Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

ORIGINAL: sprior

Looks like Rangoon will tomorrow. Fortunately the NAAFI canman got all the decent tinnies and good nutty out. All we left for the japs was the crappy Inde Coope IPA and some sherbert dips. Ha ha!

Nutty?

I was thinking that a sherbert dip sounded like a very refreshing summer treat to share with the kids. Make mine pistachio! I'd like a tinnie of it with some good nutty bits on top, please.

[sprior]

Here’s some Navy terminology for you. They seem to have their own language – it’s called Jack Speak,

Matelot - Royal Navy person
Scran - Food (breakfast/lunch and dinner)
Doby - Wash/shower
Cheesy hammy eggy - A strange but delightful meal!
Runs ashore – Going out
Heads - Toilets/bathrooms
Oppo’s - Mates
Gaddafi - NAAFI Canteen
Nutty - Chocolate/sweets
Goffa - Fizzy drinks/water
Dit - Story/information.

[sprior]

Another variant of "tinny"/"tinnie" is as a slang term for a can of beer, commonly used in Australia, New Zealand and some parts of the UK

[sprior]

Sherbert dips. bleh.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Sherbert dips. bleh.

[X(] I don't think "bleh" quite does it.

Pass me the Bully Beef please. <shudder>

[sprior]

Yummy, have that in me sarnies for scran.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Yummy, have that in me sarnies for scran.

What is the yellow crap though? [X(] Is that gelatin or beef fat?? <shudders again>

If i saw that on a culture plate I would demand a positive pressure hazmat suit and then steam clean myself afterward.

[sprior]

beef fat. duh.

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: sprior

Yummy, have that in me sarnies for scran.

What is the yellow crap though? [X(] Is that gelatin or beef fat?? <shudders again>

If i saw that on a culture plate I would demand a positive pressure hazmat suit and then steam clean myself afterward.

Cap'n: Don't taunt the Bully Beef. You'll just make it mad.

[BrucePowers]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: sprior

Sherbert dips. bleh.

[X(] I don't think "bleh" quite does it.

Pass me the Bully Beef please. <shudder>

[BrucePowers]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: sprior

Yummy, have that in me sarnies for scran.

What is the yellow crap though? [X(] Is that gelatin or beef fat?? <shudders again>

If i saw that on a culture plate I would demand a positive pressure hazmat suit and then steam clean myself afterward.

Can you put yourself in an autoclave?[:D]

[sprior]

The Great Debate begins about what to do at Ambon. Do we reinforce and, if so, with how much? Who are all those people at Koepang? Why me?

[Cap Mandrake]

********KNIL HQ, Koepang, Jan. 16, 1942**********


Lt. Col. Black, CO of the USSAF ground support unit previously based in Manila, found himself in a role to which he was unaccustomed. Oh sure, privately he might admit he was pleased his unit had been secreted out of the Hell that Manila has become, after all there were no planes to service, but still......

<He approaches a young KNIL officer>

"Hi, do you guys have any food?"

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: sprior

Yummy, have that in me sarnies for scran.

What is the yellow crap though? [X(] Is that gelatin or beef fat?? <shudders again>

If i saw that on a culture plate I would demand a positive pressure hazmat suit and then steam clean myself afterward.

Can you put yourself in an autoclave?[:D]

I tried that once...couldn't reach the "on" button.

[Cap Mandrake]

Lord Admiral Sprior
His High Holiness
CinC, ABDA, India, China, Diego Garcia, Addu Atoll and the Maldives


My Dearest Spri;


Your suggestion to reinforce Ambon I find a good one. It has a fine airfield and a contracted avenue of approach allowing for good use of submarines. Additionally, the proximity to Darwin allows surface forces to sortie from relative safety. I have therefore begun to evacuate the men of the USAAF support group at Cagayan by air to Ambon. This could be augmented by the USAAF and RAF evacuees from Borneo and Luzon if desired.

Warmly;




Admiral of the Fleet Mandrake
CinC Pacific
Future Inventor of the Internet
Immediate Past President Aru Island Homeowners Association
Memeber Toastmasters International


PS. I don't suppose you fellows have any spares of those wonderful, high energy, Bully Beef tins at Koepang, do you?

[sprior]

PS. I don't suppose you fellows have any spares of those wonderful, high energy, Bully Beef tins at Koepang, do you?

Millions of them are on their way from the Nile Delta where they have been slowly warming up.

[Cap Mandrake]

***********January 16, 1942***********


The Jap carriers that mangled Sydney have disappeared. There is a heavy Jap surface force near Shortlands that might be escorts for the carriers. They will need to refuel somewhere then return to a major base (probably Truk) for ammo and replacement aircraft. I have a submarine screen covering Truk.

The great collection of ships that had been diverted away from Noumea and Fiji because of the carrier threat are ordered back. There are PBY detachements at Koumac and Efate and a full squadron at Noumea and Fiji and Funafati (SE of Marshalls). There are crated SBD's and F4F's headed for Noumea. There should be a small window when they can "safely" unload. Noumea wil need more supplies too.

[sprior]

Royal Sovereign and Indomitable arrive at Aden and are on their way to Columbo.

The first of the 6th Australian arrive there and are moving to Karachi. The final destination of these fine troops has not yet been fixed.

The first supply convoy is on its way from cape Town to Oz.

The merchies are being loaded up with fuel and pulling out of Soerabaya. The fuel is destined for Darwin which is fast becoming a hub, especially as we have decided to make a stand at Ambon. The USN cruiser force and Force Z+ will alos be based there. Gull, Sparrow and the MG battalions will be deployed forward to Ambon. With large ground forces deployed in Malaya, Burma, Java and the PI Johny Jap can't have too much left over for a large assault force. Hopefully the spectre of Merak will haunt them for a while yet and they'll use a large escort for major advances will slow down them down a bit.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

PS. I don't suppose you fellows have any spares of those wonderful, high energy, Bully Beef tins at Koepang, do you?

Millions of them are on their way from the Nile Delta where they have been slowly warming up.

Splendid! Nothing like a hot meal to pick up morale on the front lines, that's what I always say. As an added benefit, the tins with the bulge in the top are easier to open.

I'm afraid the Japs know not whom they have taken on, that's what I always say.

[Cap Mandrake]

So my email inbox usually consists of jokes and anti-government rants from my brother-in-law, come ons for "cheap meds", annoying ads from Dell and, if I am lucky, AE turns.

I am a bit worried, however, about one of those keystroke reading malware thingys as I just today received a message for "Hot Asian Girls, Barely Legal". I figure it's from typing "Japs" so many times. Other than that, I can't imagine what it would be.

The very next email was entitled "Meet Christian Singles in your area". Huh? The two seem largely incongruous. Maybe they are scantilly clad Asian Christians??


I don't think they have all the bugs worked out on phone marketing either. I am signed up for the national Do Not Call list. I think it is like one of those fake Pedestrian crossing buttons or elevator "close door" buttons that are not conected, but are just there to make people feel like they have some control over their purposeless lives.

Last night I got a call for a debt restructuring agency and no sooner had I told them to look for business elsewhere than some amped up guy from New York called, trying to sell me XYZ bonds.

Me: "Look, you got the wrong guy. I am not interested."

Amped up guy: "Cap Mandrake, listen to me. <pause for emphasis> This opportunity is too good to miss."

Me: "Oh yeah, then why are you calling me? Why don't you sell some to your mom and Aunt Esther?"

Amped up guy: "Cap Mandrake, <he says my name again in case I have dementia or something> I don't have an Aunt Esther."

Me: "Oh, sorry to hear she passed. Fine woman she was. I'll say a prayer for her."

Amped up guy: "Cap Mandrake! <the guy is like a pit bull> When is the last time you traded individual stocks?"

Me: Hmmm...'86..got in on the ground floor of the Zee Best Carpet Cleaing scandal.

Amped up guy: No kidding, Barry Minkow? The guy was slick. Are you ready to take the roller coaster UP this time?

Me: <nothing works with this guy so I decide to change tactis and try crazy> Hey, do you think we should reinforce Ambon?

Amped up guy: Cap Mandrake, did you say Amway?

Me: No, not Amway, Ambon, man. It's got a fine level four airfield and if we can get some Wildcats up there instead of those useless Dutch Brewsters, maybe we can teach the Japs a lesson...<CLICK>