A Vow of Celibacy

witpqs · Post by **witpqs** » Fri Apr 17, 2009 9:18 pm

There once was a boy from Nantucket...

Hmmm, how does that one go again? [;)]

RUPD3658 · Post by **RUPD3658** » Fri Apr 17, 2009 10:13 pm

ORIGINAL: ool

You obviously suffer from that well known malady affecting 99% of husbands, "Balls stored in tupperware container in the freezer."

I wear the pants in my marriage..........my wife just tells me which ones I can wear. [:D]

bradfordkay · Post by **bradfordkay** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 2:44 am

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Gee...sorry about that Rebel. How about we put in more Limericks...for refinement, I mean. [;)]

The thoughts of a rabbit on sex,
are seldom, if ever, complex
For a rabbit in need,
is a rabbit indeed,
And does just what a human expects.

John 3rd · Post by **John 3rd** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 2:57 am

Send THAT to your wife Canoerebel with this smiley thought!  

witpqs · Post by **witpqs** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 3:42 am

From In Harms Way:

There once was a lady from Niger,
who went for a ride on a tiger,
they came back from the ride
with the lady inside,
and a smile on the face of the tiger!

Canoerebel · Post by **Canoerebel** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 3:13 pm

Dear Diary,
 
Days five, six, and seven of my celebacy were good days filled with family activities, some down time, and household chores.  The highlight is a strenuous but enjoyable family hike to the summit of Blood Mountain (including Slaughter Gap and Slaughter Creek; nice names, eh?) and back down.
 
But day eight has been tough!  I'm back in the office, the sky is gray, the day is gloomy, and I'm not in the mood to work.  This would've been the perfect day to devote to some WitP!  When I gave up the game I anticipated many days like this one, so I'm prepared to "weather the storm" at least for awhile; I hope there won't be too many like this, though.
 
Canoerebel

Cap Mandrake · Post by **Cap Mandrake** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 3:45 pm

ORIGINAL: Canoerebel
......
But day eight has been tough! I'm back in the office, the sky is gray, the day is gloomy, and I'm not in the mood to work. This would've been the perfect day to devote to some WitP! When I gave up the game I anticipated many days like this one, so I'm prepared to "weather the storm" at least for awhile; I hope there won't be too many like this, though.

Canoerebel

[X(] Zounds! Please tell us you don't work for the Postal Service. Be strong, amigo.

Canoerebel · Post by **Canoerebel** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 4:46 pm

What, you think just because I "happened" to choose Blood Mountain, Slaughter Creek, and Slaughter Gap for a nice family outing that I'm becoming unhinged and might go postal?
 
 

New York Jets · Post by **New York Jets** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 5:02 pm

ORIGINAL: Canoerebel

...She declines my offer and begins reading. After awhile, her face goes puffy and red, her eyes narrow, and that nail-tipped finger descends on the computer screen. "What's all this stuff about 'Stalker Girl'? Pervert!"

Knowing that I'll be celibate tonight more ways than one, I turn off the computer.

^*#@@##

Canoerebel

This part of the story reminds me of the time, back in the day when I use to manage a Software Etc., when a customer comes in and starts relating a story about the time he was enjoying a nice game of Fallout 2. It seems his wife was an overly religious, sort of up tight, type and took objection to some of the dialogue from that classic game. She walked over to his computer, opened the CD drive, pulled out the CD, and proceeded to break it into multiple pieces.

After he finished relating this tale of woe, which I see as the direct result of poor 'mate-choosing', as it were, I looked at him and with a perfectly straight face, I intoned...

"Sounds to me like you need to trade up for a new wife."

Misconduct · Post by **Misconduct** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 5:47 pm

ORIGINAL: Canoerebel

What, you think just because I "happened" to choose Blood Mountain, Slaughter Creek, and Slaughter Gap for a nice family outing that I'm becoming unhinged and might go postal?

Please stay away from Florida if you do go postal, we have enough wing bats here as it is!

Canoerebel · Post by **Canoerebel** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 5:53 pm

Dear Diary,
 
On the eight day of my celibacy I took up chess.  This being a game of skill and a test of mental acuity, I know that I will quickly prove my aptitude at a game that is - compared to WitP - for simpletons.  After all, WitP is 1,000 times more complicated than chess, so how hard can the game be?
 
I sign up and begin playing online.  My first opponent carries a rating of 1564, which means he sucks.  I draw white and open strong by advancing Queen-Pawn-Three two spaces. 
 
Then I learn that chess is nothing like WitP.  In WitP you make a bad move or a series of bad moves or forget to move for that matter and you still have days and months and years to recover, especially if you're the Alllied player.  Forgot that you set your carrier fighters at 50% training, move your carrier TFs into harm's way, encounter the KB, and lose CVs Hornet and Wasp because nobody's flying CAP?  Big deal!  In two years you'll have 13,489 carriers and can sail right into Tokyo Harbor with CAP set a 10% to bomb the stew out of the Japs.
 
In chess, however, a single bad move kills you.  I momentarily forget that bishops move diagonally and lose a rook.  Game over.
 
*($#)!!h
 
Canoerebel
 
 

John 3rd · Post by **John 3rd** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:34 pm

For some reason there is a certain depressive quality impacting me from your last posting. 

Makes me want to get a turn from Ken or Paul/Steve to exact a form of retribution.  Is there any connection between life events and WitP style-of-play?  This could be BAD..BAD...BAD!

Wonder what Freud might say?

ool · Post by **ool** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:37 pm

Phallic issues about wanting to stick it to someone.

RUPD3658 · Post by **RUPD3658** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 1:46 pm

ORIGINAL: John 3rd

For some reason there is a certain depressive quality impacting me from your last posting.

Makes me want to get a turn from Ken or Paul/Steve to exact a form of retribution. Is there any connection between life events and WitP style-of-play? This could be BAD..BAD...BAD!

Wonder what Freud might say?

If you have a sudden desire to be rough with Betty or Nell you might have a problem. [:-]

Don't worry about your torpedo dud rates though . It happens to a lot of guys our age.[:D]

Canoerebel · Post by **Canoerebel** » Thu Apr 23, 2009 1:00 pm

Dear Diary,
 
On day eleven of my celibacy...sigh.
 
Canoerebel

Cap Mandrake · Post by **Cap Mandrake** » Thu Apr 23, 2009 2:36 pm

ORIGINAL: Canoerebel

Dear Diary,

On day eleven of my celibacy...sigh.

Canoerebel

That's it...."sigh"?

No searing, introspective expose? You should be further along the pathway of self-actualization.

Maybe pick up a Depak Chopra tape or something. We can't help you unless you want to help yourself.

DivePac88 · Post by **DivePac88** » Thu Apr 23, 2009 3:17 pm

I don’t think that our Women have a problem with the game of WitP in itself, but the real concern for them is that we have found an activity that makes us happy. This enjoyment with something other than their fair company puts this game in direct competition to them, and that my friends is why they hate this game with a passion. [;)]

stuman · Post by **stuman** » Thu Apr 23, 2009 6:14 pm

ORIGINAL: DivePac88

I don’t think that our Women have a problem with the game of WitP in itself, but the real concern for them is that we have found an activity that makes us happy. This enjoyment with something other than their fair company puts this game in direct competition to them, and that my friends is why they hate this game with a passion. [;)]

Given the above, I may have a different problem then. My wife seems to be very happy when I have a book or other activity that I am absorbed in and thus bug her less. Hmmm, now that I think about it, the pool boy, mailman, and yard guy all seem happy too.

tocaff · Post by **tocaff** » Thu Apr 23, 2009 6:46 pm

Without WITP I would only get in my wife's way, the maid's way, disrupt the dog's multi naps, bother the gardener spend to much time looking at the girls around here and the list goes on & on.  It's a good thing that I've got 2 PBEMS going right now and AE on the horizon.  Retirement is great, where did I ever find the time for work?

Canoerebel · Post by **Canoerebel** » Thu Apr 23, 2009 9:47 pm

ORIGINAL: tocaff
Without WITP I would only get in my wife's way, the maid's way, disrupt the dog's multi naps, bother the gardener spend to much time looking at the girls around here and the list goes on & on. It's a good thing that I've got 2 PBEMS going right now and AE on the horizon. Retirement is great, where did I ever find the time for work?

You're busted, Todd. I've just figured you out. You're one of those Confederate soldiers who left America after the Civil War to emigrate to Brazil. You're 163 years old, have a 19-year-old Brazilian-babe wife, and stumbled upon the Fountain of Youth on your 87th birthday when a tapir ate a guava off your birthday cake and you chased it into the rainforest.

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