ORIGINAL: rtrapasso
[>:]
OK, smart***, just for that I am going to tell you about the 2nd Battle of the Torres Strait.
**********09:15, Aug 17, 1942***********
Lt.JG Toutant "Frenchie" Beauregard stands on the bridge of PT-120. He commands a flotilla of 7 boats ordered to protect Horn Is. Recon reports two Jap Torpedo Boats approaching. He is not worried as he has a surprise in store. He has used his family wealth to customize PT-120 with a special order weapon brought at great expense from Charleston, SC. It isn't regulation, of course, but, given sufficient "incentive", one can get just about anything from private weapons resellers in the PTO.
Lookout: Enemy ships, bearing 100...range 11,000 yds!
Lt.JG Toutant "Frenchie" Beauregard: <puts his glasses to his eyes> Jap torpedo boats...two of 'em. They are coming around. They mean to cross our "T"...<he laughs derisively with the knowledge his main firepower is on his foredeck>. Make our course 100, flank speed. Signal all boats to attack! <the boats swing toward the enemy and white water climbs high behind the boats, especially for PT-120, for she appears down by the bow a bit. Several boats begin firing their .50's from improbable range. The tracers arc upward and then fall hundreds of yards from the target. It is really poor firing discipline, but their is plenty of ammo and it is fun. The Japs fire back, not doing much better. It is the Lt's intention to close to about 4500 yds and surprise the Little Yellow Bastards with his secret weapon. The range passes 6500 yds. They are closing fast. Time to act>
UNCOVER THE DICTATOR! <the crews rushes forward and pulls back the canvas on the foredeck. As the canvas is pulled away, there is revealed a massive cast iron seige mortar and a pile of 13 inch cannon balls. An inscription on the base reads "The Dictator, Framingham Foundry, January 1862, Distributed by M&M Enterprises, Ordnance Reselling Division">
Make ready the gun, Mr. Cathcart! Maximum elevation, double charge!