From here to...well...it SEEMS like an eternity

[Cap Mandrake]

..



Indian IV Corps is now up against 3 full Jap divisions and two independent brigades on the rail line West of Myitkyina

[Cap Mandrake]

You are all directed to say 50 Hail Marys to support the Fiji Operation.


Father Emmanoulides

[BrucePowers]

Father who?????[:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Father who?????[:D]

Father Petros Emmanoulides, a key spirtitual advisor to the men of 90th BS(M) in both WWII(a) and WWII(b), although, like most, he cannot remember the first war. His Greek Orthodox background is surprisingly well accepted by the men of the 90th BS, USAAF. Despite his cassok and short stature, he is surprisingly speedy and once escaped certain death by sprinting safely off a jetty that was targeted for torpedo attack by Catain Ito (it's a long story).

The good Father can also be stern. He once gave Yossarian 50 Hail Marys and a Novena for saying "Holy ******* Shit!" too much during an icing emergency in the middle of July.

tm.asp?m=1180532&mpage=33&key=Emmanoulides?...post # 983

[BrucePowers]

Being a Congregationalist and now a Presbyterian, I have never done a hail Mary. That's saying something having grown up in a small town where the 2 largest churches were Notre Dame and Saint Mary's.

[Moondawggie]

Mandrake, Tabpub; I fear you are both being too hard on yourselves and poor LCDR (my old rank!) Smithers...

It strikes me that the confusion about the exact time these attacks were supposed to go off can all be convieniently blamed on the intricacy of the International Date Line: Pearl Harbor happened on 12/7 if you were at Pearl or in DC, but it was already 12/8 in Tokyo, the East Indies, and Inja at the same time the attack actually took place. (Just another difficulty to overcome when waging war on both sides of the Pacific).

Even Einstein's law of special relativity breaks down into a quantum foam of dysynchroncity when the Date Line is approached.

So, stiff upper lip and all that rot for the Brits, and Cowboy Up for the Yanks! Let's fix the blame squarely where it belongs: on those damn tenured public Junior High School Geography teachers who, having failed to educate their charges about the way this miserable IDL works, have so cruelly failed America's innocent, promising youth! [:-]

[Cap Mandrake]

..

[witpqs]

Any updates on the inhabitants of Flores?

'Hobbit' hominids were dwarf cretins, say scientists

[BrucePowers]

Thank you Father Emmanoulides for the text of the Hail Mary. That will be a big help to me...........

Right after I find a translation dictionary. What language I don't know. It's definitely not my native tongue[:D]

[rtrapasso]

ORIGINAL: witpqs

Any updates on the inhabitants of Flores?

'Hobbit' hominids were dwarf cretins, say scientists

Lies and calumny!! [:-] [:-]

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Thank you Father Emmanoulides for the text of the Hail Mary. That will be a big help to me...........

Right after I find a translation dictionary. What language I don't know. It's definitely not my native tongue[:D]

Greek

[BrucePowers]

Ok now I can go looking. Luckily, I am friends with the manager of the book store here in town.[:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

Mandrake, Tabpub; I fear you are both being too hard on yourselves and poor LCDR (my old rank!) Smithers...

It strikes me that the confusion about the exact time these attacks were supposed to go off can all be convieniently blamed on the intricacy of the International Date Line: Pearl Harbor happened on 12/7 if you were at Pearl or in DC, but it was already 12/8 in Tokyo, the East Indies, and Inja at the same time the attack actually took place. (Just another difficulty to overcome when waging war on both sides of the Pacific).

Even Einstein's law of special relativity breaks down into a quantum foam of dysynchroncity when the Date Line is approached.

So, stiff upper lip and all that rot for the Brits, and Cowboy Up for the Yanks! Let's fix the blame squarely where it belongs: on those damn tenured public Junior High School Geography teachers who, having failed to educate their charges about the way this miserable IDL works, have so cruelly failed America's innocent, promising youth! [:-]

As Chick Hearn (announcer for the Lakers) might have said..."No harm, no foul". At least 50 ships penetrated to within 4 hexes of Fiji without being spotted. So far we have encountered only 2nd line Sallys and Rufes [:)] Nandi has a SNLF and Fiji a combat brigade. I would say Admiral Tabpub has achieved both strategic and tactical surprise. New Guinea has been even further reinforced and he is sending more minesweeprs (at their considerable peril) into the Coral Sea to mine Port Moresby. A surface force is headed to the Louisiades to dislodge some pesky Dutchmen operating a forward seaplane base.

Of course, the secret is out on Fiji and the buildup on surrounding islands has started. Tonga air balance is way up and Canton is down. Expect some Bettys and Zeroes from Tonga.


As for this: Even Einstein's law of special relativity breaks down into a quantum foam of dysynchroncity when the Date Line is approached.

Is that the stuff they dump out of the heads? [:(] Sounds really nasty.

[witpqs]

Physics World: Testing the gravitational inverse-square law

Although Einstein's theory has passed all these tests so far, it is clear that quantum effects will cause general relativity to break down at distances comparable to the Planck length, which is defined as LP = √(h barG/c3)≃ 1.6 x 10-35 m, where h bar is Planck's constant divided by 2π and c is the speed of light.

Notably, though:

However, the Planck length is so small that it has no discernable effect in any practical gravitational experiment.

The lucky result of which is that stuff does dump out of the heads.

Max Planck and Albert Einstein, discussing proposed laws of physics for the upcoming WWII-b:

[Cap Mandrake]

Count Maria von Czernin before his rendezvous with destiny.

[rtrapasso]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Count Maria von Czernin before his rendezvous with destiny.

[Moondawggie]

WITPQS, thanks for saving my shorts! But quantum foam is actually a very valuable material, and should never be "dumped out of the heads." Here's why:

To quote Brian Greene in "The Elegant Universe," Quantum Foam was described as "an unfamiliar arena of the universe in which the conventional notion of left and right, back and forth, up and down (and even before and after) lose their meaning."

Which, guys, gives us tremendous latitude in scientifically explaining to women or Bosses why we weren't where we were supposed to be at a given time, or why we did action A when action negative A was called for: "Hey, there I was, sucked down to the submicroscopic level where even the gravitational constant gets distorted by Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle. The space-time continuum I expected to encounter was destroyed by the violent fluctuations of the quantum world on short distance scales. So, even though I showed up on time, you showed up was late! And I was there to pitch the deal to the buyer, but he turned out to be another seller, so the deal fell through. IT"S NOT MY FAULT!"

The great thing about quantum mechanics is that neither women or bosses understand it, so they can't successfully argue about it with you. The bad thing is that they don't believe that it exists, either. Which, of course, is also predicted by the theory of quantum mechanics.

Which means I'm getting a headache. Does M&M Enterprises have any aspirin for sale?

[Cap Mandrake]

Operation Akron. "Akron" was supposed to be on King's and Marshall's "do not use" list. Oh well, maybe Marshall's secretary got the heading wrong on the copy she sent to Admiral Tabpub. She is lucky to still have a job after that screw up with Truman being invited to the NSC meetings. Evidently, she has an ample bosom. She is going to need all her assets when offical Washington finds out the name of the operation.

[Cap Mandrake]

Fiji would not be an easy place to stage an amphibious landing. There are reefs all over the place. The Suva landing is a few miles down the coast.

[Cap Mandrake]

***************Oval Office, White House, Washington, D.C., 07:15, December 11, 1942, Presidential Daily Briefing************

Gen. Marshall: Sir, the most important item this morning is Operation Akron.

Tall, patrician-looking guy: Akron? Holy cow! I had no idea the Japs had got all the way to Iowa. Aren't you guys supposed to keep me updated on this stuff?

Adm. King: I think you mean Ohio, sir,

Tall, patrician-looking guy: Iowa, Ohio, does it really matter? I would say the voters in Akron are going to be pretty angry. That is a Democratic town, Captain.

Adm. King: Admiral, sir.

Tall, patrician-looking guy: I am an Admiral too? Why doesn't someone tell me these things.


Adm. King: Yes sir. I will see to it.

Gen. Marshall: Sir,...<pauses to chose his words> operation Akron isn't really in Akron.

Tall, patrician-looking guy: Well, that is pretty confusing isn't it? Are you TRYING to confuse me?

Gen. Marshall: No sir. We weren't too happy with the operation name either. It seems there was a clerical error.

Adm. King: Still, it might have been worse. <both officers chuckle>

Tall, patrician-looking guy: Well, as this is a briefing, are you going to tell me WHERE opeartion Akron is?

Gen. Marshall: Yes sir. It's Fiji sir.

Tall, patrician-looking guy: Fiji, Fiji? I can't place it. Is that a blue collar town?

Gen. Marshall: No sir, I'd say more a no-collar town. <both officers chuckle>

Tall, patrician-looking guy: Splendid! The medical guys told me to say that more. It means something is really good.

Gen. Marshall: Yes sir. Splendid, sir.

Tall, patrician-looking guy: Fiji, a no-collar town. That sounds like good Democratic voters to me. Splendid! Do the men not wear shirts then?

Gen. Marshall: Yes sir, chiefly. And many of the women too.

Tall, patrician-looking guy: The women too? Splendid! I would like to visit there when this is over.

Gen. Marshall: Yes, sir.

Tall, patrician-looking guy: Splendid! look, if this Operation Akron doesn't work out can we at least drop some absentee ballots there before November '44? We can use some of those hundreds of transport thingys we have sitting around doing nothing. What do you call those things again?

Gen. Marshall: C-47's, sir?

Tall, patrician-looking guy: Yes, splenidid! Use some of them. The taxpayers like to see what they buy put to good use.

Gen. Marshall: But sir, they are earmarked for the ETO.

Tall, patrician-looking guy: ETO? Look guys, how many times do I have to tell you to can the abbreviations.

Gen. Marshall: Yes sir. Sorry, Mr. President. C-47's for absentee ballots. Yes sir.

Tall, patrician-looking guy: Splendid! <intercom buzzes, he says conspiratorially to the two officers> Hey, watch this, it's a talking radio. You are not going to believe this <depresses intercom button> Yes, what is it? <giggles a bit>

Voice over intercom: Sir, it's Senator Truman. He wants to see you sir. He says it's urgent. Something about Quonset huts, sir.

Tall, patrician-looking guy: Truman? Oh man. <the smile leaves his face> Tell him I am not in.

Voice over intercom: I'm afraid thay won't work, sir. He is down on his hands and knees peering throught the gap under the door to the Oval Office.

Voice from behind dooor: <muffled> Mr. President, it's Harry. I know you are in. I need to talk to you about the military-industrial-complex. Sir, I'll get some of those salty fish eggs if you like.....