>

Sir Dudley: <a part of his brain he shares with crocodiles and pit vipers forces him to draw in his breath, followed quickly by a groaning sound> Uhhhhhhhahhah

Lady Pound: <moved by the old Admiral's reaction> Oh, I am so sorry dear.

Sir Dudley: "Neocortex on the bridge. Wake up you fool!" <it is his brain's higher centers trying to reassert conrol...it works, thanks, in no small part to the return of the Ark Royal Girl's leg to terra firma> Oh, oh, yes dear. Thank you for your support. Terrible thing it is. Please get some kind of sympathy message to Elizabeth from me and spare no expense.

Lady Pound: I will Dudley. Some lillies perhaps.

Sir Dudley: That would be lovely....Oh dear, don't wait dinner for me tonight. Something's come up with the Ark Royal Girl..er...I mean the Old Girl Ark Royal.....

[HMS Resolution]

Surely the Ark Royal has already been sunk by now? How blaggardly of Sir Dudley, having a WREN on hand just to push a model of a ship that's already sunk. The old lecher...
&nbsp;
Hermes' captain must be thrilled to be allowed to slow down the other carriers. How did he ever persuade Somerville and Phillips?

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: HMS Resolution
Surely the Ark Royal has already been sunk by now? How blaggardly of Sir Dudley, having a WREN on hand just to push a model of a ship that's already sunk. The old lecher...

The oldest trick in the book.

At a certain office of a company that shall remain nameless... one department that was a bit tight on space had located a printer for documents from a certain corporate system on top of a fairly high filing cabinet. Retrieving printouts and adding paper required standing on a step-stool and stretching up - unless you were tall, and the girl who had the job job wasn't.

Amazing how long it took them to remodel. [:D]

[cantona2]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*********Operations Room, beneath Admiralty HQ, London, August 21, 1942*******


First Sea Lord, Sir Dudley Pound surveys a huge map of the North Atlantic and Mediterranean from an elevated chair. He works is way through a stack of papers to be signed. An assistant approaches with a telephone.

Assistant: Sir, it's Lady Pound.

Sir Dudley: <takes phone> Hello dear. What is the matter?

Lady Pound: Dudley, I am glad I caught you. I just received some frightful news from Elizabeth. It seems......

<Sir Dudley feels his attention waning. He is instead drawn to the wooden model of Ark Royal. She is escorting a large convoy toward Gibraltar where the German submarine threat will rise. A young woman who, curiously, is the replacement for Yossarians's "girlfriend" (you know, the one he was never with in the "Bibilical sense"..that one), stands at attention near the map table, one hand pressing a headphone to her ear. Her uniform is perfectly pressed and her hair neatly tucked under her cap. In the other hand, she grasps a long stick shaped like a pool bridge. At some signal over the headphone she leans forward to reposition the Ark Royal convoy. Gibraltar is nearly in the center of the map so it requires an athletic move on her part.>

......Dudley, are you listening?

Sir Dudley: Yes dear.

Lady Pound: Did you not hear me then? It's your nephew, Reginald. He has gone missing in the Indian Ocean. Elizabeth said something about a "catastrophic canopy failure during inverted flight,whatever that means. <at the precise instant that Lady pound is finishing her news, the Ark Royal Girl leans forward pushing Ark Royal toward Gibraltar with the pool bridge and lifting her opposite leg for balance. They are no ordinary legs. They are long and young and tan and lovely. As she strains forward it occurs to Sir Dudley there is room to pass a snifter of Dramabuie between them. For an ephemera, he catches a glance of her undergarments and the unmistakable Union Jack>

Sir Dudley: <a part of his brain he shares with crocodiles and pit vipers forces him to draw in his breath, followed quickly by a groaning sound> Uhhhhhhhahhah

Lady Pound: <moved by the old Admiral's reaction> Oh, I am so sorry dear.

Sir Dudley: "Neocortex on the bridge. Wake up you fool!" <it is his brain's higher centers trying to reassert conrol...it works, thanks, in no small part to the return of the Ark Royal Girl's leg to terra firma> Oh, oh, yes dear. Thank you for your support. Terrible thing it is. Please get some kind of sympathy message to Elizabeth from me and spar no expense.

Lady Pound: I will Dudley. Some lillies perhaps.

Sir Dudley: That would be lovely....Oh dear, don't wait dinner for me tonight. Somethings come up with the Ark Royal Girl..er...I mean the Old Girl Ark Royal.....

Hey Hey my Rock gets a mention, well done Captain Mandake, deserves a promotion to Admiral [:D]

[Cuttlefish]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
They are no ordinary legs. They are long and young and tan and lovely.

Of course they aren't ordinary legs, they're the legs from Ipanema!

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: HMS Resolution

Surely the Ark Royal has already been sunk by now? How blaggardly of Sir Dudley, having a WREN on hand just to push a model of a ship that's already sunk. The old lecher...

Arrggh! Why doesn't someone tell me this stuff ahead of time? [:'(] It's like trying to sell refrigerator short stories to Frigidaire repairmen around here. [:)]

Hermes' captain must be thrilled to be allowed to slow down the other carriers. How did he ever persuade Somerville and Phillips?

Yes.... well it seems the cupboards are a bit bare at Eastern Fleet HQ after the first battle of Perth, loss of Repulse and recall of another Royal Sovereign class. Plus, the other RN carriers must have about 2 feet of barnacles on their hull by now as they don't seem to push their way through the water so fast any more. Hermes has been at Colombo with fresh paint, new bathroom fixtures, recessed lighting...etc, etc.

Lastly Somerville is lucky to have his skin intact..more to come on that. The second battle of Perth is turning into, with apologies to that certain chap with the extra long neck, the "mother of all battles". It is sucking in resources from all over. This is no limit poker and someone is going to lose big.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Cuttlefish

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
They are no ordinary legs. They are long and young and tan and lovely.

Of course they aren't ordinary legs, they're the legs from Ipanema!

.....And when she passes

each one she passes goes "a-a-ah!"....

Poor Dudley didn't have a chance.

[rtrapasso]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: HMS Resolution

Surely the Ark Royal has already been sunk by now? How blaggardly of Sir Dudley, having a WREN on hand just to push a model of a ship that's already sunk. The old lecher...

Arrggh! Why doesn't someone tell me this stuff ahead of time? [:'(] It's like trying to sell refrigerator short stories to Frigidaire repairmen around here. [:)]

[/quote][/quote]

It's WWIIb (or c or something....). Ark Royal is still floating around in that variation of the multiverse, methinks...

[BrucePowers]

Yes. Yes. That explanation works!!!!!![:)]

[Cap Mandrake]

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another which states that this has already happened.

Editors Note: A number of readers have wondered how something could have come up with Sir Dudley while he was watching the Ark Royal Girl leaning over the map table in late August 1942 when the Ark Royal was sunk by a German subamrine in late 1941. More succinctly, why was the Ark Royal Girl working at the Admiralty in late 1942 and why wasn't she the Rodney Girl or some such thing? We have debated this very thoroughly. The best explanation seems to be the proven German spy who worked under the alias "Jane". There is strong evidence that in early December, 1941(b) she was in Singapore. Her prior service at Admiralty HQ is well documented but we are unable to confirm the time of her departure. As we are unable to confirm her presence in Singapore in WWII(a), our collective suspicion is that she was still at Admiralty HQ in Novemeber, 1941(a), and was somehow able to report the position of Ark Royal to her attacker. He posting to Asia in WWII(b) apparently interrupted this sequence. Of course, this line of reasoning made our heads hurt and we were forced to go out to a pub and have a large number of pints. This seemed to ease the dilemma. If readers find this discomfiting, we suggest the reader avail himself of the same opportunity.

P.S. We also suggest the readers not attempt the use of ancient mythological references in pub chatter. It does not seem to work very well.

P.P.S. The Editors also offer a free WWII(c) T-shirt to any reader who can identify the resource cited in the forward to thsi communication.

Disclaimer: The managment assumes no responsibility for lost or stolen articles and, of course, cannot produce a WWII(c) T-shirt if WWII(c) does not eventuate

[BrucePowers]

See, there is a scientific basis for the Ark Royal being here[:D]

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

P.P.S. The Editors also offer a free WWII(c) T-shirt to any reader who can identify the resource cited in the forward to thsi communication.

Half-guessing, but it sounds like Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy.

[rtrapasso]

P.P.S. The Editors also offer a free WWII(c) T-shirt to any reader who can identify the resource cited in the forward to thsi communication.

Douglas Adams - The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

Would you like page, etc.??