Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[jeffk3510]

[:D]

[crsutton]

ORIGINAL: witpqs

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Much more manly to use a Boys Rifle.

Boyish to use a Boys Rifle. Manly to use a Boyes Rifle.

Training film for the Boys ATR. Made by Disney, no less...

http://youtu.be/ov4lOcD7O5c

[Cap Mandrake]

******M&M Enterprises Day Laborer Hiring Center, Port Headland, Sept. 21, 1942*****



Japanese Engineering Officer: <steps out of small truck> I need twerve strong workers.

Chap from Jalisco: Doce? <starts counting out those to be on crew> Ocho dolares! <holds up 8 fingers to signify hourly rate>

Japanese Engineering Officer: EIGHT DORARS! You crazy! Japan officer get Koreans.

Chap from Jalisco: Amigo, joo no got no Koreans. Dat why joo here. Amigo, los bey-diez y sietes, dey come back. <smiles confidently, revealing a gold tooth. He tucks his thumbs under his ranchero belt buckle.>.............

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: crsutton

ORIGINAL: witpqs

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Much more manly to use a Boys Rifle.

Boyish to use a Boys Rifle. Manly to use a Boyes Rifle.

Training film for the Boys ATR. Made by Disney, no less...

http://youtu.be/ov4lOcD7O5c

Excellent find, sir. Most interesting.

[Alfred]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

******M&M Enterprises Day Laborer Hiring Center, Port Headland, Sept. 21, 1942*****



Japanese Engineering Officer: <steps out of small truck> I need twerve strong workers.

Chap from Jalisco: Doce? <starts counting out those to be on crew> Ocho dolares! <holds up 8 fingers to signify hourly rate>

Japanese Engineering Officer: EIGHT DORARS! You crazy! Japan officer get Koreans.

Chap from Jalisco: Amigo, joo no got no Koreans. Dat why joo here. Amigo, los bey-diez y sietes, dey come back. <smiles confidently, revealing a gold tooth. He tucks his thumbs under his ranchero belt buckle.>.............

Broome used to be a major pearling port. At the turn of the twentieth century Japanese "heritage" divers formed a major part of the pearling workforce. Could the Japanese Engineering Officer not make some inquiries there to see if he could tap into any residual nostalgia for the land of the cherry blosoms?

Alfred

[Cap Mandrake]

**************Northern limits Cable Beach, Broome Australia, Sept 22, 1942********


<the silhouette of a submarine can just be seen offshore in the nearly moonless night. A small raft approaches>

IJN Officer (sort of): I Captain Ito. Eagle fry at midnight.

Mr. Hata, Esq.: <Standing on shore> Wound my heart with a monotonous langour, mate. James Hata, Esq., M&M Enterprises, Temp Workers Division <extends hand>

IJN Officer (sort of): Nice beach.

Mr. Hata, Esq.: Cable Beach, mate. Mi mum used to pearl dive here......Salties took her.

IJN Officer (sort of): Sarties?

Mr. Hata, Esq.: Crocodiles. Big nasty 18 footer. Even took her last dive's worth of pearls.

IJN Officer (sort of): Ito sorry.

Mr. Hata, Esq.: No worries, mate. That's why I went into the law. It was either that or gardening because I won't go back in the water.

IJN Officer (sort of): You have gord?

Mr. Hata, Esq.: 22 oz troy, Government of Philippines <hands over bar> Tell Mr. Minderbinder if he could start the attacks on Broome I could easily double this. I have a whole crew from Morelia just doing yard work. And please have him send a couple of cases of TapaTio next time. These guys go through it like water.

[Cap Mandrake]

***********Sept 22, 1942************

Oz: More air battles over PH. Half the P-38's took on the whole Tojo CAP with equal losses on both sides (6-8 airframes). This was painful but the heavies were largely unmolested and a big raid of Forts from Geraldton and B-24's from Marakesh arrived simultaneously and destroyed some Mavi on the ground. Runway damage is up to about 35%. This is not enough, of course. A planned raid over Broome from Alice did not go in. I think JJ is cycling in new fighters from Wyndham. More of the same today. 5 replacment P-38's taken at Marakesh.

Hawaii: After months of repair in SF, PoW took two torps from a sub off Lahaina trying to refuel. She will have to go to Pearl and kick out one of the old girls out of drydock.

SouPac: Two new regiments arraived at Nadi. I will attack there in a day or two. I am hatching a plan to take back Norfolk Is. to shorten my shipping routes and make some noise. It looks like New Scotland is devoid of Jap aircraft.

[witpqs]

Even took her last dive's worth of pearls.

[Cap Mandrake]

Sign in today was "VAGJOY".[:D] I am not making this up. It sounds like some kind of home entertainment product that would involve batteries. Either that or it is a golf bag designed to be marketed at the Dinah Shores Classic. There is no doubt now that the sign-in code words are not just the random combinations of vowels and diphthongs assembled by some kind of Sign-in Bot. I think the Matrix boys are making these up.


Funny thing happened on the homestead last night. I went to sleep early but Stalker Girl stayed up to edify herself by watching Real Housewives of Hoboken. When it was over, she came upstairs but I was "snoring real bad" (as she put it). Now, to begin, I don't accept the use of negative language to describe snoring. Truly epic snoring, when achieved, is nothing to be ashamed of. I view it as a sort of transcendental state that can only be achieved with years of practice and many racks of baby back ribs, french fries...yada, yada, yada. Anyway, she decides to divert to my older daughter's old room (who lives in LA now). She hops in, plein air you might say, and falls asleep. What she doesn't know is I have picked up the Mayan and that is the room where she sleeps when she stays over.

Did I mention there are no working lamps in the room? [:D] Anyway, after a time, the Mayan gets done doing whatever Mayans do before they go to bed and she hops into the small double bed.

"AJ SENORA!?!"

"AY SAVINA!?"

[:D][:D]

Stalker Girl relinquished and came back in my room and pulled off the covers violently and woke me up.

"Thanks pal..you didn't tell me Savina was here."[:)][:D]


As to the war...oh yes...Port Headland had bad weather and there was no raid. One B-24 in the raid over Broome was shot down by the CAP of 7 Tojos there (or from AAA). Minor damamge to the runway should keep the crew from Morelia busy for a few hours and make Mr. Hata happy.

[Cap Mandrake]

Another funny story my brother told me on the fishing trip. It seems he took his son and nephews and my nephew's friend out to dinner on New Year's Eve at a Chinese restaurant. They ordered a Peking (Beijing) duck and tried to order drinks. The problem is the youngsters were under 21 and they didnt have enough fake ID's to go around. The waiter cards everyone in halting Engrish but when he gets to Carlos (my nephew's friend) he has no fake ID so, on the spot, he decides to make up a fake language and begins to answer in gibberish. [:D] Within seconds, the other guests catch on to the gag and pretend to translate what Carlos is saying to the waiter in Engrish. Much confusion ensues but Carlos keeps it up. Finally, in frustration the waiter holds up an ID and points to Carlos. It appears he is finally finished. Looks like it will be Diet Coke for him. Just then, the wait staff delivers the whole roast duck with much fanfare. In an inspired act of extemporaneous brilliance, Carlos stands up and pretends to bless the duck in his gibberish language. Everyone at the table bows their heads in respect (just as well as they are all barely able to keep from laughing at this poiint). There is lots of waving of hands and beseaching of the heavens. The wait staff take two steps back and bow their heads in deference. They seem awed to have a patron express such respect for the bird. Just when the bressing seems to be over and the wait staff begin to cautiously step forward he launches into another round. Finally the waiter either relents on the ID or forgets and Carlos gets his Tsingdao.[;)]

I am not sure yet whether Carlos has helped his ecclesiastical ranking.

[Alfred]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


As to the war...oh yes...Port Headland had bad weather and there was no raid. One B-24 in the raid over Broome was shot down by the CAP of 7 Tojos there (or from AAA). Minor damamge to the runway should keep the crew from Morelia busy for a few hours and make Mr. Hata happy.

Which reminds me, just last week there was a colourful discussion as to whether hourly rates or phase rates are used in AE.

I reckon that your well known position with regard to reading the manual should not be a bar to you knowing the answer; after all we are talking about the very sinews of capitalism here, a subject well mastered by all employees and stockholders of M&M Enterprises.

Taking this a step further, are they on wages or salary? Or are they all individual contractors? Any standard entitlements, say annual holiday leave, health insurance etc?

Alfred

[Mynok]

I am not sure yet whether Carlos has helped his ecclesiastical ranking.

If by "ecclesiastical ranking" you mean "hustler rep", I'm sure it skyrocketed.

[Lecivius]

Man, I have GOT to quit coming to this thread.&nbsp; I was laughing so hard I had real tears!&nbsp; My boss comes over to look over my shoulder, reads a bit, & slaps me upside the head.&nbsp; All I could do was slide outta my chair to the floor laughing so hard I could not breath.&nbsp;
&nbsp;
The whole office was looking at me!

[Itdepends]

Hey Captain- you're damn lucky the Mayan said Senora and not Senor- or Stalker girl might have made sure you didn't wake up [X(]

[Cap Mandrake]

**********LYB HQ, Port Headland, Sept. 23, 1942********


Col. Saito: <looking over financial ledgers> Maj. Fukushima, Is there no way to control expenditures? These expenses have quintupled.

Maj. Fukushima, Commander of engineers for Northwestern Australia: Hai! <snaps to attention> Major approached by Mr. Hata to convert from a frat monthly mainenence contract to an hourry rate. Mr. Hata say it save Japans money.

Col. Saito: I see. So you canceled the flat rate contract?

Maj. Fukushima, Commander of engineers for Northwestern Australia: Hai!

Col. Saito: And what day was that, Major?

Maj. Fukushima, Commander of engineers for Northwestern Australia: Rast Sunday, sir.

Col. Saito: Major, do you recall what day the American air offensive began?

Maj. Fukushima, Commander of engineers for Northwestern Australia: Hai! Monday, sir.

Col. Saito: Yes, Monday. And what inference do you draw from that Major?

Maj. Fukushima, Commander of engineers for Northwestern Australia: Mr. Hata very, rucky, sir.

Col. Saito: Lucky? You think he is lucky?

Maj. Fukushima, Commander of engineers for Northwestern Australia: Hai!

Col. Saito: Major, do you imagine Japan will win this war?

Maj. Fukushima, Commander of engineers for Northwestern Australia: Hai! Major sure Japans win.

Col. Saito: <clicks on SONY intercom> Sargeant, draft a letter to my broker. Tell him I want to liquidate my position in Mitsubishi Heavy Industries and move into gold right away. <unclicks intercom> Now, Major, tell me about this bill....1,100 yen for something called TapaTio?

[Chickenboy]

Major Fukushima will be getting some time in the 'hotbox', that's for sure...Only this time, Alec Guiness won't be on hand to bail him out.

[CaptDave]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Major Fukushima will be getting some time in the 'hotbox', that's for sure...Only this time, Alec Guiness won't be on hand to bail him out.

Somehow, the "cooler" and Bob Crane seem to be a more appropriate picture!

[Cap Mandrake]

No turn yet from the crafty LYB's. They are probably fueling and arming every vessel and airplane for the fight in Oz. Meanwhile, in the hood.....

What does the father of the youngest winner of the French Open do when Frau Braun gets after him for dead grass?

He gets out there with a frickin' rake and mixes it up with the Morelia boys. The poor guy knows nothing about plants. He, call him Mr. Ching, told me he was tired of the water bills. I have no doubt. Some months if I irrigate more, I can reach the 7th tier of water company billing Hell. He has a gigantic place on like 6 or 7 acres (although most isn't irrigated). I can't even imagine what tier he is on. He should have sunk a well when he was getting the big fat stream of money from his son. Even his wife was out there with this ridiciulous 3 foot wide hat standing right over the shoulder of the poor guy from Morelia putting in new sprinkler heads. She kept telling him, "No highah, highah". I half expected to see her in the bushes with a trenching shovel buried in her forehead when I got home.

I told him about the lantana I put in and the troubles I had with Frau Braun and to be careful with her because she is a class A ******. I don't think he got the Berchtesgaden reference.

[witpqs]

Take heart. The chances of La Nina returning this autumn and winter have increased significantly, meaning less rain.

[sprior]

Actually the turn is with me but I'm back at work this evening so it won't be done tonight either