From here to...well...it SEEMS like an eternity

Post descriptions of your brilliant successes and unfortunate demises.

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FeurerKrieg
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RE: Wargaming

Post by FeurerKrieg »

Red Team Leader: I want a Daitai of Mavis at Port Blair.

Blue Team Leader: But Port Blair airfield has been abandoned. If they move in there we want one of those red airfield thingys on our map. Then we will bomb the crap out of them the next morning. <blue team laughs among themselves>

Red Team Leader: But that's stupid. How are they going to find out in the middle of the night?

Staffer 1 (Umpire): I am inclined to rule with the Blue Team on this one.

Red Team Leader: BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR! You ALWAYS side with them. You are a closet Allied Fanboy.

Staffer 1 (Umpire): I AM NOT! Look, it is just simply the way it is. Do you want to play or not? Blue gets the little red airfield thingy on their map if you move in Mavis's at night.

That's funny - I did a post about the same issue in my short-lived AAR of this game.
February 14, 1943, Saigon

Gen FK: He said what?

Intelligence Officer: Our operative in Karachi says that the British Command has a large map of the theater they do their planning on, and if we have planes in an airbase, they place a red airfield symbol on that base in the morning, BEFORE they issue orders to their bomber groups.

FK: That means they must have agents of their own at or near all of our airbases.

IO: That would be my guess, sir.

FK: Do these 'symbols' indicate how many planes are at the base?

IO: Not clear sir, it seems that there might be a couple levels of quantity measurement, but that even low amounts cause them to place a symbol.

FK: And then they bomb the bases that have symbols?

IO: It would seem so.

FK: What if we only have one plane at a base?

IO: It gets a symbol.

FK: One more question - why don't we get similar information on the enemy airfields?

IO: Not clear, but we suspect it has something to do with an order issued by an unofficial intelligence source in Tokyo name Turnfile.

FK: Yes, I've heard of him from my partner, Cuttlefish. I see. So by the Order of Turnfile, the Allies have gained an intelligence advantage over us. Oh well, no one ever said war had to be fair.
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BrucePowers
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RE: Wargaming

Post by BrucePowers »

[:D][:D]
For what we are about to receive, may we be truly thankful.

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Cap Mandrake
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RE: Wargaming

Post by Cap Mandrake »

ORIGINAL: Feurer Krieg


That's funny - I did a post about the same issue in my short-lived AAR of this game.

Yes...let's hope they sort that out in AE. [;)]

BTW...if we waterboard you, will you tell us where the Jap carriers are?
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FeurerKrieg
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RE: Wargaming

Post by FeurerKrieg »

You aren't allowed to waterboard me. Although some still don't call it torture, the Administration says they "don't do that anymore". [:D]
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Cap Mandrake
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RE: Wargaming

Post by Cap Mandrake »

ORIGINAL: Feurer Krieg

You aren't allowed to waterboard me. Although some still don't call it torture, the Administration says they "don't do that anymore". [:D]

Don't be so smug. There is still extraordinary rendition. You will be singing a different tune if we send you to New Guinea and your "questioning" takes place next to a big pot of boiling carrots and celery. Of course, I guess we would have to capture New Guinea first.
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Cap Mandrake
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RE: Wargaming

Post by Cap Mandrake »

*******SEAC HQ, Rangoon, April 5, 1943, Burmese Python Wargame******

Voice of Staffer 1 (umpire):
<heard on PA system> Attention all Burmese Python players, it has come to my attention that some players are trying to peak into the umpire's room during restroom breaks. This is unacceptable. Also, there is a request that all participants bathe at least every two days. Please see to this before Admiral Mountbatten comes by later. Thank you. Game weather today will be...wait for it....thunderstorms <a groan is heard from the Blue Team room>
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FeurerKrieg
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RE: Wargaming

Post by FeurerKrieg »

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
ORIGINAL: Feurer Krieg

You aren't allowed to waterboard me. Although some still don't call it torture, the Administration says they "don't do that anymore". [:D]

Don't be so smug. There is still extraordinary rendition. You will be singing a different tune if we send you to New Guinea and your "questioning" takes place next to a big pot of boiling carrots and celery. Of course, I guess we would have to capture New Guinea first.


That's all hype - you've been watching too many 'Dimension Extreme' films.

http://www.dimensionextreme.com/film.php?id=2
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Cap Mandrake
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Inchworm

Post by Cap Mandrake »

***SITREP, Operation Inchworm, April 5, 1943****

All Jap resistance on Kai Island has been eliminated. The SPCA replacement representative is still laid up on South Aru after a most unfortunate intestinal malady, therefore, some of Col Irvine's boys, having been transfered to Kai Is. by LCT, are working hard to extend the runway to accomodate B-25's and A-20's. The endangered Kai Island Full Breasted Palm Wren will just have to find another palm tree.

HMS PoW and escorts are laying off Kai to protect supply and troop transports disembarking there. This was too much for the Jap air runits at Amboina to resist. They send over 13 Bettys escorted by 48 Jack and 37 Tonys. A combined USAAF and RAAF force awaits them. 62 P-38's, 13 Spits, 12 Kittyhawk I's and 8 Boomerangs rise to defend the ships. 85 Jap fighters vs 95 Allied. A total of 60 Jap fighters are downed to 46 Allied. 2 Bettys are destroyed, the rest driven off. The kill ratio is 1.5:1.

A second raid in the afternoon of 34 Tonys and Jacks and 6 Bettys confronts a total of 46 Allied fighters. The kill ratio is a bit over 2:1 in favor of the Allies. Again no shipping is hit.

When the weather clears, it may be time for a P-38 sweep over Amboina followed by a big daylight B-24 raid from Darwin. When Amboina is tamped down a bit and the shipping involved in Inchworm is freed up, phase 2 will begin.

Kai Is. has finally been demined, although the the Dutch DD, Van Ghent, has a big hole in her side for her efforts and will be out of the war for months. Shipping losses for Inchworm have all come from sea mines. 2 x LCT's sunk. USS Rathburn, HMNZS Leander and Van Ghent all damaged and will need dry dock time.
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Cap Mandrake
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Amchitka

Post by Cap Mandrake »

In the Aleutians, Amchitka is being refinforced. Previously the island was garrisoned by half a dozen Aleuts, who, if the truth be told, were illegally poaching narwhals when they only had baby seal tags and a single courageous SPCA observer, who, curiously, has gone missing.

In terrible weather, a transport group escorted by USS Richmond, Mahan, Dewey and Cummings, were disembarking supplies, Seabees, aviation support personnel and 4th RCT. A big Jap force from Kiska consisting over over 100 Jacks, Tonys, Sallys, Kates and Bettys found a break in the weather and pounded the transport group, overwhelming the RCAF Kittyhawk Sdrn flying LRCAP from Adak. Mahan and Dewey were sunk by two torps each. Richmond took 3 torps and 4 bomb hits but will likely survive if she can avoid Jap subs. One AK was heavily damaged. All the troops are saely ashore.
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tabpub
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RE: Amchitka

Post by tabpub »

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

In the Aleutians, Amchitka is being refinforced. Previously the island was garrisoned by half a dozen Aleuts, who, if the truth be told, were illegally poaching narwhals when they only had baby seal tags and a single courageous SPCA observer, who, curiously, has gone missing.

In terrible weather, a transport group escorted by USS Richmond, Mahan, Dewey and Cummings, were disembarking supplies, Seabees, aviation support personnel and 4th RCT. A big Jap force from Kiska consisting over over 100 Jacks, Tonys, Sallys, Kates and Bettys found a break in the weather and pounded the transport group, overwhelming the RCAF Kittyhawk Sdrn flying LRCAP from Adak. Mahan and Dewey were sunk by two torps each. Richmond took 3 torps and 4 bomb hits but will likely survive if she can avoid Jap subs. One AK was heavily damaged. All the troops are saely ashore.

Dutch Harbor NorPac HQ; 5 APR 1943

Rear Adm R. (Rusty) Theobald:Ok, that does it for the updates on the air groups in my command; so, what's the story behind this fiasco at Amchitka? I presume that something critical was being unloaded for them to have hung around for an extra day there?

Generic Staff Member:<shuffles papers> Um, yes sir; I have it here sir.
<finally finds the flimsy from the radio room> The commander of Richmond reports that one of the freighters had a broken crane; had to repair it to unload the last EV 110-ASS for the Seebee unit. That delayed their departure and were then struck by the air raid.
He thinks that he can get Richmond to Adak overnight; AK A. Luckenbach is severely hurt and might founder on the way though.

Rear Adm R. (Rusty) Theobald:I don't recall that designation on the CB TOE; what is it? It must have been important to the construction troops.

Generic Staff Member:<pages thru the NORPAC copy of "Official Navy Designations, Pacific Theater, updated 12/42; a tome the size of the whole NYC phone book> Um, yes; here it is. That designation stands for.....um...."Mule, Pack; used in lieu of 1/4 ton Dodge Truck in severe environment; 12 per Naval Construction Battalion".
<closes book slowly>

Rear Adm R. (Rusty) Theobald:A MULE!!! A MOTHER FU*&%$&*% MULE!! THAT AS)(&)(&E GOT A CRUISER CRIPPLED AND 2 DD SUNK FOR A MULE!!.....<throws his coffee mug at the staffer, who agilely ducks; you can see the dents in the Quonset Hut (uninsulated) where this has happened before> ...and IF he brings Richmond in to port, his next duty is Weather Station Nome....if he DOESN'T....well, an IJN commander would know what to do.....

Generic Staff Member:<stammers> Yeeesss siiirr....got it; <jots in notebook in shorthand>
Get Richmond home and go to Nome; don't, better learn to float.
<Opens door to leave>

Rear Adm R. (Rusty) Theobald:<screams to staffer> AND FIND OUT WHERE MY INSULATED QUONSET IS!! IT'S F$%%$ING FREEZING IN HERE!!

Sing to the tune of "Man on the Flying Trapeze"
..Oh! We fly o'er the treetops with inches to spare,
There's smoke in the cockpit and gray in my hair.
The tracers look fine as a strafin' we go.
But, brother, we're TOO God damn low...
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BrucePowers
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RE: Amchitka

Post by BrucePowers »

You guys need to stop using M&M Enterprises[:D]
For what we are about to receive, may we be truly thankful.

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Cap Mandrake
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Latrine seat covers, insulated

Post by Cap Mandrake »

..

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witpqs
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RE: Latrine seat covers, insulated

Post by witpqs »

[:D]

Global cooling in SWPAC:



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Cap Mandrake
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Is that a green African parrot?

Post by Cap Mandrake »

ORIGINAL: witpqs

[:D]

Global cooling in SWPAC:


Like canaries in a coal mine, it is always the poor suffering birds who seem to be hardest hit by man-made climate change. [:(]

Those annoying Green African Parrots are all over heavily treed areas of Orange County. Flying vermin they are. Noisy flying vermin in great flocks of 50-100.
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BrucePowers
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RE: Is that a green African parrot?

Post by BrucePowers »

What part of Orange County? I sometimes have to go to Huntington Beach.
For what we are about to receive, may we be truly thankful.

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Onime No Kyo
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RE: Is that a green African parrot?

Post by Onime No Kyo »

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
ORIGINAL: witpqs

[:D]

Global cooling in SWPAC:


Like canaries in a coal mine, it is always the poor suffering birds who seem to be hardest hit by man-made climate change. [:(]

Those annoying Green African Parrots are all over heavily treed areas of Orange County. Flying vermin they are. Noisy flying vermin in great flocks of 50-100.

Paging Dr. Mandrake, paging Dr. Mandrake......your presence is required in the Geezer thread. [:D]
"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok
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witpqs
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RE: Is that a green African parrot?

Post by witpqs »

Hey Cap,

Is that you standing in the back right corner of the map?



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Cap Mandrake
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RE: Is that a green African parrot?

Post by Cap Mandrake »

ORIGINAL: witpqs

Hey Cap,

Is that you standing in the back right corner of the map?



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Now take two steps forward and allemand right around the Monument........
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bradfordkay
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RE: Is that a green African parrot?

Post by bradfordkay »

I'm trying to correlate what I see there with the map in Fallout 3...[8|]
fair winds,
Brad
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John 3rd
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RE: Is that a green African parrot?

Post by John 3rd »

Good Gawd!&nbsp; I haven't read this AAR since I had to leave the campaign and turn it over to people much more qualified then me!&nbsp; I have nearly spewed several times reading just this page of the AAR.&nbsp; Great commentary and humor Gentlemen.&nbsp; Well Done.

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