From here to...well...it SEEMS like an eternity

[rtrapasso]

Private:Yes sir, splendid. <column begins to pull away and the Private turns to his squadmates> Excitiable type, that Lt. Still, can't blame him after what teh Jap's did to his face....

[:D] [:D] [:D]

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

Private:Yes sir, splendid. <column begins to pull away and the Private turns to his squadmates> Excitiable type, that Lt. Still, can't blame him after what teh Jap's did to his face....

[:D] [:D] [:D]

I think I missed the setup to that joke. [:(]

[bradfordkay]

Something about his "google eyes", I think...&nbsp;

[rtrapasso]

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

Private:Yes sir, splendid. <column begins to pull away and the Private turns to his squadmates> Excitiable type, that Lt. Still, can't blame him after what teh Jap's did to his face....

[:D] [:D] [:D]

I think I missed the setup to that joke. [:(]

Start here:
fb.asp?m=1957260
then here:
fb.asp?m=1957827

[Cap Mandrake]

********Presidential Daily Briefing, White House, March 24, 1943******

Secretary with ample bosom over intercom: Mr. President, it is General Marshall and Admiral King here for your PDB.

Tall, patrician-looking guy: PDB? Shouldn't the doctor do that? By the way, find me a doctor with smaller fingers next time. That last guy was a gorilla and I don't mean the kind that lives in the jungle and ambushes the Japs, either.

Secretary with ample bosom over intercom: Oh..no sir, PDB means Presidential Daily Briefing.

Tall, patrician-looking guy:Oh, why didn't you say so? And how many times do I have to tell you people to stop using those abbreviation things....what do you call them?

Secretary with ample bosom over intercom: Acronyms sir?

Tall, patrician-looking guy: Yeah that's it..acronyms. Take a memo...no Presidential Directive...what am I up to?

Secretary with ample bosom over intercom: 10124, Mr. President.

Tall, patrician-looking guy: Good...I....blah, blah, blah..do hereby order that everybody..and that includes the Army, the Navy, those guys in Congress..blah, blah, blah..everybody, just put in the usual stuff..I hereby order that they stop forthwith...blah, blah, blah...all use of those abbreviation thingys..signed..balh, blah, blah. Just dress it up and get it back to me later today, OK?

Secretary with ample bosom over intercom: Yes, sir, Mr. President. And what about the Admiral and the General, sir?

Tall, patrician-looking guy: Oh, send them in...and Ms. Goodhead, what are you wearing today?

Secretary with ample bosom over intercom: <lowers her voice>
Why it's that cashmere sweater you bought me for Christmas, Mr. President.

Tall, patrician-looking guy: With brasierre or without?

Secretary with ample bosom over intercom:Without, sir.

Tall, patrician-looking guy: SPLENDID!..Oh...and Ms. Goodhead, get one of those Philippino guys in the kitchen to move a couple of hams out of the walk-in fridge, I'll meet you there in 30 minutes.

Secretary with ample bosom over intercom:Yes, Mr. President. I'll send in the General and the Admiral now.

<Admiral King and General Marshall enter the room. They are embarrased to find him with his shirt partly open and one hand in his armpit. The tall, patricain-looking guy metions them in>>

Tall, patrician-looking guy:No, no, come in guys. Watch this. <he begins to pump his arm up and down while repositioning his opposite hand in the inviting resonant space. His face contorts wildy with the effort. A faintly familiar "melody" is heard by all>

What do you think, guys. It was Batch.

General Marshall: Don't you mean Bakh, Mr. President?

Tall, patrician-looking guy:Never heard of him, General.

General Marshall: No sir, I mean it's pronounced Bakh

Tall, patrician-looking guy: Well, it looks like Batch to me. Why doesn't he just spell it with a "k" or something. I hate silly names.

General Marshall: He was German, sir.

Tall, patrician-looking guy: A Kraut? I hate Krauts. Why didn't somebody tell me? I don't want to hear any more Kraut music in the White House, is that clear?

Admiral King: Yes sir. No Kraut music sir. Sir, we do have an important bit of information this morning. I thought we might start with that. It seems Japanese radio traffic strongly suggests
a coup d'etat in the Japanese high command.

Tall, patrician-looking guy: A what?

Admiral King: A coup d'etat, sir.

Tall, patrician-looking guy: A what?

Admiral King:<shows the other man the written briefing> One of these sir.

Tall, patrician-looking guy: Oh, a coop dee eetaht. Jeez, can't you guys speak English?.....

[Cap Mandrake]

Lt. Uppington-Smyth is famous.


Type in Lt. Uppington-Smyth in a Google search. [:)]

[Cap Mandrake]

*******Encamptment of the 2nd of the 81st Philippino Army Division, Vitu Levu, March 25, 1943(b)**********


A small group of thatched huts sit on stilts in a beautiful lagoon. 2 1/2 dozen brown-skinned men sit idly against the huts. All, save a few, are shirtless and all have cut-off fatigues as shorts. A dozen M1's lie in a heap, rusting in the tropical humidity. A man in a threadbare Philippino Army officer's uniform approaches. He pushes a small handcart with rectangular frames.

Maj. Quimbo: MEN! I have great news. I have contracted with a private seaplane operator to get us to Darwin. To raise the necessary fare we need only to "move" a few of these beautiful original Gaugin's......

[Cap Mandrake]

These poor guys [:)]

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: bradfordkay

Something about his "google eyes", I think... 

Doh! Sorry. I'm just not very quick.

[tabpub]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

These poor guys [:)]

Hey now!! I did get them 1/2 of the way to to Darwin or wherever their buddies are located these days...give me some time, I am sure that I have a damaged AK laying around there that needs some port time in Aussieland. I'll throw them on board and they can pay their way by stripping paint all the way from Suva to Sydney.

[Moondawggie]

Hmmm: it would appear Admiral Tabpub and Captain Mandrake have the makings of a bet here. Who will reach their destination first?

Lt. Uppington-Smyth linking up with the beleagured 7th Armored?

Or the 2nd of the 81st PA Division reaching the streets of Sydney?

The world wonders...

[Onime No Kyo]

Do you really feel like waiting 3 more years?

[Moondawggie]

You are suggesting that this AAR is quite well named, I take it? [:)]

[Onime No Kyo]

Very apt description of the timeframes involved in WitP, yes. [:D]

[BrucePowers]

I'll go with the 81st PA division[:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

************SPCA Headquarters for the Entire Pacific, San Francisco, March 25, 1943(b)*********

Across from a large desk made of recycled plywood sits a portly man in deck shoes, an extra large blue golf shirt and a silly captain's hat. Behind the desk is a matronly woman, I think, with broad shoulders and close-cropped silver hair.

CINCPAC/SPCA: Skipper, how have you been feeling?

Skipper: I am feeling better. It's been hard.

CINCPAC/SPCA: Have you been seeing anyone?

Skipper: Well, there is this brunette, she's a good cook and cute, everyone thinks so. I've been meaning to...

CINCPAC/SPCA: Oh..no..I meant professionally...since...well..you know.

Skipper: Oh..no..<becomes pensive> You know, I had to throw away my favorite pair of deck shoes. I couldn't get the..the..<trails off>

CINCPAC/SPCA: <it is evident her charge is not ready for duty, especially the challenging one she has in mind, but it has been a long war and the cupboard is empty. She decides to change the subject> Skipper, did you hear about the business at Aru Island?

Skipper: <composing himself> Yes, Reg was a good friend. We were at the Academy together. He was a birder, you know.

CINCPAC/SPCA: Yes I did.... Well.... Skipper, it's like this, I need someone to fill his shoes. Right now. Can you go?

Skipper: <straightens up> If the SPCA needs me I can go.

CINCPAC/SPCA: The Southern Aru Marsh Tit needs you, Skipper.

Skipper: I'LL DO IT!

CINCPAC/SPCA: Boffo! ....Skip...there is one thing. I am not
sure about the official story of a Japanese attack. Several reports suggest the offending plane was a B-25.

Skipper: B-25? Why..that would mean...

CINCPAC/SPCA: PRECISELY! I can't prove anything yet, but I want you to be careful.

Skipper: The bastards! This whole thing was avoidable if they had just gone to the League of Nations. I will shed no tear if they exterminate each other but why must the Marsh Tit suffer?

CINCPAC/SPCA: That is why we are here, Skip, that is why we are here. You leave at 18:00 on M&M Aviation, stops in Oahu, Pitcarin, Townsville and Darwin, then on to Aru. Let me treat you to a tofurkey sandwich then I can drop you at your place. I am going that way...anti-global cooling rally, you know.....

[Cap Mandrake]

********Aru Island Airfield, under construction, March 25, 1943(b)*******

Col. Irvine is dismayed to see an idle bulldozer on the edge of the runway as he approaches, driving his own jeep. He slams on the brakes and slews to a stop on the gravel, bounding out of the jeep almsot before it stops. A group of Engineers stand in front of the dozer.

Col. Irvine: LT.! WHY IS MY DOZER NOT RUNNING?

Lt. Browbeaten: <Stands up froim his squatting position and salutes> Sir! It's a Marsh Tit nest, sir. Sir, they are courting or something!

Col. Irvine: <He strides quickly toward the show, unsnaps his holster and draws his 45. As the men scramble back he empties 5 rounds into the nest. A fine red mist and a cloud of Southern Aru Marsh Tit down fill the air.> I don't see any God damned Marsh Tits. <He replaces his 45> Now get this God damned dozer running and build my God damned runway. NOW!


Aru Airfield now at 91% readiness.

[Cap Mandrake]

*********Sitrep Burma and Siam, March 25, 1943*********

Rahaeng: The Japs apparently found some stray artillery ammunition lying about as they have begun to bombard the blocking force. Given the spectacular number of Jap tubes concentrated there (>1200), it is not very effective, but they may now be drawing supply from Lashio by trail or from Luang Prabang over the mountains. I doubt they have the ability to eject the Commonwealth forces at Rahaeng wich are now well supplied. The RAF Wellys at Imphal are ordered to attrit the Burma Area Army but the weather is bad. It looks like the whole thing will turn into a giant Falaise pocket, with the bulk of the units wrecked for months but some escaping to the East. 7th Armoured is NE of Rahaeng and is ordered to shock attack and pursue a smaller group of Japs. It is possible 7th Armoured might be able to pursue them toward Luang Prabang and take the place, which is likely ungarisoned. If that were to happen it would unhinge his defence at Bangkok and threaten Hanoi. It is also possible they will get stuck among the Hmong tribesmen in their bright ceremonial garbs and be there for Christmas.

Southern Line: No Jap attack on the Burma/Singapore rail line. The Jap 5th division is identified in the line and was hit heavily by B-17 raids from Moulmein. The first help is 2-3 days away. There is a very large Jap force at Bangkok. They could go West. They could be digging in or they could try to take Krung Thep and relieve the Burma Area Army. There is a Chindit Brigade and two weak Chinese divisiosn at Krung Thep.

Rangoon: Now fully repaired. 10th Air Force and SEAC are relocating there. The RAF heavies have been moved down from Chandpur. 2 Brit infantry divisions are getting R&R there. They are not combat ready after they were forced to retreat during the movement of the BAA.

Lashio: 2 1/2 Jap divisions now at Lashio but they have been on the Burma Road for a long time and are in bad shape. The single Commonwealth Brigade beseiging the town will be reinforced by another brigade from Manadalay. Lashio will be a tough nut and will require much more offensive punch or a prolonged air campaign.

Andaman: More bombers spotted at Andaman. Time for more whack-a-mole

[Cap Mandrake]

BTW...anyone know where the Jap 5th Div might have come from? China, I suppose.

Pretend I never really looked at the Jap OOB.

[Cap Mandrake]

*********Over the South China Sea between Singapore and Hanoi, 13;40, March 24, 1943*********


A single A6M5 sidles up next to a huge Mavis floatplane. The pilot checks the markings, confirming it is the command aircraft of the IJA commander for all of SE Asia and China. The fighter pilot is on a special mission from Borneo, which is unusual, as the field from which he flies is under a different command. He waves, waggles his wings, then peels off to the right of the bigger plane, climbing as he turns.

Two minutes later, the Mavis is in a flaming death spiral, shorn of most of its starboard wing. [;)]