From here to...well...it SEEMS like an eternity

[bradfordkay]

Bush meat? no, no, no, brad, don't go there...

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: bradfordkay

Bush meat? no, no, no, brad, don't go there...

It's neck and neck..but the superego wins in a photo finish.

[bradfordkay]

It's sometimes hard to resist...[:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

Lord Admiral Tabpub is an attacking, crazy kinda guy. Does anyone think he would be happy with one amphibious invasion at a time?

While we await the turn back from the Empire of Japan, the management has granted permission for a contest and is prepared to offer one two for one coupon for a cocktail at Yossarian's home for anyone who correctly identifies the next landing location.

For anyone who can identify the operation name, we can offer something really cool but we haven't thought of it yet.

Hint: It is thematic and it is already in the narrative.

[Cap Mandrake]

*********Aboard USS Mississippi, 350 nm NE of XXXXXX Is., 17:30, December 16, 1942*********


Admiral Eadie Adams: <scans the horizon from the bridge. Everywhere he looks there are ships of the XXXXXX Is. landing force, they are converted ocean liners and liberty ships and modern destroyers and crusiers bristling with AAA guns. They carry the men and equipment of Ist Amphibious Corps. He turns to Gen. Mitchell, commander of I Amphibious Corps> General, we have been lucky, we remain unspotted, but tomorrow we will announce our presence. Are your boys ready?


General Mitchell:They are Admiral. In fact, they will be glad to have feet dry."

[bobogoboom]

canton?

[tabpub]

Lord Admiral Tabpub is an attacking, crazy kinda guy.

Here I am at an Japanese Embassy party circa 1928 in Washington; the short fellow to my right is the Japanese Naval Attache. We've had a few whiskys by this time, of course....

He's gotten belligerent, saying how the Empire has rights in Asia and all that; and that if the US interferes, the IJN will "sink us all, everyone...". I, of course, said "Bollocks".
He looked at me thru whiskey filmed eyes, obviously confused; so, I tracked down the German Naval Attache, Mantueffel and asked him to translate "Bollocks". He looked confused, so I said, "Bollocks, like nuts." Now HE was confused..."Nutzen?" He jabbered something in Japanese to the IJNA and stumbled off, muttering.....

The IJNA said "What do legumes have to do with the situation in the Far East?"
I didn't know what a "legume" was, but I couldn't let on that I was ignorant, so I stole the prop arrow from Bradley (that party animal, you haven't seen the seamier side of DC until you go out with Brad...he's just ....bent) and said "Well Izzy, let's just say that if something happens out there, you guys might run wild for sometime, but in the end you'll get it in the head just like this..." whereupon I placed the prop arrow on my head.

He got a dreamy look in his eyes then for a few seconds, then shook his head to clear it.
"Yes, indeed you are right. What was I thinking.....now, about this expansion that I hear proposed for Pearl Harbor Naval Yard....do you think it's wise to do this? Pearl Harbor has only one purpose, to threaten us like a knife to the throat!"
"Izzy", I said, "don't worry your little pumpkin head over that. The Brass will never station the fleet out there; entertainment sucks out there compared to 'Dago as there are no speakeasies, and they like to party on Saturday nights. So much so, that on Sunday morning all you see is little old ladies and temperance people walking around in San Diego; the Fleet is sleeping off a bender most of the time..."

All he could say to that was "Well, good thing we are on Japanese soil here and we can drink our fill. Let's have another and toast to a quick end to Prohibition!!"
I just burped and said "Amen, brother!!"

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: tabpub
..
He's gotten belligerent, saying how the Empire has rights in Asia and all that; and that if the US interferes, the IJN will "sink us all, everyone...". I, of course, said "Bollocks".
He looked at me thru whiskey filmed eyes, obviously confused; so, I tracked down the German Naval Attache, Mantueffel and asked him to translate "Bollocks". He looked confused, so I said, "Bollocks, like nuts." Now HE was confused..."Nutzen?" He jabbered something in Japanese to the IJNA and stumbled off, muttering.....

Much the same thing will happen to General McAuliff at Bastogne in late '44...well probably..no way to be sure. Some of this may spill over to the ETO

He got a dreamy look in his eyes then for a few seconds, then shook his head to clear it.
"Yes, indeed you are right. What was I thinking.....now, about this expansion that I hear proposed for Pearl Harbor Naval Yard....do you think it's wise to do this? Pearl Harbor has only one purpose, to threaten us like a knife to the throat!"
"Izzy", I said, "don't worry your little pumpkin head over that. The Brass will never station the fleet out there; entertainment sucks out there compared to 'Dago as there are no speakeasies, and they like to party on Saturday nights. So much so, that on Sunday morning all you see is little old ladies and temperance people walking around in San Diego; the Fleet is sleeping off a bender most of the time..."

I can see how you may have believed that at the time. Who could know that Hoover would only be a one term President? Perhaps you know Admiral Richardson. It sounds like he may have had a conversation with the same Japanese Naval Attache.

[ctangus]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

While we await the turn back from the Empire of Japan, the management has granted permission for a contest and is prepared to offer one two for one coupon for a cocktail at Yossarian's home for anyone who correctly identifies the next landing location.

Lesbos?

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: bobogoboom

canton?

Is that the Island or the city in China, sir?

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: ctangus

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

While we await the turn back from the Empire of Japan, the management has granted permission for a contest and is prepared to offer one two for one coupon for a cocktail at Yossarian's home for anyone who correctly identifies the next landing location.

Lesbos?

[:D] Cool story idea

[Moondawggie]

Lesbos?

Well, I was in Walnut Creek, CA this weekend, and there was a lot of "Lesbot" action parading around outside of the Nordstrom and Tiffany stores there, but I doubt that Tabpub is invading Oakland/Berkeley and the East Bay.

On the other hand, Midway is always an attractive option.... [&:]

[Cap Mandrake]

Anonymous Editor's Note:

The board has decided to name Mr/Ms. bobogoboom as the winner of the amphibious landing challenge. As Mr/Ms. bobogoboom did not specify Canton the city or Canton Is. as the destination, the Board had to devine the voter's intent. We judged his/her answer to be quite clever but because of the uncertainty, we modified the tow for one coupon to instead a Yossarian's Home Challenge certificate. The bearer, after paying for and consuming two Darwin Antipersonel Bombs within a 15 minute time span, must then stand on one foot and raise the other leg in a goosetep fashion and loudly sing "Springtime for Hitler" without losing his/her balance or forgetting any words to the song. Upon successful conclusion, the certificate holder will be awarded a free Darwin Antipersonel Bomb and a vomit bag.

[Cap Mandrake]

Anonymous Editor's Note:

The Board also wished the reader to be aware of the curious historical fact that the Island of Misfit Toys was the original target for Operation Firestone but planners encountered a severe shortage of icebreakers so Canton Is. was chsoen instead.

[Cap Mandrake]

********Admiral Halsey's Cabin, USS Wasp, 06:50, December 17, 1942, 180 nm NE of Canton Is.************


<knock on door>

Adm. Halsey: Enter.

Lt.: Sir, the captain wishes to report the strike package for Canton is away. No enemy search aircraft or submarine contacts reported.

Adm. Halsey: That is splendid son. What do you think, the mauve or the terracotta? <he holds up two fabric swatches near the porthole>

[Cap Mandrake]

So here is Lord Admiral Tabpub's crazy side coming out. Canton Is. is beyond range of any currently available Allied bombers (the nearest base is Palmyra which is 15 hexes away), the location of the KB is unknown, Canton has been off limits for recon to preserve secrecy, 3 USN carriers are covering the Suva landings..............that leaves only Wasp to cover the Canton landings. [X(] [8D]


Will the non-Pagans please recite 50 Hail Marys in support of Operation Firestone (the Greek version is available a few pages back).

[Cuttlefish]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Anonymous Editor's Note:

The Board also wished the reader to be aware of the curious historical fact that the Island of Misfit Toys was the original target for Operation Firestone but planners encountered a severe shortage of icebreakers so Canton Is. was chsoen instead.

I think it's just as well. I hear that the coastal defense batteries there squirt jelly, and those flying lions are really tough in air to air combat.

[tabpub]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

********Admiral Halsey's Cabin, USS Wasp, 06:50, December 17, 1942, 180 nm NE of Canton Is.************


<knock on door>

Adm. Halsey: Enter.

Lt.: Sir, the captain wishes to report the strike package for Canton is away. No enemy search aircraft or submarine contacts reported.

Adm. Halsey: That is splendid son. What do you think, the mauve or the terracotta? <he holds up two fabric swatches near the prothole>

Lt: <turning to leave> Oh, I almost forgot sir; the MSW group got separated from the main body last night. The Coxswain on the lead MSW has developed a strange condition; instead of steering fleet course 240 degrees, he was conning to course 042. The Pharmacist's Mate doesn't know what to make of it. Anyhow, the relief coxs'n spotted the error, but by then, the group was 4 hours in the opposite direction of the fleet; they can't make the landing zones before the transports. ADM Adams is quite put out, to say the least, and has ordered all Task Groups to heave to just over the horizon from Firestone while the MSW's catch up....aieee!! <ducks out the hatch as a coffee cup hits the bulkhead>

Adm. Halsey: (*%%$*&$)_+*&er!! I want that man up on a GCM when this Operation is over!! Fleet course was 240! I don't care what happened! And get me my strawberries!!

Lt: <ducks back in> Yessir! Oh, and the 2 old 'Bird' class MSW Rail and Heed will be onstation in the afternoon; they didn't have any navigation error. They should arrive in time with the intial bombardment group. <duck out>

Adm. Halsey: <muttering to self> Fletcher gets everything....dolt....he gets all but one of the DMS's, 3 carriers, and attacks an island that has a weakly held base 40 miles away that's taken in hours after the landing....What do I get...one carrier, one DMS, a bunch of idiot MSWs and we're attacking a rock in the middle of nowhere.....I KNEW that I shouldn't have pinched Chet's wife on the ass at that party 2 years ago.....and where in the HELL are my two ball bearings!!

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: tabpub

.....and where in the HELL are my two ball bearings!!

I hope he didn't drop them in the bulkhead...

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Cuttlefish

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Anonymous Editor's Note:

The Board also wished the reader to be aware of the curious historical fact that the Island of Misfit Toys was the original target for Operation Firestone but planners encountered a severe shortage of icebreakers so Canton Is. was chsoen instead.

I think it's just as well. I hear that the coastal defense batteries there squirt jelly, and those flying lions are really tough in air to air combat.

Jellied gasoline or grape? [;)]