Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[Moondawggie]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*******Attic of small dry cleaner establishment, Balboa, Panama, May 28, 1942********



LYB1: <broadcasting on clandestine shortwave> Rong Ranger here. Come in Riberty one. Rong Isrand here! Rong Isrand here! Ovah.

LYB voice over radio (probably somewhere in Venezuela or Bolivia but I am not going to look up which is closer so just work with me): Rong Ranger this Riberty one. You not on isrand, ovah.

LYB1: Riberty One this Rong Ranger. Rong Ranger not say on isrand, Rong Ranger say Rong Isrand here. Ovah.

LYB voice over radio: Rong Ranger this Riberty One. You say Ranger there? Ovah.

LYB1: No Riberty One, Rong Ranger here. Rong Ranger not say Ranger here. Rong Ranger say Rong Isrand here. Ovah.

LYB voice over radio: Rong Ranger this Riberty One. You say Rong Isrand ship there? Ovah.

LYB1: YES! YES! Riberty One this Rong Isrand..I mean this Rong Ranger..Rong Isrand ship here! Ovah!

LYB voice over radio: Roger Rong Isrand....I mean Rong Ranger.. Riberty One here. Rong Ranger report Rong Isrand here..I mean there. Ovah.

LYB1: HAI! I mean roger Riberty One! Rong Isrand here now. Ovah.

LYB voice over radio: Rong Ranger you sure not Ranger? Ovah.

LYB1: Hai! Ranger short for Rong Ranger. Ranger come second. Ovah.

LYB voice over radio: Roger Rong Ranger. You say Rong Isrand ship come then Ranger ship come? Ovah.

LYB1: No, Riberty One, Ranger ship NOT come. Rong Ranger not come either. Rong Ranger not even have date in 6 months. Ovah.

LYB voice over radio: Roger Rong Ranger. You sure Rong Isrand ship not rearry Ranger ship. Rong Isrand ship rook rike Ranger ship? Ovah.

LYB1: No! Rong Isrand ship NOT Ranger ship! Ovah.

LYB voice over radio: How you sure, Rong Ranger? Ovah.

LYB1: Rong Ranger sure because Rong Isrand ship say broody Rong Isrand right on broody side of broody ship! Broody Hell, Riberty One are you broody idiot? <there is a loud crash at the attic door and two Marines in tropical helmets surge into the room> Rong Ranger signing off......

Mandrake, please tell me that you never heard Abbott and Costello do "Who's on first?".....Otherwise, we're going to be in for a long war....

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Naw. They'll just outsource their MD needs to the Cubans. If I hear one more word about their fantastic health care program and their free universal health care I'm going to...well, como se dice hematemesis en espanol?

I think it goes like, "Ay Yi Yi! Yo vomito sangre! Vamos a los Estados Unitas o Inglaterra immediamente! Yo necessito un doctor verdadero!

[:D]

[sprior]

we're going to be in for a long war....

You only just noticed?

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*******Attic of small dry cleaner establishment, Balboa, Panama, May 28, 1942********



LYB1: <broadcasting on clandestine shortwave> Rong Ranger here. Come in Riberty one. Rong Isrand here! Rong Isrand here! Ovah.

LYB voice over radio (probably somewhere in Venezuela or Bolivia but I am not going to look up which is closer so just work with me): Rong Ranger this Riberty one. You not on isrand, ovah.

LYB1: Riberty One this Rong Ranger. Rong Ranger not say on isrand, Rong Ranger say Rong Isrand here. Ovah.

LYB voice over radio: Rong Ranger this Riberty One. You say Ranger there? Ovah.

LYB1: No Riberty One, Rong Ranger here. Rong Ranger not say Ranger here. Rong Ranger say Rong Isrand here. Ovah.

LYB voice over radio: Rong Ranger this Riberty One. You say Rong Isrand ship there? Ovah.

LYB1: YES! YES! Riberty One this Rong Isrand..I mean this Rong Ranger..Rong Isrand ship here! Ovah!

LYB voice over radio: Roger Rong Isrand....I mean Rong Ranger.. Riberty One here. Rong Ranger report Rong Isrand here..I mean there. Ovah.

LYB1: HAI! I mean roger Riberty One! Rong Isrand here now. Ovah.

LYB voice over radio: Rong Ranger you sure not Ranger? Ovah.

LYB1: Hai! Ranger short for Rong Ranger. Ranger come second. Ovah.

LYB voice over radio: Roger Rong Ranger. You say Rong Isrand ship come then Ranger ship come? Ovah.

LYB1: No, Riberty One, Ranger ship NOT come. Rong Ranger not come either. Rong Ranger not even have date in 6 months. Ovah.

LYB voice over radio: Roger Rong Ranger. You sure Rong Isrand ship not rearry Ranger ship. Rong Isrand ship rook rike Ranger ship? Ovah.

LYB1: No! Rong Isrand ship NOT Ranger ship! Ovah.

LYB voice over radio: How you sure, Rong Ranger? Ovah.

LYB1: Rong Ranger sure because Rong Isrand ship say broody Rong Isrand right on broody side of broody ship! Broody Hell, Riberty One are you broody idiot? <there is a loud crash at the attic door and two Marines in tropical helmets surge into the room> Rong Ranger signing off......

Mandrake, please tell me that you never heard Abbott and Costello do "Who's on first?".....Otherwise, we're going to be in for a long war....

Marine Commandant, Balboa:...look, all I want to know is the of the Jap spy at the canal.

Intel Officer: Rong.

Marine Commandant, Balboa: What do you mean, wrong? I was asking you. What is his name?

Intel Officer: No, Rong.

Marine Commandant, Balboa: Doh! Look. Suppose I were to go down to the little dry cleaners and knock on the door. Who would answer the door?

Intel Officer: No, that would be Rong.

Marine Commandant, Balboa: I'm just asking you!

Intel Officer: And I'm just telling you! It would be Rong.

Marine Commandant, Balboa: And if I knocked twice?

Intel Officer: Rong.

Marine Commandant, Balboa: So, if I went down there and knocked three times it would be wrong, right?

Intel Officer: Exactly! That's what I am trying to tell you.

Marine Commandant, Balboa: OK, suppose I go down there an ring the doorbell. Is the wrong guy going to answer the door?

Intel Officer: Probably, unless he is on the radio.

Marine Commandant, Balboa: I suppose you are going to tell me the wrong guy is going to be on the radio too.

Intel Officer: Almost certainly unless he answers the door......

[Moondawggie]

ORIGINAL: sprior

we're going to be in for a long war....

You only just noticed?

Actually, I thought you guys were going to break those LYBs at Noumea, and then it would be "Home to you in '42!"

I still think you were jobbed by some gameyness and a bad electronic die roll, but, as you say, "C'est la guerre."

Keep up the fine work and AAR!

[Moondawggie]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


Marine Commandant, Balboa:...look, all I want to know is the of the Jap spy at the canal.

Intel Officer: Rong.

Marine Commandant, Balboa: What do you mean, wrong? I was asking you. What is his name?

Intel Officer: No, Rong.

Marine Commandant, Balboa: Doh! Look. Suppose I were to go down to the little dry cleaners and knock on the door. Who would answer the door?

Intel Officer: No, that would be Rong.

Marine Commandant, Balboa: I'm just asking you!

Intel Officer: And I'm just telling you! It would be Rong.

Marine Commandant, Balboa: And if I knocked twice?

Intel Officer: Rong.

Marine Commandant, Balboa: So, if I went down there and knocked three times it would be wrong, right?

Intel Officer: Exactly! That's what I am trying to tell you.

Marine Commandant, Balboa: OK, suppose I go down there an ring the doorbell. Is the wrong guy going to answer the door?

Intel Officer: Probably, unless he is on the radio.

Marine Commandant, Balboa: I suppose you are going to tell me the wrong guy is going to be on the radio too.

Intel Officer: Almost certainly unless he answers the door......

My worst fears realized! Gotta love it, Cap! [&o]

[sprior]

It's gonna be a Rong war.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

It's gonna be a Rong war.

[:D] Yes, for all you know you could have a Rong guy in Ceyron too, though I think the cover story may not hold up so well in Aden. Do they even have dry creaners there? Hell, for all we know, they could know every time we get a naval reinforcement.

But then there is China....phhht...good ruck with that.

[Cap Mandrake]

******************May 29, 1942***************

New Scotland: 72,000 angry LYB's drank deeply of the Emperor-Brand Kool-Aide and attacked Geiger's men at La Foa. They were repulsed with about 5500 casulaties and about 2000 KIA. This would be a good thing but it consumed supply and now nearly all units there are in the red. It was a serious samckdown for the Japs. I don't think they can attack again for 4-5 d unless they have fresh troops.

A plan to try to take Norfolk Island back from the Asiatics and put some C-47's there is in motion but it will likely be too late. I think we can have 3 regiments, a BB for bombardment and a cruiser force for surface security as well as 2 USN and 1 RN carrier for CAP ready to land in 6 days. Figure 2 days to capture the island and it means no C-47 flights in for over a week. The PBY's are doing a good job. Much of the undisrupted and PBY portable portion of 2nd Marine Regt is out now. The PBY's will now work on the Army regiments, leaving 8th Marine and the tanks as a rearguard. Suprisingly, some of the 75 mm pack howitzers are getting out. I called off the Hornet evac of wildcats. There are only 6 operational F4F's at La Foa. It is not worth the risk to the carrier TF. This is a political problem because a Royal Navy F4F depleted squadron may be lost. Nobody tell Lord Admiral Sprior. [;)]

New Rorke's Drift: The RAAF Beaufighters at Darwin were deflowered in the most bestial of fashion, losing 6 airframes. The Sallys got through again and torched another B-17 on the ground. The B-17's hit back at Wyndham but took heavy fire and one was lost on the return flight. A fresh squadron of B-17E's has been sent from Tahiti to Oz. The 6 P-38's are ordered to sweep again over Wyndham and the operational B-17's will go back. We still need to contend the airspace over Darwin.

[Cap Mandrake]

****************Hula Club, Oahu, May 28, 1942********************


Fleet Admiral Mandrake: <samples a macadamia nut encrusted mahi mahi croquette while "reading" a 1935 edition of a National Geographic article titled, "Tonga, the Other Polynesia". Turns page to reveal a picture of topless young, smiling Tongan women paddling an outrigger canoe> HOOTCHIE MAMA! Somebody get my personal PBY ready. We are going on an inspection tour of Allied defences on Tonga!

[Smeulders]

Hey Mandrake, can't you just withdraw the squadrons on New Caledonia ? You'll lose the frames, but the formations should reappear in the SF/Karachi in 60 or 90 days.&nbsp;

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Smeulders

Hey Mandrake, can't you just withdraw the squadrons on New Caledonia ? You'll lose the frames, but the formations should reappear in the SF/Karachi in 60 or 90 days.

Nope. The Marine F4F squadron and the Royal Navy F4F's have no withdraw button and no disband button. I have already disbanded two USN dive bomber squadrons that had perhaps 4 biplanes between them. I disbanded a small remnant of 90th BS(M) (when Yossarian and McWatt flew to Fiji [;)])

[BrucePowers]

Man you are still using bi-planes. Is your artillery horse drawn?[:D]

[Chickenboy]

Horses...pfft....that's so "Western Front". Think really big coconut crabs for these guys. Kind of like this one:

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Man you are still using bi-planes. Is your artillery horse drawn?[:D]

Nope. Biplanes are gone from New Scotland. They are extremely vulnerable to flack but did help to sink Shokaku.

I disbanded two B-26 squadron remnants and an A-20 squadron remnant (1 plane each) and chopped up 3 PBY's for firewood to bar-b-q the delicious cocconut crabs. I have started evacuating the USAAF ground support squadron.

I would be surprised if there are 3 working Jeeps or trucks at La Foa. Geiger's boys seem to leave them out in the open during Jap bombardments and attacks.

[Cap Mandrake]

************Aboard B-17 Lucky Lady, 13,000ft, course 240, 60 miles SE of Darwin, 10:20, May 29, 1942**********



Co-pilot: There they are! Our 10 o'clock, level.

Pilot: Hmmm. Kinda early today. Better tell Darwin. <500 yds away on an opposing course are 12 Sally bombers with 8 Oscars overhead. At closest approach, everyone aboard Lucky Lady waves. An Oscar pilot waggles his wings>

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Horses...pfft....that's so "Western Front". Think really big coconut crabs for these guys. Kind of like this one:

Hey look ...a leftie. I wonder if he can pitch at all.

[princep01]

Doubt our boy can pitch, but he sure as heck can pinch! I'll bet there's a coconut or maybe a dead cat in that can.

Surely the LYB have a name for this monster....like Rodan or Godzilla. I wonder what they'd call it? The sign in today was Guigdo. You think, uh maybe:)?

[Cap Mandrake]

There are LYB's all over the Kimberly.

5th Division ...
24th Infantry Regiment ...
14th Guards Regiment ...
Are standing off West of Kimberly beating their war drums (and being pounded pretty well by our mediums as they now have no friendly air cover)


Further West is something called 6th Guards Div (that doesn't sound good). This consitutes a Corps level attack 1000 miles across a dirt road [:-]


Kimberly has level 4 forts. 32nd ID is pushing off from Alice now.


We sent another B-17 squadron from Fiji and maybe I can send the small B-26 squadron at Auckland. Fighter strength in Oz is really low and one of the Kittyhawk squadrons has to be withdrawn soon. The fight over New Scotland really depleted USAAF fighter strength. The Beaufighters lost another 3 airframes over Darwin but we are attritting the Jap fighters too.

[VSWG]

ORIGINAL: princep01

Surely the LYB have a name for this monster....like Rodan or Godzilla.

I think they call them "tanks". [;)]