Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[thegreatwent]

Reading this AAR I become more and more convinced that it is actually a cleverly disguised manuscript for a Metahistorical World War II film written by a team of authors including: Robert Anton Wilson, Joseph Heller, Umberto Eco, Robert Coover and Anthony Burgess. David Lynch will direct and the filming will make the making of Apocalypse Now look like a walk in the park.

[Cap Mandrake]

Wait...you left out John Dos Pasos, Jean M. Auel, Kurt Vonnegut and Theodore Geisel

[thegreatwent]

They filled in as scabs after the union strike [;)]

[Moondawggie]

ORIGINAL: sprior

But there was this funny little UCMJ clause about "conduct unbecoming an officer and gentleman

The RN has "conduct liable to bring the service into disrepute".

Ah, Lord Sprior, you point out a classic example of the difference between British cultural mores and those of their former vassals and countrymen, the Americans:

When "Punishment Time" comes around, the Americans are disturbed by the actions of the individual. For the British, the shame inflicted on the institution is paramount.

As Sir Winston Churchill reputedly toasted at Casablanca: "Here's to the British and the Americans: two very different peoples, separated by a common language!"

GO OTTER/LUTRA! [:D]

[Moondawggie]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

**************SWPAC HQ, Brisbane, Aug. 20, 1942************


Man in fine linen Etruscan style gown with sandals: You are aware of Admiral Halsey, sir, SouthPac Air Boss?

Are you sure that it was the Etruscans who invented Geometry to conceptually represent their reading of sheep entrails?

I thought it was the Egyptians arguing about property lines following the annual Nile River floods about 1000 years BC...

And did Etruscans really wear gowns with sandals 700 years before the Romans took over their Mediterranean franchise, or is this just another Hollywood-rip-off, historically inaccurate costume ploy Milo used to cunningly befuddle an old-yet-powerful USMA 1903 graduate? [:-]

Hey, I'm just askin' ...

[USSAmerica]

ORIGINAL: sprior

ORIGINAL: Grollub

Speaking of word usage, I believe "perky" has gone out of fashion. [:'(]

Pinky and Perky

...and now we know why it has gone out of fashion. [:D]

[sprior]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Wait...you left out John Dos Pasos, Jean M. Auel, Kurt Vonnegut and Theodore Geisel

And Enid Blyton.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Wait...you left out John Dos Pasos, Jean M. Auel, Kurt Vonnegut and Theodore Geisel

And Enid Blyton.

I imagine she is the misanthrope who wrote those terrible, sadistic otter stories for generations of permantly scarred British kids.

What she ever committed to a psychiatric facility?

[Grollub]

ORIGINAL: sprior

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Wait...you left out John Dos Pasos, Jean M. Auel, Kurt Vonnegut and Theodore Geisel

And Enid Blyton.

So this is really the script for "Five overthrows an Empire" ? [:D]

[sprior]

I was thinking more "Noddy and Big Ears go to Kyoto"

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: sprior

I was thinking more "Noddy and Big Ears go to Kyoto"

Well, I've seen pictures of one of the authors of this AAR. Let's just say that you've got the Big Ears part of that duo covered. [:'(]

[sprior]

But you haven't seen the full elephant impression [:'(]

[BrucePowers]

I have actually met Cap Mandrake so.....

[Reg]

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

I have actually met Cap Mandrake so.....

You've seen Cap Mandrake's elephant impression?? [X(]

I wouldn't mention that on a public forum!! [:-]

Sprior, you are an evil man......

[rtrapasso]

[Argos]

Wow. All 155 pages of wisdom, parasites, strategy (with just the right amount of tactics), foriegn languages, exotic locals - even a bit of leather, tinted windows, and perky bits. Thanks to all for the wonderful writing.

One bit of a non AE suggestion for Cap M though - speaking as someone who spent 10 years as a firefighter and recently stepped down as a battalion chief, I'd suggest adding a tasteful (and, of course, HOA approved) numeric within plain site of your front door. I fear a sudden, horrible misunderstanding involving the best of motiviations, darkness, and firearms could result in the end of this wonderful AAR. You have had two identity mixups, I'd hate for the lowered standards for municipal employees employment testing to land a poor decision maker with a pistol on your doorstep on their first shift.

I have seen a lot of the chaos that occurs even before the arrival at the ER and this, unfortunately, isn't even close to the edge of possibility.

[Cap Mandrake]

Thank Argos. Frau Braun also asked me to repaint the address sign so she could bust my chops more easily. She actually called me the other day after I appealed an HOA summons to a meeting to fine me. She apologized (cleverly, without a hint of accent) for her late reply. It seems she had some kind of "pregnancy complication". I was tempted to ask if her body was rejecting the alien DNA (outerspace DNA, I mean, not Mayan). I caught myself.

Me: Here is the deal, I'm not sure what you want me to do?

Frau Braun: Restore the area on the corner to its former landscaping.

Me: You mean dead grass with gopher holes?

Frau Braun: Mr. Mandrake, I think you know what I mean.

Me: But I put in two flats of Lantana and new mulch.

Frau Braun: Well, they aren't big enough.

Me: Well, that's the thing about plants, they start out small and get bigger.

Frau Braun: Well, you will just have to get them to grow faster.

Me: OK, I can do that. How about if I go out every evening and play some Wagner? You like Wagner, don't you?

Frau Braun: Vahg?

Me: Never mind. How about if I put in some more mulch?

Frau Braun: And more plants too.

Me: Fine, more plants. How about rosemary?

Frau Braun: Rosemary, is that a palm tree? You can't put in any palms.

Me: DEAL! More mulch, more plants, no palms.

Frau Braun: OK, i'll take some pictures and take it back to the Fuhr...er...I mean the Board.....

[Cap Mandrake]

By ra way, my original motivation for sanding off the paint on the address was to keep the IRS narc away. It didn't work.

He came to my door in a suit that would embarass an appliance salesman at Sears.

[Cap Mandrake]

On the night of 19/20, we sent in a crusier force to Port Moresby. The carriers moved South to rest the F4F's and because I was becoming increasngly concerned about some surprise coming from Madang or an unescorted massive Betty raid from Rabaul.

Admiral "Chas" McMorris had a blast (even if he has kind of a sissy nickname)

[Cap Mandrake]

Next up a serious surface force.