THE THREAD!!!

[DuckofTindalos]

Crucifixion?

No, freedom.

[scott64]

[X(]
A Mall in Oxford Valley, PA, USA

[/align] (I work at a set where kids can get their picture taken with Santa. Among other things, we sell a CD with one picture on it.)
Customer: “What’s this I hear about a CD?”
Me: “Well, you can get a CD with one picture on it. You also get the rights to the picture so you can do anything you want with it after that!”
Customer: “But I have two kids! Why can’t they go together for the picture?”
Me: “Sir, I’m not sure I follow.”
Customer: “I have two kids. I want them both in the picture!” (The customer is holding up the line, and a woman behind him speaks up.)
Other customer: *joking* “Oh, didn’t they tell you? You have to pay using one child. Pick the one you like the best, and they’ll be in the picture. They keep the other kid.”
Customer: *horrified* “Oh my God! You’re all animals!” *hurriedly leaves* [/align]

[scott64]

(It is Christmas Eve and I am stewarding an overnight flight. A mother is traveling with her two young children, both of whom are crowding around the window.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but your children will both have to take their seats shortly.”

Mother: “Oh, it’s okay. They’re just keeping an eye out for Santa.”

Me: “Oh how lovely!”

Mother: “Are they looking out the right side of the plane?”

Me: *playing along* “They might get lucky if they keep an eye out, but since we’re about to serve the evening meal, they will need to take their seats.”

Mother: *totally serious* “No! They might miss Santa!”

Me: “Uh… well ma’am I think you’ll be alright for the moment.”

Mother: “But we can’t miss Santa! I want them to see the reindeer!”

Me: “Alright, but if they want to eat their meal they will need to sit in their seats.”

(I walk roughly two rows down the aisle when another passenger grabs my attention.)

Passenger: “I don’t care how crazy that mother is, don’t tell them the truth! It’s the only thing that’s been keeping those brats quiet all night!”

[scott64]

(It is December and Christmas decorations have been recently put up throughout town. I recognize our town manager, in the store. She is responsible for all the towns’ decorations.)

Me: *as I am ringing up her books* “I love all the lights downtown!”

Town Manager: “Thank you!”

Me: “My favorite is the reindeer topiary garden!”

Town Manager: *scowling* “Well they do look nice, but unfortunately the children like them too.

Me: *confused* “Excuse me?”

Town Manager: “The children! They are always trying to touch the reindeer.”

Me: “I’m sure they’re very excited about Christmas, and hearing all about Rudolph.”

Town Manager: “The decorations are for looking at! Not for touching! I suggested electricity but no one liked that idea.”

Me: “You suggested what?”

Town Manager: “Just a light jolt, to discourage the children!”

(I am stunned and silent.)

Town Manager: “No, no one else liked that idea either.”

Me: “Here are your books! Happy holidays!”

[sprior]

Work Log, Missile Compartment, HMS Resolution

Date Time Event Initials
25/12/90 0001 Happy F%^$(*"! Christmas FC

[Onime No Kyo]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101225/ap_ ... n_a_bottle

[DuckofTindalos]

Bedtime. Three more work days in 2010...[>:][>:][>:][>:]

[USSAmerica]

Time to shift from football to hockey.  

[scott64]

Still no snow, maybe Thursday or New Years Eve. [X(]

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: USS America

Wow, just saw a TV report that the game scheduled for tonight in Philadelphia may be postponed due to the threat of the blizzard being in full force at game time.  Maybe I won't know if I win my league until Tuesday.  [X(]

Likewise. These fantasy playoff brackets are fraught with the vagaries of weather, injury and teams sitting their starters once they've solidified their RL playoff pictures.

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: USS America

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

My son and I just checked the weather. Driving conditions for South Carolina and North Carolina are listed as extremely hazardous for later today as a snow storm is pushing through from west to east. He has decided to stay an extra day. Although he will have to use a vacation day everyone will be here an extra day[:)]

Good call, Bruce. There is around 6 inches of snow on the ground here, and the roads are not yet clear. Tomorrow should be much better. Sara got to take full advantage of the new all wheel drive SUV early this morning for the 80 mile drive to work. She said she was very pleased with how it handled, but the 90 minute drive took 150 minutes. [;)]

Wow. That sucks. It's been cooler here too. The high was only around 60F here. [:'(]

We took the kids to a large natural cavern system just North of San Antonio and then panned for semi-precious stones nearby. Beautiful cave structures underground, including some fresh 'newer' ones like 'fried eggs'. Stunning. We all got to drink some cavewater too. Fun and educational time for the kids.

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Just sit between them

I'd rather not sit next to him. Don't like him or his family.

That's an awfully strong indictment of your future SIL, isn't it? [:D]

[Chickenboy]

Oh, a UNP por moi! Bon Jour, dudes!

[scott64]

A good day for my blog. 111 visitors and they read the post on A Corpse For Christmas 30 times. [X(][:'(][:)][8D]

[stuman]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Oh, the inhumanity!

[:D]

[stuman]

ORIGINAL: Terminus

Crucifixion?

No, freedom.

Yeah, they said I hadn't done anything and I could go and live on an island somewhere.

[stuman]

Funny stories scott [:)]

[DuckofTindalos]

Morning tithe...[>:][>:][>:][>:]

[sprior]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

ORIGINAL: sprior

Just sit between them

I'd rather not sit next to him. Don't like him or his family.

That's an awfully strong indictment of your future SIL, isn't it? [:D]

I wouldn't know, I haven't met him yet.

[sprior]

And a good Boxing Day morning to you all.