Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

BrucePowers · Post by **BrucePowers** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 9:02 pm

I inadvertently gave myself a puncture wound in the hand on Friday. After 3 1/2 hours in the ER yesterday, a tetanus shot, a huger shot of antibiotics, 2 bottles of antibiotics from the drug store all is well, I think. The swelling has not gone down all the so I am not sure.

khyberbill · Post by **khyberbill** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 10:42 pm

Drink an ice cold martini with your sore hand. The cold glass will make your swelling go down. And if it doesnt, the martini will lessen the pain.

Cap Mandrake · Post by **Cap Mandrake** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 10:50 pm

Good advice but be sure to elevate the hand above the level of your heart (you may need an elbow straw for the martini but don't let anyone see you doing that).

If that doesnt work or there is spreading redness go back to the ER. Go in to see your doctor tomorrow for a wound check...and I don't mean the psychiatrist either.

Hand wounds tend to get infected.

Cap Mandrake · Post by **Cap Mandrake** » Sun Jan 02, 2011 11:02 pm

I fixed Stalker Girl's Blu-ray player. Turns out it needed a "firmware update".

This, apparently, is industry jargon for "a bunch a shit we forgot to put in before we sold it to you". And I had to figure this out from a little tiny slip of paper in "The Pacific" box, "You may need a modification of your Blu-ray player to play this product"...which is apparently industry jargon for "We were so busy trying to make money we didn't have time rent a conference room at the Ramada Inn in Kansas City for 4 hrs and agree to some kind of industry standard on this crap (NOTE: HBO does not warrant the product will be retro or forward compatible with any existing or future technology. Normally, this would make us feel bad but it working out well because now we can sell you 8 versions of the same thing that has a 100 year copyright....and don't even THINK about copying it, ass hole, or one of our agents will jab you in your fat, sedentary ass, with a poison-tipped umbrella)

BrucePowers · Post by **BrucePowers** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:12 am

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Good advice but be sure to elevate the hand above the level of your heart (you may need an elbow straw for the martini but don't let anyone see you doing that).

If that doesnt work or there is spreading redness go back to the ER. Go in to see your doctor tomorrow for a wound check...and I don't mean the psychiatrist either.

Hand wounds tend to get infected.

I didn't think the alcohol went with antibiotics. The swelling is down. I got punctured by vegetation in the yard. I was just trying to do yard work. [:D] I will be seeing my GP tomorrow if he has time.

rtrapasso · Post by **rtrapasso** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:19 am

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Good advice but be sure to elevate the hand above the level of your heart (you may need an elbow straw for the martini but don't let anyone see you doing that).

If that doesnt work or there is spreading redness go back to the ER. Go in to see your doctor tomorrow for a wound check...and I don't mean the psychiatrist either.

Hand wounds tend to get infected.

Too late... this one already was (cellulitis)... thus the high doses of antibiotics. [:(]

Cap Mandrake · Post by **Cap Mandrake** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:54 am

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Good advice but be sure to elevate the hand above the level of your heart (you may need an elbow straw for the martini but don't let anyone see you doing that).

If that doesnt work or there is spreading redness go back to the ER. Go in to see your doctor tomorrow for a wound check...and I don't mean the psychiatrist either.

Hand wounds tend to get infected.

Too late... this one already was (cellulitis)... thus the high doses of antibiotics. [:(]

Maybe they were treating Chlamydia [:D]

One time during my residency at a county hospital in LA (so called "knife and gun club" type of joint) I was working the night ER shift (every 3rd ******* night, by ra way) and they call me for this hand wound. So I drag myself out of bed at 3 o'clock in the morning, go downstairs and check out the hand wound. The hand wound, not surprisingly, has a patient attached to it. He is this huge 15 year old Samoan kid and his hand looks TERRIBLE. Turns out he got into a fight SIX DAYS before and punched another kid in the mouth so it a tooth vs hand wound. It looks REALLY BAD, like it will need surgical debridement (hacking out all the dead or infected tissue) so I wake up the Orthopedic Chief Resident. The poor bastard has every OTHER night call so I was very thankful when he agreed to drag himself out of bed at 3 ******* 30 in the morning.

He takes one look at the wound and asks, "This happened 6 days ago?

"Yes"

Then he very professionally asks, "May I ask why you chose to come in at 3 O'clock?"

"Oh, my mom thought we would get seen faster."

stuman · Post by **stuman** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 7:48 am

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Actually, I realize we had no results posted from the 28th of June. A sub gauntlet was set up to catch a wounded WJD carrier trying to make Noumea. Several WJD intact DD's were attacked unsuccessfully. These may have been escorts but no carriers were spotted. Against the transports, the subs had better luck, sinking or damaging three AK's with WJD troops aboard. These may have been evacuees or or a second wave intended for Nadi or Suva. Most of the WJD transports moved NW, correctly anticipating the gauntlet.

The SBD's sunk a laden AK but the B-26's just roughed up a school of Bottlenose Dolphin and there is going to be Hell to pay. No Jap air attacks over Suva or Nadi today, it is too costly in Netties.

A big Jap attack at Nadi fails. They gave it a shot before things get worse, which they will. The WJD Naval Guard unit pinned down on the North Fiji coast attacked today but was repelled by the Stuarts (the tanks not the Jacobites) opposing them. All 3 WJD groups on Fiji are now isolated and are doomed with thousands of Marines and support troops pouring in at Suva.

No one expects the Jacobites !

( Monty Python's Flying Circus, Series 2 Episode 2 for those that are curious [:)] )

stuman · Post by **stuman** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 8:06 am

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Good advice but be sure to elevate the hand above the level of your heart (you may need an elbow straw for the martini but don't let anyone see you doing that).

If that doesnt work or there is spreading redness go back to the ER. Go in to see your doctor tomorrow for a wound check...and I don't mean the psychiatrist either.

Hand wounds tend to get infected.

Too late... this one already was (cellulitis)... thus the high doses of antibiotics. [:(]

I jabbed myself ( inadvertently ) with a sishkabob skewer ( ok, some alcohol was involved ) and ended up with a bad-as-hell infection. It took a long time to heal properly. And far longer for my friends to quit making fun of me.

Cap Mandrake · Post by **Cap Mandrake** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:06 pm

ORIGINAL: stuman

I jabbed myself ( inadvertently ) with a sishkabob skewer ( ok, some alcohol was involved ) and ended up with a bad-as-hell infection. It took a long time to heal properly. And far longer for my friends to quit making fun of me.

Probably the pineapple juice. The stuff is a breeding ground for bacteria.

Chickenboy · Post by **Chickenboy** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 5:01 pm

My only 'decent' self-inflicted wound involves cutting the tip of my left thumb off with a pair of poultry shears. Arterial spurtage! Oh yeah! [X(]

There's a good lesson learned about not pulling on exposed nerve roots with a pair of rat-tooth forceps too, but that story'll cost ya a beer to hear.

sprior · Post by **sprior** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 5:14 pm

I sliced open my thumb on a tin of corned beef on board a Nicholson 55ft yacht half way across a choppy Channel.

Cap Mandrake · Post by **Cap Mandrake** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 6:01 pm

All this blood and dismemberment talk is making me slightly nauseated.

Couldn't we talk about naval gunnery or something?

sprior · Post by **sprior** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 6:25 pm

I had a Limbo A/S mortar bomb drop on my toes - does that count?

Cap Mandrake · Post by **Cap Mandrake** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 6:32 pm

ORIGINAL: sprior

I had a Limbo A/S mortar bomb drop on my toes - does that count?

97 kg [X(]
Madre de Dios!

No wait. That is just the warhead. The shell weight was 400 lbs!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limbo_(weapon)

sprior · Post by **sprior** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 6:35 pm

That's why we wore steel toe-capped boots when handling them.

sprior · Post by **sprior** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 6:36 pm

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: sprior

I had a Limbo A/S mortar bomb drop on my toes - does that count?

97 kg [X(]
Madre de Dios!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limbo_(weapon)

Limbo was loaded and fired automatically, with all the crew under cover - not true.

Chickenboy · Post by **Chickenboy** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 6:49 pm

The Limbo weapon? Was this standard armament on craft from the naval forces of Jamaica?

Cap Mandrake · Post by **Cap Mandrake** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 6:59 pm

By ra way, did the warhead go off?

sprior · Post by **sprior** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 7:02 pm

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

By ra way, did the warhead go off?

No, it's just a sodding great mortar bomb set to explode at a depth fixed by the Type 170 sonar

Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

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