Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[Moondawggie]

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

ORIGINAL: Mynok


Silly Mac...doesn't he understand centrifugal force?

Uhhh---It seems to me that Major Richter has his 3D g-force and centripetal accelleration vectors confused:

1. Once Papua has been "sawn off" by the WJDs from the rest on New Guinea, gravitational attraction will pull it down into the sea, creating a Tsunami that will wash over all of NE Oz, effectively washing away all allied facilities in that hemi-continent. Papua won't "fall down" onto Oz, but the Wiley JDs will still accomplish their goal.

An excellent way to illustrate this concept to the General is to have Richter take the map off the wall, lay it on the edge of a table with Papua hanging over the edge, and then saw the map in half. It falls down, not into Townsville. Even field officers can often understand physical demonstrations of this nature.

2. Unfortunately, as rtpasso correctly points out, the WJDs probably haven't taken into account the dangers posed by centripetal acceleration acting on on freely mobile object sitting on the surface of a rotating sphere: When one breaks down the primary rotational vector into its component vectors, one discovers that the free objects are rapidly driven to the equator of the rotational mass, which in this case is northward to the equator.

Which means, of course, that instead of falling into the sea due to gravitational attraction, Papua instead may be flung towards the equator, smashing against Truk and subsequently Guam, until it stabilizes as a convieniently located landmass for holding "crossing the line ceremonies." Blowback is a bitch!

The inevitable outcome of such an occurrence would be to destroy 2 major IJA/IJN support bases, thereby saving the USMC from having to make some tough future landings on the road to Tokyo.

Ah, physics, and F=mg. It's not just a good idea, it's the law!

[Mynok]

Leave it to me to bring out the pathologists masquerading as physicists. [:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

Notice in a physics cartoon there is more attention given to the centrifuge than there is the stick figures.

Also, what kind of retard evil genius designs a centrifuge with a horizontal axis of rotation?

[rtrapasso]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Notice in a physics cartoon there is more attention given to the centrifuge than there is the stick figures.

Also, what kind of retard evil genius designs a centrifuge with a horizontal axis of rotation?

One that wants to make it easy to draw??

[Cap Mandrake]

************M&M Enterprises South Pacific HQ, Suva, Fiji, August 17, 1942*********

Man in fine linen slacks: <on telephone with imported Italian loafers* up on desk> ...look, that is what I am paying you for Richter. I don't care if he says he graduated first in his class at Westpoint. I am here to tell you it was either a weak year or he knew somebody. I have a copy of his senior thesis. Let me just say the man is no genius.

.....


Negative! DO NOT say anything about Corregidor. You are trying to align his incentives with yours not make an enemy of him. I thought you told me you had sales experience?

.....

Floor wax? Are you kidding me? My chief geologist is a floor wax salesman? <cups phone with hand and calls to other side of the room> Yossarian, you ethnic SOB, what is that expression you use?

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: Santa Maria!

Man in fine linen slacks: Yeah that's it! <uncovers phone> Santa Maria, Richter! Santa Maria! <he pronounces "Santa" like the guy in the red suit> Do you know what that means, Richter?

......


Yeah, well, in my book it means why did I hire you if you can't close the deal on a guy with an ego the size of New Guinea. Butter him up.

.....

No, not his wife, you moron, his military genius <makes air quotes> That's what he wants to hear. Tell him if Papua breaks off it could ruin his career.

.....

Hell, I don't know. Use geology terms. Bluff. Tell him Papua New Guinea is sitting on big deposit of schist.

.....

No SCHIST! Where the Hell did you go to geology school, Richter? Tell him Papua sits on schist and Western New Guinea sits on granite. Believe me, with his ego, he won't ask any more questions.

.....

OK. Get it done. I am already in big for the cement ordnance. We need to move this stuff. OK, you can do it son. I have confidence in you. Talk to you Tuesday. <hangs up phone>

I don't trust that kid to tie his own shoes.

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: But you just said you had confidence in him.

Man in fine linen slacks: Yossarian, you naive SOB, I was trying to motivate him.

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: But you don't really believe what you told him?

Man in fine linen slacks: Santa Maria, man! What good would it do to tell him I think he is an idiot?

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: Do you do that to me?

Man in fine linen slacks: Do what?

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: Butter me up like that?

Man in fine linen slacks: Yossarian, you crazy, insecure SOB, when is the last time I had something good to say about you?

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: Hmmmmm...<looks up at the ceiling>...I can't say I remember any.

Man in fine linen slacks: See, there you have it. You sound like a woman. Grow a pair, would you. <throws a folder across the desk> Here, look at this.

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: <picks it up> "How I Would Save the Philippines by Douglas A. MacArthur". It is all about him even then.

Man in fine linen slacks: Get this. His plan involved 400 B-10B and 300 P-26. I could have made a fortune if the Army adopted his plan. What an idiot.

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: Everyone thought his clone was a dim bulb but I liked the guy.

Man in fine linen slacks: What was that, Yossarian?

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: Oh, never mind.

Man in fine linen slacks: What I don't get is how somebody like that rises to that level of command.

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: Chutzpah

Man in fine linen slacks: Chutzpah? Yossarian, you crazy, secretive SOB, I didn't know you spoke Yiddish?

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: I worked in the Catskills one summer in college.

Man in fine linen slacks: No kidding? Stand up?

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: No, bussing tables.......


* 99% of authentic Italian loafers in Fiji in 1942 were imported so this is largely redundant.

[BrucePowers]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Notice in a physics cartoon there is more attention given to the centrifuge than there is the stick figures.

That's because it is a science cartoon not an art cartoon. What do you think this is, Calvin and Hobes?[:D]

You guys should watch the Big Bang Theory more often[:D]

[rtrapasso]

* 99% of authentic Italian loafers in Fiji in 1942 were imported so this is largely redundant.

Wouldn't 100% of authentic Italian loafers in Fiji be imported?? [&:]

[USSAmerica]

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

* 99% of authentic Italian loafers in Fiji in 1942 were imported so this is largely redundant.

Wouldn't 100% of authentic Italian loafers in Fiji be imported?? [&:]

Maybe 1% were not "imported" but were "smuggled" in? [:D]

[sprior]

Why are Italians loafing in Fiji? Shouldn't they be doing something constructive like building anti-submarine barriers, er I mean causeways?

[rtrapasso]

ORIGINAL: USS America

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

* 99% of authentic Italian loafers in Fiji in 1942 were imported so this is largely redundant.

Wouldn't 100% of authentic Italian loafers in Fiji be imported?? [&:]

Maybe 1% were not "imported" but were "smuggled" in? [:D]

A different kind of importation, yet still imported... [:D]

[USSAmerica]

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

ORIGINAL: USS America

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso



Wouldn't 100% of authentic Italian loafers in Fiji be imported?? [&:]

Maybe 1% were not "imported" but were "smuggled" in? [:D]

A different kind of importation, yet still imported... [:D]

Technicalities are "opportunities" for M&M Enterprises. [8D]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Why are Italians loafing in Fiji? Shouldn't they be doing something constructive like building anti-submarine barriers, er I mean causeways?

Do you think we can trust them? Aren't they part of the axis or something?

[sprior]

Aren't they part of the axis or something?

Only temporarily

[Cap Mandrake]

This reminds me of an offensive joke.


Italian Guy: You know, da cowboy boots, they come-a from a da Texas, the sandals, dey come-a from a da Middle East but <with pride> da LOAFERS, DEY COME-A FROM ITALY

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Aren't they part of the axis or something?

Only temporarily

[:D]

By ra way, did Churchill fill out an Environmental Impact Study on that thing? Looks like a tidal inelt or something. Surely the East Kengsington limpet was harmed?

[perkinh]

Makes me think of Bob Newhart and all his phone scits...freakin histerical.

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

************M&M Enterprises South Pacific HQ, Suva, Fiji, August 17, 1942*********

Man in fine linen slacks: <on telephone with imported Italian loafers* up on desk> ...look, that is what I am paying you for Richter. I don't care if he says he graduated first in his class at Westpoint. I am here to tell you it was either a weak year or he knew somebody. I have a copy of his senior thesis. Let me just say the man is no genius.

.....


Negative! DO NOT say anything about Corregidor. You are trying to align his incentives with yours not make an enemy of him. I thought you told me you had sales experience?

.....

Floor wax? Are you kidding me? My chief geologist is a floor wax salesman? <cups phone with hand and calls to other side of the room> Yossarian, you ethnic SOB, what is that expression you use?

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: Santa Maria!

Man in fine linen slacks: Yeah that's it! <uncovers phone> Santa Maria, Richter! Santa Maria! <he pronounces "Santa" like the guy in the red suit> Do you know what that means, Richter?

......


Yeah, well, in my book it means why did I hire you if you can't close the deal on a guy with an ego the size of New Guinea. Butter him up.

.....

No, not his wife, you moron, his military genius <makes air quotes> That's what he wants to hear. Tell him if Papua breaks off it could ruin his career.

.....

Hell, I don't know. Use geology terms. Bluff. Tell him Papua New Guinea is sitting on big deposit of schist.

.....

No SCHIST! Where the Hell did you go to geology school, Richter? Tell him Papua sits on schist and Western New Guinea sits on granite. Believe me, with his ego, he won't ask any more questions.

.....

OK. Get it done. I am already in big for the cement ordnance. We need to move this stuff. OK, you can do it son. I have confidence in you. Talk to you Tuesday. <hangs up phone>

I don't trust that kid to tie his own shoes.

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: But you just said you had confidence in him.

Man in fine linen slacks: Yossarian, you naive SOB, I was trying to motivate him.

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: But you don't really believe what you told him?

Man in fine linen slacks: Santa Maria, man! What good would it do to tell him I think he is an idiot?

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: Do you do that to me?

Man in fine linen slacks: Do what?

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: Butter me up like that?

Man in fine linen slacks: Yossarian, you crazy, insecure SOB, when is the last time I had something good to say about you?

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: Hmmmmm...<looks up at the ceiling>...I can't say I remember any.

Man in fine linen slacks: See, there you have it. You sound like a woman. Grow a pair, would you. <throws a folder across the desk> Here, look at this.

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: <picks it up> "How I Would Save the Philippines by Douglas A. MacArthur". It is all about him even then.

Man in fine linen slacks: Get this. His plan involved 400 B-10B and 300 P-26. I could have made a fortune if the Army adopted his plan. What an idiot.

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: Everyone thought his clone was a dim bulb but I liked the guy.

Man in fine linen slacks: What was that, Yossarian?

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: Oh, never mind.

Man in fine linen slacks: What I don't get is how somebody like that rises to that level of command.

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: Chutzpah

Man in fine linen slacks: Chutzpah? Yossarian, you crazy, secretive SOB, I didn't know you spoke Yiddish?

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: I worked in the Catskills one summer in college.

Man in fine linen slacks: No kidding? Stand up?

Hiruste man drinking a frozen libation: No, bussing tables.......


* 99% of authentic Italian loafers in Fiji in 1942 were imported so this is largely redundant.

[sprior]

Time to decide between Otter and Stoat.

If we do Otter then I think we need to go Port Hedland - Broome - Wyndham - Darwin.

Stoat means pushing 4 -5 divisions up the road from a Town Called Malice and I don't think we can support that force along that track.

[sprior]

We still own Ramree island.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

We still own Ramree island.

Yeah baby! That give me the ramree.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Time to decide between Otter and Stoat.

If we do Otter then I think we need to go Port Hedland - Broome - Wyndham - Darwin.

Stoat means pushing 4 -5 divisions up the road from a Town Called Malice and I don't think we can support that force along that track.

We can't even fly in enough toilet paper to Daly. Fortunately, there isn't enough food either, so everything sort of balances out.

Two if by sea is looking better. I think JJ moved a division from Katherine to Darwin, by ra way. They also increased the fighter cover at Darwin. I am slowly converting a few more B-17E squadrons to the B-24 so we will be able to hit Darwin from Malice. The B-17E's can operate from Geraldton to take out Port Headland airfield. I say when get about 40-50 B-17's together and move them to Geraldton 1 or 2 d before the op commences so we don't tip our hand.

It still looks like Derby is their only weak spot. What are the ground pounders prepped for?


2 full fleet oilers and a tanker convoy with about 60,000 headed Perth.