Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[Cap Mandrake]

HMS Beaver was adopted by the town of Bolton. In a very close call, Bolton city council also voted to adopt HMS Dido.

I wonder if someone made a typo on the agenda for the meeting? That would explain the Council's enthusiasm to replace Beaver.

The crew of Dido narrowly escaped endless taunting and bar fights as well.

[Cap Mandrake]

***************July 8, 1942****************


Fiji: Another 800 WJD KIA's at Suva. A Regt of Inf and 2 Arty Bn reached Nadi to bolster defences in case the WJD's try an attack. B-26 attacks over Nadi make a lot of noise but accomplish little else. Oscars and Zeroes raided over Nadi with no interecept. All the heavy bombers in theater are resting for a raid on Tanna or Noumea. Naval forces resting/refitting in New Zealand except for two carriers headed to Sydney.

Oz: wee Jap dobber sub operating off Perth trying to ruin our surprise.

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

Watch your mouth vato. [:-]

Are you talking to me, homie?

Ye, homes, where you from?

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: anarchyintheuk

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo




The best one is still the Decoy. [&o]

Much encouragement value there..... [:D]

I am partial to the USS Pyro, an ammunition ship.[:)]

USS Queerbarge is pretty funny too.

USS Manlove, nuff said.

Every navy has to maintain its traditions. [:-]

[Cap Mandrake]

***************Temporary Regional Office, M&M Enterprises, Waikanapura, New Zealand, July 9, 1942**************


Young mand in fine linen slacks, feet up on fine desk, phone in hand:...This is Mr. M.


.....


Ah, good to speak to you sir, how can I help you?


....


uhhh hmmm....uhh hmmm....Hit? I imagine you don't mean including him in a quartet with the Andrew's Sisters?


....


Yes..well..I wonder if a less energetic remedy might do. How about a career-ending scandal? We are offering a discount on those.


.....


Splenid! Let me get out the price chart and I will give you a quote. <shuffles some papers in pretense> Right, married?

....


Oh no, not you, I mean the target.


.....

Right, that is a big discount there. Married men are much easier to scandalize. OK, aristocrat?

....


Oh, commoner. I'm afraid there is a surcharge then. Location?


....

Eastern Fleet HQ, Ceylon??? Oh dear. That is quite a distance. What say I give you the South Asia rate?


...

Splendid! Normally this would come to $5000 US, but the July 4 special rate brings it down to $4500. 50% up front, 50% upon completion. Cashiers check to Dewey, Cheatham & Howe, Spring St., Los Angeles, Attention "special projects". Now, we will need the subjects name?

....

Binns Minor? Which is the first name?

....

Ah. A hyphen then?


....


Very well, no hyphen. We will get right on it when the deposit is recieved. Thank you sir. <hangs up and begins talking to the secretary> A hit over that? Some people just have no moral compass.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

Watch your mouth vato. [:-]

Are you talking to me, homie?

Ye, homes, where you from?

Boyle Heights, chato.

[stuman]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: anarchyintheuk

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake




I am partial to the USS Pyro, an ammunition ship.[:)]

USS Queerbarge is pretty funny too.

USS Manlove, nuff said.

Santa Maria! He is not making it up! [X(]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Manlove_(DE-36)

So if the HMS Beaver collided with the USS Manlove, would that be sort of like matter and anti-matter meeting ?

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: stuman

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: anarchyintheuk




USS Manlove, nuff said.

Santa Maria! He is not making it up! [X(]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Manlove_(DE-36)

So if the HMS Beaver collided with the USS Manlove, would that be sort of like matter and anti-matter meeting ?

Naw. They'd probably spend some time amiably discussing appropriate footwear for those slippery decks.

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake



Are you talking to me, homie?

Ye, homes, where you from?

Boyle Heights, chato.

You serrious? [X(]

Damn homie, Reseda's got nothing on that place. [&o]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo




Ye, homes, where you from?

Boyle Heights, chato.

You serrious? [X(]

Damn homie, Reseda's got nothing on that place. [&o]

I may have augmented the story a bit.....Terre Haute, actually. [;)]

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I may have augmented the story a bit.....Terre Haute, actually. [;)]

Yeah. That's somewhat different. [:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

***********Above Brooklyn Navy Yard, July 9, 1942****************


Ettore Boiardi, an immigrant from Italy who is living the American dream and has successfully introduced a brand a canned pasta dishes under the name "Chef Boyardee", is out on a rare non-working Saturday piloting his newly acquired Boeing 247. This is the one luxury he allows himself. He has taken his entire family up to see the Statue of Liberty from the air. He loves America, which has given him so much. He wants his children to feel the same way. He banks left, 1000 ft over the Brooklyn Navy Yard, the statue now in sight. Below him there is an extraordinary collection of military equipment, but, given the war, nobody takes notice. On the side of the aluminum-skinned plane is the newly painted logo, a big red meatball over a field of pasta.


<1000 ft below>

Lt. Col. Rutledge: Yep, he's a Jap alright. LET 'IM HAVE IT BOYS!!!!

[sprior]

Can we disband it?

[sprior]

Meanwhile even more Japs die:

Ground combat at 85,42

Japanese Deliberate attack

Attacking force 65257 troops, 710 guns, 285 vehicles, Assault Value = 1981

Defending force 35114 troops, 364 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 1104

Japanese adjusted assault: 962

Allied adjusted defense: 1918

Japanese assault odds: 1 to 2

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), experience(-)
Attacker:

Japanese ground losses:
3943 casualties reported
Squads: 70 destroyed, 92 disabled
Non Combat: 48 destroyed, 103 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 16 disabled
Vehicles lost 30 (23 destroyed, 7 disabled)


Allied ground losses:
1575 casualties reported
Squads: 12 destroyed, 162 disabled
Non Combat: 7 destroyed, 121 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 3 disabled

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Can we disband it?

It'll withdraw by itself and dump everything into the pools.

[Cap Mandrake]

*******SouPac Air HQ, Suva, Fiji, July 9, 1942**********

Halsey: ...we want you boys to support a group of Cargo Cultists on Tanna who are conducting partisan attacks on the Japs there. The C-47's could make it but they aren't tough enough considering all the Goddamned Jap fighters on Tanna.

Hirsute young man in nicely pressed grey and orange pilot's uniform: Yes sir!

Young man in fine linen slacks and jacket: Admiral, the boys of M&M Enterprises Special Ops Division are your men. What will be dropping?

Halsey: <walks over to a large metal canister and points> These darlings, RECADS.

Hirsute young man in nicely pressed grey and orange pilot's uniform: RECADS, sir?

Halsey: Yes, son, Retarded Cargo Disbursement System. It's deployed at low altitude and slowed by the drogue chute, at which point the cannister opens and the subcargo is dispersed.

Young man in fine linen slacks and jacket: Very clever sir. What is the cargo?

Halsey: In this case Spam bomblets with spring loaded air brakes. The crazy Cargo bastards on Tanna LOVE the stuff. It is the damndest thing.

Hirsute young man in nicely pressed grey and orange pilot's uniform: Why no weapons, sir?

Halsey: The crazy Cargo Cult bastards won't use anything but knifes and machetes. Seems they like to see the Japs die. Crazy Sons of Bitches, wish we had 10,000 more like them.

Young man in fine linen slacks and jacket: Yes sir, crazy Sons of Bitches.

Halsey: Say, I've been wondering. How is it you boys are equipped with the B-25? We haven't had any in theater since we lost 90th Bombardment on New Caledonia.

Young man in fine linen slacks and jacket: It's a long story, sir........

[sprior]

So it's like the convoys that arrive at the Cape.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Meanwhile even more Japs die:

Ground combat at 85,42

Japanese Deliberate attack

Attacking force 65257 troops, 710 guns, 285 vehicles, Assault Value = 1981

Defending force 35114 troops, 364 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 1104

Japanese adjusted assault: 962

Allied adjusted defense: 1918

Japanese assault odds: 1 to 2

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), experience(-)
Attacker:

Japanese ground losses:
3943 casualties reported
Squads: 70 destroyed, 92 disabled
Non Combat: 48 destroyed, 103 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 16 disabled
Vehicles lost 30 (23 destroyed, 7 disabled)


Allied ground losses:
1575 casualties reported
Squads: 12 destroyed, 162 disabled
Non Combat: 7 destroyed, 121 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 3 disabled

That is even better than it appears on first blush. Isn't a dead wee Jap dobber worth at least 2 dead wee Chinaman dobbers...or something like that?

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

***********Above Brooklyn Navy Yard, July 9, 1942****************


Ettore Boiardi, an immigrant from Italy who is living the American dream and has successfully introduced a brand a canned pasta dishes under the name "Chef Boyardee", is out on a rare non-working Saturday piloting his newly acquired Boeing 247. This is the one luxury he allows himself. He has taken his entire family up to see the Statue of Liberty from the air. He loves America, which has given him so much. He wants his children to feel the same way. He banks left, 1000 ft over the Brooklyn Navy Yard, the statue now in sight. Below him there is an extraordinary collection of military equipment, but, given the war, nobody takes notice. On the side of the aluminum-skinned plane is the newly painted logo, a big red meatball over a field of pasta.

(sniff) Such a senseless tragedy, as is often found in war. Has his family been notified yet? Next of kin? His business colleagues? I wonder how his business partner Spa Ghe Tios will take the news. [:(]

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: sprior

Meanwhile even more Japs die:

Ground combat at 85,42

Japanese Deliberate attack

Attacking force 65257 troops, 710 guns, 285 vehicles, Assault Value = 1981

Defending force 35114 troops, 364 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 1104

Japanese adjusted assault: 962

Allied adjusted defense: 1918

Japanese assault odds: 1 to 2

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), experience(-)
Attacker:

Japanese ground losses:
3943 casualties reported
Squads: 70 destroyed, 92 disabled
Non Combat: 48 destroyed, 103 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 16 disabled
Vehicles lost 30 (23 destroyed, 7 disabled)


Allied ground losses:
1575 casualties reported
Squads: 12 destroyed, 162 disabled
Non Combat: 7 destroyed, 121 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 3 disabled

That is even better than it appears on first blush. Isn't a dead wee Jap dobber worth at least 2 dead wee Chinaman dobbers...or something like that?

Yes. Something like that.