Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


I asked her for samples to treat premature infants with pulmonary hypertension (it might physiologically actually work for this). She laughed but did not give me any samples. The food wasn't very good either.

The Children!! Somebody think of the Children!!!

Why? Do they need bad take-out or something?

[CaptDave]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Cucarachas in the Coral Sea...again. Where is the number for that exterminator again?

Local number in Port Moresby: call M&M Exterminators at DEep 6 (it's a small exchange!).

[Lecivius]

Gawds, how have I missed this?  I am in SO much trouble, I had to log off I was laughing so hard

[Mynok]

It's ok. You've had a bit much Mandrake root. It will wear off.

Until next time. [:D]

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Cucarachas in the Coral Sea...again. Where is the number for that exterminator again?

Your "estimations of their intentions"? What is this, some sort of strategy game AAR or something? On with the fart jokes, dammit! [:@]

[Mynok]

I'm sure there are HOA rules about strategizing. He has to be discreet ya know.

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Mynok


It's ok. You've had a bit much Mandrake root. It will wear off.

Until next time. [:D]

Oh, for the record, I'm not getting any 'Mandrake root' juice anywhere near me. Let the record clearly show that, please. I sure as hell ain't ingesting any. [:-]

[Cap Mandrake]

So Stalker Girl is up visiting her sister in Idaho and taking her adoptive mom on a road trip "before she dies"...that is what she actually said. It is quite a noble act. She is not buttering her up for the will or anything...she just feels an obligation. Obligation, it turns out, is exactly the right word. She has a million medical problems. In Harrison's Textbook of Internal Medicine, the only section that doens't apply to her is Chagas Disease (crazy South American parasite). Amazingly, she has her own teeth. The only problem is they lost their attachment to the bones in her face 5 years ago. They are now removable. Yes, I said "removable". She has kept the space in her gums open by putting the exfoliated teeth back into their holes manually. She takes them out to eat or sleep, lest they be swallowed. God only knows how many times they have made the circuit, only to be rinsed off and reinserted.[X(]

Anyway, so Stalker Girl calls me from Morro Bay and I can hear her mom say in the background, "I am going to have a BM today", like it's a freakin' shuttle launch or something [:D][:D]

But really that's not why I brough this up. The salient point is that SG is out of town. So Tuesday night I am out front talking to Mandrake Jr. and the neighbor 3 doors up is walking toward my house in some house robe and slippers and socks. She waves. I wave back out of obligation and turn back toward Mandrake Jr. hoping she goes away. She doesn't.

"HEY MANDRAKE! Come here."

There is really no way out. I can't even pretend I don't hear her because Mandrake Jr. is pointing. She is a widow and she is about my age and she probably knows SG is ot of town. Last time I talked to her was at the Viking Longboat Ceremony and she was completely pickled even before she showed up. This could go badly.

I tell Mandrake Jr., "Look, call me in about 15 minutes, OK?" I head up and we talk for a few. She is entirely pickled but the process has come too late. My mom looks younger than her.

"I don't have many male suitors", she says.

"Holy shit", I think to myself.

She insists I come in for some wine. I suggest I need to feed the dogs.

"You shouldn't det the logs run things". She seems completley clueless that consonants are jumping back and forth

<To be continued>

[Smeulders]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So Stalker Girl is up visiting her sister in Idaho and taking her adoptive mom on a road trip "before she dies"...that is what she actually said. It is quite a noble act. She is not buttering her up for the will or anything...she just feels an obligation. Obligation, it turns out, is exactly the right word. She has a million medical problems. In Harrison's Textbook of Internal Medicine, the only section that doens't apply to her is Chagas Disease (crazy South American parasite). Amazingly, she has her own teeth. The only problem is they lost their attachment to the bones in her face 5 years ago. They are now removable. Yes, I said "removable". She has kept the space in her gums open by putting the exfoliated teeth back into their holes manually. She takes them out to eat or sleep, lest they be swallowed. God only knows how many times they have made the circuit, only to be rinsed off and reinserted.[X(]

Anyway, so Stalker Girl calls me from Morro Bay and I can hear her mom say in the background, "I am going to have a BM today", like it's a freakin' shuttle launch or something [:D][:D]

But really that's not why I brough this up. The salient point is that SG is out of town. So Tuesday night I am out front talking to Mandrake Jr. and the neighbor 3 doors up is walking toward my house in some house robe and slippers and socks. She waves. I wave back out of obligation and turn back toward Mandrake Jr. hoping she goes away. She doesn't.

"HEY MANDRAKE! Come here."

There is really no way out. I can't even pretend I don't hear her because Mandrake Jr. is pointing. She is a widow and she is about my age and she probably knows SG is ot of town. Last time I talked to her was at the Viking Longboat Ceremony and she was completely pickled even before she showed up. This could go badly.

I tell Mandrake Jr., "Look, call me in about 15 minutes, OK?" I head up and we talk for a few. She is entirely pickled but the process has come too late. My mom looks younger than her.

"I don't have many male suitors", she says.

"Holy shit", I think to myself.

She insists I come in for some wine. I suggest I need to feed the dogs.

"You shouldn't det the logs run things". She seems completley clueless that consonants are jumping back and forth

<To be continued>

Is the cliffhanger just a literary device or are you updating as you go ?

[DTurtle]

His bathroom break was going too long so he got interrupted for some more quality time.

[Chickenboy]

(sigh) So much for any tournament turns today what with the new toy and all...[:(][;)]

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So Stalker Girl is up visiting her sister in Idaho and taking her adoptive mom on a road trip "before she dies"...that is what she actually said. It is quite a noble act. She is not buttering her up for the will or anything...she just feels an obligation. Obligation, it turns out, is exactly the right word. She has a million medical problems. In Harrison's Textbook of Internal Medicine, the only section that doens't apply to her is Chagas Disease (crazy South American parasite). Amazingly, she has her own teeth. The only problem is they lost their attachment to the bones in her face 5 years ago. They are now removable. Yes, I said "removable". She has kept the space in her gums open by putting the exfoliated teeth back into their holes manually. She takes them out to eat or sleep, lest they be swallowed. God only knows how many times they have made the circuit, only to be rinsed off and reinserted.[X(]

Anyway, so Stalker Girl calls me from Morro Bay and I can hear her mom say in the background, "I am going to have a BM today", like it's a freakin' shuttle launch or something [:D][:D]

But really that's not why I brough this up. The salient point is that SG is out of town. So Tuesday night I am out front talking to Mandrake Jr. and the neighbor 3 doors up is walking toward my house in some house robe and slippers and socks. She waves. I wave back out of obligation and turn back toward Mandrake Jr. hoping she goes away. She doesn't.

"HEY MANDRAKE! Come here."

There is really no way out. I can't even pretend I don't hear her because Mandrake Jr. is pointing. She is a widow and she is about my age and she probably knows SG is ot of town. Last time I talked to her was at the Viking Longboat Ceremony and she was completely pickled even before she showed up. This could go badly.

I tell Mandrake Jr., "Look, call me in about 15 minutes, OK?" I head up and we talk for a few. She is entirely pickled but the process has come too late. My mom looks younger than her.

"I don't have many male suitors", she says.

"Holy shit", I think to myself.

She insists I come in for some wine. I suggest I need to feed the dogs.

"You shouldn't det the logs run things". She seems completley clueless that consonants are jumping back and forth

<To be continued>

...and Mandrake cleverly escapes by strategically announcing "I'm going to have a BM today!"

[Chickenboy]

I forgot to advise the Cap'n to avoid Shar-Pei lycanthropes in his amorous rounds. Nothin' but trouble. [:-]

[rtrapasso]

ORIGINAL: witpqs

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So Stalker Girl is up visiting her sister in Idaho and taking her adoptive mom on a road trip "before she dies"...that is what she actually said. It is quite a noble act. She is not buttering her up for the will or anything...she just feels an obligation. Obligation, it turns out, is exactly the right word. She has a million medical problems. In Harrison's Textbook of Internal Medicine, the only section that doens't apply to her is Chagas Disease (crazy South American parasite). Amazingly, she has her own teeth. The only problem is they lost their attachment to the bones in her face 5 years ago. They are now removable. Yes, I said "removable". She has kept the space in her gums open by putting the exfoliated teeth back into their holes manually. She takes them out to eat or sleep, lest they be swallowed. God only knows how many times they have made the circuit, only to be rinsed off and reinserted.[X(]

Anyway, so Stalker Girl calls me from Morro Bay and I can hear her mom say in the background, "I am going to have a BM today", like it's a freakin' shuttle launch or something [:D][:D]

But really that's not why I brough this up. The salient point is that SG is out of town. So Tuesday night I am out front talking to Mandrake Jr. and the neighbor 3 doors up is walking toward my house in some house robe and slippers and socks. She waves. I wave back out of obligation and turn back toward Mandrake Jr. hoping she goes away. She doesn't.

"HEY MANDRAKE! Come here."

There is really no way out. I can't even pretend I don't hear her because Mandrake Jr. is pointing. She is a widow and she is about my age and she probably knows SG is ot of town. Last time I talked to her was at the Viking Longboat Ceremony and she was completely pickled even before she showed up. This could go badly.

I tell Mandrake Jr., "Look, call me in about 15 minutes, OK?" I head up and we talk for a few. She is entirely pickled but the process has come too late. My mom looks younger than her.

"I don't have many male suitors", she says.

"Holy shit", I think to myself.

She insists I come in for some wine. I suggest I need to feed the dogs.

"You shouldn't det the logs run things". She seems completley clueless that consonants are jumping back and forth

<To be continued>

...and Mandrake cleverly escapes by strategically announcing "I'm going to have a BM today!"

No, she probably would have replied "Is there any way i can help?"

[witpqs]

Oh that's nasty. I'm going back to something pleasant, like skinning road kill.

[Chickenboy]

I know...making it with a drunk woman in a bathroom. So icky. Who the hell does he think he is, Ben Roethlisberger? [:D]

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: witpqs

Oh that's nasty. I'm going back to something pleasant, like skinning road kill.

Which reminds me-why did the elephant cross the road?

[witpqs]

Umm, I dunno.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: DTurtle

His bathroom break was going too long so he got interrupted for some more quality time.

I fear there may have been a misunderstanding. This is not Wisteria Lane and Old Widda' Smith is definitely NOT Eva Longoria.

Here is the deal. The "parent" organization sent me to this self-improvement, self-actualization, spiritual, be a better manager conference type thingy...you know lots of touchy feely, sharing, reflection..that kind of thing.

The take home message seemed to be, "Stop being such a selfish, narcissistic, inconsiderate ***hole and try thinking about someone else for a change before you drop dead and your family donates your body to science so they don't have to pay the cremation charges you clueless, knuckle-dragging Neanderthal."

I am trying to implement the suggestions they made. It's just not easy.

The old me would have waved at Old Widda' Smith and squinted like I couldn't see that far then sprinted for the house..but this is the new me, the empathetic one. Anyway, I can see she is pleased to have a human being to talk too, especially a serious hunk of manhood like me. We talked in the street for a bit and then she invited me in for some wine. I did try the BM excuse. I told her my dog Pinhead would probably shit on the carpet if I didn't take her for a walk. She would not give up. It was either go to her place for a glass of wine or she was going to follow me into my house. I had no choice. I decided to let her reel me in and say a prayer it was "catch and release". [:)]

I had forgotten how nice her house is. The kitchen is mahogany with inlaid birch or something. There are custom turned and carved mahogany newel posts in the center island and the countertops are 2 inch thick granite, the edges of which are not bull-nosed or beveled but have a rough surface with no tool marks like they found an 8x12 foot rectangular column of granite somewhere and took big slice out of it. The rain gutters are custom fabricated copper with hand soldered joints and the elbows were pounded out by hand at the site to make the proper curves. Her former husband never went to college but made a ton of money (many dozens of millions I am sure) on monthly storage facilities. These are places where Americans put the crap they don't want anymore and didn't really need in the first place (which they purchased with money they didn't have but instead borrowed against their home equity which they don't have anymore either).*

Oh yeah, I almost forgot, there is also a 900,000 BTU grill out back that has not been used in 5 years. I was reminded of the male character in Tom Wolfe's A Man in Full who hooks up with an older woman with a big house in Buckhead so he doesn't have to work any more.

She poured me some wine and announced, "I have a coktail going".

"No kidding?" I just thought that. I didn't really say that out loud.

She told me about how she didn't trust her "male suitors" because she had more money than they did.

"Duh!" I didn't really say that either. I was practicing my listening skills. She told me about how she found her husband blue and cold after he took half a bottle of opiates and drank two whole bottles of Scotch. It seems they were separated but "hooked up" again for the night. That is what she said, "hooked up".

I am thinking to myself, "Holy crap! What was I thinking? I should just go back to being a self-centered ***hole. This empathy **** is killing me. I'm just no good at it." She reached over and touched my hand. It might have just been a neighborly, friendly gesture...but I doubt it. "Come on Mandrake Jr. Make the call. Make the call now!"

Just then the phone rings. Now, I know you are going to think I am just making all this crap up, but really, it was Mandrake Jr., seriously. "Daaa...aaad, what are you dooooing?"

I have never been more proud of her.

* This may be a run on sentence.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Cucarachas in the Coral Sea...again. Where is the number for that exterminator again?

Your "estimations of their intentions"? What is this, some sort of strategy game AAR or something? On with the fart jokes, dammit! [:@]

Admiral Lord Sprior! Admiral Lord Sprior! They are making fun of us again...or at least me.

**********************Sep. 6, 1942*******************


The Jap carriers did move West and have arrived off Rossell Is. The transports were attacked by a sub, by Hudsons and Beaughfighters and B-17's and LB-30's. The anchovy population in the area has now been severely depleted. Two bombs from B-17's actually struck two AK's. The transports are said now to be heading SE and I dont beleive they could have possibly unloaded. Apparently there was a bit of an mutiny among the AK crews.

B-17's moving to Gerladton. B-24's resting up at Alice.


SouthPac: JJ is either evacuating or supplying/reinforcing Tanna. Long range B-17 attacks from Suva don't hit anything. Three more infantry regiments (2 USMC and 1 Army ) will arrive Suva next 5-6 d. they will then move to Nadi and we will try again to get 1:1 attack odds. Relentless, though not very damaging, attacks by medium bombers and fighters continue at Nadi. If the three new regiments don't do the job then the LYB's can just camp out in the jungle until the war is over.