From here to...well...it SEEMS like an eternity

[witpqs]

I hope the planning for the Viking funeral pyre is going well.

No worries, boss, the boys are practicing:

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: witpqs

I hope the planning for the Viking funeral pyre is going well.

No worries, boss, the boys are practicing:

Wow! That is nice. Don't forgt the EIR. I would hate to get all moldery waiting for one.

[Cap Mandrake]

***********Plenary Architural Planning Committe Meeting #82, Aru Island Airfield Design Working Group, March 15, 1943********


<we join in porgress>

Col. J. Irvine, US Army, 802nd EAB: <Col. Irvine is CIC of the nearly 8,000 US and Australian engineers on Aru Island, most, like Col. Irvine, have been here for many months. He can barely conceal his frustration> Very well, as to the design of the aviation fuel pump house structure, are we clear on that?


J. Ingratubun, Chairman Architectural Committee, Southern Aru Island Homeowner's Association: There are two issues Col. First, the roof, the bylaws clearly state all roofs must be constructed of terracotta tiles, natural color. And the walls must be painted in one of 3 approved Tuscan-themed colors, Tuscan Farmhouse, Evening Tuscan Farmhouse or Morning Tuscan Farmhouse.

Col. J. Irvine, US Army, 802nd EAB: Tuscany? Tuscany is in Italy isn't it? That must be 10,000 miles from here. It is crazy.

J. Ingratubun, Chairman Architectural Committee, Southern Aru Islan Homeowner's Association: Colonel, I did not write the bylaws. There is no need to be rude. It is designed to make the Island's building architecurally harmonious. We are also requesting that the NE corner of the compound be lined with 40 mature Italian Cypress to hide the fuel tanks.

Col. J. Irvine, US Army, 802nd EAB: Italian Cypress, are you kidding me? Those things won't grow here. Mr. Ingratubun, I would remind you there is a war on.

J. Ingratubun, Chairman Architectural Committee, Southern Aru Island Homeowner's Association: Colonel, I would remind you of the lease arrangement with the US Army. It clearly states on page 32..

Col. J. Irvine, US Army, 802nd EAB: I KNOW what it says but nobody pays attention to that stuff. If this were Samoa we would be done by now and the locals would be making large profits already. That is what we are fighting for.

J. Ingratubun, Chairman Architectural Committee, Southern Aru Island Homeowner's Association: Colonel, THIS is not Samoa and WE are not fighting the Japanese.

Col. J. Irvine, US Army, 802nd EAB: All right. Where do I get the tiles?

J. Ingratubun, Chairman Architectural Committee, Southern Aru Island Homeowner's Association: Given the war, they have become scarce. Our most reliable supplier is M & M Enterpises, Roofing Division, in Darwin.

Col. J. Irvine, US Army, 802nd EAB: And the paint?

J. Ingratubun, Chairman Architectural Committee, Southern Aru Island Homeowner's Association: M & M...

Col. J. Irvine, US Army, 802nd EAB: Let me guess. M & M Enterprises Paint Division, Darwin.

J. Ingratubun, Chairman Architectural Committee, Southern Aru Island Homeowner's Association: Indeed. How did you know?

Col. J. Irvine, US Army, 802nd EAB: A keen insight sharpened
by 18 months of experience with the 802nd EAB. Now, what is this about the runway?

Mr. Thackery, SPCA observer: Ah, yes. The runway, as currently configured, will inhibit seasonal drainage, thereby damaging the habitat of the Southern Aru bare-breasted marsh tit.

Col. J. Irvine, US Army, 802nd EAB: Couldn't the Southern Aru bare-breasted marsh tit just find another nest? There IS a war on. Don't tell me YOU aren't fighting the Japanese either.

Mr. Thackery, SPCA observer: The SPCA officially assumes a position of neutrality.

Col. J. Irvine, US Army, 802nd EAB: All right, what do you want?

Mr. Thackery, SPCA observer: The runway will need a drainge swale able to accomodate 500 cubic feet per second.

Col. J. Irvine, US Army, 802nd EAB: SWALE?! SWALE?! I can't put a swale there. It is a RUNWAY! Do you have the slightest idea what that would do to P-38 undercarriage? If we did everything you.....<composes himself>...Alright, 18 inch corrugated drainage pipe, buried.

Mr. Thackery, SPCA observer: 500 cfs.

Col. J. Irvine, US Army, 802nd EAB: Oh Jesus! Two by 18 inch, then.............

[BrucePowers]

So, the war goes well?

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

So, the war goes well?

*******SW Pac HQ, Townsville, March 15 ,1943**********

Lt. Gen. Short, CIC, SW Pac: What the hell is the hang-up with that damn airfield? I am getting some serious pressure on Operation Inchworm from CINCPAC. They want to know when we are going?

Aide: It has something to do with a homeowner's association, sir and environmental issues.

Lt. Gen. Short, CIC, SW Pac: Homeowner's Association? What the hell! Find out where their office is and arrange a premature bomb release or something.

Aide: What about the political ramifications, sir?

Lt. Gen. Short, CIC, SW Pac: Then hire that contractor, you know, the one out of Darwin.

Aide: You mean, Staff Sgt., Minderbinder, sir?

Lt. Gen. Short, CIC, SW Pac: Yeah, that's him. Make it happen. Nothing in writing of course.......

[scott64]

Aide: You mean, Staff Sgt., Minderbinder, sir?

Lt. Gen. Short, CIC, SW Pac: Yeah, that's him. Make it happen. Nothing in writing of course.......

[X(][:'(][:D]

[Heeward]

Sounds like Short is getting a bit short. [:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

As Andaman Island is still under Jap control, the run in and out of Moulemin/Tavoy is dangerous. On the 14th, the Royal Navy carriers will sortie into the Gulf of Andaman to cover inbound and oubound shipping. The weather is terrible, a favorable thing for the Royal Navy. The P-38's at Moulmein are tasked to cover transport flights to Rahaeng. The Japs have put aircraft into Victoria Point, as well.



1) 22 x Tony sweep over Moulmein, encountering 16 x RAAF Boomernag II, 20 x Spitfire and 19 x Beaufighter VIC. 11 Tony are lost to 10 RAF and RAAF fighters.

2) 15 x Jack and 6 x Sally attack Helfrich's inboudn TF. They are intercepted by the Seafire CAP, losing 11 Jack and 5 Sally to 5 Seafire. All atackers are destroyed or driven off.

3) A large raid bores in on the RN carriers. 86 X Tony, 6 x Sally, 9 x Helen are intercepted by 62 x Seafire. 46 x Tony and 1 x Helen are lost to 24 Seafire. Indomitable and Victorious come under attack but no hits are scored.

4) An unescorted raid of 13 x Sally are driven off by the CAP, half the bombers are destroyed, the remainder are driven off.

5) 9 x Tony and 3 x Sally find the outgoing transports. 5 Seafire and 4 x Tony lost. No bombers penetrate to the shipping.

6) 5 x Jack and 58 bombers attack the outgoing transports in two waves. The Seafire CAP is now depleted and the bombers break through, damaging 5 AK with the loss of 3 planes. All damged vessels are able to make 8 kts or better.

7) 17 x Zero and 17 bombers from Hanoi attack landing barges at Moulmein, losing to 11 Zero and 10 bombers to the loss of 2 Beuafighters. One LCT is damaged.

[Cap Mandrake]

The loss of 25 Seafire airframes mandates the withdrawal of the RN carriers for replenishment. The great majority of the Fleet Air Arm pilots are rescued. All the inbound transports arrive safely. One LCT will likely sink. Enemy losses are at least 100 which will take the wind out of their sails, but the problem of Andaman has not yet been resolved. The RAF and USAAF bombers are currently dedicated to interdiction of Jap ground forces in Southern Burma. They will just have to take a break to whack a few moles.

We have a plan for the 15th [;)]

[Cap Mandrake]

********Briefing Room, 90th BS(M), USAAF, Batchelor Field, Darwin, March 16, 1943(b)*************


Col. Cathcart: <fumbles with roll-up map of the Lesser Sundas. After 6 or 7 tries to get it to stay and several mumbled curses, he directs a nearby audio-visual guy to lie floor holding the map. Finally he turns toward the asembled crews>

MEN! <a single noun like that is seldom considered a complete English sentence and, therefore, would not usually warrant a puncutation mark like that, but he just stopped so I didn't know what to put. So I just put an exclamation point. Before anyone says anything I want you all to remember the cornfield. ......He looked around the room as if he were announcing the invasion plan for Kyushu or something. What can I say. He was a pompous blowhard. He couldn't help it really. It was in his genes. He came from a long line of blowhards. It didn't help the matter that a United States Army Air Force IBM machine misread a partly dislodged chad on an IBM card and changed him from a 4Z20 "supply officer, junior grade" to 3B31, "bombardmnet squadron (medium), officer, commanding">

Men! <he did it again, apparently to rally those in the audience who had suffered absence seizures during the first proclamation> Today, we are going after dock and supply facilities on Kai Island..maximum effort! <there was a low groan from the room. He glanced at the briefing summary and paused>

Sargeant, why are we going with only 14 aircraft today? This was to be a maximum effort.


Sargeant: Sir, we have number 12 and 13 dedicated to a SWPac publicity photo shoot.


Col. Cathcart: Photo shoot? Who ordered that?


Sargeant: Well sir, I am not at liberty to say.


Col. Cathcart: Not at liberty to say? Are you kidding me? I am the CO.


Sargeant: No sir, er, I mean, yes sir, you are the CO and I am not at liberty to say who ordered the photo shoot. I was ordered to destroy the order.


Col. Cathcart: Then I order you to recover the ashes. Perhaps I can reconstruct the message. Nobody takes my aircraft without my knowledge. They are property of the United States Army Air Force.

Sargeant: No sir.


Col. Cathcart: Whom do you think they belong to son?


Sargeant: Oh, it's not that sir. I meant I can't recover the ashes.


Col. Cathcart: Oh, yes you can, sargeant. I will wait here until you produce that message.


Sargeant: Yes sir, but that may take while, sir.


Col. Cathcart: Why is that, sargeant?


Sargeant: Because I ate he message sir..................

[BrucePowers]

Ipecac anyone? (Editor's note from the peanut gallery....don't blame me for the spelling of Ipecac. You are the doctor, you spell it. I am just an engineer.[:D])

PS I couldn't find the word in the dictionary either

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Ipecac anyone? (Editor's note from the peanut gallery....don't blame me for the spelling of Ipecac. You are the doctor, you spell it. I am just an engineer.[:D])

PS I couldn't find the word in the dictionary either

You would have to ask the sargeant but I suspect it is too late for Ipecac [:D] Someone will have to devise a "more energetic remedy".

[Cap Mandrake]

*********Taxiway, Batchelor Field, Darwin, 07;30, March 16, 1943(b)**********

<two B-25J's are getting their final top-offs and ammo load outs. The nose art on the lead plane consists of an attractive nude woman of decidedly non-Assyrian features. She hardly looks Armenian either. A bullet hole penetrates her ample bosom>


Yossarian: Milo, you crazy SOB. Are you sure we should be using live rounds? This seems kind of dangerous.

MM: Yossarian, you crazy, anxiety-ridden SOB. You need to trust me. Have I ever steered you wrong?

Yossarian: Well, now that you mention it, there was that time with the defective P-40 tire and.....

MM: Yossarian, your crazy, concrete-thinking SOB. That was a rhetorical question.

Yossarian: Oh.

MM: Now pay attention. We need to get there before they break for lunch.

Yossarian: Break for lunch?

MM: Did I say that? I meant before the light gets bad. Now, listen, Yossarian. Are you listening to me?

Yossarian: I'm listening. I'm listening. But I am wondering why there is no official USAAF photographer.

MM: It's a contract job, Yossarian. Try to stay with me. They want it done right. They hired M&M Productions. It's capitalism, Yossarian. That is what we are fighting for. We are fighting for a handshake and a job done well. Haven't we been over this before?

Yossarian: I guess so. It does sound familiar.

MM: Great, now remember, I want you to come in over the bay. Your target is the small building at the end of the point. The roof will have big letters that say "SAIHOA". Got that, Yossarian?

Yossarian: "SAIHOA"...got it. What does it mean?

MM: It's Japanese. Don't worry about it. Now listen, Yossarian, I want you down low as you come in over the bay. I want all the forward 50's firing. I want to see the rounds walking right up the bay toward the target. When you are about 400 yds out, the bombardier will pickle off the 250's and they will skip in. When he calls "bombs away", I want you to pull up and to the right hard. Got that Yossarian?

Yossarian: Down low...walk in rounds...pickle off....pull up. Yeah, I got it. But what about triple A? Those crazy SOB's will have a clear shot at us.

MM: Yossarian, you crazy, cautious, SOB, they aren't going to shoot at you, trust me.

Yossarian: They always do.

MM: Not this time.

Yossarian: What makes you so sure?

MM: They haven't the proper motivation. Look, I am going to be right behind you in the chase plane, filming. Do you thinking the PResident of M&M Enterprises would take such a risk.

Yossarian: Well.....

MM: Yossarian, think of the PR value! This will make great campaign material. Now get up there and for God's sake be careful about target selection, all the buildings look the same there. <Yossarian begins to climb the crew ladder. Milo walks back to the USAAF roundel on the fuselage which on close inspection is revealed to be a decal. He peels off the decal, revealing a freshly painted red meatball>

[FOW]

Me thinks that Mr J Intratubun is going to be in for a nasty surprise - Col Irvine will be pleased [:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: FOW

Me thinks that Mr J Intratubun is going to be in for a nasty surprise

[;)]

********South Aru Island Home Owner's Association offices, South Aru, 10:20, march 16, 1943************


J. Ingratubun, Chairman Architectural Committee, Southern Aru Island Homeowner's Association: ...did you see the look on the Colonel's face? "Swale? Swale"?....hahahahahaha <his compatriot, Mr Thackery laughs hard as well> I thought he was going to burst..hahahaha

Ms. Braun, Architectural Compliance Officer, Southern Aru Island Homeowner's Association: <Looks nevously at her watch> Mr. Ingratubun, I am going to have to leave the meeting early. I have a homeowner in the Sienna Gardens development who has a bit too much ochre in his Tuscan Farmhouse trim color. I am going to lower the boom on the SOB. <she picks up a large handbag with a worn copy of the Bylaws and a large brown paper lunch bag. This is somewhat odd as she usually buys lunch from Mr. Ingatubun's cousin's roadside stand. Nobody notices>

J. Ingratubun, Chairman Architectural Committee, Southern Aru Island Homeowner's Association: OK, Eva, knock some heads.

<As she leaves the office she permits herself a glance seaward. Nothing>

[Cap Mandrake]

..

[rtrapasso]

Wot? Shouldn't the Brewsters be painted Tuscan Farmhouse? [:'(]

EDIT: probably the beautiful blue and white is the colors the former owners had...

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

Wot? Shouldn't the Brewsters be painted Tuscan Farmhouse? [:'(]

EDIT: probably the beautiful blue and white is the colors the former owners had...

Late war Finnish Buffalo with Evening Tuscan Farmhouse fuselage main color and Autumn Tuscan Squash tail stripe and cowling colors. It is a little known fact these choices were inspired by the small stable of Buffaloes of the SAAF.

[Cap Mandrake]

OK...this is kinda funny. When I opened the March 17 turn. The airfield construction progress on Aru jumped from 66% to 73% overnight [:D] That is the most progress in one day...ever. [:D]

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

OK...this is kinda funny. When I opened the March 17 turn. The airfield construction progress on Aru jumped from 66% to 73% overnight [:D] That is the most progress in one day...ever. [:D]

Looks like someone's been under-reporting their progress. But who would do such a thing? And perhaps more significantly, why? Hmmmm.......