Snipe hunt?

[jb123]

I think WCDR L.G.W. Lilly has bee running around for the past month asking supply sergeants for the PRC E-7. Every ops report says he has been reassigned. Some desk jockey must hate him.

[rockmedic109]

Actually he has a medical condition that causes massive, caustic and noxious flatulence.  As soon as he arrives somewhere his new boss quickly reassigns him before morale gets too low and personel start going AWOL or on sick leave.

[fflaguna]

I think the box of grid squares he ordered has just come in. Let me check with S-4.

[usersatch]

Perhaps he's searching for the keys to the drop zone.

[Bullwinkle58]

ORIGINAL: usersatch

Perhaps he's searching for the keys to the drop zone.

Ball of shore line.
Left-handed monkey wrench.
Fish for the shaft seals.
A BT punch. (Ouch!)
Right-handed sky hook.

(It's fun to play with the non-quals.[:)])

[RevRick]

ORIGINAL: rockmedic109

Actually he has a medical condition that causes massive, caustic and noxious flatulence.  As soon as he arrives somewhere his new boss quickly reassigns him before morale gets too low and personel start going AWOL or on sick leave.

Reminds me of the time we greeted the inspectors for our ORI with an operations department (manning Combat, the Bridge, and Radio Central) who had all spent the prior evening ashore drinking dark Schlitz, eating pickled eggs, brats, and kraut. They wanted to know where the OBAs were after the first hour.

[Whisper]

ORIGINAL: RevRick

ORIGINAL: rockmedic109

Actually he has a medical condition that causes massive, caustic and noxious flatulence.  As soon as he arrives somewhere his new boss quickly reassigns him before morale gets too low and personel start going AWOL or on sick leave.

Reminds me of the time we greeted the inspectors for our ORI with an operations department (manning Combat, the Bridge, and Radio Central) who had all spent the prior evening ashore drinking dark Schlitz, eating pickled eggs, brats, and kraut. They wanted to know where the OBAs were after the first hour.

A long tima ago our unit got this newly who drank Schlitz. We all used to sing 'When you'r out of Schlitz, Go buy real beer'.

[bradfordkay]

"A long tima ago our unit got this newly who drank Schlitz. We all used to sing 'When you'r out of Schlitz, Go buy real beer'."

I used to think that ad slogan was one of the worst: When you're out of Schlitz, you're out of beer.   Well.... duh! It's your last resort after finishing off all the other beer in the house!

[Anonymous]

ORIGINAL: bradfordkay

"A long tima ago our unit got this newly who drank Schlitz. We all used to sing 'When you'r out of Schlitz, Go buy real beer'."

I used to think that ad slogan was one of the worst: When you're out of Schlitz, you're out of beer.   Well.... duh! It's your last resort after finishing off all the other beer in the house!

When I was going to school in Boston there was this beer Schaefers and the song was
Schaefers is the one beer to have
When you are having more than one
it was really bad but if you had more than one it got better and it was good college cheap.

[Blackhorse]

Army Tankers sent newbies to get squelch oil, or a key to the travel lock.

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Bullwinkle58

ORIGINAL: usersatch

Perhaps he's searching for the keys to the drop zone.

Ball of shore line.
Left-handed monkey wrench.
Fish for the shaft seals.
A BT punch. (Ouch!)
Right-handed sky hook.

(It's fun to play with the non-quals.[:)])

Heh...these are good ones. Having been in the Boy Scouts, I'm only familiar with a left handed smoke shifter-but it sounds like they're all in the same vein.

[Bullwinkle58]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

ORIGINAL: Bullwinkle58

ORIGINAL: usersatch

Perhaps he's searching for the keys to the drop zone.

Ball of shore line.
Left-handed monkey wrench.
Fish for the shaft seals.
A BT punch. (Ouch!)
Right-handed sky hook.

(It's fun to play with the non-quals.[:)])

Heh...these are good ones. Having been in the Boy Scouts, I'm only familiar with a left handed smoke shifter-but it sounds like they're all in the same vein.

There are probably hundreds in any military org., passed down from sea daddy to nugget.

Remembered one more--a #9 pipe-stretcher.

[carnifex]

Every turn in my game M. Livingstone is reassigned. He's in the 700 Sqn FAA S-1.

[sprior]

A bucket of steam
Feed the Seacat
Pellets for the Seaslug
A long weight

[rockmedic109]

A very naive and gullible {not to mention stupid} ride-a-long on an ambulance got sent into the Emergency Room looking for Falopian Tubes.

[RevRick]

Does one dare ask where he was sent to search for these particular devices????

[RevRick]

My favorite was the chief cook who sent one of the new guys on mess cooking duty to the bosun for 100 yards of chow line. I don't know how he wound up in the forward fire room, but he was gone a long, long, time.

Of course, I had the happy time of answering a newly hatched JOOD who was riding us about one of our tranceivers (new model without all the bugs removed) when he was on the bridge for his first watch as JOOD underway. After the fourth or fifth trip up to the sig bridge (both of these abortions were in a compartment up there) to try to hand tune the beast, he jumped me as I was heading to the ladder down to Radio Central. The Captain was in his chair on the bridge because of the relatively foul weather (I was wet as a used dishtowel.) After he tried to chew me out to impress the Old Man, (He had a lot to learn!) and asked me why we couldn't get the gear working right, I told him that we hadn't got our supply of squelch oil in, and the wind was blowing the transmitter off frequency. When he said, "Okay, well get if fixed as fast as you can!", I thought the Old Man was about to pee in his pants.

The Captain later came down to Central for a cup of coffee and told me he had spoken with the young JG, and told him to trust the people on the ship to do their job. Then he said that I really shouldn't lie to young officers, that was a chief's job. A chief wouldn't get in as much trouble when the victim found out.

EDIT: Excuse me, I should have introduced this properly, as in "Now, this ain't no s&^t!"

[Bullwinkle58]

ORIGINAL: RevRick

My favorite was the chief cook who sent one of the new guys on mess cooking duty to the bosun for 100 yards of chow line. I don't know how he wound up in the forward fire room, but he was gone a long, long, time.

Of course, I had the happy time of answering a newly hatched JOOD who was riding us about one of our tranceivers (new model without all the bugs removed) when he was on the bridge for his first watch as JOOD underway. After the fourth or fifth trip up to the sig bridge (both of these abortions were in a compartment up there) to try to hand tune the beast, he jumped me as I was heading to the ladder down to Radio Central. The Captain was in his chair on the bridge because of the relatively foul weather (I was wet as a used dishtowel.) After he tried to chew me out to impress the Old Man, (He had a lot to learn!) and asked me why we couldn't get the gear working right, I told him that we hadn't got our supply of squelch oil in, and the wind was blowing the transmitter off frequency. When he said, "Okay, well get if fixed as fast as you can!", I thought the Old Man was about to pee in his pants.

The Captain later came down to Central for a cup of coffee and told me he had spoken with the young JG, and told him to trust the people on the ship to do their job. Then he said that I really shouldn't lie to young officers, that was a chief's job. A chief wouldn't get in as much trouble when the victim found out.

EDIT: Excuse me, I should have introduced this properly, as in "Now, this ain't no s&^t!"

Well, as long as we're "properly" telling Sea Stories, this one was related by my father, who was a PO1 serving on this DE in early-50s San Fran. Seems that a certain PO1, treasurer of the ship's Welfare & Rec Fund, decided to mess with a young "smartass" SA. Telling the youngster that the Old Man had approved the W&R Fund painting the crew's mess in polka dots, he sent the nugget out to town to "find me ten gallons of polka dot paint."

The whole day passed without the young man's return. Just before evening colors, a delivery truck pulled up on the pier, and the SA jumped out and began helping the driver to unload ten one-gallon paint cans. Seems the resourceful messenger had, through word-of-mouth, found a leading-edge chemical R&D lab which had developed a 2-oil paint with large viscosity deltas whereby, when applied, one oil drew together on top of the other base layer oil, to form, (wait for it) polka dots. At the fantastic, experimental price of $60/gallon, the load came to $600 COD. The W&R Fund contained $700.

The driver drove away, the paint remained on the pier for the night, the PO1 went to explain to the XO why there wouldn't be any Christmas party for dependents that year, and the young, now "smart" SA, went to the mess decks to tell the tale of the Great PINK Polka Dot Paint Caper.

And that's no s&*t.

[mutterfudder]

Bucket of prop wash.[:'(]

[morganbj]

ORIGINAL: Blackhorse

Army Tankers sent newbies to get squelch oil, or a key to the travel lock.

And don't forget brake pads for the road wheels.