From here to...well...it SEEMS like an eternity

[rtrapasso]

Here is a model of it (called the Tsar Tank - weighing in at 40 tons!!)- this shows the details better:

[Cap Mandrake]

Wow, I imagine that was a bear to parallel park. I hope the front-facing guns had traverse and elevation limits so they would not shoot out the axle or spokes.

The Tsar seemed to sponsor some seriously kooky ideas. Anybody know what finally happened to him? [;)]

[rtrapasso]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Wow, I imagine that was a bear to parallel park. I hope the front-facing guns had traverse and elevation limits so they would not shoot out the axle or spokes.

The Tsar seemed to sponsor some seriously kooky ideas. Anybody know what finally happened to him? [;)]

He went on to design this tank (note the giant wheel)... but something happened to him before it could be built:

[Alfred]

I thought I heard that in parts of Iraq/Afghanistan, C-130 pilots have to make a corkscrew landing.  Maybe they would appreciate having a circular landing strip.
 
Alfred

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Do the Russians believe in the perfectness of a circle?[:D]

Not really. They just have a very hard time with Occam's Razor. [8|]

[Cap Mandrake]

....

[Moondawggie]

Looks like that compassionate Gunny from Chicago is about to have his empathy and sympathy tested a bit more...

I hope the surviving Boobie Chicks have been bundled up and safely transported onto some transport (AE?) maneuvering offshore, with the consoling SPCA reps attending to their needs.

[Cap Mandrake]

***********Canton Island, 21:50, January 5, 1942***********


There is a scene of near pandemoium as a Beachmaster barks orders in an effort to disperse vehicles parked nearly wheel hub to wheel hub on the beach. A last operable DUKW stil ashore revs its engine, and begins to move down the beach to the water line. The word is out that there may be Jap battleships offshore by midnight.

A pathetic fellow in khaki pants stumbles about in a dazed state. He appears to be searching for something. His eyes are puffy from crying and he has lost his silly cap, revealing a thoroughly unconvincing comb-over.


Pathetic fellow in khaki pants: MY BOOBYS! MY BOOBYS! Has anyone seen my boobys? <he taps the Beachmaster on the shoulder> Have you seen my boobys?

Beachmaster: Get off my ******' beach you ******' prevert.

Pathetic fellow in khaki pants: No, no..they are orphan birds. I had them in a duffle bag.....<trails off>

Beachmaster: <puts megaphone to mouth and points to a shore engineer running by> YOU! SAILOR, GET THIS ******' NUTCASE OFF MY BEACH.

[Cap Mandrake]

...

[BrucePowers]

Enough of Australia. How are the dinosaur digs in Burma?[:)]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Enough of Australia. How are the dinosaur digs in Burma?[:)]

********On the trail from Imphal to the Myitkyina/Mandalay railway, 10:20, January 9, 1942***********


Lt. Uppington-Smith, N0. 251 Coy, Royal Engineers lies prone in the middle of the trail. Behind him the exhaust from dozens of idling Grants smears a blistering sun. Beads of sweat poor off his forehead. He probes the ground obliquely with a bayonette. There is a faint "click". He withdraws the probe and without taking his eyes off his target, he makes a pumping motion with his arm. A sargeant on the first tank calls out, "BRING UP THE PLASTER LADS!"

[Cap Mandrake]

**************09:45, January 6, 1943, CINCPAC HQ, Pearl**************



Nimitz: Nothing? Are you sure?

Aide: Yes sir, We have 16 PBY's in the air from Canton and a total of 31 Coronados and PBY's from Palmyra. Nothing within at least 600 miles of Canton.

Nimitz: Damn! That was a fight we could have won. It was the loss of Canton. He knows that we could recover our carrier aircraft at Canton if need be and then there was the threat of Marine SBD's. We shall have to fight him in the future, perhaps under less favorable circumstances. Instruct Adams to continue the debarkation at Canton. The fleet carriers and the escort group will standby until he is complete.

Aide: Yes sir! <turns to leave>

Nimitz: Oh....and find out if those groping stores are true.


***********************************

Busy week. By way of orientation, it appears John turned around his carriers one day after Canton fell, even after racing all the way from the Southern Indian Ocean in about 18 days.

[BrucePowers]

This is getting interesting.[:)]

[MightyPaladin]

This is getting interesting

&nbsp;
but until now this thread was completely devoid of any interesting or humorus posts? [:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

**********Casablanca, 11:30, January 9, 1943**********


Chubby Fellow with cigar: Splendid! So it's decided then. An allied invasion of Northern Europe by June of this year!

Tall Patrician-looking Guy: Splendid! Say, this coffee is kick-ass strong.

Effete Arrogant-looking Guy: Tres bien! Kick-ass, oui.

Chubby Fellow with cigar: Gentlemen, perhaps we could turn our attention to the Japanese.

Effete Arrogant-looking Guy: Uuuhaah! Ze little yellow bastards!

Tall Patrician-looking Guy: I can never forgive them for capturing Easter Island...or Akron for that matter.

Effete Arrogant-looking Guy: Easter Island! Mon Dieux! <stands up>

Chubby Fellow with cigar: <shakes head in negative fashion discretely toward the annoying effete guy> Precisely! I believe we need to strike them in Southeast Asia!

Tall Patrician-looking Guy: So which is it? South Asia or East Asia?

Chubby Fellow with cigar: Franklin, I'm afraid I don't understand. It is both South AND East.

Tall Patrician-looking Guy: Wow, that makes my head hurt. Hey, anybody want some brandy?.......

[BrucePowers]

Wait! I thought you were trying in Southeast Asia. Isn't Burma southeast Asia?[:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

***********Lanai Room, Anfa Hotel, Casablanca, 15:20, Januray 9, 1943*************


The PM and the Chief of the Imperial General Staff are having a private tea.

WC: Let's we two have a chat about something more bold in Southeast Asia, or as the President would say South AND East Asia. <both men chuckle> Parenthetically, I am a bit concerned about the President. Lately he reminds me of my first roomate at Sandhurst, and trust me, that is not a favorable comparison. The chap was seldom free of inebriation. <grows pensive> Still, there is nothing I can do about that and I must say the President has become quite the babe magnet.

Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Indeed. Did you see the transcriptionist he brought? It takes some of the sting out of losing the colonies.

WC: Yes. I noticed her. Nice bottom. <takes a puff from his cigar> Field Marshall, I'm concerned about Pownall, a solid fellow to be sure, but he seems to lack the proper level of imagination. Who have we to replace him at SEAC?

Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Hmmm. <takes out a small scrap of paper> I took the liberty of having staff review this, anticipating your interest in a 'more energetic remedy', sir. <makes air quote>

WC: Splendid!

Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Splendid? Ah yes. I love it.

WC: Of course, that is what "splendid" means.

Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Yes sir. That's why I love it.

WC: Love what?

Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Your idea, sir.

WC: What idea is that, Field Marshall?

Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Operation Splendid, of course.

WC: Operation Splendid? Oh, I see, yes, come to think of it, it IS splendid.

Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Yes, the idea for Operation Splendid is indeed splendid.

WC: Indeed, there can be no other word for it.

Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: None other, sir.

WC: Splendid it is then!

Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Splendid, sir!

WC: Agreed! Operation Splendid it is. And it will be a splendid thing to behold.

Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Indeed it will sir. <pauses briefly> Sir, in the interests of operational security, may I suggest we refrain from using the word "splendid".

WC: Splendid idea, Field Marshall...oh, blast....superb, that's it, superb idea.

Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Sir, may I suggest we order the chain of command to also refrain from the use of you know what.

WC: Superb idea, Field Marshall! Unless they are actually referring to the operation, then they shall be permitted to say you know what. After all, that is the whole point. Instruct the chain of command to use the word "superb" instead of you know what unless they are referring to Operation you know what.

Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Yes sir! Superb idea sir. I will see to it.

WC: Superb! I feel we cannot fail.

Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Indeed, our chances are superb, sir. Sir, <pauses and assumes a cautious tone> what exactly is Operation You Know What?

WC: Why, it's, as you say, a "more energetic remedy".

Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Superb! We shall have to work out the details later, then.

WC: Indeed. We should flesh it out a bit.

Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Superb!

WC: Yes, yes it is. Field Marshall, perhaps we could review that list.

Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: Ah, yes sir. <reads from list> Brigadier Ludlow, Brigadier Trent, Lt. Gen Spanton, Lt. Gen Auchinleck and Colonel Wavell.

WC: That's it??? Two Brigadiers, two Lt. Generals and a Colonel? That is preposterous. The Americans have Admirals commanding PT boat flotillas. Why haven't I a more fulsome choice?

Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke: It's a pension issue sir.

WC: BLOODY LABOUR BOLSHEVIKS! .......

[rtrapasso]

Wot? The Americans haven't told the Brits about their cloning technology yet?? [&:] [:'(]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

Wot? The Americans haven't told the Brits about their cloning technology yet?? [&:] [:'(]

Well, cooperating on the Manhattan Project is one thing, but sharing cloning technology? I think not. Look at Klaus Fuchs. The Brits have more closet Commies than a Global Cooling rally in Berkley. Imagine if the Russkis got ahold of cloning [X(]

Can you say Lenin 2?

BTW..I just discovered a second Admiral Eaddie Adams commanding a PT boat flotilla (of 1 boat) at Perth [:)]

[DuckofTindalos]

That's Lord Alanbrooke to you, Mandrake! You don't call a Lord Sir...[:-][:'(]