Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[witpqs]

I resisted saying this for hours...

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I am 1/256 th Cherokee.

So you're saying you're just a "bit" Cherokee, then?

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: VSWG

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

entitity

There's a "tit" too many in there. No wait, just an "it". Phew!

Yes. Young braves go to Tribal Entitity to get tribal ma-milk.

Send.....turn....now

[Cap Mandrake]

Lots of Zeroes and a gratifying number of Bettys but we have lost too many SBD's. This has left the carrier air complements rich in torpedo bombers and thin on dive bombers (a bad thing for now).

Also, the evac from La Foa was pricey in PBY's.

[Cap Mandrake]

**********Situation Briefing, Pacific Fleet HQ, Pearl, June 9, 1942***********


Intel Guy:...and we have a solid confirmation on sinking of Nagato.

Adm. Kimmel: Again?

Intel Guy: Yes sir, but this time it's solid.

Adm. Kimmel: Captain, may I know the nature of the intel?

Intel Guy: But you aren't cleared for SORORITY, sir.

Adm. Kimmel: And you are?

Intel Guy: Yes sir, otherwise I wouldn't know you aren't cleared.

Adm. Kimmel: Look, Captain, you report to me, right?

Intel Guy: Yes sir!

Adm. Kimmel: Then tell what Goddamned SORORITY is.

Intel Guy: Sorry sir. It's on a "need to know" basis. <makes air quotes>

Adm. Kimmel: Captain, I am the Goddamned commander of the Goddamned Pacific Fleet. Tell me what Goddamned SORORITY is before I make you Goddmaned CO of tugboats.

Intel Guy: Yes sir. Sir may I check the door?.........

<20 minutes later>

Adm. Kimmel: Let me see if I have this right. This Jap woman, Mrs Suzuki, was a pledge to Chi Omega at UCLA in 1922, Kinesiology Major, then she goes back to Japan, has a son, who is now a sailor aboard Nagato?

Intel Guy: Almost right, sir. He WAS a sailor aboard Nagato.

Adm. Kimmel: Very well, but what is the confirmation that the ship has sunk?

Intel Guy: Letters, sir.

Adm. Kimmel: Letters?

Intel Guy: Yes sir, letters.

Adm. Kimmel: What kind of letters, Captain?

Intel Guy: Letters from her son, sir.

Adm. Kimmel: The one who is...err was aboard Nagato?

Intel Guy: Yes sir. Here is a very dutiful son. He writes every day.

Adm. Kimmel: And?

Intel Guy: And when she doesn't get one, she reports Nagato sunk.

Adm. Kimmel: Look, Captain, hasn't it occured to you all there might be another reason for the non receipt of a letter?

Intel Guy: Oh, yes sir. That's why we have a fail safe.

Adm. Kimmel: Which is?

Intel Guy: We wait 2 days sir.

Adm. Kimmel: <rubs eyes> Look Captain, what say we try to get another confirmation. Can we get a message to SORORITY?

Intel Guy: Yes sir. She has a sorority sister in the Swiss Embassy in Tokyo. She passes messages to Chi Omega headquarters in Memphis. The Chi Omega Treasurer passes it to the FBI through her great aunt. Mr. Hoover then passes it to Naval Intelligence. I suppose we could try to get a message the other way but, apparently, the Tresurer's great aunt is in hospital.

Adm. Kimmel: GOOD GOD! Japs get to her?

Intel Guy: No, gall bladder, sir.........

[Cap Mandrake]

..

[rtrapasso]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

..

You seem to be doing a number on his BBs, and not so bad on his carriers... assuming SORORITY is actually on the ball (and the sailor didn't get washed overboard or something else to prevent him from being a dutiful son...)

[Scott_USN]

Of course he could have been hit in the head with a 15in/42 BL MkI in which case he had a bad day. Or I assume it was a bad day anyway.

[Scott_USN]

If correct 5 BB's feeding fishes and being nice corals reefs is a good thing. They will be sorely pressed for Surface fleet coverage.

Of course the Nagato and Mutsu being nice kills!

[Scott_USN]

I decided the 15in/42 BL is a bad thing to get shot in the face with

[rtrapasso]

ORIGINAL: Scott_USN

Of course he could have been hit in the head with a 15in/42 BL MkI in which case he had a bad day. Or I assume it was a bad day anyway.

That would probably prevent him from being a dutiful son any longer! [X(]

Of course, the dutiful son might not have survived the battle, but the Nagato did... the vagaries of Fog of War... [8D]

PS - i am rooting that Nagato is now part of the oceanic ecology on the bottom of Choiseul Bay!

[rtrapasso]

oops - duplicate post! [:o]

[Moondawggie]

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

Judging by the progres of the war so far, I submit "Incontinent" as a possible choice.

"Incoherent" works well too...[8D]

[Cap Mandrake]

Admiral Lord Sprior, Admiral Lord Sprior!

They are making fun of me again.

Oh, wait, just realized they may be talking about you instead.

Never mind.

[Cap Mandrake]

*********June 10, 1942**********


Mrs. Suzuki has still not received a letter from her son...so Nagato is still sunk.

Kirishima, on the other hand, which USED to be sunk, has pulled a Mark Twain (or Keith Richards) and is alive and well. She bombarded Horn Is. today (Kirishima not Keith Richards) to lesson the difficulty for the Jap 65th Brigade which began landing to to stiffen the 77th Regt. The atoll attack went off at 1:2 with equal casualties. Air supply is not getting through because the airfield is shut down.

I hope the cute girls got out, especially the really cute brunette on the left in the picture with the perky bosom and nice smile. Wait...that sounds harsh and superficial, doesn't it? Oh well, I hope the blondes get out too.

The USN/RN carrier force is headed to Horn Island but will likely be too late. Port Moresby has been reconed prior to the sortie. The Japs, being the clever LYB's that they are, noticed this and put 30 new fighters at PM..but there are very few bombers. I hope to move them up along the coast and lay of about 240 miles from Horn Is and kill something. Madang airfield in Northern New Guinea is level 4 and may have Bettys.

An AVP is operating at Cooktown to provide better seaplane recon.

No attack today at Katherine. Most of the camp followers got out today.

[Cap Mandrake]

On Friday I got a letter from the IRS

On Saturday, one from the State Franchise Tax Board

On Sunday there was no mail.

*******!

I will be happy when it is Monday.

I object to the usurpation of the word "franchise". Like it is some kind of entrepeneurial effort.

Come to think of it "service" doesn't seem appropriate either. I am pretty sure they wouldn't have one Goddmaned "customer" without the ability to forcefully incarcerate their "clients".

Wait...does that sound bitter? Oh... who gives a ****.

[rtrapasso]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

On Friday I got a letter from the IRS

On Saturday, one from the State Franchise Tax Board

On Sunday there was no mail.

*******!

I will be happy when it is Monday.

I object to the usurpation of the word "franchise". Like it is some kind of entrepeneurial effort.

Come to think of it "service" doesn't seem appropriate either. I am pretty sure they wouldn't have one Goddmaned "customer" without the ability to forcefully incarcerate their "clients".

Wait...does that sound bitter? Oh... who gives a ****.

Maybe they are taxing franchises?? [&:]

North Carolina had similar schemes... besides the Medical License fee, they had a separate registration fee, and a PRIVILEGE Tax (for the privilege of conducting business)... and they imposed them on the docs AND their PAs ("Professional Association", which you kinda had to form unless you liked the idea of being sued out of existence)... this was 6 fees per year at one time (it may have changed).

Then they also tax your income and your equipment (we are up to 10 fees)... and everything else they could think of... when i totaled it up at one time, it came to over 100 different taxes and fees... of course, not all of these are on just doctors, although the triple registration fee (or sextuple fee if you were incorporated) made it feel that way.

i no longer practice in North Carolina... [8D]

[BrucePowers]

So, being doctor can be a very "taxing" occupation?[:D]

[princep01]

Please BrucePowers, do not even whisper the words "malpractice insurance" in this forum. The medicos and lawyerly types will never cease whining. The tears will become a deluge. The funeral orations will wax most eloquently. They will also start that discussion of brain worms and parasites again accompanied by gross illustrations. Can't we just agree to wage merciless warfare of the cardboard/computer code variety and forego the gross out stuff:).

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: princep01

...malpractice insurance....

Slowly I turned, step by step, inch by inch.....

[Cap Mandrake]

I finally opened the letter from the State of California after it stared at me all weekend. It was a refund. [:D]

The Feds want another 2 grand..useless racemose parasites.


I went to Disneyland this weekend. Would you believe the Tiki Room is still open? It is hilariously politically incorrect. There is a Mexican McCaw who says "welcome to the cho seeenor". I actually heard the hispanic woman next to me gasp in horror. That alone was worth the price of admission.

I closed my eyes like a teenage girl on the Splash Mountain log ride and it got caught on the automatic camera.....bloody embarrassing*


*Edited to clarify what a "log ride" was [:)]