Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!
Moderators: wdolson, MOD_War-in-the-Pacific-Admirals-Edition
- Cap Mandrake
- Posts: 20737
- Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2002 8:37 am
- Location: Southern California
RE: Timeshare opportunity
***********Secluded Beach, Northern Tanna, 22:40, August 30,1942***********
3 commando style rubber boats approached a surfaced Japanese sub. Aboard the boats are 2 dozen men, half ethnic Japanese, half ethnic Tannanese in Grey fatgues with subdued orange buttons and shoulder patches. The patches read M&M Enterprises Garrison Unit 2. A man in fine linen slacks stands up to great the senior officer aboard the sub.
Man in fine linen slacks: Ito-san! How goes it baby?
Japanese Officer: It good, Miro. Ito just have rash.
Man in fine linen slacks: Yes, yes. I did not forget about the rash, Ito-san. Here is Captain Weiner, the finest dermatologist in all the South Pacific and I can assure you, Ito-san, he does not come cheaply. <motions to US Army officer in boat>
Captain Weiner: <He stands. He is tall and thin. You can pretty much tell he wanted to be something OTHER than a dermatologist but his mother pushed him into it. I'm not sure what he wanted to be, set designer, landscape architect maybe, but definitely not a dermatologist. You can pretty much assume his mother was not happy he had to leave his lower East side practice in Manhattan to treat jungle rot in the South Pacific for $110 a month either.> Good evening Captain.
Japanese Officer: Good evening Captain. <He reaches to help him aboard. Ito can tell the other officer was pretty much beat up every day at school as a child but, because of the language barrier, he misses an opportunity to ask, "Why not urology, then?">
Captain Weiner: Right, let's have a look at that rash. <The other officer rolls up his short sleeves. He is intensely tanned from the upper arm down but there are odd white spots running down the arm. The garrison unit begins disembarking> Hmmm...hypopigmented macules without scaling or redness in a sworl pattern running down the length of the arm? Have you had this since birth?
Japanese Officer: Ito not know. Ito not remember when born.
Captain Weiner: Right, but since you were a child then?
Japanese Officer: Yes,Ito have since chirdren.
Captain Weiner: How come you didn't come in sooner?
Japanese Officer: Japan Navy no have skin doctor. You fix if Ito come in sooner?
Captain Weiner: No, not really, we just always ask that. It makes the patient feel guilty so they don't complain at the bill. As for the rash, I'm quite sure this is hypomelanosis of Ito.
Japanese Officer: Hypo...?
Captain Weiner: ...melanosis..
Japanese Officer: ..mera...
Captain Weiner: No, melanosis..with an "l". From the Greek.
Japanese Officer: Hypo..meranosis of Ito?
Captain Weiner: Close enough.
Japanese Officer: Rash same name as Ito?
Captain Weiner: Yes, imagine that.
Japanese Officer: You see rash before.
Captain Weiner: Nope, never seen it before. That's why I named it after you.
Japanese Officer: It dangerous?
Captain Weiner: How old are you, Captain?
Japanese Officer: 46
Captain Weiner: Then I am pretty sure it is not dangerous. Here, try this cream.
Japanese Officer: What in cream?
Captain Weiner: Japanese flesh tone make-up.
Japanese Officer: Fresh tone make-up, for womans? Ito no use womans make-up.
Captain Weiner: Suit yourself. Milo, I'm afraid I am going to have to bill you for a comprehensive if this goes on much longer.......
3 commando style rubber boats approached a surfaced Japanese sub. Aboard the boats are 2 dozen men, half ethnic Japanese, half ethnic Tannanese in Grey fatgues with subdued orange buttons and shoulder patches. The patches read M&M Enterprises Garrison Unit 2. A man in fine linen slacks stands up to great the senior officer aboard the sub.
Man in fine linen slacks: Ito-san! How goes it baby?
Japanese Officer: It good, Miro. Ito just have rash.
Man in fine linen slacks: Yes, yes. I did not forget about the rash, Ito-san. Here is Captain Weiner, the finest dermatologist in all the South Pacific and I can assure you, Ito-san, he does not come cheaply. <motions to US Army officer in boat>
Captain Weiner: <He stands. He is tall and thin. You can pretty much tell he wanted to be something OTHER than a dermatologist but his mother pushed him into it. I'm not sure what he wanted to be, set designer, landscape architect maybe, but definitely not a dermatologist. You can pretty much assume his mother was not happy he had to leave his lower East side practice in Manhattan to treat jungle rot in the South Pacific for $110 a month either.> Good evening Captain.
Japanese Officer: Good evening Captain. <He reaches to help him aboard. Ito can tell the other officer was pretty much beat up every day at school as a child but, because of the language barrier, he misses an opportunity to ask, "Why not urology, then?">
Captain Weiner: Right, let's have a look at that rash. <The other officer rolls up his short sleeves. He is intensely tanned from the upper arm down but there are odd white spots running down the arm. The garrison unit begins disembarking> Hmmm...hypopigmented macules without scaling or redness in a sworl pattern running down the length of the arm? Have you had this since birth?
Japanese Officer: Ito not know. Ito not remember when born.
Captain Weiner: Right, but since you were a child then?
Japanese Officer: Yes,Ito have since chirdren.
Captain Weiner: How come you didn't come in sooner?
Japanese Officer: Japan Navy no have skin doctor. You fix if Ito come in sooner?
Captain Weiner: No, not really, we just always ask that. It makes the patient feel guilty so they don't complain at the bill. As for the rash, I'm quite sure this is hypomelanosis of Ito.
Japanese Officer: Hypo...?
Captain Weiner: ...melanosis..
Japanese Officer: ..mera...
Captain Weiner: No, melanosis..with an "l". From the Greek.
Japanese Officer: Hypo..meranosis of Ito?
Captain Weiner: Close enough.
Japanese Officer: Rash same name as Ito?
Captain Weiner: Yes, imagine that.
Japanese Officer: You see rash before.
Captain Weiner: Nope, never seen it before. That's why I named it after you.
Japanese Officer: It dangerous?
Captain Weiner: How old are you, Captain?
Japanese Officer: 46
Captain Weiner: Then I am pretty sure it is not dangerous. Here, try this cream.
Japanese Officer: What in cream?
Captain Weiner: Japanese flesh tone make-up.
Japanese Officer: Fresh tone make-up, for womans? Ito no use womans make-up.
Captain Weiner: Suit yourself. Milo, I'm afraid I am going to have to bill you for a comprehensive if this goes on much longer.......

- Cap Mandrake
- Posts: 20737
- Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2002 8:37 am
- Location: Southern California
RE: Timeshare opportunity
By ra way...there really is a "hypomelanosis of Ito". You will also be happy to know that Ito survives WWIIc, escaping both beheading and war crimes tribunals, to become a dermatorogist.
Hypomelanosis of Ito (HI) is a syndrome with hypopigmented whorls of skin along the Blaschko lines.[1] The old name, incontinentia pigmenti achromians, implies an association with incontinentia pigmenti (IP) and was probably used because hypomelanosis of Ito appears to be the negative image of incontinentia pigmenti. This name was found to be incorrect. Ito, a former Japanese submarine commander who completed his medical training after the war, first described the syndrome in 1952, with only cutaneous findings. Reports soon followed, with description of multiple other congenital defects, mostly neurologic, skeletal, hair, and dental findings.....
http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/1 ... view#a0101
Hypomelanosis of Ito (HI) is a syndrome with hypopigmented whorls of skin along the Blaschko lines.[1] The old name, incontinentia pigmenti achromians, implies an association with incontinentia pigmenti (IP) and was probably used because hypomelanosis of Ito appears to be the negative image of incontinentia pigmenti. This name was found to be incorrect. Ito, a former Japanese submarine commander who completed his medical training after the war, first described the syndrome in 1952, with only cutaneous findings. Reports soon followed, with description of multiple other congenital defects, mostly neurologic, skeletal, hair, and dental findings.....
http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/1 ... view#a0101

RE: Timeshare opportunity
ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
Captain Weiner: How old are you, Captain?
Japanese Officer: 46
Captain Weiner: Then I am pretty sure it is not dangerous.

Intel Monkey: https://sites.google.com/view/staffmonkeys/home
RE: Timeshare opportunity
ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
By ra way...there really is a "hypomelanosis of Ito". You will also be happy to know that Ito survives WWIIc, escaping both beheading and war crimes tribunals, to become a dermatorogist.
Hypomelanosis of Ito (HI) is a syndrome with hypopigmented whorls of skin along the Blaschko lines.[1] The old name, incontinentia pigmenti achromians, implies an association with incontinentia pigmenti (IP) and was probably used because hypomelanosis of Ito appears to be the negative image of incontinentia pigmenti. This name was found to be incorrect. Ito, a former Japanese submarine commander who completed his medical training after the war, first described the syndrome in 1952, with only cutaneous findings. Reports soon followed, with description of multiple other congenital defects, mostly neurologic, skeletal, hair, and dental findings.....
http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/1 ... view#a0101
ented whorls of skin along the Blaschko lines.[1] The old name, incontinentia pigmenti achromians, implies an association with incontinentia pigmenti (IP) and was probably used because hypomelanosis of Ito appears to be the negative image of incontinentia pigmenti. This name was found to be incorrect. Ito, a former Japanese submarine commander who completed his medical training after the war, first described the syndrome in 1952, with only cutaneous findings. Reports soon followed, with description of multiple other congenital defects, mostly neurologic, skeletal, hair, and dental findings.....
i wonder if this is the same guy who described Ito Cells (in the liver) in 1951 (Professor Toshio Ito).
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11450594
PS - you may apply to the AMA for Type 2 CME credit for reading this thread... [;)]
RE: Timeshare opportunity
Prof. Ito in his later years:


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- Cap Mandrake
- Posts: 20737
- Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2002 8:37 am
- Location: Southern California
RE: Timeshare opportunity
ORIGINAL: rtrapasso
Prof. Ito in his later years:
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Are you sure that is Ito-san? He has rather a pencil neck.

- Cap Mandrake
- Posts: 20737
- Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2002 8:37 am
- Location: Southern California
RE: Timeshare opportunity
*********General Marshall's Office, C-Ring, Pentagon, August 31, 1942********
Aide: ..message from General Chennault, in Chungking, sir.
Gen. Marshall: Yes?
Aide: It reads, "Looks like JJ got all pissy and has started strat bombing in China."
Gen. Marshall: He really said "pissy"?
Aide: Yes sir. That is how it decodes.
Gen. Marshall: Well, send him those P-26's in San Francisco and recheck the decoding. It doesn't sound like something an East Texas boy would say.
Aide: ..message from General Chennault, in Chungking, sir.
Gen. Marshall: Yes?
Aide: It reads, "Looks like JJ got all pissy and has started strat bombing in China."
Gen. Marshall: He really said "pissy"?
Aide: Yes sir. That is how it decodes.
Gen. Marshall: Well, send him those P-26's in San Francisco and recheck the decoding. It doesn't sound like something an East Texas boy would say.

RE: Timeshare opportunity
31/8/42
JJ has started bombing heavy industry at Chungking. The RAF immediately transferred 16 Hurricanes there, 32 more have been transferred to Kunming for onward deployment. Another 16 RAF transports have been deployed there to help in the airbridge to Sian.
Meanwhile JJ moves Tojos to magwe as we hit another 6 Oil points there. Warhawks have been moved to escort said wellies and the Mitchells will bomb the airfield.
JJ has started bombing heavy industry at Chungking. The RAF immediately transferred 16 Hurricanes there, 32 more have been transferred to Kunming for onward deployment. Another 16 RAF transports have been deployed there to help in the airbridge to Sian.
Meanwhile JJ moves Tojos to magwe as we hit another 6 Oil points there. Warhawks have been moved to escort said wellies and the Mitchells will bomb the airfield.
"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.
- Chickenboy
- Posts: 24648
- Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2002 11:30 pm
- Location: San Antonio, TX
RE: Timeshare opportunity
This is an unfavorable exchange for the Allies. If JJ is smart, he'll take the opportunity to let you sacrifice your CAP over Chungking by sweep, sweep, sweep, sweeping them to death. As for the Magwe Tojos, the mediums will stand up poorly to them, escorts are so much meat on the table too. You may want to sweep your way to victory there too and take some time off of the Oil bombing campaign.
It will be interesting to see how this can of worms suits either side in 2-4 months time.
It will be interesting to see how this can of worms suits either side in 2-4 months time.

- Cap Mandrake
- Posts: 20737
- Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2002 8:37 am
- Location: Southern California
RE: Timeshare opportunity
ORIGINAL: Chickenboy
This is an unfavorable exchange for the Allies. If JJ is smart, he'll take the opportunity to let you sacrifice your CAP over Chungking by sweep, sweep, sweep, sweeping them to death. As for the Magwe Tojos, the mediums will stand up poorly to them, escorts are so much meat on the table too. You may want to sweep your way to victory there too and take some time off of the Oil bombing campaign.
It will be interesting to see how this can of worms suits either side in 2-4 months time.
Generally, I agree. The P-40's or the Hurris will get clobbered by the Tojos in an escort role over Magwe, but the distance is short so they can gang up and fly sweeps over Magwe, attriting the Tojos and deferring bomber raids until the Tojos are worn down. If JJ brings in more top of the line fighters..so be it..at least they won't be in Oz.
Similarly, the Hurris will probably do well against the Oscar escorts over Chungking, perhaps provoking a sweeps battle. The best way to defeat persistent sweep attacks is to stay on the ground until the attacking fighters get fatigued and then pop up when bombers are expected. This requires a pattern of behavior by the enemy which, of course, cannot always be relied upon. [;)] This is why a human opponent is much more challenging.

- Cap Mandrake
- Posts: 20737
- Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2002 8:37 am
- Location: Southern California
RE: Timeshare opportunity
**********Promontory near Melborne Harbour, Sept 1, 1942**********
After years of careful language and accent training, the painful hair transplants on his eyebrows and back and even his hands, allowing him to gain the trust of the Greek community in Melbourne, Yoshi has been "activated" and will now serve the emperor, even at the cost of his life. He puts glasses to his eyes and peers at the ships unloading in the harbo(u)r. A crane lift an aircraft fuselage with it's propellers and wingtips missing. Twin engine bomber, B-26 perhaps? No, the nose is wrong. Something...something...is very odd. He consults an identification chart. There it is! Page 211, RCAF! He stands upright in the brush and fairly shouts, his training falling by the wayside as he half reverts to his native tongue, "HORY SHIT! It's a fucking Boringbroke!"
After years of careful language and accent training, the painful hair transplants on his eyebrows and back and even his hands, allowing him to gain the trust of the Greek community in Melbourne, Yoshi has been "activated" and will now serve the emperor, even at the cost of his life. He puts glasses to his eyes and peers at the ships unloading in the harbo(u)r. A crane lift an aircraft fuselage with it's propellers and wingtips missing. Twin engine bomber, B-26 perhaps? No, the nose is wrong. Something...something...is very odd. He consults an identification chart. There it is! Page 211, RCAF! He stands upright in the brush and fairly shouts, his training falling by the wayside as he half reverts to his native tongue, "HORY SHIT! It's a fucking Boringbroke!"

RE: Timeshare opportunity
September is here and summer will soon be upon the antipodes. Yes, it's time to launch Otter. The Yank carriers are in Sydney, the Brits in Adelaide. the battleships in Perth. New airfields are being built to house the B-17s that will rain death down up JJs head. The troops are planning their assults on Port Hedland and Derby and other places.
As they say in Glasgow, Otter is stoatin'
As they say in Glasgow, Otter is stoatin'
"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.
RE: Timeshare opportunity
1/9/42
The China Crabs come good:
Morning Air attack on Kunming , at 69,48
Weather in hex: Moderate rain
Japanese aircraft
Ki-49-Ia Helen x 10
Allied aircraft
Hurricane I Trop x 10
Hurricane IIb Trop x 8
Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-49-Ia Helen: 4 destroyed
and later that same day:
Afternoon Air attack on Kunming , at 69,48
Japanese aircraft
Ki-21-IIa Sally x 8
Allied aircraft
Hurricane I Trop x 8
Hurricane IIb Trop x 8
Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-21-IIa Sally: 4 destroyed
This seems to inspire our friends:
Morning Air attack on Sian , at 83,41
Japanese aircraft
Ki-48-Ib Lily x 17
Allied aircraft
P-66 Vanguard x 2
Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-48-Ib Lily: 1 destroyed, 1 damaged
Now remember, the aim of this is to distract JJ from NW Oz and to make him move fighters to the CBI theatre.
The China Crabs come good:
Morning Air attack on Kunming , at 69,48
Weather in hex: Moderate rain
Japanese aircraft
Ki-49-Ia Helen x 10
Allied aircraft
Hurricane I Trop x 10
Hurricane IIb Trop x 8
Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-49-Ia Helen: 4 destroyed
and later that same day:
Afternoon Air attack on Kunming , at 69,48
Japanese aircraft
Ki-21-IIa Sally x 8
Allied aircraft
Hurricane I Trop x 8
Hurricane IIb Trop x 8
Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-21-IIa Sally: 4 destroyed
This seems to inspire our friends:
Morning Air attack on Sian , at 83,41
Japanese aircraft
Ki-48-Ib Lily x 17
Allied aircraft
P-66 Vanguard x 2
Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-48-Ib Lily: 1 destroyed, 1 damaged
Now remember, the aim of this is to distract JJ from NW Oz and to make him move fighters to the CBI theatre.
"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.
- Cap Mandrake
- Posts: 20737
- Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2002 8:37 am
- Location: Southern California
RE: Timeshare opportunity
Admiral Lord Sprior;
The USN CV's are 2 days out from Adelaide with North Carolina, Idaho and Pennsylvania. Colorado is at Melbourne while her escorts are repaired after the trip from Panama. Nevada is at Sydney but will need 2 weeks of repairs. South Dakota is en route from Panama, perhaps two weeks from Wellington. New Mexico will be ready at Pearl in 5 d. PoW ready at Frisco in 2 weeks.
You can therefore count on 3 21-22kt US BB's and one fast BB for phase 1.

The USN CV's are 2 days out from Adelaide with North Carolina, Idaho and Pennsylvania. Colorado is at Melbourne while her escorts are repaired after the trip from Panama. Nevada is at Sydney but will need 2 weeks of repairs. South Dakota is en route from Panama, perhaps two weeks from Wellington. New Mexico will be ready at Pearl in 5 d. PoW ready at Frisco in 2 weeks.
You can therefore count on 3 21-22kt US BB's and one fast BB for phase 1.

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RE: Timeshare opportunity
Crabs under-claiming? Whatever next?
"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.
RE: Timeshare opportunity
Recruiting


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- IAFPoster_Small.jpg (22.78 KiB) Viewed 216 times
"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.
RE: Timeshare opportunity
Hurris


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- Hurri05.jpg (28.73 KiB) Viewed 216 times
"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.
RE: Timeshare opportunity
Smoke over Magwe. (That really is Magwe.)


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- 96796d60.jpg (40.07 KiB) Viewed 216 times
"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.
- Cap Mandrake
- Posts: 20737
- Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2002 8:37 am
- Location: Southern California
RE: Timeshare opportunity
ORIGINAL: sprior
Recruiting
![]()
Wow..I had no idea Peter Max worked for the His Majesty's Indian Air Force recruiting department.
Not sure what that plane is...maybe a B-17 missing 2 engines but it is most certainly NOT a Wapiti..so it is false advertising.

- Chickenboy
- Posts: 24648
- Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2002 11:30 pm
- Location: San Antonio, TX
RE: Timeshare opportunity
I'm just curious why Peter Max was grounded whilest his mates flew overhead, him gazing up in comaradarie and fondness. If Peter Max was any good, why was he grounded? If he wasn't good enough to fly for the Indian Air Force, what hope would I, as a commoner, ever hope to fly some of his majesty's unidentifiable / poorly rendered aircraft in defense of the realm? The whole thing is rather a downer if you ask me.ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
ORIGINAL: sprior
Recruiting
![]()
Wow..I had no idea Peter Max worked for the His Majesty's Indian Air Force recruiting department.
Not sure what that plane is...maybe a B-17 missing 2 engines but it is most certainly NOT a Wapiti..so it is false advertising.





