Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[sprior]

Utterly Worthless Officer Relegated to His Position in Order to Prevent the Absolute Catastrophe that Would Befall Any Troops Under His Command in Battle: American to Austrian, Goddmanit! Do I have to do everything around here?

Antipodean Anschluss?

[Cap Mandrake]

So, anyway, on this Florida trip after a couple or "Rumrunners" (which is an absolutely sissy frozen drink that tastes like frozen strawberries and cough syrup but is made with Bacardi 151 so it was actually used by the KGB as truth serum at one point..note the Rumrunners were ordered for me it was an offer I couldnt refuse) Stalker Girl starts to blab. She tells this story about her adoptive mom's sister in Chicago who has five kids, two of which were the children of her husband, who now swims with the fishes (natural death, apparently) and three of which were not his. The thing is, everybody knew this, including he and the kids and even the neioghbors but he acted as their father. Now, naturally, this was a bit awkward, so the peripatetic aunt advances the legend that her husband had $100K in gambling debts to the Mob so he loaned her out to gangsters to pay off the debt and that is where the kids came from and that his willinglness to raise them was part of the deal. [:D][:D]

Now, two Rumrunners was NOT enough to make me believe that story, neither was it believed by the other Chicago guy, who is not Sicilian but grew up in Cicero. If you do the math you have to wonder how many "loaners" does it take to pay off $100K? Even worse, the peripatetic aunt admitted she once had an orgasm as one of her bastard kids was crowning during labor. [:D] Any woman who can reach orgasm during labor has to have a "hair" trigger.

The final bucket of cement on the shoe was the story that when her husband died she took out 2 dozen golf balls from his desk and promptly hit them into a pond followed by his clubs at which time she proclaimed, "All that little ****** left me was two kids and two dozen golf balls".

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Utterly Worthless Officer Relegated to His Position in Order to Prevent the Absolute Catastrophe that Would Befall Any Troops Under His Command in Battle: American to Austrian, Goddmanit! Do I have to do everything around here?

Antipodean Anschluss?

The Austrians got Australia as part of the "Peace in our time!" thingy.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Utterly Worthless Officer Relegated to His Position in Order to Prevent the Absolute Catastrophe that Would Befall Any Troops Under His Command in Battle: American to Austrian, Goddmanit! Do I have to do everything around here?

Antipodean Anschluss?

That is a good idea for a mod. We could use some extra brigades in Oz. It would be like sending the Nisei Regiment (442nd)to Italy.

[Kwik E Mart]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So, anyway, on this Florida trip after a couple or "Rumrunners" (which is an absolutely sissy frozen drink that tastes like frozen strawberries and cough syrup but is made with Bacardi 151 so it was actually used by the KGB as truth serum at one point..note the Rumrunners were ordered for me it was an offer I couldnt refuse) Stalker Girl starts to blab. She tells this story about her adoptive mom's sister in Chicago who has five kids, two of which were the children of her husband, who now swims with the fishes (natural death, apparently) and three of which were not his. The thing is, everybody knew this, including he and the kids and even the neioghbors but he acted as their father. Now, naturally, this was a bit awkward, so the peripatetic aunt advances the legend that her husband had $100K in gambling debts to the Mob so he loaned her out to gangsters to pay off the debt and that is where the kids came from and that his willinglness to raise them was part of the deal. [:D][:D]

Now, two Rumrunners was NOT enough to make me believe that story, neither was it believed by the other Chicago guy, who is not Sicilian but grew up in Cicero. If you do the math you have to wonder how many "loaners" does it take to pay off $100K? Even worse, the peripatetic aunt admitted she once had an orgasm as one of her bastard kids was crowning during labor. [:D] Any woman who can reach orgasm during labor has to have a "hair" trigger.

The final bucket of cement on the shoe was the story that when her husband died she took out 2 dozen golf balls from his desk and promptly hit them into a pond followed by his clubs at which time she proclaimed, "All that little ****** left me was two kids and two dozen golf balls".

you swear you're not making this sh*t up, right Cap?

i used to think cadillac margaritas were "sissy" too until i had three of them in rapid succession the other day and had to be carried home [;)]

[Cap Mandrake]

A classic margarita is NOT a sissy drink because it is predominately sour and has salt on the rim.....which is macho. It is best to order in it a rock glass on the rocks because it makes you sound knowledgable. If you prefer it frozen in a margarita-style glass for a special occaision, that should be OK, just don't make a habit out of it and, for the love of Mary, don't use a straw.

A Caddilac margarita (with expensive tequilla +/1 a shot of Grand Marinier) is probably safe.

A stawberry margarita, on the other hand, is cause to call out the large animal vet for a gelding.

[witpqs]

I suppose those little umbrellas are right out.

Are your opponents on vacation?

[Itdepends]

I thought the quote RE American Austrian translator was a clever quip based on a recent gaff in the lead up to the G20 summit where a figurine of the Australian Prime Minister was dressed up in Austrian traditional dress.
http://www.couriermail.com.au/entertainment/weird/figurine-depicts-julia-gillard-as-austrian-leader-ahead-of-g20-summit-in-seoul/story-e6frep26-1225951371993
Or maybe Americans really can't tell the difference on a map.................

[sprior]

June 15th 1942, Shwebo.

7th Armoured move to the ouskirts of Shwebo and find the place defended by the equivilant of 2 Divisions waiting for them. The losses in men is not high but mant tanks are left behind:

Ground combat at Shwebo (59,45)

Japanese Shock attack

Attacking force 21163 troops, 218 guns, 68 vehicles, Assault Value = 723

Defending force 2484 troops, 26 guns, 248 vehicles, Assault Value = 170

Japanese adjusted assault: 396

Allied adjusted defense: 13

Japanese assault odds: 30 to 1

Combat modifiers
Defender: preparation(-), fatigue(-), supply(-)
Attacker: shock(+)

Japanese ground losses:
581 casualties reported
Squads: 2 destroyed, 32 disabled
Non Combat: 7 destroyed, 39 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 4 disabled
Vehicles lost 5 (2 destroyed, 3 disabled)


Allied ground losses:
470 casualties reported
Squads: 13 destroyed, 27 disabled
Non Combat: 62 destroyed, 119 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled
Guns lost 2 (1 destroyed, 1 disabled)
Vehicles lost 120 (54 destroyed, 66 disabled)
Units retreated 1


Defeated Allied Units Retreating!

Assaulting units:
Imperial Guards Division
143rd Infantry Regiment
124th Infantry Regiment
2nd Ind.Hvy.Art. Battalion
15th Army
55th Mountain Gun Regiment
7th Field AF Construction Battalion
27th JAAF AF Bn

Defending units:
7th Armoured Brigade

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Itdepends

I thought the quote RE American Austrian translator was a clever quip based on a recent gaff in the lead up to the G20 summit where a figurine of the Australian Prime Minister was dressed up in Austrian traditional dress.
http://www.couriermail.com.au/entertainment/weird/figurine-depicts-julia-gillard-as-austrian-leader-ahead-of-g20-summit-in-seoul/story-e6frep26-1225951371993
Or maybe Americans really can't tell the difference on a map.................

[:D] That is embarrassing but at least it could be ascribed to a Kimchi overdose or something


Us Americans are better learnt about geography and such things.

"It was also interesting to see that political interaction in Europe is not that different from the United States Senate. There's a lot of -- I don't know what the term is in Austrian -- wheeling and dealing -- and, you know, people are pursuing their interests, and everybody has their own particular issues and their own particular politics."

A quite famous American, April 4, 2009

[Cap Mandrake]

Losses at Suva last 4 days. I am not sure why I had a mine tender at Suva considering there is no minefield. Maybe the LYB's will misunderestimate us. I am also not sure why I had two small AO's there. I think I had the idea it was a naval base or something.

103 pts lost, 13 P-40B's and one or two P-40E's. Jap losses are a roughly equal number of carrier aircraft loss (mostly Vals) and a few dented cruisers. My resupply effort is a dud. I gave up this turn and did the Murmansk convoy thing. The carriers are off to the SW and a new force is spotted, perhaps another cruiser bombardment force.

My air forces at Suva are not ready. There is no air HQ. SouPAC Air HQ is aboard ship and cant get in. There are only 12 P-40B's left. Ther are B-17's and B-26's at Auckalnd and Samoa that can be brought in but no good way to get in fighters (P-40E's and P-39's can reach from Samoa with drop tanks but I have almsot none there).

[USSAmerica]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

On my trip to Florida, one of the Chicagoans adavanced a theory that might explain why Eastern Command is actually West of Southwest Pacific Command. Now, keep in mind, this is HIS theory not mine and even his own wife thought he was full of manure. In his defence, though, he is Sicilian.

It goes something like this..."if you head East long enough, at some point you have to be going West, right. After all, if you head North far enough you will be going South, right"?

[:D]

That's awesome! [:D]

[Itdepends]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
[Us Americans are better learnt about geography and such things.

Tell that to George W
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... gaffe.html

But then again............he had a few vastly more amusing "Bushisms"

This is my favourite, and strangely appropriate to the current course of both my PBEM's (I appear to be my own worst enemy)

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Itdepends

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
[Us Americans are better learnt about geography and such things.

Tell that to George W
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... gaffe.html

But then again............he had a few vastly more amusing "Bushisms"

This is my favourite, and strangely appropriate to the current course of both my PBEM's (I appear to be my own worst enemy)

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

Easy there on W amigo. [:D]

Y'all y'all are just too thin skinned. Why don't you just change to "South Land" or something?[;)]

[Cap Mandrake]

PQ-17

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

June 15th 1942, Shwebo.

7th Armoured move to the ouskirts of Shwebo and find the place defended by the equivilant of 2 Divisions waiting for them. The losses in men is not high but mant tanks are left behind:

Ouch! That is a third of the tanks. Look at it this way. Our purpose was to stop the Imperiar Guard Division from bothering the Generalissimo. The operation is a stellar success!

[witpqs]

Losses at Suva last 4 days. I am not sure why I had a mine tender at Suva considering there is no minefield

Cap - AM little c (AMc) is a coastal mine sweeper. A big C M (ACM) is a mine tender. AM big C (AMC) is an armed merchant cruiser.

[Cap Mandrake]

So I finished Miracle at Midway (the good guys won) on the way to Florida and I needed something to read on the flight back so I would forget that I couldn't feel my knees, the stewardesses were all older than me, I had to pay to check my luggage and I didn't get any damn free peanuts. I bought the NYT in Florida and read it on the way to DFW. It was really bad. The lead article was on new Haitian relgious cults...zzzzzzzzzz. In DFW I bought this Crichton novel. It was pretty good and I reached page 128 over New Mexico...then there were 58 pages missing [:@][:@] There was nothing left to read but American Airlines travel crap in Spanish. Some woman two rows in front literally coughed every 5 seconds for the entire flight! Santa Maria! Take some albuterol or something or get your TB treated.

Madre de Dios! I hate flying...especially in the cattle section. I wouldn't mind paying for stale crackers if you at least got to see some nice tatas when they bend over to give it to you. The uniforms at McDonalds are hotter. No wonder the airlines are all bankrupt.*

*I just ealized this really isn't germane

[BrucePowers]

You were in Florida and didn't call?[X(][:D]

[BrucePowers]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So I finished Miracle at Midway (the good guys won) on the way to Florida and I needed something to read on the flight back so I would forget that I couldn't feel my knees, the stewardesses were all older than me, I had to pay to check my luggage and I didn't get any damn free peanuts. I bought the NYT in Florida and read it on the way to DFW. It was really bad. The lead article was on new Haitian relgious cults...zzzzzzzzzz. In DFW I bought this Crichton novel. It was pretty good and I reached page 128 over New Mexico...then there were 58 pages missing [:@][:@] There was nothing left to read but American Airlines travel crap in Spanish. Some woman two rows in front literally coughed every 5 seconds for the entire flight! Santa Maria! Take some albuterol or something or get your TB treated.

Madre de Dios! I hate flying...especially in the cattle section. I wouldn't mind paying for stale crackers if you at least got to see some nice tatas when they bend over to give it to you. The uniforms at McDonalds are hotter. No wonder the airlines are all bankrupt.*

*I just ealized this really isn't germane

Matbe you should buy a Kindle?[:D] Oh wait, it's Christmas! Ask for one as a present[8D]