sometime late summer, 1941

[Preuss]

Weeks after the first vicious onslaught of Generalfeldmarschall von Techex's Fascist armies, the valiant Red Army is building strength for the inevitable counteroffensive that will see us drinking wine along the Spree and deflowering young German girls.

Stand by for reports from the various fronts.......

Far West: This command is led by the able Corporal Preussanovsky (yes, the same one demoted from Marshall after the last failure) is tasked with marching towards the Ploesti oilfields, whilst living off the land and disrupting the supply lines of our villainous foe. A strong presence of NKVD troops will lead in the van and follow at the rear to motivate the troops.

Leningrad Front: A deep, impenetrable line has been built by that coattail-rider Zhukov. Red air units are duelling with the Finns are spilling much blood over the Neva...unfortunately the smell of vodka rising from the red pools tell us who is doing the dying. No German ground troops present as of yet.

Kalinin Front: General Meretskov reports the first meetings with enemy troops who have reached the end of their supply lines. Strong armored forces are at hand to deal with any possible (however unlikely) breakthroughs.

West Front: General Konev has constructed parallel deep lines filled with tanks, millions of bayonets, and minefields to keep the Hun at bay. German Units are reportedly 40 miles from the foremost line at the end of their supplies. Our scorched-earth policy has left nary a potato to the invader.

Moscow Front: The five Shock armies stand ready to counterattack the Fascists when ordered. First Shock army reports a tank strength of 1,000 of the Rodina's newest and most powerful designs. General Vatutin is confident of victory, expecting the Germans to be rolled under a mass of stell the likes of which have never been seen before.

Orel Front: General Bagramyan is filling his deepening lines with the flower of Soviet manhood. (please, no jokes about emasculation)

Voronezh Front: Fighting delaying actions against the enemy while moving eastwards toward the city of that name where other troops are preparing to repulse the invader.

Kharkov Front: Kharkov being now emptied of factories is preparing for a delaying action against the Fascisti while troops further to the rear organize and equip.

Southern Front: Face to face with the Hun who is at the end of his supply strength. No attack expected for a few weeks. General Vasielevskii expects more than a few German and Rumanian noses to be bloodied before withdrawing to prepare for a counterstroke.

North Caucases Front: Building a line including the defence of Rostov on Don.

Air Front: Special training regimens assure that units of the VVS will be on a skill parity with the Fascists by the first snows.

Production Front: All factories and workers are now producing the newest and best designs to be created by the worker's intellect.

Technological Front: A special unit is now training dogs to attack the German panzers. The training regimen requires dogs with saddlebags loaded with explosive to eat under the front glacis of a few t-34 tanks set aside for special operations. It is expected that many Fascist tanks will be destroyed this way. To add some irony, only German Shepherds will be used. More reports of Soviet ingenuity to follow....