THE THREAD!!!

[scott64]

Supermarket in Perth, Australia

(I am checking out a customer.)

Customer #1: “No, no, no! I want the fruit in a separate bag.”

Me: “No problem. I was just going to do that anyway.”

Customer #1: “No, I want them separate. They’ll get squashed.”

Me: “So, separate from each other?”

Customer #1: “Yes, of course! Or they’ll get bruised.”

(By this point, the customer has been rude enough. I put each piece of fruit in its own individual bag while he pays. When he has rushed off, both I and the next customer notice he has left three of the four bags of fruit behind.)

Me: “Sorry, just be a second.”

(I run to a coworker not on register.)

Me, to coworker: “The previous customer left these behind. He’s wearing a red cap and a black t-shirt, heading out the exit by the bank.”

Coworker: “On it!” *dashes off*

Customer #2: “After all that fuss, and he forgot about it!”

Me: “The sad thing is, I’d put money on it somehow being my fault.”

Customer #2: “No, surely not?! It was sitting on the bench, plain as day.”

Me: “You’d be surprised, really. Most people are rational, but in this job you really do get to see all types. Some people just can’t take responsibility for their own actions, and we’re easy targets for blame.”

Customer #2: “That’s sad, but you’ve got me as a witness!” *smiles*

(The first customer storms back to my register.)

Customer #1: “You stole my shopping! Where is it? You kept it to make me look like a fool!”

Me: “It’s okay. It’s right here.”

(I hand over the bags, smiling.)

Customer #1: “Where were they? You hid them behind the register?”

Customer #2: “No, they were right there on the bench with the rest of your shopping.”

Customer #1: “Oh. I thought you’d forgotten to pick them up from back there.”

Customer #2: “They sent someone after you, too.”

Me: “It’s fine. It looks like you were in a rush. Have a good day!”

(The first customer scurries off grumbling and clutching his bags.)

Customer #2: “I thought you were just kidding! I had no idea people could be so stupid! And so very rude to you for his own mistake! I’d never blame any of you for something like that.”

Me: “I know. That’s what makes you one of the good ones!”

[Apollo11]

Hi all,

Good morning!


Leo "Apollo11"

[USSAmerica]

Good Friday morning - Tithe. [&o][&o][&o]

[Onime No Kyo]

Morning tithe.

[DuckofTindalos]

Tithe...

[Chickenboy]

Good morning tithe...

Speaking of which-everyone's 'tithing up' this morning. Nothing interesting going on out there?

[DuckofTindalos]

Well, my Friday at work felt suspiciously like a Monday. I could whine about that, but I'm too tired...[>:][>:]

[Apollo11]

Hi all,

Time to go home after work tithe...


Leo "Apollo11"

[DivePac88]

Early morning tithe. [:)]

[Mynok]

ORIGINAL: Terminus

Well, my Friday at work felt suspiciously like a Monday. I could whine about that, but I'm too tired...[>:][>:]

Had a whole week of Mondays myself......[>:]

[Apollo11]

Hi all,

ORIGINAL: DivePac88

ORIGINAL: Apollo11

Darn... very small gas leak in basement of our apartment building... no gas... big complication... argh... [:@]

Sorry to hear that Leo, hope you're not in danger, and it is a speedy repair. [:)]

They fixed it today and we got gas back... but they must work more next week (and probably after that as well)...


Leo "Apollo11"

[Apollo11]

Hi all,

[:(]

Officer shot dead on board submarine HMS Astute

A Royal Navy officer has been killed after a rating turned a gun on him following a dispute between sailors on Britain’s most modern submarine.

By Telegraph UK


The incident happened this afternoon during a changeover of armed guards at the pier where the £1 billion nuclear submarine Astute was berthed in Southampton.

It is understood that the submariner pulled out his 9mm pistol and shot the officer and fellow sailor who had come to change the guard. The officer was killed outright and the rating suffered severe wounds that are said to be critical but not life-threatening.

The sailor was disarmed and has been detained by Hampshire police. Sources suggest that he will be charged with murder.

“It happened earlier today when they had the weapons changeover for the sailors who are guarding Astute,” a source said.

“It appears this rating got into an argument then just went crazy and began shooting people. He has not served in Afghanistan so it doesn’t appear to be related to combat stress like PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder).”

Astute was visiting Southampton as part of a goodwill visit during sea trials before she becomes fully operational later this year.

Southampton City Council's mayor, leader and chief executive were on board when a fatal shooting happened today, the council said. They were not injured.

Defence Secretary Dr Liam Fox said: “I am greatly saddened to hear of this incident and of the death of a Royal Navy service person in this tragic incident.

"It is right and proper that a full police investigation is carried out and allowed to take its course. My thoughts and sympathies are with those who have been affected and their families.”

An MOD spokesman added: “Two Royal Navy personnel have been involved in a firearms incident at Southampton docks where HMS Astute is alongside.

"Sadly, one has now died as a result of his injuries. The Royal Navy is now attempting to inform their families as a matter of urgency.

"A third Royal Navy serviceman has been arrested by Hampshire Constabulary and is now in custody. This incident was not terrorist-related and there is no threat to the wider public. We are co-operating fully with the police investigation and a Royal Navy service investigation will begin in due course."

She is the first of seven boats in her class and will be the most sophisticated hunter-killer submarine in the world when she begins operations in earnest.

However she has already attracted controversy after her first captain Commander Andy Coles was relieved of command after the boat ran aground on mud off the Isle of Skye last October.

He was replaced by Cdr Iain Breckridge who was in command of the submarine Tireless when an oxygen generator exploded killing two crew while she was submerged under the polar icecap in 2007. He received an OBE in recognition of his leadership skills in bringing the crew to safety to the surface through the ice while the boat filled with noxious fumes.

The incident took place in the Eastern Docks area of the city. Police have sealed off the area.

A police spokesman said: "Hampshire police were called by their Ministry of Defence colleagues at 12.12pm today and are currently liaising with them to establish the exact circumstances of the incident.

"People should be reassured there is no risk to public safety."

Television news pictures showed police vehicles, fire engines and a helicopter believed to be the Hampshire and Isle of Wight Air Ambulance on the dockside alongside the submarine.

The vessel arrived on Wednesday, following 46 days at sea for the 98-strong crew, for an informal five day visit.

The submarine was at 38/9 berth, with a 50 metre exclusion zone being patrolled by MoD police officers at all times.

During its stay HMS Astute was hosting several visits from sea scouts and local school and college pupils from the throughout the city and New Forest.

HMS Astute previously hit the headlines when it ran aground on a shingle bank between the Scottish mainland and the Isle of Skye and remained marooned for several hours.

The embarrassing incident in October last year cost Commander Andy Coles his command of the submarine. His successor is commanding officer Iain Breckenridge.

HMS Astute was named and launched by the Duchess of Cornwall in June 2007 before being welcomed into the Royal Navy in August last year at a commissioning ceremony at Faslane Naval Base on the Clyde.

The submarine weighs 7,800 tonnes, equivalent to nearly 1,000 double-decker buses, and is almost 100 metres (328ft) long.

Its Spearfish torpedoes and Tomahawk cruise missiles are capable of delivering pinpoint strikes from 2,000km (1,240 miles) with conventional weapons.

The submarine's nuclear reactor means it does not need refuelling and it makes its own air and water, enabling it to circumnavigate the globe without needing to surface.

Built by defence giant BAE Systems at Barrow in Furness, Cumbria, it was the first in a fleet of six which will replace the Royal Navy's Trafalgar class submarines.

The £1.2billion submarine - flagship of the Navy’s submarine fleet - made headlines last October when it ran aground off the Scottish coast.

The boat, which is first in its class, ran aground by its stern in a manoeuvre that “went slightly wrong” after it had dropped some sailors ashore in tidal waters off the Isle of Skye.

A few weeks after the Isle of Skye incident it broke down on its first day back at sea and had to limp back to port.

The 97m-long (318ft) HMS Astute is described as the stealthiest ever built in the UK.

It is supposed to be capable of staying at sea for three months at a time.

The submarine weighs more than 7,000 tonnes.

In place of a periscope, the sub has a towering 'Optronic Mast,' gathering information via fibre optic cables and transmitting images to the control room in high definition format.

Its 39,000 acoustic panels mask its sonar signature, meaning it can go undetected at sea and can even listen to mobile phone conversations.

Its nuclear reactor will not need to be refuelled once during its projected 25 years of service.

The stair wells and corridors are narrow, the ceilings are low and bunk spaces that are the size of a reasonable double bedroom sleep up to 18 seamen.

Leo "Apollo11"

[thegreatwent]

Tithe[&o]

[thegreatwent]

Poor Astute. Must have a Jonah on board.

[Apollo11]

Hi all,

Terrible... just terrible... [:(]


Japan earthquake debris in the Pacific:








Leo "Apollo11"

[JWE]

ORIGINAL: Apollo11
Officer shot dead on board submarine HMS Astute

Officer annoyed on board spaceship PBNWTBBTAE (princess, but not wishing to be better than anyone else) Wanda

It is reported that the spacer pulled out what seemed to be his sidearm and shot the officer and a fellow spacer who had come to change the guard. The officer was impacted by several high velocity gummy bear bullets and the rating suffered a noticeable bruise that is said to be critical but does not require spa therapy.

The spacer was disarmed and has been placed in caring custody by Lunar health and rehab services. Sources suggest that he will be charged with creating an undesirable environment.

“It happened earlier today when they had the happy-happy changeover for the spacers who are guarding Wanda,” a source said.

“It appears this spacer perceived a negative comment, and was justifiably disconcerted and began ejecting gumby bear pellets at people. He has not served in the kitchens so it does not appear to be related to personal stress like PTSD (personal traumatic stress disorder).”

Defence Secretary Dr Subaramian Krishanaswarmy Dakshinamourthy Fox said: “I am greatly saddened to hear of this incident and of the unacceptable defacement of a Royal Space Navy service person in connection with this tragic incident.

"It is right and proper that a full peace and love investigation is carried out and allowed to take its course. My thoughts and sympathies are with those who have been affected and their families.”

An MOD spokesman added: “It is not understood how this spacer could have acquired a weapon capable of issuing kinetic gummy-bears. All military weapons have been long ago peace-bonded to shoot nothing but warning and instructional signs, in simple two syllable words.”

“It appears that this spacer acquired a child’s gummy-bear dispenser and increased it’s dispensing velocity.” An authoritative source stated.

Accordingly, all dispensers and dispensing toys have been removed from the market as unsafe, and the intelligence quotient for Government Care Givers (everybody except the toffs) has been reduced from 78 to 40; 78 obviously resulting in some people getting ideas way beyond what we think they are bright enough to come up with.

[Apollo11]

Hi all,

Zsssssss time... [>:][>:][>:]


Leo "Apollo11"

[Mynok]

Shipped the wife home and am batching it this week. Time to go throw together some fodder.

[witpqs]

6 to 12 inches inches snow predicted here through tomorrow afternoon. This Global Warming sure is cold! [:D]

[DivePac88]

ORIGINAL: Mynok


Shipped the wife home and am batching it this week. Time to go throw together some fodder.

I'm assuming you mean 'Blokes Food' Mynok. Yes... there is nothing like a good feed of steak/eggs/chips, all fried or deep fried of course.