Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[Grollub]

Why not tell the merchant captain that there will be a three part (secret) conference between him, Captain Ito-san and some lawyer from D, C & H at those coordinates? [:'(]

[Cap Mandrake]

As to this question of brestesses being used as a weapon, I have seen it with my own eyes.

I went to another Super Bowl party at the Sands (long after the Rat Pack days but before it closed). It was a cool party with Dick Butkus (and others) to sign autographs, then they had the guy who sang "Ferry cross the Mersey"...I forget his name...that was kind of lame..everyone was thinking "don't you have any half naked girls or something?"

Well, it turned out they had that covered. Mud wrestling. [:D] They introduce two 20 something girls with Dow Corning enhanced bosoms wearing only bikini bottoms. Then the ref brings out their male competitor, some guy (I think he was one of the guests at the party or someboy's nephew) wearing a speedo. [:D] By round two the girls have pretty much worked this guy over and the ref had to call the match because of swelling and it wasn't around his eye either. [:D][:D]

It was quite a scene. I half expected Caligula to be introduced. I think the game was boring but I can't remember.

[Cap Mandrake]

Meanwhile, on the same side of the Mersey, but still a long way away, JJ went after Suva again with at least half a dozen Zero sweeps.

The P-39's and Marine F4F's did well, even though one full squadron fo F4F's was resting.

No Jap CV's reported at Noumea today but the recon F4's couldn't reach because supply dropped at Nadi and we ran out of drop tanks. The CV's might have made a break for it, but they are likely vulnerable to sub attack. Ground forces at Nadi restarted bombardment attacks but the Japs there are still tough.

The transports will return to Suva in about 2 d. This time they will have 2 CA's with them for security.

HMS Formidable has been dispatched to a spot SE of Tonga to pick up one of the VMF squadrons at Suva. CA's and DD's with their refits completed are ordered back to Wellington from Auckland to form up with Wasp and Illustrious for the journey to Perth.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Grollub

Why not tell the merchant captain that there will be a three part (secret) conference between him, Captain Ito-san and some lawyer from D, C & H at those coordinates? [:'(]

Ito-san would do it if there is "Gord" involved.

[Mynok]

"Welcome to His majesty's service son, your gear will include binoculars, an airplane identification chart, a big ass radio AND a brand new Mae West vest and 3 canisters of shark repellent."

You forgot Depends.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Mynok

"Welcome to His majesty's service son, your gear will include binoculars, an airplane identification chart, a big ass radio AND a brand new Mae West vest and 3 canisters of shark repellent."

You forgot Depends.

Are they even invented yet? Maybe there is an adult diaper grognard in the crowd that can help us out.

[moore4807]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: Mynok

"Welcome to His majesty's service son, your gear will include binoculars, an airplane identification chart, a big ass radio AND a brand new Mae West vest and 3 canisters of shark repellent."

You forgot Depends.

Are they even invented yet? Maybe there is an adult diaper grognard in the crowd that can help us out.

I CERTAINLY wasn't around then but didn't they have Dydee delivery n' pickup back then? [:D]

I think an AKL would be need to be detailed for it - but certainly necessary!

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: moore4807

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: Mynok



You forgot Depends.

Are they even invented yet? Maybe there is an adult diaper grognard in the crowd that can help us out.

I CERTAINLY wasn't around then but didn't they have Dydee delivery n' pickup back then? [:D]

I think an AKL would be need to be detailed for it - but certainly necessary!

As I recall, Dydee was a truck-based delivery service so that is a no-go for 400 nm out in the Indian Ocean.

How about issuing each sailor TWO adult diapers (and 3 each for the Captain and exec), one for when the Vals start screaming down from 10,000 ft when you are making 4 kts and the second for when the Oceanic White Tips show up?

That seems like a small price to pay. Look at all the cruisers I lost trying to hold New Scotland, I mean, how much do those things cost?

[Grollub]

... or you could do a dry-run of the new (tentative) Perth - Diego Garcia passenger ferry. Just to check out there aren't any hidden reefs en route or so? [:'(]

Edited: Grammar.

[Cap Mandrake]

..

[Chickenboy]

Cap'n / Admiral Lord Sprior:

I'm taking the liberty of resetting your subject line in the AAR, as I believe it may represent a breach in your OPSEC.

[Cap Mandrake]

***********Tanjang Benoa, Bali, July 23, 1942************


A continuous stream of Little Yellow Bastard infantry descends a gangplank onto the dock, in doubletime.

LYB Officer: HURRY! ENEMY COMING!

[Cap Mandrake]

So I am coming out of the grocery store and am approached by eager little Girl Scouts selling cookies. I actually like the Thin Mints but the guy at the DMV already made me increase my weight on my driver's license and, even if I exercise self control, Stalker Girl will eat them...and..they are so eager I don't want to just say no...so I find myself saying, "No thanks sweetheart I still have thin mints in the freezer." It worked.


I am going to Hell right?

[Alfred]

No. Just buy an indulgence. That is what they were for.[:)]

Alfred

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Alfred

No. Just buy an indulgence. That is what they were for.[:)]

Alfred

So I have to buy an indulgence because I turned down an indulgence? It all seems very complicated. Why do I have the feeling that just buying the Thin Mints and giving them to a fake homeless guy on the freeway offramp would have been cheaper?

[Alfred]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: Alfred

No. Just buy an indulgence. That is what they were for.[:)]

Alfred

So I have to buy an indulgence because I turned down an indulgence? It all seems very complicated. Why do I have the feeling that just buying the Thin Mints and giving them to a fake homeless guy on the freeway offramp would have been cheaper?

Perhaps cheaper in this secular material world. But as I am certain your mayan housekeeper would point out, nothing is too expensive if it avoids that place. Besides which, I rather suspect the indulgence can be claimed as a tax write off, you know a necessary expense incurred in the normal course of your work. Don't think the homeless guy would give you a receipt to show the IRS.

Alfred

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So I am coming out of the grocery store and am approached by eager little Girl Scouts selling cookies. I actually like the Thin Mints but the guy at the DMV already made me increase my weight on my driver's license and, even if I exercise self control, Stalker Girl will eat them...and..they are so eager I don't want to just say no...so I find myself saying, "No thanks sweetheart I still have thin mints in the freezer." It worked.


I am going to Hell right?

No. You are going to a room with no exits where the only thing to eat is girl scout cookies. And no matter how hard you try you will never, ever be able to get off the wrapper because you cut your fingernails too short and you can't get a firm grip with your teeth.

There's a place where people go. A place where cookies have their revenge. A place called The Twilight Zone.

[Cap Mandrake]

OK <crosses self>. You talked me into it. Do I need a second indulgence for saying the homeless guy was fake?


By ra way, everyone knows what the sign of the cross is but what does it mean when when you do the sign of the cross and then adjust your package?



It means you are a Cubano, Dominicano or Puertorriqueno and you are batting .228 and you need a hit really badly because you have free agency at the end of the season.

If you look up toward Heaven first, then make the sign of the cross and then spit it pretty much means you are facing Roger Clemens and you just want to see your mistress one more time.

[perkinh]

Nolan Ryan would kick Clemens #$@$! Then charge the dugout looking for Pedro.

[anarchyintheuk]

The image of him punching Robin Ventura is pretty much imprinted on my brain. I don't think it replaced anything important up there.