Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[Grollub]

ORIGINAL: Alfred

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

The most important, and most challenging, of the black arts to be mastered in childhood is that of financial independence. Everything else pales in comparison.

Or get yourself in charge of an HOA and see everyone dance to your whims.

Alfred

[:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Alfred

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

The most important, and most challenging, of the black arts to be mastered in childhood is that of financial independence. Everything else pales in comparison.

Or get yourself in charge of an HOA and see everyone dance to your whims.

Alfred

Parental pride really knows no limits:


Mrs. Mengele: My son is a doctor. He conducts experiments. What does your son do?..............

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So I am driving to work...late...and my daughter calls me on the cell. Imagining that a meteor has hit the house or some such thing, I take the risk of a $300 fine and answer it.

Me: Yeah, what's up?

Daughter: Daddy, how do you do laundry?

[X(]


Here is my advice. Don't let those precious laundry moments pass you by when your kids are growing up. Put down the mouse and try to get the AE turn done AFTER you go over sorting colors and the like. It all just goes by so quickly.

Oh, you poor naive man. The critical question is what did she want to wash off before you got home?*

* For those of you whose minds just raced off to left field (or someplace worse), remember it doesn't have to be something truly awful, just something she wants to hide from Dad. Is the dog missing? Do you have his DNA on file in case you find blood? Or is there a bottle of wine missing? Etc.

[sprior]

The critical question is what did she want to wash off before you got home?*

If she's like my daughter, nothing. She probably just ran out of clean undies. Mine has been known to wear her little brothers boxers before doing her own laundry.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: witpqs

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So I am driving to work...late...and my daughter calls me on the cell. Imagining that a meteor has hit the house or some such thing, I take the risk of a $300 fine and answer it.

Me: Yeah, what's up?

Daughter: Daddy, how do you do laundry?

[X(]


Here is my advice. Don't let those precious laundry moments pass you by when your kids are growing up. Put down the mouse and try to get the AE turn done AFTER you go over sorting colors and the like. It all just goes by so quickly.

Oh, you poor naive man. The critical question is what did she want to wash off before you got home?*

* For those of you whose minds just raced off to left field (or someplace worse), remember it doesn't have to be something truly awful, just something she wants to hide from Dad. Is the dog missing? Do you have his DNA on file in case you find blood? Or is there a bottle of wine missing? Etc.

I think she had to go to work and needed pants without dog smell on them (she works at a Petsmart where they have a "Pet Hotel")[:)]


As for the missing wine...yes but not recently...more recently it was a bottle of Bombay Sapphire gone missing when Stalker Girl and I went out the desert for the weekend. After Stalker Girl accused both her daughter and my daughter of taking it...she found it hidden away where she had forgotten it. [:(]


Your question reminds of the time my daughter said at dinner, "Oh, dad, I forgot to tell you the FBI came to the door the other day" [X(][:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

Here is another question that should incite caution, "Um, hi daddy, just wondering when you were coming home?"

It is best to answer this with, "I should be leaving soon?"

[Mynok]

No, you answer with "Home? I just pulled up."

If there are nefarious things afoot, you have just created a new laundry-moment opportunity.

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Editor's Note: Point of clarification for the younger readers. The poster by the name of Dixie appears to have included a clever reference to homosexuality in the Royal Navy. This is akin to dropping the first nucelar weapon in a conflict and will almost certainly require some type of caustic response. Please stay tuned.

Oh no, not 'nucelar' war! [:D]

Apparently your brief trip to The Cornfield did not leave a sufficient impression on you in regard to mockery of posters in the thread.

How would you feel about a Lanai Room at Club Gitmo? You would be bunking with Richard Reid.

No shirt, no shoes, no problem.... [:D]

[Kwik E Mart]

ORIGINAL: Nemo121

Bah, Orcs make EXCELLENT improvisers. See below.

i think the orcs are getting a bum rap...at least they aren't goblins...(note the ammunition...)

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So I am driving to work...late...and my daughter calls me on the cell. Imagining that a meteor has hit the house or some such thing, I take the risk of a $300 fine and answer it.

Me: Yeah, what's up?

Daughter: Daddy, how do you do laundry?

[X(]


Here is my advice. Don't let those precious laundry moments pass you by when your kids are growing up. Put down the mouse and try to get the AE turn done AFTER you go over sorting colors and the like. It all just goes by so quickly.

She's what? 22? 23? [:D]

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: Mynok


I'll never have the "joy" of trying to teach a teenager the concept of bleach for whites. Thank God for small blessings.

My mom told me to do my own laundry at 15 (after an incident where I got pissy with her). I learned the hard way. [:D]

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: sprior

My daughter has only just mastered the black art of laundry but stubbornly refuses to stick it in the tumble drier. Instead it's spread over the family bathroom radiator and hallway bannister because it's "green".

However preparing a meal beyond buttered toast is still something to be mastered.

Hast thou no microwave? [X(]

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: sprior

The critical question is what did she want to wash off before you got home?*

If she's like my daughter, nothing. She probably just ran out of clean undies. Mine has been known to wear her little brothers boxers before doing her own laundry.

Lazy and ecologically conscious? You do realize that youre raising a full-blown hippie, dont you? [:'(]

[stuman]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

The most important, and most challenging, of the black arts to be mastered in childhood is that of financial independence. Everything else pales in comparison.

Oh hell yes. I second, third and fourth that statement.

[stuman]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Here is another question that should incite caution, "Um, hi daddy, just wondering when you were coming home?"

It is best to answer this with, "I should be leaving soon?"

I do the same thing.

[Moondawggie]

ORIGINAL: vettim89

Just for the record: the first president to use the term Nucular was H.S. Truman

But LBJ really perfected the "mispronunciation," although Jimmy Carter and W both tried hard to on improve on LBJ's effort.

Those were the days: A President who could combine "Nuke-lure" and Veet-Nam" in the same speech.

Carter's "Nuke-a-lar" and W's "Nuke-leer" pale in comparison; proof positive the world is run by "C" students...

[Chickenboy]

Dear Cap'n and Admiral Lord Sprior:

As fascinating as the topic of your female filial generation one laundry capabilities is, wasn't there that odd bit about...something about...I vaguely remember....

Oh yes. I recall now. THE WAR?

[Cap Mandrake]

Oh yeah...that.

The bombardment of July 7th at Nadi goes badly. It seems there was a freindly fire accident.

Ground combat at Nadi (131,160)

Allied Bombardment attack

Attacking force 10531 troops, 441 guns, 237 vehicles, Assault Value = 810

Defending force 20686 troops, 410 guns, 420 vehicles, Assault Value = 655


Allied ground losses:
13 casualties reported
Squads: 1 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Vehicles lost 1 (1 destroyed, 0 disabled)


Friendly fire incidents are the worst.


************1st Platoon, Hvy Wpn Coy, II/132nd Rgt., Nadi, July 7, 1942***********

Pvt. Van Skyke: Hey Skeets. What say we play a joke on the guys and point the mortar thingy straight up?

[sprior]

We shot down 18 Betties over Calcutta. Happy now?

[Cap Mandrake]

There was actually a kid in my high school, a certain Ike Van Skyke, who brought a 22 round to shop class, clamped it in a vise and tried to get it to go off with a scratch awl and a hammer. He was disinvited from class for a while. His head was the size of a basketball but there was some kind of wiring problem so all that extra cranial volume went to no use.


I imagine his great uncle in the 132nd was a hazard as well.