From here to...well...it SEEMS like an eternity

[cantona2]

The fits hit the Shan [:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Keep telling yourself that[:D]

Oh dear...don't tell me Tokyo Rose has been at it again? Usually she ignores the CBI.

I will admit I..err..I mean Lord Louis was snookered. It didn't occur to me...err...him they would try the massive fighter sweep followed by big, poorly escorted anti-shipping raids from different airfields. It was risky. What if the Bangkok raid aborted? The hot shot P-40's would have murdered the Jap bombers. Plus, Bangkok had zero CAP that turn. What if I had sent the heavies and caught his fighters after their sweep? My AK's absorbed quite a few hits. I was lucky only 1 sank (plus one more this turn likely) and Hollyhock.

Still, they are fighting back. It was fun...sort of.[:)]

[BrucePowers]

I will not say a word one way or the other, really. I don't want my comments in the wrong thread to be used as intelligence material if I screw up and say the wrong thing.

I do, however, like being a peanut gallery[:D]

[VSWG]

Poor Adm Draemel... [:(]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: VSWG

Poor Adm Draemel... [:(]

**********Mouth of the Salween River, off Moulmein, 10:20, February 19, 1943*********


Sounds of AAA fire fade as the latest wave of Japanese bombers head home. In the near distance, the Flower-class corvette, HMS Hollyhock, is sinking rapidly, a victim of 3 torpedoes, her oil soaking the waters of the Salween. Through the smoke, a small launch emerges, the soiled uniform of a US Navy Admiral is evident on the figure at the bow. Two ships have converged to pick up survivors, HMS Hatterlock (AK) and RNN Toendjoek (AK). The captains of both vessels recognize the man emerging from the smoke. In unison, they turn toward each other.

LCDR Smit, captain of Toendjoek: <hails captain of Hatterlock with a megaphone> SIR! THE ADMIRAL WILL HAVE TO CHANGE HIS FLAG. I BELIEVE HE WOULD BE MOST COMFORTABLE ABOARD A ROYAL NAVY VESSEL. CAN YOU TAKE HIM ABOARD?

CPT Swynnerton, skipper of Hatterlock: CAPTAIN, THAT IS VERY GENEROUS OF YOU, BUT I SUSPECT HE SHALL WANT THE VESSEL WITH THE GREATER ARMAMENT. WHAT HAVE YOU?

LCDR Smit, captain of Toendjoek: WE HAVE A 4 INCH AFT, 4 BY 7.7 MM AMIDSHIPS AND A 3 INCH AAA FORWARD.

CPT Swynnerton, skipper of Hatterlock: AS DO WE. WHAT OF YOUR STATEROOMS? DOES YOUR CAPTAIN'S CABIN HAVE AN ADJOINING HEAD?

LCDR Smit, captain of Toendjoek: NO, IT IS DOWN THE PASSAGEWAY. IT CAN BE A BIT BALKY AT TIMES, AS WELL!

CPT Swynnerton, skipper of Hatterlock: OH, WE DREAM OF MERELY HAVING A BALKY HEAD..................

[VSWG]

HE SURVIVED! YAAAAAAAYYY!!!&nbsp;[:D]

[USSAmerica]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

A signal quickly emerges from the reptilian part of my brain, forcing itself past roadblocks that are now unmanned because of yeast excrement.

A classic Mandrake line. [:D]

[USSAmerica]

ORIGINAL: cantona2

The fits hit the Shan [:D]

[:D][:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

..or maybe just Fr. Emmanoulides?

Wait...it couldn't be him...wrong Patriarch


Here is what happened. I am not making this up.

I am at work yesterday and I have my Blackberry Curve in my butt-cheek pocket. Pretend I didn't read the instructions so I don't know how to do keyboard lock. Anyway, I pull the thing out to call my daughter because it turns out she has called me 4 times at work to see how much money she can get for washing the dogs, and instead of the usual video of the inside of my pocket or something like *#3sE^^xd18? in the text area there is this:

Pope_ [X(][&o]

That's it. Nothing else. Now, I am not the superstitious type but that is seriously improbable. I am thinking message from God perhaps, or maybe the Holy Father is mad at me for making fun of Admiral Draemel. Could it be the tax deduction I took for donating used underwear? Bill Clinton did that once it didn't seem to get him in trouble. Plus, there were no skid marks. I checked. And what is the deal with the underline at the end?

For safety reasons I think I will go to Confession. I haven't been for about 30 years so I figure they are really going to lower the boom on me. I may be away for a while.

[Cap Mandrake]

BTW...the Shan are real. I didn't make that up....well maybe the part about the clairvoyance.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shan


The Shan are a Tai ethnic group of Southeast Asia. The Shan live primarily in the Shan State of Myanmar, but also inhabit parts of Mandalay Division, Kachin State, and Kayin State, and in adjacent regions of China and Thailand.[1] Though no reliable census has been taken in Myanmar since 1935, the Shan are estimated to number approximately 6 million.

The capital of Shan State is Taunggyi, a small city of about 150,000 people. Other major cities include Thibaw (Hsipaw), Lashio, Kengtung and Tachileik.

[Cap Mandrake]

*********Bridge of RNN Toendjoek, flagship of Admiral Milo "Jonah" Draemel, USN, Mouth of the Salween, off Moulemin, Burma, 11:50, February 19, 1943************


Adm. Draemel can be heard approaching the bridge with a "squish, squish, squish" sound. As he enters, all present snap to attention and a sailor barks an announcement in crisp Dutch. Adm. Draemel imagines he has said "Admiral on the bridge!' but he just as likely may have said "Look out everyone!".

LCDR Smit, captain of Toendjoek: Welcome to your new flagship, sir. I trust you found the new shoes comfortable?

Adm Milo "Jonah" Draemel, USN: Oh, they are quite comfortable, Commander. I am afraid I got them a bit wet, however. It seems the head is a bit balky. <All eyes surreptitiously head for his new shoes. They are quite passable shoes..with a nice shine..or at least they had a nice shine. Now a turbid liquid of uncertain origin seeps from the shoes whenver the Admrial shits his balance>

Squiiiiiishh.

LCDR Smit, captain of Toendjoek: Ah, sorry to hear that sir. I will have ship's plumber get right on that.

Adm Milo "Jonah" Draemel, USN: Swimming! How goes the unloading? I would like to push off right after nightfall in order to make the air umbrella of the RN carriers by sunrise.......


****I misspelled "shifts" and the censor Nazi-bot took over**** [:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

In the language of the indigenous peoples of the are, "Kra" is said to mean "skinny land with
no oil or cool stuff like that but which leads to Singapore and air bases within heavy bomber range of Palembang".

Rangoon is attacked by 5th Indian. In the event, it is garrisoned only by the skeletons of HQ and AA units and falls on the first day. 10th Air Force has really wrecked the place. It wont be much use for a while. the Royal Navy carriers make an appearance to convoy troopships into
Moulmein and to escort the empties out. Jap bombers from Andaman are slaughtered by the 50-55 Seafires flying CAP. Jap air has been withdrawn to Georgetown and Hanoi and Camranh Bay. Even so, this is hampering reinforcements.

255th Armoured has reached Bandou but is short on supplies. They will have to wait for infantry support to attack. 254th Armoured is outside of Krung Thep (or however you spell that).

2 more damaged AK's sunk en route to Chandpur. That brinngs the total maritime losses of Operation Splendid to HMS Hollyhock, one coastal minesweeper, one LCT and 4 AK's.

[Cap Mandrake]

*******Office of the CIC, SEAC, Imphal, February 23, 1943************


Admiral of the Fleet Louis Francis Albert Victor Nicholas Mountbatten, 1st Earl Mountbatten of Burma, KG, GCB, OM, GCSI, GCIE, GCVO, DSO, PC: <knock at the door> Enter.

Secretary:Sir, it's Vice Admiral Phillips for your 10 o'clock.


Admiral of the Fleet Louis Francis Albert Victor Nicholas Mountbatten, 1st Earl Mountbatten of Burma, KG, GCB, OM, GCSI, GCIE, GCVO, DSO, PC: Ah, yes, show him in please. <Adm. Mountbatten rises at his desk and greets Adm. Phillips warmly with a handshake> Tom, Tom, splendid to see you.

Vice Admiral Phillips: As it is to see you your Lordship.

Admiral of the Fleet Louis Francis Albert Victor Nicholas Mountbatten, 1st Earl Mountbatten of Burma, KG, GCB, OM, GCSI, GCIE, GCVO, DSO, PC: Oh, Tom, Tom, can we dispense with that rubbish? Call me Lord Louis.

Vice Admiral Phillips:I shall then, Lord Louis.

Admiral of the Fleet Louis Francis Albert Victor Nicholas Mountbatten, 1st Earl Mountbatten of Burma, KG, GCB, OM, GCSI, GCIE, GCVO, DSO, PC: Splendid!

Vice Admiral Phillips: Are we permitted to say...you know what..?

Admiral of the Fleet Louis Francis Albert Victor Nicholas Mountbatten, 1st Earl Mountbatten of Burma, KG, GCB, OM, GCSI, GCIE, GCVO, DSO, PC: Oh, Tom, not you too? the cat is out of the bag. The PM himself is saying it now.

Vice Admiral Phillips: Ah, splendid then, Lord Louis.

Admiral of the Fleet Louis Francis Albert Victor Nicholas Mountbatten, 1st Earl Mountbatten of Burma, KG, GCB, OM, GCSI, GCIE, GCVO, DSO, PC:Splendid!

Vice Admiral Phillips: Indeed! <awkward pause>

Admiral of the Fleet Louis Francis Albert Victor Nicholas Mountbatten, 1st Earl Mountbatten of Burma, KG, GCB, OM, GCSI, GCIE, GCVO, DSO, PC: Tom, I think you called the meeting, something about a fantastic opportunity in theatre. I was most intrigued and I am sure the PM will be too. He is very keen on big solutions.

Vice Admiral Phillips: Splendid! That is more than I could have EVER hoped for! I have no reason to believe it won't work in Britain too!

Admiral of the Fleet Louis Francis Albert Victor Nicholas Mountbatten, 1st Earl Mountbatten of Burma, KG, GCB, OM, GCSI, GCIE, GCVO, DSO, PC: BRITAIN??? Oh, do tell Tom, do tell!

Vice Admiral Phillips: Yes sir. May I? <gestures toward chalk board and begins, with with Mountbatten's nodded assent, to draw and ellipse at the top of the board. He adds two lines to the ellipse and begins to speak again> Your Lordship, have you ever heard of multi-level marketing.................

[DuckofTindalos]

Here comes the pyramid... I'm sorry, elliptical, scheme...[:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

The Japs were annoying the Kra Peninsula troops by air from Georgetown. Time for the 10th USAAF. Heavies deployed to Moulmein do the heavy lifting. P-38's redeployed to Tavoy, sweep the air over Georgetown.

On the 24th, Jap troops retreating from Mandalay, catch the British 18th Div by itself (this is the mild victory disease part) blocking the road South. They manage a 27:1 combat ratio [X(]

The 5th Indian Div and 44th Ind Brigade are ordered up from Rangoon. Best, I think, to fall back over the Irrawaddy and regroup and let the bombers do their stuff. The Japs will either have to fight their way out on the rail line or make their escape via Lashio and thence overland to Jap territory East of Rahaeng.

[Cap Mandrake]

Important Safety Tip Number 2:


Never, EVER, corner 300,000 Jap combat troops, cut off their air and overland supply, capture their major supply stores and then make a sustained labial fricative sound in their direction! More to follow when I get past this worker bee thingy.


BTW...I know what some of you were thinking and don't even think about saying anything or I will name names. [:-]

[BrucePowers]

"Fricative"....................is that really a word???????

[Moondawggie]

"labial?" "worker bee?" "thingy?" [X(]

I bet a skilled Freudian psychoanalyst could have a field day with the contents of that message!

Take your time, Cap. Eternity can't be rushed...

[Cap Mandrake]

Important Safety Tip #3:

Never, EVER, underestimate a Mayan!


Here is what happened. Stalker Girl came over the other night and we made Italian sausage sandwiches with grilled red and green peppers, onions, hot mustard and some Dos Equis Amber. It was seriously good. After dinner my daughter announced she was going to take a bath in the master bath and to "stay out". Fair enough.

So Stalker Girl and I are putting away the kitchen stuff and she is apparently overcome by the phsyicality of the sausages so she makes the raising-the-eyebrow-are-you-thinking-what-i'm-thinking sign as soon as my daughter leaves the room. As I am a sensitive 21st century kind of guy, it does take long before I am thinking what she is thinking. As we are both standing there grinning, a serious logistical hurdle occurs to us both. The Whale Lube! Allow me to explain.

Whale Lube is the pet name we have given to a bottle of lubricant that Stalker Girl bought at toy store in Boise. It is realy called " <something> Silk". I forget the first part. It is most definitely NOT the soy milk thing. It is an English product of superior quality. The label says something like "helping people fit together and reducing friction in relationships" [:)] Anyway, Stalker Girl bought this huge, Costco-sized bottle. The first time I saw it I laughed out loud and told her "a blue whale could take that thing with him on week-long trip to Vegas and STILL have some left over".

But that was not the problem. The problem was the Whale Lube was upstairs in my bedroom which was now off-limits. Comically, my housekeeper...the Mayan in the story...has taken to neatly setting the Whale Lube on my dresser right next to an emergency, travel size bottle of Kentucky Jelly. Clearly she has understood the thematic link between the two even though I am pretty sure she does not read English..or Kentuckian. I think she barely even reads Spanish and I have never seen any hieroglyphs around the house either.

So there we are. The Whale Lube and Kentucky Jelly both out of action. Superior bummer. Wait...hello...we are in a kitchen...there it is...a 2 qt bottle of Mazola 100% canola oil. Hey..it's heart healthy, right? She nods her assent. The Mayan is downstairs watching Tele-Novelas, my daughter is upstairs...so we sneak outside by the oak trees and we are crunching all around on these noisy oak leaves looking for a secluded spot...and...yada, yada, yada. Afterward, I decided it might be odd to bring the canola oil back in so I put in on the fence with the cool lichens that the HA wants me to paint over. When I get back from work the next day it is gone! The mystery is solved when I go up to my room and there on the dresser is the Kentucky Jelly, the Silk and the Mazola oil in a neat, ascending array of bottle sizes.



More on safety tip #2 when I get home. I have some cool maps.

[BrucePowers]

Wait! Where is the editor when you him or her? I want a ruling on fricative.[:D]