Randomositinessisseas

[GROND]

Padaric O'Flaherty having accumulated some considerable vacation time decided that it was time to visit his cousins in America. One of his cousins in New York, as it turned out, was the host of a daytime talk show and being desperate for bodies asked Padaric if he might like talk to his viewers about the Old Country. Padaric thinks that a grand idea and agrees. They set a day to have him on and his cousin goes off with his day a little brighter.

The day for Padaric to make his TV debut dawns, he sets out for the show and in due time finds himself sitting on a couch with a red light blinking at him and his cousin turning to him and saying "This is my cousin Padaric O'Flaherty just in from Northern Ireland and he's kindly agreed to tell us all a little about his experiences in living there".

"So, Padaric, tell us about the Troubles in Northern Ireland".

"TROUBLES!". "THERE ARE NO TROUBLES IN NORTHERN IRELAND". Padaric shouts. "It's all the fault of the English newspapers and their Wicked, Sinful exageration of this harmless aspect of our national heritage! "Now, I must admit, to my shame and everlasting sorrow, that occasionally voices have been raised and sometimes even harsh words have been said but the Irish are a devout God-Fearing folk who would not so much as willingly bruise the petals on a flower. "Troubles" and Padaric drifts of into quiet muttering to himself.

His cousin (his forhead now coated in fine beads of sweat) is desperately casting about for a nice safe question to ask and finally comes up with "Tell us what you do for a living in Northern Ireland Mr. O'Flaherty?" and Padaric looks at him, gathers himself, smiles abashedly and says........."Oh, I'm the Tail Gunner on a school bus".

[Daegil]

Again, speaking of presidents...

If G. B. (You don't know who that is! You don't!) piloted a mech
(tos) and fought Martti Ahtisaari (without a mech), I think that
when the dust settles, the mech would be down on its @ss,
Ahtisaari in front of it, putting a bandaid on his head saying
"I got it this morning when I was shaving..."

OK, perhaps that's a bit of an insider...

[whitefirefox]

yyyyyyeeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhhh........................

[Korgmeister]

Haha!

Nice one Hetz. Personally, I wouldn't be able to set foot in Ulster even if I wanted to. Everyone there is gonna hate me.

"Where you from?"
"Australia"
"No, where's your parent's from?"
"Kildare" (Which is in Leinster, the Eastern province of Ireland)
"Then what're you doing in Ulster?!"
"Sightseeing."
"Are you Catholic or Protestant."
"Umm, my family was Catholic but I'm Salvation Army, personally."
"That's it!" *BLAM!*

I can't stand either the IRA or the Orangemen. They're both just a bunch of f**king terrorists, IMO.

[whitefirefox]

if a rat gets hit in the head by an ac20 and its raining snow when will the volcano expldoe and the plant grow on the lava?

[PrinceCorrin]

You should hear the names the voices in my head are calling you.

[whitefirefox]

you have voices in your head too? that would explain the phone calls my vocies keep getting..............................