From here to...well...it SEEMS like an eternity

[Reg]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

... Aussie Master Sargeant ....

Australian army ranks WWII

Listed in order... Comparative table of ranks

[Cap Mandrake]

*******San Francisco City Jail, July 2, 1943*******

Aussie Pvt.: Master Sargeant, do you think we will get out of here soon?

Aussie Master Sargeant: Yes, Phillips, I am sure of it. I got a call in to the Australian Legation. Honestly, I can't blame the Yanks. The whole thing is incredibile.

Aussie Pvt.: That is good to hear, Master Sargeant. I am looking forward to a pint...say..Master Sargeant...this is a little uncomfortable, but...a number of us were wondering why you call yourself Master Sargeant...with there being no such rank and all in the Royal Australian Army.

Aussie Master Sargeant: Ah, yes. You aren't the first to ask. It's box 22A on my IBM card. Did you know I did a stint as CO of the destroyer USS Maury?

Aussie Pvt.: US Navy? I didn't know Master Sargant was a rank in the US Navy.

Aussie Master Sargeant: Oh, it isn't, but apparently I have a high naval rating.

Aussie Pvt.: Are you an experienced sailor then, Master Sargeant.

Aussie Master Sargeant: Not at all. Look at this <he holds out the back of his hands. On is a small "S" and the other a small "P".>

Aussie Pvt.: Your mum?

Aussie Master Sargeant: No, starboard and port.

Aussie Pvt.: However did you pull that off, Master Sargeant?

Aussie Master Sargeant: I am still not quite sure. I have a suspicion they couldn't understand a word I said. Lots of delegation. I think someone finally complained and one day, at Suva, they sent a new skipper, Warrant Officer Honda or some such thing. I am not sure that was any help on the language barrier. Anyway, I tried to have my IBM card changed..even flew down to Canberra. They said I needed a "release letter" from the current CO of Maury. I sent him a long letter, explaining everything. He sent me a Happy Birthday card for the Emperor. Honestly, I have just given up. It's not so bad really. My Mum in Derby gets a nice green check from the States every month and it is 4 times what I would get from Canberra. I have been with the 7th since the rebuild after Port Moresby.....

[rtrapasso]

I am still not quite sure. I have a suspicion they couldn't understand a word I said. Lots of delegation. I think someone finally complained and one day, at Suva, they sent a new skipper, Warrant Officer Honda or some such thing. I am not sure that was any help on the language barrier. Anyway, I tried to have my IBM card changed..even flew down to Canberra. They said I needed a "release letter" from the current CO of Maury. I sent him a long letter, explaining everything. He sent me a Happy Birthday card for the Emperor.

[Cap Mandrake]

4 CV's and a CVL (in four TF's) show up off Rabaul and pound the **** out of the airfield. A minelaying force in the area is nearly obliterated. It is mid 1943 and the US carrier strikes are superbly well coordinated. The first strike on the minelayers has at least 100 planes and the Rabaul raid has 230+.

Torokina is ungarisoned. Despite this, 25th ID suffers 118 cases of crotch rot, 72 blisters, 18 lost eyeglasses and 2 Portuguese Man-o-war stings. One poor soldier experiences both crotch rot and a Portuguese Man-o-war sting. Well...truth be told.. it is partly his fault. The imprudent young man lost the St. Christopher medal his Great Aunt Livonia gave him in a craps game. I mean..come on..the guy is just asking for trouble.

[HMS Resolution]

Holy crap! Just when I was wondering what all of those expensive carriers were doing, too.

[Cap Mandrake]

******Dock 3A, Darwin, July 5, 1943*****

Maj. Quimbo: <The men of 2/82 Philippine Army are gathered on the busy dock> OK, men. I have a new plan to get us to Amboina and join our division in order to free our homeland! I want 2 or 3 of you to take these signs and stand near the boarding ramps of these ships. Let's do the skinny ones. You, Cocasquejo, take this sign and try to look hungry. The heavier ones, I want over there behind the crates. If we get an offer then we all come running. <He begins to hand out the signs which read "Will work for passage">

[Cap Mandrake]

..

[Cap Mandrake]

******Western Union HQ, Office of the President, 60 Hudson St., Manhattan, 08:15, July 4, 1943******

Prez:..so let me get this straight. This guy, Mr. Mine...

Bean Counter Dude: Minderbinder, Milo Minderbinder.

Prez: Right, Mr. Minderbinder wants a 40 year lease on the period?

Bean Counter Dude: Precisely, sir.

Prez: Do you mean the punctuation mark at the end of sentences?

Bean Counter Dude: Yes, sir. Sentences, abbreviations, place holders, the whole shooting match. He wants all revenue from such use.

Prez: Does he know that our customers have substituted the word "stop" for the punctuation mark for a couple of decades?

Bean Counter Dude: I am not sure of his due dilligence on that matter.

Prez: Due what?

Bean Counter Dude: Dilligence, sir. You know, did he check it out.

Prez: Well, I suppose that is his problem, isn't it? <chuckles a bit> Right, so what is a mark-up on the period?

Bean Counter Dude: 10 cents for the period, sir. 1 cent per letter, so they save 6 cents by using "stop".

Prez: Hmm..given that hwo much have we earned on the period..net, I mean, less deprection.

Bean Counter Dude: Yes sir, I did some research. $251.16 since 1933.

Prez: 251? And this fellow wants to pay us $1000? Why he would need....hmmmmm..

Bean Counter Dude: About 40 years to break even. Yes sir.

Prez: Is he quite well? Mentally, I mean.

Bean Counter Dude: Not sure, sir. We have been dealing with his law firm, Dewey, Cheatham and Howe. It seems Mr. Minderbinder is serving in the Pacific.

Prez: Are you shi**** me?

Bean Counter Dude: No sir. United States Army Air Force.

Prez: Unites States Army Air Force? How much are we paying those guys? Where did he lay his hands on $1000?

Bean Counter Dude: Not sure sir.

Prez: Well, 5 will get you 10 it is ill-gotten. I say we take the young man up on his offer and teach him a lesson. We can use the money to rent the Yacht Club for the Christmas party and have it nicely catered. I want those little crab balls. Write that down.

Bean Counter Dude: Yes sir. Little crab balls.

Prez: Say, this Minderbinder fellow, you don't think he is...well..you know?

[Cap Mandrake]

********Office of the CNO, US Navy, the Pentagon, Washington, 13:20, July 4, 1943*****

Admiral King: <looking through communiques..growing exasperated..finally he calls out to his aide through an open door> GOD DAMNIT COMMANDER! GET IN HERE! I HAVE JUST HAD IT WITH THIS MORONIC USE OF THE WORD STOP AT THE END OF SENTENCES. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE GOD DAMNED PERIOD, ANYWAY?

Aide: Yes sir! <enters room> I believe there is a small cost advantage in the use of "Stop".

Admiral King: And what of the lost productivity? It is moronic. I want an Navy-wide order drafted right away. Forthwith, the United States Navy will stop using stop.

[Panther Bait]

Hey, do periods include the dot above lower-case "i"s and "j"s?
&nbsp;
Could be a gold m1ne&nbsp; [:)]

[Cap Mandrake]

Ah...that is a relief. The Southern approaches to Australia are now properly girded. I havn't posted for a while. The whole MJ thing just has me torn up.


*********Devonport Harbour, Tasmania, July 7, 1943*********

A large ribbon cuts across the base of a new, 400 ft dock jutting into the harbour. A small crowd of residents and dignitaries gather near the ribbon.

His Honor the Mayor of Devonport, Mr. James Devon: ...in closing, I would like to thank Mr. Robert Devon for his brilliant architectural design work, Devon and Sons Paving Company, Devon Brother's Dredging, the legal services of Devon and Devon, Chief Constable, Mr. Arthur Devon, Devon Family Catering <there is a small round of applause after each name is mentioned> and...lastly,
let us give a special round of applause to Dame Edna Devon whose tireless work in Parliament netted the funds to go forward with this project. <wild appaluse> This fine port will act as a bulwark and place of respite for all Allied Navies when, on that certain day, the Yellow Peril attacks in Southern Austrailia or Tasmania. <a slight gasp is heard in the audience> In recognition of this day, and because the Royal Australian Navy could spare no vessels at this time, we will now have a fly-by by the Royal Australian Air Force <applause...all eyes turn to the Northeast as, in the distance a single Sunderland groans toward the crowd, one engine missing badly>

[Cap Mandrake]

*********Devonport Harbour, Tasmania, July 7, 1943*********



An aged couple look skyward as the awesome display of military prowess passes overhead.

Sgt. P. Devon, RAAF (ret): That would be the Short Sunderland, dear.

Mrs. P. Devon (not ret): Why on earth do they call it "short"? It seems to go on forever.

[Alikchi2]

I was having dinner, remembered "Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe" and had a wheezing fit.

[rtrapasso]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I havn't posted for a while. The whole MJ thing just has me torn up.

MJ thing? is that like in Marriage?? [&:] [X(]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I havn't posted for a while. The whole MJ thing just has me torn up.

MJ thing? is that like in Marriage?? [&:] [X(]

Hello. Do you even have a radio or something? [;)] I was talking about the tragic and untimely loss of the King of Pop. I stayed home from work for 4 days. I had CNN on one TV and TMZ on the other.

[Cap Mandrake]

No...not really. I have been getting ready for my own Viking funeral pyre. I am having a big reception in the back yard on the 25th. It is up to 120 people and growing. I send out an invite and the respondee replies they are bringing 6[X(] I am going to need some more tables. I invited all the neighbors so they dont report me to the Sheriff. I will make a Costco run Friday for an epic booze purchase.


Our opponent is off wrestling orcas or something right now.

[rtrapasso]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

No...not really. I have been getting ready for my own Viking funeral pyre. I am having a big reception in the back yard on the 25th. It is up to 120 people and growing. I send out an invite and the respondee replies they are bringing 6[X(] I am going to need some more tables. I invited all the neighbors so they dont report me to the Sheriff. I will make a Costco run Friday for an epic booze purchase.


Our opponent is off wrestling orcas or something right now.

So, are all the readers of your AAR invited... probably you just don't have all our personal addresses to send the engraved invitations to, right? [:'(]

[BrucePowers]

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

No...not really. I have been getting ready for my own Viking funeral pyre. I am having a big reception in the back yard on the 25th. It is up to 120 people and growing. I send out an invite and the respondee replies they are bringing 6[X(] I am going to need some more tables. I invited all the neighbors so they dont report me to the Sheriff. I will make a Costco run Friday for an epic booze purchase.


Our opponent is off wrestling orcas or something right now.

So, are all the readers of your AAR invited... probably you just don't have all our personal addresses to send the engraved invitations to, right? [:'(]

I feel left out[:D][:D][:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

No...not really. I have been getting ready for my own Viking funeral pyre. I am having a big reception in the back yard on the 25th. It is up to 120 people and growing. I send out an invite and the respondee replies they are bringing 6[X(] I am going to need some more tables. I invited all the neighbors so they dont report me to the Sheriff. I will make a Costco run Friday for an epic booze purchase.


Our opponent is off wrestling orcas or something right now.

So, are all the readers of your AAR invited... probably you just don't have all our personal addresses to send the engraved invitations to, right? [:'(]

I feel left out[:D][:D][:D]

Well...OK, if you can get past the gate security...just dont expect me to get dates for you guys. [:'(]

I would suggest you print out your avatar and stick it on your shirt pocket.

[rtrapasso]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso



So, are all the readers of your AAR invited... probably you just don't have all our personal addresses to send the engraved invitations to, right? [:'(]

I feel left out[:D][:D][:D]

Well...OK, if you can get past the gate security...just dont expect me to get dates for you guys. [:'(]

I would suggest you print out your avatar and stick it on your shirt pocket.

Wot? No junior stalker-girls?? [;)] [:'(]