From here to...well...it SEEMS like an eternity
Moderators: wdolson, Don Bowen, mogami
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CarnageINC
- Posts: 2208
- Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2005 2:47 am
- Location: Rapid City SD
RE: Maps
I do love your maps Cap Mandrake, is that gimpy leg still bothering you? [;)] Never mind, carry on, carry on my good sir.... [:D]
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Cap Mandrake
- Posts: 20737
- Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2002 8:37 am
- Location: Southern California
11B12/J
*******New Zealand Army recruiting station, Dunedin, October 11, 1939******
Sgt: ......marital status
Recruit: Single, Sgt., sir
Sgt: You don't have to say sir, son
Recruit: Yes, sir
Sgt: All right, free of diseases?
Recruit: Communicable only or hereditary?
Sgt: What on Earth? Son, do you have anything that is catchy? That's what they want to know.
Recruit: Oh, no sir.
Sgt: Fine, foreign languages spoken?
Recruit: Yes, sir, Hebrew.
Sgt: Hebrew? <looks carefully at list> Hmmm...don't see it. Never heard of it.
Recruit: It's the ancient language of the Jews, sir.
Sgt: Jews, you say?
Recruit: Yes, sir.
Sgt: Well, no wonder, it's Jewish then. Why didn't you just say so. <looks peaved and marks a big "J" in the language box> NEXT!
Sgt: ......marital status
Recruit: Single, Sgt., sir
Sgt: You don't have to say sir, son
Recruit: Yes, sir
Sgt: All right, free of diseases?
Recruit: Communicable only or hereditary?
Sgt: What on Earth? Son, do you have anything that is catchy? That's what they want to know.
Recruit: Oh, no sir.
Sgt: Fine, foreign languages spoken?
Recruit: Yes, sir, Hebrew.
Sgt: Hebrew? <looks carefully at list> Hmmm...don't see it. Never heard of it.
Recruit: It's the ancient language of the Jews, sir.
Sgt: Jews, you say?
Recruit: Yes, sir.
Sgt: Well, no wonder, it's Jewish then. Why didn't you just say so. <looks peaved and marks a big "J" in the language box> NEXT!
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Cap Mandrake
- Posts: 20737
- Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2002 8:37 am
- Location: Southern California
RE: 11B12/J
******Norfolk Is., midway between New Zealand and ...ah...what the Hell, everyone reading this knows where that is by now...10:20, April 26, 1943****
2 squads of men from 3rd New Zealand Brigade form a semicircle around a crude log and earthen bunker dug into a hillside. They have heard stories about Emperor Brand Kool-Aide so they assume protected positions and have their weapons at the ready.
Lt.: TRANSLATOR! UP HERE NOW! <a Cpl. scampers next to the Lt.> Tell them to come out now and they won't be harmed.
11B12/J: Yes sir. <turns toward the bunker and begins yelling> OFFICUH..SAY...COME...OUT...NOW...NO SHOOTIE.
Lt.: Wait a minute, Cpl. that sounded like pidgin.
11B12/J: Yes sir.
Lt.: But your rating says you speak a foreign language.
11B12/J: Yes sir.
Lt.: Well, USE IT, DAMNIT!
11B12/J: Yes sir. <turns again toward the bunker> SHALOM!
Lt.: Hold on. That wasn't Japanese.
11B12/J: No sir, Hebrew, sir.
Lt.: Well, a lot of bloody good that will do us here. What are the odds they will speak Hebrew, Cpl.
11B12/J: I would say very remote, sir.
Lt.: I would say just about nil, Cpl.
11B12/J: Yes sir. More likely "nil" than "very remote", sir.
Lt.: Cpl., I could be wrong, but doesn't the "J" designate "Japanese" speaker?
11B12/J: Oh, no sir, you are absolutely right. The "J" is for Japanese, sir.
Lt.: But you don't speak Japanese?
11B12/J: No sir, not a word.
Lt.: How did you get that designation, Cpl.?
11B12/J: It's a long story sir. Are you sure you want to hear it?
Lt.: No, perhaps not. Why don't you change it Cpl.?
11B12/J: Oh, I tired to sir. I signed up for the His Majesty's Royal New Zealand Armed Forces Japanese Illiteracy Test.
Lt.: Do you mean to tell me there is a test to PROVE you don't speak Japanese?
11B12/J: Yes sir.
Lt.: Well, then, I should think you would pass with flying colors.
11B12/J: Yes sir, that is what I thought.
Lt.: And?
11B12/J: And, what, sir?
Lt.: And, did you pass the Japanese Illiteracy Test? How is it you still have the "J" on your designation? After all, we are trying to run a war here, aren't we?
11B12/J: Yes sir, I have heard we are trying to run a war, although sometimes you could fool me, sir.
Lt.: Yes, yes, but what about the illiteracy test?
11B12/J: Oh, yes sir, I took it three times.
Lt.: Three times? And?
11B12/J: Yes sir, failed every time.
Lt.: But you just told me you don't speak a word of Japanese?
11B12/J: No sir, not a word.
Lt.: Then how could you possibly fail an illiteracy test three times in a language of which you know nothing?
11B12/J: Well, sir, it's multiple choice, sir. And the instructions, sir...well...
Lt.: Well, what, Cpl.?
11B12/J: Well, you se sir, the instruction are IN Japanese.
Lt.: <after a pause> Sweet Jesus!
11B12/J: Yes sir, that is pretty much what I said each time..."Sweet Jesus!"
Lt.: <looks confused> But the..why would you use an expression, like "Sweet Jesus" if you are....well.....you know?
11B12/J: Know what, sir?
Lt.: Well...you know...if you are...oh come on..you know what I mean.
11B12/J: Ohhh, you mean Jewish sir? Yes, I just try to fit in.
Lt.: <rubs face with both hands for several seconds> Uhhhhh. That is quite forward thinking of you , Cpl. What say you we try the Japs again? How about "chop chop" to convey urgency?
11B12/J: Isn't that CHINESE, sir?
Lt.: Just try it, Cpl.
11B12/J: <turns toward the bunker> OFFICUH..SAY...COME...OUT...NOW...CHOP CHOP!
Holy Crap...gotta go...Stalker Girl is here..I am so whipped. [:)]
To be continued
2 squads of men from 3rd New Zealand Brigade form a semicircle around a crude log and earthen bunker dug into a hillside. They have heard stories about Emperor Brand Kool-Aide so they assume protected positions and have their weapons at the ready.
Lt.: TRANSLATOR! UP HERE NOW! <a Cpl. scampers next to the Lt.> Tell them to come out now and they won't be harmed.
11B12/J: Yes sir. <turns toward the bunker and begins yelling> OFFICUH..SAY...COME...OUT...NOW...NO SHOOTIE.
Lt.: Wait a minute, Cpl. that sounded like pidgin.
11B12/J: Yes sir.
Lt.: But your rating says you speak a foreign language.
11B12/J: Yes sir.
Lt.: Well, USE IT, DAMNIT!
11B12/J: Yes sir. <turns again toward the bunker> SHALOM!
Lt.: Hold on. That wasn't Japanese.
11B12/J: No sir, Hebrew, sir.
Lt.: Well, a lot of bloody good that will do us here. What are the odds they will speak Hebrew, Cpl.
11B12/J: I would say very remote, sir.
Lt.: I would say just about nil, Cpl.
11B12/J: Yes sir. More likely "nil" than "very remote", sir.
Lt.: Cpl., I could be wrong, but doesn't the "J" designate "Japanese" speaker?
11B12/J: Oh, no sir, you are absolutely right. The "J" is for Japanese, sir.
Lt.: But you don't speak Japanese?
11B12/J: No sir, not a word.
Lt.: How did you get that designation, Cpl.?
11B12/J: It's a long story sir. Are you sure you want to hear it?
Lt.: No, perhaps not. Why don't you change it Cpl.?
11B12/J: Oh, I tired to sir. I signed up for the His Majesty's Royal New Zealand Armed Forces Japanese Illiteracy Test.
Lt.: Do you mean to tell me there is a test to PROVE you don't speak Japanese?
11B12/J: Yes sir.
Lt.: Well, then, I should think you would pass with flying colors.
11B12/J: Yes sir, that is what I thought.
Lt.: And?
11B12/J: And, what, sir?
Lt.: And, did you pass the Japanese Illiteracy Test? How is it you still have the "J" on your designation? After all, we are trying to run a war here, aren't we?
11B12/J: Yes sir, I have heard we are trying to run a war, although sometimes you could fool me, sir.
Lt.: Yes, yes, but what about the illiteracy test?
11B12/J: Oh, yes sir, I took it three times.
Lt.: Three times? And?
11B12/J: Yes sir, failed every time.
Lt.: But you just told me you don't speak a word of Japanese?
11B12/J: No sir, not a word.
Lt.: Then how could you possibly fail an illiteracy test three times in a language of which you know nothing?
11B12/J: Well, sir, it's multiple choice, sir. And the instructions, sir...well...
Lt.: Well, what, Cpl.?
11B12/J: Well, you se sir, the instruction are IN Japanese.
Lt.: <after a pause> Sweet Jesus!
11B12/J: Yes sir, that is pretty much what I said each time..."Sweet Jesus!"
Lt.: <looks confused> But the..why would you use an expression, like "Sweet Jesus" if you are....well.....you know?
11B12/J: Know what, sir?
Lt.: Well...you know...if you are...oh come on..you know what I mean.
11B12/J: Ohhh, you mean Jewish sir? Yes, I just try to fit in.
Lt.: <rubs face with both hands for several seconds> Uhhhhh. That is quite forward thinking of you , Cpl. What say you we try the Japs again? How about "chop chop" to convey urgency?
11B12/J: Isn't that CHINESE, sir?
Lt.: Just try it, Cpl.
11B12/J: <turns toward the bunker> OFFICUH..SAY...COME...OUT...NOW...CHOP CHOP!
Holy Crap...gotta go...Stalker Girl is here..I am so whipped. [:)]
To be continued
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Cap Mandrake
- Posts: 20737
- Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2002 8:37 am
- Location: Southern California
RE: 11B12/J
******Norfolk Is., midway between New Zealand and ...ah...what the Hell, everyone reading this knows where that is by now...10:20, April 26, 1943*****
(Cont.)
11B12/J: <turns toward the bunker> OFFICUH..SAY...COME...OUT...NOW...CHOP CHOP!
<A rail-thin Japanese officer emerges from the bunker and squints in the sunlight. After a moment he raises his sword and takes a few doddering steps before he is cut down by a mass volley of gunfire. When the dust settles, all that seems to remain is a pile of clothing.>
Lt.: Again, and this time tell them no weapons.
11B12/J: OFFICUH..SAY...COME...OUT...NOW...CHOP CHOP!
NO STABEY...NO SHOOTEY!
<First one then a second Japanese soldier in tattered shorts and no shirt emerges from the bunker. They are emaciated and covered in sores. They carry no weapons.>
Lt.: HOLD YOUR FIRE!
<They two soldiers stumble forward and appear to grow weaker and more gaunt with each step. Suddenly, the first soldier turns to dust with a popping sound, and the second after a brief look of alarm does the same. The Lt. grabs a rifle and ventures forth. He carefully probes the nearest pile of clothing.>
Lt.: ITS ATTRITION, LADS! <there is an audible gasp from behind him> I NEED A RUNNER TO TELL BATALLION. WE SHALL NEED THE ENGINEERS WITH THEIR FLAMETHROWERS. <He backs up carefully> ALSO, THERE WILL BE NO SOUVENIRS, IS THAT CLEAR? <He need say no more as every soldier is unburdening themselves of loot>
(Cont.)
11B12/J: <turns toward the bunker> OFFICUH..SAY...COME...OUT...NOW...CHOP CHOP!
<A rail-thin Japanese officer emerges from the bunker and squints in the sunlight. After a moment he raises his sword and takes a few doddering steps before he is cut down by a mass volley of gunfire. When the dust settles, all that seems to remain is a pile of clothing.>
Lt.: Again, and this time tell them no weapons.
11B12/J: OFFICUH..SAY...COME...OUT...NOW...CHOP CHOP!
NO STABEY...NO SHOOTEY!
<First one then a second Japanese soldier in tattered shorts and no shirt emerges from the bunker. They are emaciated and covered in sores. They carry no weapons.>
Lt.: HOLD YOUR FIRE!
<They two soldiers stumble forward and appear to grow weaker and more gaunt with each step. Suddenly, the first soldier turns to dust with a popping sound, and the second after a brief look of alarm does the same. The Lt. grabs a rifle and ventures forth. He carefully probes the nearest pile of clothing.>
Lt.: ITS ATTRITION, LADS! <there is an audible gasp from behind him> I NEED A RUNNER TO TELL BATALLION. WE SHALL NEED THE ENGINEERS WITH THEIR FLAMETHROWERS. <He backs up carefully> ALSO, THERE WILL BE NO SOUVENIRS, IS THAT CLEAR? <He need say no more as every soldier is unburdening themselves of loot>
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Cap Mandrake
- Posts: 20737
- Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2002 8:37 am
- Location: Southern California
Kai
*****A tent near a row of parked B-25's, Kai Island Aerodrome, 20:45, April 23, 1943*****
The tent stands out from the others as it is made of a fine, brushed suede with teak poles. A sign out front reads, "M & M Enterprises, Banda Sea Operations". A tall, hirsute man enters without permission.
A tall, hirsute man: Milo, you have to help us. That crazy SOB Cathcart is sending us to Babo to attack Jap carriers.
M. M.: Yossarian, you crazy SOB, you can't just barge in here like that. What if I weren't decent?
A tall, hirsute man: You aren't decent.
M. M.: Yossarian, you crazy SOB, you can't talk to people like that when you want something form them.
A tall, hirsute man: Oh, cut it out Milo. I am not kidding. Do you realize what those Zero pilots are like on those Jap carriers?
M. M.: Did you try reasoning with the man?
A tall, hirsute man: Yes, the crazy SOB had his MP's throw me out of the briefing. He is talking about medals. The other poor dumb bastards in the squadron are lapping it up like kittens.
M. M.: I could get them medals..and with less personal risk too. Poor dumb bastards.
A tall, hirsute man: Exactly, poor dumb bastards. Every one of them.
M. M.: It seems we are surrounded by poor dumb bastards.
A tall, hirsute man: That is exactly what I was thinking. Milo, you have to do something.
M. M.: What is it worth to you?
A tall, hirsute man: Milo, you crazy SOB, I am your running mate for Christ's sake.
M. M.: OK, Yossarian, you crazy, supplicant SOB, for you I'll do it. When do you leave?
A tall, hirsute man: Oh seven hundred. And what is a "supplicant"?
The tent stands out from the others as it is made of a fine, brushed suede with teak poles. A sign out front reads, "M & M Enterprises, Banda Sea Operations". A tall, hirsute man enters without permission.
A tall, hirsute man: Milo, you have to help us. That crazy SOB Cathcart is sending us to Babo to attack Jap carriers.
M. M.: Yossarian, you crazy SOB, you can't just barge in here like that. What if I weren't decent?
A tall, hirsute man: You aren't decent.
M. M.: Yossarian, you crazy SOB, you can't talk to people like that when you want something form them.
A tall, hirsute man: Oh, cut it out Milo. I am not kidding. Do you realize what those Zero pilots are like on those Jap carriers?
M. M.: Did you try reasoning with the man?
A tall, hirsute man: Yes, the crazy SOB had his MP's throw me out of the briefing. He is talking about medals. The other poor dumb bastards in the squadron are lapping it up like kittens.
M. M.: I could get them medals..and with less personal risk too. Poor dumb bastards.
A tall, hirsute man: Exactly, poor dumb bastards. Every one of them.
M. M.: It seems we are surrounded by poor dumb bastards.
A tall, hirsute man: That is exactly what I was thinking. Milo, you have to do something.
M. M.: What is it worth to you?
A tall, hirsute man: Milo, you crazy SOB, I am your running mate for Christ's sake.
M. M.: OK, Yossarian, you crazy, supplicant SOB, for you I'll do it. When do you leave?
A tall, hirsute man: Oh seven hundred. And what is a "supplicant"?
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Cap Mandrake
- Posts: 20737
- Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2002 8:37 am
- Location: Southern California
RE: Kai
*******Kai Aerodrome, 06:15, April 2 4, 1943*******
A tall, hirsute officer stands next to a B-25J with a picture of an ample-bosomed woman near the cockpit. A jeep approaches rapidly, laden with wooden crates. A young, absurdly enthusiastic man in fine linen pants and a Hawaiian shirt leaps onto the tarmac as soon as the jeep stops. He points to one of the crates labeled "Ferrous Chaff/M&M Enterprises, Electronic Countermeasures Division".
Tall, hirsute man: THAT'S IT?! Milo, you crazy SOB, what good is that? Zeroes don't have radar.
M.M.: Yossarian, you concrete-thinking SOB. At long last, do you not trust me?
Tall, hirsute man: Do you really want me to answer?
M.M.: Look Yossarian. <he prys open one crate revealing hundreds of bent nails> Well?
Tall, hirsute man: Milo, did I mention you were brilliant?....
A tall, hirsute officer stands next to a B-25J with a picture of an ample-bosomed woman near the cockpit. A jeep approaches rapidly, laden with wooden crates. A young, absurdly enthusiastic man in fine linen pants and a Hawaiian shirt leaps onto the tarmac as soon as the jeep stops. He points to one of the crates labeled "Ferrous Chaff/M&M Enterprises, Electronic Countermeasures Division".
Tall, hirsute man: THAT'S IT?! Milo, you crazy SOB, what good is that? Zeroes don't have radar.
M.M.: Yossarian, you concrete-thinking SOB. At long last, do you not trust me?
Tall, hirsute man: Do you really want me to answer?
M.M.: Look Yossarian. <he prys open one crate revealing hundreds of bent nails> Well?
Tall, hirsute man: Milo, did I mention you were brilliant?....
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Cap Mandrake
- Posts: 20737
- Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2002 8:37 am
- Location: Southern California
Sitrep
****Sitrep, Operation Inchworm, April 25, 1943****
Babo: VP101 reports no less than 3 Jap carriers near Biak. Oddly, however, there is no enemy recon or attack on Babo. Even more oddly, an extreme outbreak of mechanical difficulties ground all the B-25's at Babo. If these are Jap carriers, the enemy has missed an opportunity as the big fish are back in Darwin.
Namlea: Namlea falls to the KNIL. A skeleton crew of RAAF ground support will be flown in by C-47 to support RAN seaplanes.
Babo: VP101 reports no less than 3 Jap carriers near Biak. Oddly, however, there is no enemy recon or attack on Babo. Even more oddly, an extreme outbreak of mechanical difficulties ground all the B-25's at Babo. If these are Jap carriers, the enemy has missed an opportunity as the big fish are back in Darwin.
Namlea: Namlea falls to the KNIL. A skeleton crew of RAAF ground support will be flown in by C-47 to support RAN seaplanes.
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Cap Mandrake
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- Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2002 8:37 am
- Location: Southern California
RE: Sitrep
*****Sitrep, South Pacific, April 26, 1943*****
Norfolk Is. AND Pago Pago fall to the Allies today. Pago Pago was found to be relatively lightly defended. It appears that the Japs are pulling back to a tighter perimeter. They have not come out to fight for Luganville or Tahiti or Samoa and they are not defending the airfields on New Caledonia.
Norfolk Is. AND Pago Pago fall to the Allies today. Pago Pago was found to be relatively lightly defended. It appears that the Japs are pulling back to a tighter perimeter. They have not come out to fight for Luganville or Tahiti or Samoa and they are not defending the airfields on New Caledonia.
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Cap Mandrake
- Posts: 20737
- Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2002 8:37 am
- Location: Southern California
Ferrous Chaff
Our tires are chock-full of nails
so our bomb stay right on their rails
How odd on this day
to be grounded this way
but it beats spending time in a jail.
******Insulated Quonset Hut, Office of XO, 90th BS(M), Major Major Major, Babo, New Guinea, 17:20, April 25, 1943*******
<A clerk shouts from his desk in the anteroom through a half open door>
Clerk: Sir, it's Cpt. de Coverly. He says the entire squadron is grounded. He says it has to do with that God damned new ferrous chaff dispenser we just installed. It seems there was a premature release and the ferrous chaff fell all over the God damned runway and the God damned ferrous chaff was just God damned bent nails and it ruined the tires on almost every God damned B-25 at the God damned field. He says the Colonel is going to be God damned angry because you know how much he wants to be a God damned General. He wants to know if you ordered the God damned things.
Major Major: Did i?
Clerk: Yes, sir. Sgt. Minderbinder brought the form by.
Major Major: <makes that groaning sound..you know.. like when you realize you really screwed up..that one> Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....Minderbinder....uhhhhhhhhhh...tell him I'm not in.
Clerk: Yes sir <speaks on the phone> Sir, he wants to know when you WILL be in.
Major Major: <opens a window and begins the puts one leg through> Look, when I am here, tell him I am not in. When I am not here he is welcome to call. I'm going out. Tell him to call in a few minutes when I am not here.....
so our bomb stay right on their rails
How odd on this day
to be grounded this way
but it beats spending time in a jail.
******Insulated Quonset Hut, Office of XO, 90th BS(M), Major Major Major, Babo, New Guinea, 17:20, April 25, 1943*******
<A clerk shouts from his desk in the anteroom through a half open door>
Clerk: Sir, it's Cpt. de Coverly. He says the entire squadron is grounded. He says it has to do with that God damned new ferrous chaff dispenser we just installed. It seems there was a premature release and the ferrous chaff fell all over the God damned runway and the God damned ferrous chaff was just God damned bent nails and it ruined the tires on almost every God damned B-25 at the God damned field. He says the Colonel is going to be God damned angry because you know how much he wants to be a God damned General. He wants to know if you ordered the God damned things.
Major Major: Did i?
Clerk: Yes, sir. Sgt. Minderbinder brought the form by.
Major Major: <makes that groaning sound..you know.. like when you realize you really screwed up..that one> Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....Minderbinder....uhhhhhhhhhh...tell him I'm not in.
Clerk: Yes sir <speaks on the phone> Sir, he wants to know when you WILL be in.
Major Major: <opens a window and begins the puts one leg through> Look, when I am here, tell him I am not in. When I am not here he is welcome to call. I'm going out. Tell him to call in a few minutes when I am not here.....
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Cap Mandrake
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- Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2002 8:37 am
- Location: Southern California
Insulated Quonset huts
Editor's Note (Anon.): A number of readers have questioned how the Allies were able to install insulated Quonset Huts in Babo so soon after capturing the place. There have been a number of complaints that a certain contributor "is just making **** up". The Board would like nothing better than to sanction said "certain contributor" but we cannot establish with certainty that the INA or IJN did not purchase insulated Quonset huts on their own. There is indeed some evidence that concern about "Global Cooling" did reach the highest levels of the Japanese hierarchy. Moreover, it is believed by a group within the Board that your average Japanese soldier, owing to their shorter frames, may have been able to use a greater proportion of the space within the Quonset hut. The Board, as always, welcomes reader input, particularly if it leads to the ouster of that "certain contributor". Please direct your written comments to the From Here It Seems Like an Eternity, Editorial Board, 2125 Constitution Ave, Washingto <POOF>
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Cap Mandrake
- Posts: 20737
- Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2002 8:37 am
- Location: Southern California
Investment Opportunity
So about 7 months ago I sort of forgot to pay my gas bill.....twice [:D]
The first time, the Gas Guy came out during the middle of the day and my Mayan houskeeper let him in. He turned off the bloody gas and politely reminded me to change the filter on my water heater. It cost me $35 dollars to get it turned it back on. I had to take cold showers for two days and it had nothing to do with Stalker Girl, either. I tried to sign up with on-line billing but somebody punched the wrong chad on my IBM card and the same thing happened again. [:D] The Gas Guy came out again and my Mayan housekeeper let him in again. He turned off my gas again but this time I think he was pissed as he didn't leave my any polite reminders about my filter. Honestly, I don't know what he was pissed about, at least he had something to do and I was the one who had to take the cold showers again. Anyway, he wasn't the only one who was pissed. The Gas company were REALLY pissed. I had to pay the $35 again and this time, owing to my dead beat status, I had to pay a $500 deposit to be refunded if I behaved myself for one year.
So the other morning I am paying my gas bill (it comes online now [:)]) and I decide to find out about my $500. I call the Gas Lady and she is really nice. She tells me in a slightly patronizing manner...I'm not kidding..she slowed way down and enunciated clearly and used small words...that I can have my $500 back in July IF I make my payments on time. As a gag I ask what am I earning and she says 3% [X(] Holy Hell! Do you realize how good that is? I ask her if I can move my whole 401-K in with them or maybe an IRA Rollover or two.
She pauses....then politely says..."hmmmm, I'll have to ask my supervisor, let me put you on hold Mr. Mandrake"
The first time, the Gas Guy came out during the middle of the day and my Mayan houskeeper let him in. He turned off the bloody gas and politely reminded me to change the filter on my water heater. It cost me $35 dollars to get it turned it back on. I had to take cold showers for two days and it had nothing to do with Stalker Girl, either. I tried to sign up with on-line billing but somebody punched the wrong chad on my IBM card and the same thing happened again. [:D] The Gas Guy came out again and my Mayan housekeeper let him in again. He turned off my gas again but this time I think he was pissed as he didn't leave my any polite reminders about my filter. Honestly, I don't know what he was pissed about, at least he had something to do and I was the one who had to take the cold showers again. Anyway, he wasn't the only one who was pissed. The Gas company were REALLY pissed. I had to pay the $35 again and this time, owing to my dead beat status, I had to pay a $500 deposit to be refunded if I behaved myself for one year.
So the other morning I am paying my gas bill (it comes online now [:)]) and I decide to find out about my $500. I call the Gas Lady and she is really nice. She tells me in a slightly patronizing manner...I'm not kidding..she slowed way down and enunciated clearly and used small words...that I can have my $500 back in July IF I make my payments on time. As a gag I ask what am I earning and she says 3% [X(] Holy Hell! Do you realize how good that is? I ask her if I can move my whole 401-K in with them or maybe an IRA Rollover or two.
She pauses....then politely says..."hmmmm, I'll have to ask my supervisor, let me put you on hold Mr. Mandrake"
RE: Investment Opportunity
Thus is explained the high cost of energy in California: monopoly paid, government mandated, subsidies of - Mandrake's cold showers! [X(]
Intel Monkey: https://sites.google.com/view/staffmonkeys/home
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Cap Mandrake
- Posts: 20737
- Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2002 8:37 am
- Location: Southern California
Bandou
We had 50K troops at Bandou
so we knocked on the door, said "Yoohoo"
the outcome was bad
so Mount-batten was mad
Attack again? Yes, we can do!
****Sitrep, Burma, Siam, April 30, 1943******
Bandou: After an air prep, Malaya Army attacks on the 29th, nearly achieving 1:1 and reducing fortifications to 1. The casualties are about equal but it will take a while to rest, resupply and reorganize. Without a Jap refinforcement, Bandou will fall within 2 weeks. Jap LRCAP of Jacks from Singapore fares poorly against the sweep of P-38's from Tavoy.
Bangkok: There are at least two full combat brigades at Bangkok in addition to the retreated 55th and 56th Inf Div. Jap artillery fire dominates over 12th Army. This will take a while. 10th Air Force heavies are starting to hit the Bangkok defenders. 14th Chindit have mounted an excursion across the river East of Krung Thep. They are suffering heavily from the jungle (and traveler's diarrhea) so they are unlikely to be much of a threat to the Jap lines of communication to Bangkok.
Burma Road (SE of Myitkyina): The 21st Mixed Brigade is gradually being reduced but they are tough bastards.
so we knocked on the door, said "Yoohoo"
the outcome was bad
so Mount-batten was mad
Attack again? Yes, we can do!
****Sitrep, Burma, Siam, April 30, 1943******
Bandou: After an air prep, Malaya Army attacks on the 29th, nearly achieving 1:1 and reducing fortifications to 1. The casualties are about equal but it will take a while to rest, resupply and reorganize. Without a Jap refinforcement, Bandou will fall within 2 weeks. Jap LRCAP of Jacks from Singapore fares poorly against the sweep of P-38's from Tavoy.
Bangkok: There are at least two full combat brigades at Bangkok in addition to the retreated 55th and 56th Inf Div. Jap artillery fire dominates over 12th Army. This will take a while. 10th Air Force heavies are starting to hit the Bangkok defenders. 14th Chindit have mounted an excursion across the river East of Krung Thep. They are suffering heavily from the jungle (and traveler's diarrhea) so they are unlikely to be much of a threat to the Jap lines of communication to Bangkok.
Burma Road (SE of Myitkyina): The 21st Mixed Brigade is gradually being reduced but they are tough bastards.
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Cap Mandrake
- Posts: 20737
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RE: Investment Opportunity
ORIGINAL: witpqs
Thus is explained the high cost of energy in California: monopoly paid, government mandated, subsidies of - Mandrake's cold showers! [X(]
I am a strong advocate of smaller government. It's not my fault a bunch of pinheads on the Public Utility Commission mandated that the Gas Company pay 3% on their dead-beat impound accounts. I have asked them if they permit margin accounts so I can increase my position in the Gas Company "Dead-Beat" Fund.
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Cap Mandrake
- Posts: 20737
- Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2002 8:37 am
- Location: Southern California
Flowing through
******Jungle Clearing 50 m East of Krung Thep, Siam, May 1, 1943****
A young soldier of 14th Chindit Brigade writhes in discomfort on the ground. An officer stands over him.
Bn. Surgeon: I am sorry son, you have diarrhoea.
Soldier: Diarrhoea? I thought I had diarhea.
Bn. Surgeon: Sorry son, it's diarrhoea.
Soldier: <begins to weep> Please...tell my mother...
Bn. Surgeon: Oh, come now. No sense going all wobbly, is there?
Soldier: No sir, sorry.
Bn. Surgeon: There's the lad. Take one of these salt packets. You will be fine....NEXT
A young soldier of 14th Chindit Brigade writhes in discomfort on the ground. An officer stands over him.
Bn. Surgeon: I am sorry son, you have diarrhoea.
Soldier: Diarrhoea? I thought I had diarhea.
Bn. Surgeon: Sorry son, it's diarrhoea.
Soldier: <begins to weep> Please...tell my mother...
Bn. Surgeon: Oh, come now. No sense going all wobbly, is there?
Soldier: No sir, sorry.
Bn. Surgeon: There's the lad. Take one of these salt packets. You will be fine....NEXT
RE: Flowing through
The financial turmoil in California is leading to some questionable business transactions...
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Intel Monkey: https://sites.google.com/view/staffmonkeys/home
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Cap Mandrake
- Posts: 20737
- Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2002 8:37 am
- Location: Southern California
More flowing through
I decided to do something I seldom do...plan ahead. [:)]
I have set myself a goal of seeing if the Philippines can be taken without carriers, partly for entertainment and partly because the Royal Navy carriers won't be ready for prime time for about 2 1/2 to 3 mos. (Corsairs)
I hope to take Morotai, Menado (Sulawese), complete the airfield buildup on Kai to level 5, reduce the air threat at Kendari and take Amboina (and perhaps Sorong) by June 1. As it is May 1 game time that is ambitious without carriers. Most will be under a land-based air umbrella, but not all. If the Jap carriers are commited it will certainly delay or stop my advance but that will free up the options for the US Navy. An attack on Menado and Morotai will almost certainly cause some forces to be moved to the area which will require a pause to suppress Jap airfields before a push toward Mindanao.
Map to follow
I have set myself a goal of seeing if the Philippines can be taken without carriers, partly for entertainment and partly because the Royal Navy carriers won't be ready for prime time for about 2 1/2 to 3 mos. (Corsairs)
I hope to take Morotai, Menado (Sulawese), complete the airfield buildup on Kai to level 5, reduce the air threat at Kendari and take Amboina (and perhaps Sorong) by June 1. As it is May 1 game time that is ambitious without carriers. Most will be under a land-based air umbrella, but not all. If the Jap carriers are commited it will certainly delay or stop my advance but that will free up the options for the US Navy. An attack on Menado and Morotai will almost certainly cause some forces to be moved to the area which will require a pause to suppress Jap airfields before a push toward Mindanao.
Map to follow
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khyberbill
- Posts: 1941
- Joined: Tue Sep 11, 2007 6:29 pm
- Location: new milford, ct
RE: More flowing through
It can be done. I just landed at Weda, Sorong and Morotai and am in the process of building up the airfields there. This followed taking Amboina and Kendari. No carriers in the region. I did take some ship casualties, however, the losses were acceptable considering the gains. Kendari is almost a lvl 5 airport and I will soon concentrate B-24s and B-25s on Balikpapan. Amboina is lvl 4 and as soon as I start getting P38G's I should be able to provide cap for Weda and Morotai (we are in October 42, CHS). It will take longer to build up Morotai and Weda as I suspect my foe is gathering forces to contest those landings. I am not sure if I will head towards Hollandia from here or Davao. I need more infantry before I can do much more.
Fantastic AAR Cap Mandrake!
Fantastic AAR Cap Mandrake!
"Its a dog eat dog world Sammy and I am wearing Milkbone underwear" -Norm.
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Cap Mandrake
- Posts: 20737
- Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2002 8:37 am
- Location: Southern California
RE: The new Sitrep is here! The new Sitrep is here!
Thanks Khyberbill. I'll wat to see hwo it turns out for you [:D]
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FeurerKrieg
- Posts: 3400
- Joined: Wed Jun 15, 2005 8:43 pm
- Location: Denver, CO
RE: The new Sitrep is here! The new Sitrep is here!
1x Yossarian
[:D]
[:D]
