The Frozen Tundra: Gmenfan vs TimeTanker

[TimeTanker]

That conjures up some pretty wild images in my mind about Android HT's that can repair themselves. But, I promise I won't go there.

Once again the Vaunted Bazooka proves it's worth. No it didn't get a Kat. But, one of it's ancestors.

P-51 saw a strum tiger lurking in the woods, and the first round of the Sturm 1V vs 105 stare down goes to the Sturm. The 105 is reeling on the ropes but still has it's main gun. An M4 short barrell tried to come to its aid, but got blowed up for it's trouble.

Lot's of tracks making strange crop circles in the fields outside of town. This has got to be of concern to the German Commander. The tracks seem to be running in pairs and extremely loud Polka music is coming from a Command Car at the edge of the road. One of the officers swears the guy in the Command Car was directing the tracks over a bullhorn in what looked like a German version of a Square Dance.

I had heard the Germans were researching Occult Rituals to find a Supernatural Secret Weapon. Perhaps this is the Teutonic version of marching 7 times around the walls of Jericho.

[Supervisor]

They all just saw previews more the movie SIGNS and the German govt is going to pay top dollar to the poor sap that figures out how they were done. Little does he now this is going to require some sort of probing!!!!:eek: And the song coming from the Command Car is Dirting Dancing with some of the local farm girls.

[TimeTanker]

The guy in the command car does look a bit like Mel Gibson!

I thought the image of Dirty Dancing to a Polka Beat, was hard to imagine. But, my troops proved me wrong. The moment the word got out that that was what the Germans were doing. It became an instant dance craze. .....Er....maybe they are just going "Nuts"!

I've heard of scientific studies that Certain types of music can do that to you, like Polka, or really high pitched falsetto Country and Western played at Operatic Decibel Levels.

I would have stopped the men. But, some how someone came up with about 20 kegs of some great German Brew and they seemed to be having fun for the first time since we got to this hole in the wall.

Hey, maybe you german guys got something going with this Polka thing that you ain't tellin people about. .....Maybe the Polka is the Supernatural Secret Occult Ritual!?

Polka Addiction!!!!:eek:

[Supervisor]

A recap of todays events. The Mayor found out his daughter was Dirty Dancing with us in the fields, so he took our record player away. I got that defecting rengade HT recon unit headed to the Soviet Union, they didn't have proper paperwork, so they were shot on sight. The bananna in the tailpipe trick worked againg on that M105, a Panther was able to sneak up real good, also that 60mm Bottle Rocket launcher next to it had an unortunate accident, one blew up in the tube. The last thing heard from that crew was Cpt. Miller telling Pvt. Ryan"The Field Manual is wrong, when one gets stuck in the tube drop in another and they will both be launched it's in the same chapter as How to Make a Sticky Bomb". You had a M75 gun malfunction but you still turned my Mobelwagon into a Meatwagon. I disposed of one of your Hussies at ambush junction. Intercepted a local radio message from Bastonge, tomorrows weather sunny highs in the 30's, the movie at the picture house will be a bootlegged copy of The Wizard of Oz, the local pub is looking for donations as some rowdy US Army guys got in a brawl and broke the pool table. One of your P-51 pilots mooned me. Oh yeah one last thing, someone left the back gate open to the city and I found your HQ unit, they will become my prisoners in the next turn or they will die.

[TimeTanker]

No one was supposed to know about that Pool Table!

Other than the fact that there is no possible way you could have even come close to the HQ Unit (they are all on leave in London....who says we can't get out ot Bastogne!?) The back gate is a problem I have been having with my Adjutant. He thinks the rope on his shoulder makes him look like the Hall Monitor that he never got to be in his home town. And, I can see why they never made him Hall Monitor. He keeps leaving doors open all over the place.

I'll share a secret with you. That really was what the manual said. But, training division told me that they would make sure that allllll the Mortar Crews were up to snuff on correct procedure. (Kinda makes ya wonder how we made it this far.)

Stopped another track with Super Bazooka! In the southern part of the map where your Dance Ensemble is. About the only thing keeping us alive are those metal tubes with the wierd name.

If I promise to talk the mayor into giving you back your record player...will you teach me how to do that Dirty Polka Dance? You looked so Cooool standing on that Command Car Stomping and Thrusting and ....and...what ever the Heck the REST of that was.

Part of me wanted to get one of my snipers to shoot you. Because, at first you looked really funny. But, then that beat and the way your tracks were moving to the music mixed in with all the shelling and ahem the Christmas Decorations. Just made it one of those Kodak Memories!

That's it! It reminded me of the way those Big White Horses the Uh Lippy schlitz horses .....or what ever, move when they perform. See we American's got Culture!

[Supervisor]

As for the weird name it can't be all bad they named a gum after, it that has little comic strips attached. As for finding you HQ unit you might be right, my fellas might of had a few to many at the Bastonge club last night, because during talent night competiton last night they are telling me now that the stand up act contained Patton, Bradley, MacArthur, Ike and some guy name Degual. No I'm not cheating(unless you want to consider that little specially designed program I've created that allows me view the enitre battlefield placement for both sides cheating) just trying to have fun and see if you would waste your time looking for a spy. After we are done with this saga I think we owe it to ourselves and readers to have a rematch of sorts, what do you think.

[Supervisor]

Nothing that exciting, a few small scuffles throughout, I got another Sherman a Ambush point(you got a Stug) now I have to drive off the foot soldiers, now I know why nobody is searching the woods anymore, because they were all camping at ambush point.

[TimeTanker]

Yeah, you should have seen Ike's impression of Al Jolson! Everyone was laughing. Except for some reason DeGaulle. I guess that guy just never smiles.

I agree I think we need to do the rematch after this. It would be a natural progression. Maybe somewhere a little warmer though would be nice.

You know knowing what these guys on both sides of the conflict in WWII went through. If it were up to me to design the next conflict. I think I would set it up where no matter where you were fighting there would always be a platoon made up of a new branch of special services. So that when you got thirsty for a "Bud" or something like that. Instead of screaming "Medic", you screamed "Beer Guy" or something like that.

And, of course then if you had been especially thirsty all day and the Beer Guy was really making the rounds to your foxhole. I would add a section to the Geneva Convention that would allow you to either fire a **** Yellow flare or stick a yellow flag up, so that you could make a sprint to the latrine with out getting your stein holding hand shot off.

I guess that is why I'm not in charge.....:p

Won't be able to get to the turn till this evening.

[TimeTanker]

Managed to sneak up on and use the old Banana in the Tailpipe trick on a Tiger that was trying to hide behind a Panther that had already been skinned.

What a surprise! It was a lowly M4 Dozer that administered the Coup de Grace. Of course it had absorbed a number of 75mm rounds and I think about 2 or 3 M9 Bazooka rounds first. So it was a somewhat softened target to begin with. It was suppressed enough that the crew just said "Ah the heck with it!" and didn't bother to turn their turret to fight back.

Also got a Sturm and a Truck in the Ambush intersection.

Then it started raining rockets. Man I have never seen my troops move that fast. I asked one of them on his way past me what he thought he was doing and he said, "Dodging rocket's Sir!"

Back to you. (do you like to play historical scenarios? Large maps, small maps, Company sized or Division sized conflict)

[Supervisor]

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo so it isn't so, my own trick backfiring literally on me!:mad:

[Supervisor]

Lets see, got a Sherman trying to set up another ambush, got a few Arm Inf squads, MG squads, a HT a scattered crew members. I think my rockets are scaring some of the troops back into the city. It would be nice if some of my Imob armor could make there way back into this war, as I feel my assets are being dwindled too much before I can even mount a decent attack in the city:eek:

[TimeTanker]

Game ended after my turn.

It was a Draw!

Us 13,357 points

Germany 9500 something.

I guess on points and number of units lost I guess the game decides that is a draw. But, take a look at the set up and tell me if you could have worked your way through that to get to the lone VH.

Oh well.....my password was "mapman".

[TimeTanker]

Was that 50 turns? I didn't check but I didn't think we were that close to the end.

[Supervisor]

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, what can happen is if 2/3 of forces are lost game it can end early, I guess we beat each other up too much to early. I guess we'll have to get M4 Jess to build us another one, and we'll turn off vehicle breakdowns..

[TimeTanker]

I wonder if Jess has ever considered taking the historical battle of Waterloo and converting that to Modern Times. (WWII)

Take the French countryside where the battle was fought and divide up the forces between the British & German forces against say Napoleans Great Great Great Grandson that has had Megalomaniacal visions of returning France to the Glory it once was.

Perhaps you could throw in a real ringer with that and say that at the end of WWII the French Communist Factions took over and formed an Alliance with the Soviets to play the Hammer and Anvil against the remainder of Western Germany.

British forces being the majority of forces remaining in the coastal areas of Northern France hastily rearm what is left of the Panzer Corps and rush to meet the combined forces of the French Madman Maximillian "Napolean" Bonaparte and his Soviet Advisors.

It would be a little different than the true British German alliance vs. Napoleans resurrected Army. But, considering the game and the way it is set up. Taking the French army against a British German alliance in say 1948 or 49 would not be a very fun match.

Now if we could just throw in some Abrams and TOW Bradleys.....ah but I forget what time zone I am in again....

[M4Jess]

WOW! my own playtest lasted around 40 turns!

kind of a let down really...

sorry guys..I guess I will have to create another for ya!;)

"I wonder if Jess has ever considered taking the historical battle of Waterloo and converting that to Modern Times. (WWII)"

Im working on Gettysburg right now! heehee

M4 Jess~Trouble Maker

[TimeTanker]

Can I playtest that one when you get it done?

I remember playing the scenario someone put together for SP3 that was "Custers Last Stand" or Battle of the Bighorn. It was done with Modern Battles equipment. Cobra Gunships, Abrams, Bradley's, etc.

It was a great concept.

[M4Jess]

I did Gettysburg for SP3 posted on "The Wargamer" site...

that was a mega scenario fir sure!

you got it TimeTanker on the playtest! and thanks!

M4 Jess~

[VikingNo2]

I have SPIII but it runs to fast on my machine is there a patch or something? The same with SP II ?

Someone please pull me out of my ignorance:rolleyes:

[Supervisor]

Yeah there is this program that slows down older applications on newer high end systems, I'm pretty sure you can similar programs that may be free as this one costs. MoSlo